Can anyone give me some insight, please?
Today my usual optimistic self is veiled by a very dark cloud. Day started early, as usual. Started working, whch I thoroughly enjoy. Then the thoughts crept in of my ex-husband Joe. It seemed every song on the radio reminded me of him. Now although this once, loving, passionate man and I had a good marriage for a while, he turned quite evil. He even tried to make me believe he was dying from cancer. I endured mental and physical abuse. I, of course left. The house evenually foreclosed (note in my name, deed in both...I was stuck). I guess my blue mood is stemming from my impending divorce on Feb 18. I feel anxious about seeing him. Will I see the "true" him or will I see my old knight in shining armor? I truely loved him and do miss being married...part of a greater whole. To make matters worse....I just broke in my old house (it is empty and I know a way to get in...didnt really "break" in). I looked around and everything I had done was undone and the place looked so sterile and bland. When the tears started, I got out of there. I feel as if I have lost everything and dont want to lose in the divorce. Can anyone please give me an insight of what the future holds? I dont really understand what all this extreme emotion is all about. I am usually so level.
So sorry, Gailjar to hear of your suffering. There's no wonder you're having extreme emotion, it's completely normal after what you've been through. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're are human. You are in pain. Sometimes we have to have a good cry at the ending of something. The floodgates open and the pain is released. I've had deep pain in my life and working kept me sane, it was normal and it was good to have the routine. I see from your post that you work and you are thoroughly enjoying it. A massive bonus in your situation. It will keep you focused. I am relieved that you work and it can help you work through your pain. Do you have good friends and family for support?
I am sorry to say, but it sounds like you are well rid of this man. He is not good for you. So sad to hear that he was once loving and passionate and you did have a good mariage for a while but it changed, he became evil. What makes someone pretend to be dying from cancer?? Unbelievable! That is enough, quite apart from the mental and physical abuse.
Time as I always say will help to heal the pain. It will become more distant and you can move onwards and upwards in your life. This is only the beginning of a brand new start but your life will get better with hope and positivity. We have to go through deep pain to appreciate the good in our lives and this situation is so bad for you with this man. Think of your divorce date as a brand new you, a fresh start.
There are some very loving, very giving people on this site who, I hope will give you more insight as to the future. I wish I could help and read cards, or 'see' things but unfortunately I can't! I would if I could.
Rest assured people will read your post and want to help. You take care and look forward to the future, who knows what or who is waiting to meet you. You deserve a lovely and happy life. Move ahead and grab it!
Sending you healing hugs and wishing you a happy birthday even though the sun isn't shining for you today.
take care of yourself.
Intrigued I am thinking about you.
Thank you for the kind words of encouragment. I am starting to heal ...slowly, but there is progress. I will turn this around and instead think of Feb 18th as my new beginning!
Dont apologize about not being able to "see" or read the cards....the truth is already there and very plain to see. I dont think anyone needs special abilities to see this situation for what it is.
Thank you again for responding with your encouraging words...they are appreciated more than you can imagine!
Hello there Gailjar, so lovely to hear from you. You have to give yourself so much time to heal, it will be a slow process. To start with you'll have more bad days than good days. In time though, your good days will overtake the bad. You probably won't even notice!
I am so pleased to hear that you're now thinking of Feb 18th as your new beginning. That is such a positive way of looking at this date. Start afresh, turn over the page. Your new life is awaiting you. There must be a loving man out there just waiting for you, who is just right, in time. You'll meet him when you least expect it. Please take your time though, you have suffered. Don't just jump in with anyone, choose wisely and carefully. The number one priority is to get you back on top, feeling confident and self assured and happy. Then the good things will come to you. Give out good vibes! What you give out, you get back. Stay positive and keep on track. Take pleasure from the small things in life, birds, people around you, chocolate cake. Start small!
I am so glad to hear that my message has given you encouragement. Go out and enjoy your brand new start and I'm sure in time you will be so very happy.