Can use a little encouragement



  • I'm not normally one to complain and I'm not looking for a pity party, but today has been a bit rough and I can use a little direction. My life hasn't been very easy since a very ugly, vindictive divorce two years ago, and I've been trying to rebuild ever since. I'm doing it all alone...it hasn't been easy, but I keep trying to keep my chin up and be positive and strong. I keep telling myself that things will get better, but I also feel that I just need one break to get that rolling. If I can get a break, I'll be able to do the rest. Normally, I roll with the punches and just keep going. I even had one of my best friends tell me, "I believe in karma, but what the heck are you paying for??" Oddly enough it made me laugh, because she and I both know that I really try to be nice to folks all the time and do the right thing.

    I know that alot of folks here are in the same boat, so I'm not trying to make myself out as any worse off than anyone else. I'm just a bit bummed today because two places that I was hoping for help both turned me down, and I guess it was just a bit hard to take a one-two punch. I just feel like I keep trying and keep running up against brick wall. So...I can use a little encouragement today, and it would be muchly appreciated! Thanks a bunch, and much Love, Light and Blessings to all! 🙂



  • Sending prayers and blessings. Keep your chin up.:)



  • Hey D. Angel --- Changed your name, lol, for this posts' purpose. You know you are strong so no debate there. I've witnessed how wonderful you are with the people here and like your friend's cute statement, "I believe in karma, but what the heck are you paying for??" .

    I don't think you are paying! You're earning ! Its going to be a good year; a year of mixed blessings.

    Determine what is an actual need? Use your strengths -- be methodical, but remain flexible enough to side step people you can't get thru to or look in another direction to get what you need for you/son.

    Keep open heart and mind --- remember difference between motivation that is helpful and stubborness that can be harmful. Try and stay away from anyone in your life that is argumentative and doesn't have your back.

    Darkness angel, you share common sense and a wealth of info with so many. It stinks to read that you are going through a rough patch. No, its not a pity party ... : > ) You have to much good stuff going on inside you for me to think for one second you won't rise again. Wishing a better tomorrow for you ! (Uh, weird, but when was last physical?)



  • Hello Darkness Angel,

    I am going through a similar time in my life, and I just want you to know that I am praying for you. I have been seperated and about to file for divorce, just havent had the funds. he is not for the divorce. I am living with my dad and trying to move up at work so that I can afford my own apartment. I can tell that you are a good person, and I feel that sometime here soon, things will start to turnaround for you. Keep your head up sweetie!!!



  • Dearest D Angel ( who beholds Angelic Light )

    too many, I wish I had valuable insight

    but I don't, got my own stuff....am dealing with. What's helped me is blowing my pain anguish anger etc just like Leoscorpion suggests, cry if you must don't hold back the tears, tune In to the still small voice of "All There Is",Angels whatever is out there steering the way, the one that tells you it's all gonna be ok, you're gonna be fine! Do you ever hear that in your deepest darkest hour?

    Do you hear that when in much sorrow ?

    I do and , it is Truth! Blow your pain into crystals it really helps!!!!

    Pray and plead and beg the Angels to help and guide you!

    You are not alone!!!

    Best to you...



  • Dear Darkness angel, I went through divorce long, long time ago and still remember the pain that lingered for a long time. It has been 24 yrs. now and I am happy alone and successful. You are grieving still. Whether you like it or not, and not a matter of karma, you go through painful process. What I learned from experience is first you have to forgive yourself. We are all humans and we make mistakes and others make mistakes on us. You need to understand you and you need to forgive you. Then you will understand the other that wronged you and you will move on. The future is fresh and wonderful. Meet it with fresh mind and heart. Dip in a salt bath. Light a candle and relax. Love yourself, love your time, love your surrounding, love your life now... and your world will love you back. Goodluck. Smile.



  • cyw39, thank you so much for your prayers, blessings and encouragement. It warms my heart. 🙂

    Laie, thanks for the name change, lol! And I really, really appreciate you turning around my point of view with I'm "not paying karma, I'm earning it". I never thought of it that way...if my life keeps going the way it is, I'll be a gazillionaire by the end of the year...woohoo! 😄

    I keep prioritizing and tackling things, and trying to stay away from the negativity. That one is a bit tougher because I share a home with her. But trying very hard to keep the peace for the benefit of all until my son and I can move out. That was one of the things that let me down today, that I thought I'd finally found us a place, but it fell through. But thank you for encouraging me to "keep on truckin'"! 🙂

    wickedmoon, I couldn't afford my divorce for a time, either, but it finally happened. Check around and see if you can find a pro bono attorney. They can handle your divorce for free. Call your local Bar Association. I wish you the best! I'm happy that my divorce is over, because now my life is my own. You'll feel better too, once you get through it. I wish you the best! And thank you for your encouraging words to me, too! 🙂

    Goldenhill, thank you so very much for your advice. You're right, even when things get rough, there is still a voice inside of me that says, "keep going, it will get better!" Sometimes you just hit a bit of a rough patch. Thank you for encouraging me with your wisdom! 🙂

    Tellstar, I think you're right. I'm not grieving over losing the ex...no, that was a good thing, lol. But I lost everything else and was left with nothing to start over with, not even support. Then the last four months have just sort of piled it on, and nothing to do with the divorce. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed and let down today, but I so appreciate your thoughts and advice. I know I'll be fine in the long run. Thank you so much for your kind words, they really touched me. 🙂

    Thank you all for your encouragement and uplifting words! Many blessings to you in return! 🙂



  • Darkness Angel my prayers are with you hon. I am in the same boat with the one two punch. I do have strong faith and I know this is another lesson or test to get through. Keep your chin and and keep moving forward in a positve way and all will work out.

    Love & Light to you



  • Np, Darkness angel.

    Been there with my four, at the time they were 15 thru 10 or so.

    What you have given will be return .... All the best !



  • soapmaker, thank you so very much for your encouragement and kind words. Today I made forward progress and hopefully these connections will lead to something that's helpful to me and my son. You're a wonderful lady! Many blessings! 🙂

    Laie, thank you for your encouragement and best wishes, too! I'm glad that things are better for you, and I know that my turn will come soon! Love and Light! 🙂



  • Okay, maybe some good news, but it's not solid yet. I may have found a place to move into for myself and my son. It's not a done deal, but I'm hopeful. Please everyone, can you all keep your fingers crossed for me that this happens?

    The current living situation that my son and I are in is very toxic...the third person that we are living with is just awful...and we have been stuck in it for over two years. The last month has been the worst, but I keep telling myself and my son not to make waves, just roll with the punches, keep the peace, etc., and things will get better, and we will get away from this toxic person. I have been trying to get a place for us for the last two years, but my income just hasn't been good enough. I just found out about this place last night, and couldn't sleep last night for praying over and over that it will happen.

    Many, many thanks to anyone who says a prayer that this will come through! Blessings to all! 🙂



  • D Angel, Im hoping and praying that the move goes through for you and brings you to a happier place where you can shine even more!! Take care!! 🙂



  • Darkness angel, I feel you are expending too much of your energy helping and thinking of others. This has left you drained and with not enough energy to change your own situation very much. Stop giving your all to everyone else for a while. Carers need to include themselves in their own care or things will become unbalanced. You need to pull in all your energy and focus it on yourself and your son so that you can bring about a better life for yourself. It doesn't help others if you deplete your energy. Devote all your time and efforts to yourself until you are in a better happier place. Please! The world can keep spinning for a little while without you. 🙂



  • Wishing you the best of luck, Darkness Angel! Prayers going out for your and your son to find a peaceful home!

    Blessings,

    Sacogirl



  • daisyfairy and Sacogirl, thank you both so much for your well wishes. Things looked a little flaky today for the new place, but I'm still keeping my chin up and hoping things will work out.

    Captain, I appreciate your sincere concern, you're so sweet and I wish I could just give you a hug in person for your thoughtfulness. But in reality, coming to this forum is good for me. I am expending a lot of energy every day trying to get help for my son and I, and I really do keep running up against brick walls. It happened again today. Even when I try different places that offer the same services, I run into brick walls. And because I tend to have an analytical, worrying mind, thanks to my Virgo side, if I don't try to take my mind off of my own troubles, I'll keep mulling things over in my head, trying to find other ways to get the help that I need.

    So I like to come here for the wonderful energy, the chat, and yes, even to help others because it all helps me to let go of my own troubles for a while so that I can stop dwelling on them, and then refocus later on. Besides, I really do like to help others, it's just a part of who I am. I like to give, and there are others who are worse off than I am. When I give hope to others, I can also see that there's hope for me, and can find strength in that to tackle my own issues day after day.

    It doesn't help me that I'm living with an energy vampire who sucks all the positive energy out of the house every day. This person is, unfortunately, family, who took us in when we had nowhere else to go. I really didn't want to do it, but had no choice at the time. I do appreciate that she's put a roof over our heads, but that's where it stops. I pay my own bills, buy my own food, take care of my son's needs, etc. I have tried helping her, too, but that stopped last month when she called the police and tried to lie to them to have me arrested because she got angry that I wouldn't give her gossip fodder about my life. She didn't call them to complain that I wouldn't let her intrude into my life, she called them to lie to them that I was being abusive to her and wanted me arrested. Yesterday, she worked her self up over something she thought I did, but didn't do, and while I was minding my own business watching tv, she came out of her bedroom and started screaming at me. Then she threatened to call the authorities and tell them that I was abusing her. Believe me, living with her is more than enough encouragement to keep me looking for a way to get my son and I out.



  • Darkness angel

    After reading the above, I've got nothing. I read it and just let out a big sigh. You're doing the best you can given the living situation and that's all you can do.

    TheCaptains' point is well taken. I can also see your point and the complete sincerity behind it. One part of what TheCap wrote, "You need to pull in all your energy and focus it on yourself and your son so that you can bring about a better life for yourself. " please look carefully at. Your energy is wonderful! But, it is still Your Energy leaving and being given to others. You need it now! Instead of doing for others >>>> Sit Still. Let silence fill you with Love to restore your energy.

    I said more than I wanted ..... I intended to stop by and say what an absolutely beautiful posting on hisbabloves' cousins thread. It would be a lovely reminder posted above the bed!

    I will continue to wish for a better tomorrow for you. And pls, don't feel its necessary to reply ... Just absorb the good stuff ! Let the rest float away ....



  • I suggest that we all send peace and calming vibes to the energy vampire relative who is causing DA so much trouble. Here is me pouring a bucket of metaphysical cold water over her hot head! Swoosh!



  • Sending Peace and Blessings your way 🙂 I heard "this too shall pass" the other day and thought I would try to remember it for those times that seem unbearable, easier said than done I know. Another one "fake it till you make it" may make more sense than it seems at first..being that energy is like a magnet, attracting like energy. I do think you have to go with what you are feeling and sometimes the best is a good cry and emotional tears release toxins along with them, tears from onions are just salt water.



  • Darkness angel

    I used to live with a violent person for over 13 years because I had no choice. I know what you went through. I survived all the abuse, almost died too. I only left this environment when I was 25, because I never had a good paying job and so I was stuck until I got married.

    Many times people relate karma to everything. which is not true. There is a reason for everything, and karma is only one among many. I believe there is a lesson in every event, no matter how small and meaningless the event is.

    By living in a violent environment I have learned many things. I learned about survivality, how to protect myself. I have become tougher and independent, no longer meek and shy little girl I was. I learned how to fight back and to fight smart. Most importantly, I learned about inner strength. The only one that can defeat you is self defeating attitude. You are your worst enemy and best friend. Anyone can put you down, betray you, steal from you, try to break you - but they can not take away who you are and what you stand for.

    This person you live with, is affecting you with her negativity. She is not violent physically, because you can file a police report if she does, so she attacks you spiritually instead with her negativity. I know quite a few tips to protect and cleanse negativity. I'd imagine a few of them can't be done until you have your own space, but try to do the ones that you can do regularly.



  • Here they are. I do them for 3 years and still do it. Pick what you can do regularly, within your means. because you don't have your own space right now, you may not be able to do them all since she will always get in the way. Try it for 2 months and see which one works which one doesn't. They all work for me, or else I won't do it for years. But to each their own.

    first. clean your environment

    use sage incense, lit one or two every day. take it to each room in your house, try to go around each room corner to corner. after all rooms are done, leave it by the door (one at front one at back) or you can leave one at any room you feel like it (not necessary but you can). I am told that sandalwood incense will do, if you can't find sage, but I never tried it myself or if I did, not for long and only if I'm running out of sage and waiting for more supply.

    second, clean your self from lingering negative energy. use the gems It's quartz crystal, clear (not colored). Clean them every day, with salt under running water. no need to use handful of salt, just enough amount and no need to rub the crystals aggressively. You only clean the surface, so just a quick rub will do. tap water is fine, if you can't find fresh water, it has to be running that's all. then let the crystals air dry. when they are dry, blow your breath onto each corner of the gems. this way gems will work for you. when you blow your breath, pour your lingering sadness/worry/despair/anger onto the gems. Energize the gem as often as you can. find a place where the sun light can reach it and leave it there for two hours at least. The sun, like fire, is a great transformer. it will neutralize negative energy in the crystal.

    third protect yourself at all times. visualize white/blue light around you, hold on to this visualization when communicating with people, whether by phone, email or in person. the light will return negative energy back to sender and allow positive in. this way no more negative energy can attack you, and gives you time to work on the gems to neutralize negative energy that has been lingering around you for some time. don't share your gem with others, keep it safe. don't even let them touch it. the gem will absorb negativity you pour onto it and transform it, if the other person touch it when it is working, they will be hurt.

    Four, understand the concept of energy. we all live under the same universal law. what we send out will be returned to us. we all make mistakes. what you have to do is look back to the past, make assessment about yourself, be honest about the rights or wrongs you have done to anybody including yourself. learn from them and close the door to the past. make amends when necessary or possible. we all have been wrong before and to certain point, have sent out negativities towards someone no matter how small we thought it was. the more negativities we send out the more we get them back. so we suffer from our own negativities and negativities that others send us (which the universe will send back to them, but nonetheless they do hurt us). some energy can linger for years, depends on the intensity and the frequency it is sent. start to live your life in positivity from now on. refrain from dwelling in the past, anger, sadness, jealousy, wishing bad things happen to someone, despair, regret, revenge etc. revenge belongs to the universe. you don't have to pretend or fake a smile when someone wrongs you, lies, pretentious, denials are negativity. you can however, say, 'I am human being. you don't need to do this to me' or ignore them and move on. let the universe do what it always does.

    Five, Live your life in balance. nurture your physical and psyche. with the physical, you know you can go with balanced diet and routine exercise. do the same with the psyche. the psyche is link to the universe guidance, don't ignore it. you can find free yoga./meditation videos online. or go with your beliefs. read spiritual books that interest you, they are chicken soups for the soul.

    To calm you down, get Bach Flower Rescue remedy. any homeopathy store has it. you can also calm yourself down by saying This Too shall pass, repeatedly until you regain comfort. this also works when you start feeling down and negative energy tries to drain you or someone's action makes you want to send negativity towards them.

    Use affirmations, say it any time you want, out loud or in mind. Something like "I am positive. I will stay positive. I am protected. The universe will provide me all the help I need" or make your own. This is called reprogramming you, pretty much taking you to calm state and help you focus on the work you are doing. Don't fret if you feel down or fail, stand back up and try again. The affirmations need to include the request for universe help, for the universe help is the best support we can get.

    I know it's long, but I'm sure you can do a few of them at least. I hope things turn out better for you, with finding your own space. It will be easier for sure in your own space. Take care.