Help needed

  • I lost my job this year after 21 years and lost $100,000 in my retirement. My husband lost his business of 12 years and I am the only one receiving unemployment. We are both around 50 years old. Our house was repo-ed yesterday and our truck will be soon after, so who knows what we will be driving than. We owe much money in bills and my health is not doing very good. My children and their families are having their problems as well with trying to help us out an so I worry about them. I have applied to several jobs and have not been hired. We have approximately a couple of weeks to live in this house that I had for over 20 years. I recently was told about a house for $500.00 a month, no 1st, last, or deposit, that is bigger and nicer than what I am living in. The couple would like a lease with option to buy. I know it fell into our way, but am scared with the aspect of neither one of us having a job. Our we at the end of our bad spell? Is hope on the way? Please help shed some light. God Bless!

  • Dearest Sporty48, gosh!!! I hope things start falling into place for you soon!!!!

    : ). Keep the faith, don't give up, Ii wish you only the best always!!!!...

  • Sporty48, I feel the message for you is to stop living in the past and try using modern means to solve your problems. I feel you could possibly get a bank loan if you're interested in getting a house.

  • I know a loan sounds improbable but I feel you should try anyway. Is there a smaller type bank or some sort of community scheme or co-op around you?

  • Wishing you good luck Sporty a fair while ago hubby and I were in a similar situation, my home was in with my job, and hubby just lost his, we had to move in with ma in law, still there, but things are looking up, even if still tight,hubby got a low paid job and we maxed out our cards to manage, and we're still clearing that but he's got a better job now and there's light at the end of the tunnel and this time it isn't a train !!

    wishing you good luck

    Love and Light

    Blessed Be

  • sporty

    how did you lose so much in retirement? is this a mistake on their behalf? if it is, you need to file lawsuit. Also, is it possible to sell your house? after 20 yrs there shouldn't be much mortgage left. some ppl usually prefer to buy without much mortgage left.

    I think rather than spend more money to get your own space, you can probablt stay with your children, until you find a job. It will take some arrangements, but you can split costs with them, which will help them too.

    I hope help comes your way.

  • by the way has anyone any idea how to deal nicely with a very negative m.i.l ?, she's a load older than me born in 1924 to my '58 and traditional Irish, and has periods when she's always on my case I know she's on a limited income and all that implies but we are trying to clear large debts and pay for our son's college, she wants me to stay at home and keep house one minute and then says I should work to keep hubby the next, I hate arguing with her, but she seems to go through periods of baiting me. I can see the point of some of the stuff she's saying, (I ruined the bath and lino in the bathroom using the wrong (too strong)cleaners and it now looks permanently grubby, )hubby was going to fix it but when she goes on he refuses to do anything about it yes the place is messy but we've got the stuff I rescued from my flat, Dylan's stuff for college, Warhammer and 40k too and his model railway layout, with more trains and extras too,plus Allan's union paperwork, hisbooks and his union coursework stuff, plus my jewellerywork books, my jewellery workstuff for the business my books, a rabbit (live) and also a small kitchenette (in the upper hallway) because she doesn't leave us alone when we are cooking, plus all the stuff normal people have in a full size place in three rooms upstairs, with less than half of the storage space. Neither of the males tidy up after themselves, (well hubby does sometimes, Dylan leaves stuff anywhere he drops it.) ideally we'd have an office/study so we could have a normal living room instead of a combination workroom/office/ livingroom dylan would have a bedroom big enough with cupboards to put his stuff in and so would we, then we'd love to get our own house with a kitchen and space to just be I know it's always hard living in someone elses house and with the differences in our ages and life attitudes (her being a catholic and me being a pagan) it makes it worse but I want to not argue as I'm sure it's bad for her as well as me, and I really wanted to have this as a year without any more negativity in it, and my resolution hasn't even lasted the month

    love and light to all

    Blessed Be

  • Sporty 48 how horrible this situation my heart aches for you. Remember when you are down, the only way to go is up! Sounds cheesy but it's true, this too shall pass, remember that old saying, "when one door is closed" try to stay positive and think about what you do have and have faith, "step out" on faith believing, something good will happen, don't give up hope whatever you do because you have to believe something good is coming, you can't see, smell it or touch it, but its coming.

  • ps sorry about venting here, sporty need you guys more than I

  • Sporty48, I have some more information for you. I see employment for you in March but only after you make changes to the way you present yourself for a job. I feel you don't always put your best face forward there. I feel the work is to do with the elderly - maybe in an aged care facility. I also feel your husband joining you to work there around September and feel he will have a possible job driving a truck in the meantime. With the house, I feel there is a better offer coming rom a friend.

  • You are so nice to give me help. My husband was offered a job pumping gas for a couple of hours a week at the local store and he said he would do it. I do not have a good feeling about the owner, but he has to do something. One of the kids that my husband coaches, his mom is a realtor and showed us a 2 bed, 2 bath that is 2 blocks from where we currently live that the older couple wants to sell so they do not lose it, as they had to move out of town. It is $500.00 a month, no depost, no 1st and no last, all they want is for us to do is clean it, shampoo and paint it before we move in. Plus a contract of a lease with option. It is much better than what I was living in, but I am afraid of getting the $500.00 to pay every month since we really do not have it now. My husband said to trust in God and that it will all work out. I do trust in God, I just have touble with that aspect. I don't like to do something that I am not absolutely sure that I can. If I had the job I would not feel so bad about it. On another note I just got a letter stating I did not get picked for the job I interviewed for last week, but I knew when I walked out of the room that I did not get it. I have 1 application I sent in this week for a state job and I keep checking on the federal jobs, but nothing there I qualify for yet. I want to be a manager, but not sure if that is going to work for me at first. Lots of work and lots of hope. Sorry I took up your time, I just want to thank you as for some reason I felt a connection with you. So I hope God will bless you for all the help you are giving others, have a great day!

  • I feel you need to be more confident and positive at the job interviews if you want a managerial position.

    And I do feel things this year will be so much better for you and your husband. Yes, the man at the gas station cannot be trusted so your husband should keep his eye out for another job while working there. I feel he can get a truck driving job so maybe if he asks all the truck drivers he comes into contact with there if they know of some work.

    Anytime you want to talk here, feel free.

  • You can vent all you want, we all need help, some of us more than others, but regardless, if you write about it than you need it. Hopefully you will receive whatever help you need, I will pray for youy. God bless!

  • Thank you for confirming my suspicions, I will advise him. I will keep in touch with you. It is nice to meet a new friend. Good night!

  • Good luck Sporty wish you all success

    Love and Light

    Blessed Be

  • Sporty, it seems you're getting great advice from 'other' sources. When you're down you feel like it can't get any worse. It won't. It can only get better and go up the spiral. Hold onto the fact that you can get a good job, step outside the box. Deep breath, have the confidence to know that you can do it. Have faith, it will happen. It's a time to start afresh with a brand new approach, change your thinking. Be absolutely positive, there is no room for doubt. Don't let it enter the picture. Go out there and get what you deserve.

    Peace, love and happy days to you


  • Chrissicat, Mother in laws will always get on your case. People are never good enough for sons. God help me, when my son marries. Way off in the distance yet thankfully!! I will try and learn from my lessons as a daughter in law. Although I was lucky, she was lovely and she did stick up for me sometimes. She did have her moments though. Sadly, she died 2 years ago. She was so flippin stubborn, wouldn't go to the Doctors. It was just too late. She is missed, there's a big hole. The matrioch has gone. Sorry, going off on a tangent here. Was hoping she'd come to me, she has once. I just had a dream and she was very disapproving of me. Don't know what that was about! I'm obviously not open to all that stuff. I'd love to be. Anyway......... does your husband ulitmately stick up for you? that does help. I hope he does. Boys still like to have their Mum wrapped round their little finger. It can be such a pain, holding your tongue too. I feel for you, they can make your life extremely difficult. Vent on here. If you exercise, thrash it out. I sometimes go into a quiet part of my head, where there's peace and wait it out when there's chaos all around. It isn't easy and requires great strength of mind and practise. I'm still practising.

    Take care, everything passes


  • The company did their own investing with the stocks and said that they miss represented it and so it looks worse and with the stock market crashing that did not help either, so the employees took the hit. Sounds like another Enron thing to me. What gripes me is that they said they will not turn it over to me until 2016 as they layed me off. If I had quit they would have had to of given it to me within 1 year, so what I need is to get a job so I can afford to get an attorney, because I am afraid that my best interest is not their concern now and they could care less if it makes up lost ground. I need to get it in my hands to get it to the people who will invest it and make some more money into it as I think I will be lucky if I can work another 20 years and that is how long it took me to make this and now I will have to start all over again. What is your opinion on this?

  • intriqued: Thank you for the advice, it is nice to have someone give me a pep talk when I really needed one. God Bless.

  • Thank you chrissicat.

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