What can I person do when you tire of making lemonade out of the lemons in life?

  • Hello Captain,

    Here's a brief overview of what has happened in the last year, I am hoping this year will be better than last! Last summer my husband left me and our four children. This was after I caught him in a friendship with perks (nod nod wink wink), this was the fifth time and the last time I swore to myself and our kids. So, I enrolled in university took a few courses and had to withdraw due to insufficient funding (with the understanding and blessing of my instructors and admissions officer). All this while I had been also focussing on looking for work so that I would not have to rely on my seperated husband. It's been about 8 months since he's moved out and we couldn't be happier, except when he comes around and the kids get very upset. He doesn't treat my oldest daughter very well and I don't approve of it. He is convinced that he will be moving home before Christmas 2010 and we'll be a 'happy' family again. I have been focussing on the positive such as returning to riding and my barn buddies are patiently waiting (and have been for quite sometime). I want to return to riding and finish what I had started with that...but aside from that I want to be successful and I was wondering what 2010 had in store for me, much less my life in general. I want to know if I will be successful in my return to riding and I want to know if I will make it with or with out a partner...and at this rate...thanks to my 'loving' husband...I really don't care if I find any mate. I know better than to paint everyone with the same brush so to speak...but I can guarantee that for what I have been through with this one...I really don't want to find out what another can or will do that will send me in a tail spin I would never be able to stop. Also, I attended an amazing seminar yesterday that I was thinking of joining full time. I am wondering if I am wasting my time with that or would I be a fool not to...it's about working with real estate. If you could give me some guidance about the path that I have chosen. I can see the goal at the end of the path but sometimes the hills and obstacles that seem to get in the way are making it seem like the goals are moving away from me instead of coming to me. With each delay and obstacle, it's like my goals are not going away...they are just delayed. Thus, I really am getting tired of making a lot of lemonade out of all these lemons...is there another use for the lemons? Thanks for your time!

  • Angels5, you need to toughen up a bit in your realtionships - you can be a bit too timid or overlooking faults for the sake of peace when it comes to your mate. You need to expect better behaviour and treatment from them. Whatever the future holds for any of us depends on our attitudes. If you expect more pain, that's what you will get. If you expect success, that's what you will get. The future is for your own shaping.

    With you, I feel you do not have the ruthlessness or dishonesty to be selling real estate for someone else. You do have the ability to buy a property yourself or with friends, get it fixed up, then sell it for a profit. I feel you have a keen instinct when it comes to assessing property.

    It's good that you can see the goal but I feel it needs a slight adjustment or tweaking.

    Trust that things are going to get better - and they will. At the moment, you have a negative 'what's-the-use?' attitude that will not help you. Change your attitude, change your life.

  • Thank you for that slight adjustment to the 'fuzzy' picture. I guess for lack of better words, I feel lost not so much 'what's the use'. I feel like 'where do I begin so I can get life going on a better note?' As for being timid, you're right...I am a bit timid of him. Lately, not so much. But I feel like I need to wait just the bit longer before cutting the threads to my husband. I don't know why...just gut instinct; definately not an out right I am going to wet my pants fear of him. I guess the best way to explain it is that I feel like it's got something to do with timing with something...what or why I do not know. That's why I came to you hoping that you would give me some sort of insight (if it had to do with riding, schooling, work or just goals in general). That's also why I told you everything that has been on the go or happening as it has happened. But the one thing that makes me scratch my head, is this whole situation around my husband. Yes, I am tired of the grief, the fights with him, the way he treats us in general - we all are. However...and it's not out of love...something is making me wait this out a little bit longer, I don't know why or what for and I have to admit that I am very frustrated because of all of this. It's just my instincts are standing their ground when it comes to this. There is nothing better that I would love to do than to move on in life and have a fulfilling, successful life for my kids to thrive on. Do you honestly feel that I would make it in real estate flipping properties (be successful)? At this point, I really do feel like I do need direction on whether I need to go ahead with that endeavor or not. I am fence sitting because to me, the pros and cons weigh considerably close on that one. I greatly appreciate your help.

  • Actually whatever you do, I feel it must be for the benefit of others, so the riding would be out. The schooling would have to lead to a result that would be of benefit to many. I feel any selfishness on your part regarding career will backfire. You must be of service at this time.

    I feel you are holding onto to your husband as you wait for more security to come along. You are clinging to the 'sinking ship' in the hopes of seeing a life raft come drfiting along. But I feel you may just have to leap into the sea before you are dragged down with the sinking ship.

  • I am getting books for you so the study looks promising. I feel you don't not have enough knowledge yet to get a career going.

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