Pushed CANCER man away. Will he come back?

  • A while back I met a recently-divorced Cancer man online. I got cold feet about meeting him (he lives with other guys and I felt uncomfortable about going there---which was the plan since he's about an hour away from me and he wanted me to spend the weekend where he lives), so I disappeared for the next eight months. Then I got back in touch with him and, to my surprise, he was excited to hear from me (called me first thing in the morning following an email I sent, which included my number). We chatted and texted often, and he said he wanted to meet me right away (we weren't supposed to meet until that coming weekend). We got along well together, although he seemed grumpy at first, until we started talking over dinner. He said I should call him anytime I wanted to talk, but I noticed he doesn't call much, so I decided it wasn't a good idea to call him often, either.

    After a few weeks (after we had been intimate), he started saying he wants to keep this relationship a "mutual benefits" kind of thing. I told him I do not want that and there was no debate over the topic. We continued to text/chat (rarely call) on a daily basis but agreed to hold off meeting up again until after his two-week trip to his home country (note: his ex wife lives here, but his parents are still back in his home country).

    During his trip we emailed almost every day. I told him I missed him and he said he's never seen me as anything except a good friend. When he returned, he texted me the whole day from work saying how much he wants to see me. That night, we were still texting and he asked me if I'm seeing anyone (and that he isn't seeing anyone). I asked him if he's open to meeting new people and he said "I only want you". So we start hanging out again, until my birthday came around. He texted me that morning to ask if I wanted him to come by after work. I knew he was sick, so I told him, rather than driving an hour each way, to just get some rest instead (but really I was a little disappointed that he didn't offer to take me out somewhere). That night, we chatted online, and he "fell asleep" on me during our chat; his responses became slower and slower. Eventually he logged off without saying goodnight, which was the first time that ever happened. He called me the next day to ask how I spent my birthday. I thought it was strange since I already told him I hadn't had any real plans and plus he never calls me out of the blue like that.

    Well, a few days later, I noticed he'd put an ad online (in the romance section) looking for "friends", specifying he didn't want romance or hookups, just "friends" to do all sorts of activities that he had never even taken me to do. I didn't flare up or anything, since we were not committed, but I did leave him a nice message wishing him luck on his ad. The next morning he called me to complain about his life (although he has a good life, in terms of work and people who care about him) and that he didn't have anything better to do than post the ad, which he took down on his own accord. We texted only once later that day, and the next few days were dry communication as well.

    There were some things in the ad that really hurt my feelings (which he insisted were pretty much b/s for the most part), so I texted him earlier today and said I will not be staying in touch with him and asked him not to message me back (because I didn't want him to have the last word and say something that would get me in knots). So that's where things are right now.

    From anyone's experience, do you think he will contact me again, or have I pushed him away indefinitely? Thanks.

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  • Justavapor trust me llindiloo is now an expert in this field lol. she has been there and her thread is so full of good advice. Llindielo and I both, have experience with Cancer men in our lives. I took back mine after a really heartwrenching experience and have been dating now for 9 months buT I too have now fallen prey to cancer . Becaz he is doing the same thing to me like u , the email and calls are getting lesser and shorter, meaning he may not want to be in it no more and dont have the balls to tell me. Trust me u will hear from him again, but for me I have I promise myself that If I dont hear form my cancer in a week he better not ever contact me again, unless we are having an argument. If he can forget me in a week , he better forget me forver, I have brothers and Ive seen too many times they pop in and out of womens lives. If he comes back and I feel like it, then we can be frien,ds that is if i dont like him no more. But if I have feelings for him still I cannot be firends with him. I cannot so that. But you dceide what is good for you at this time. I didnt follow the advice of people on the board becaz my heart was not strong enuff to. But If I had done that it would have saved me plenty. lol. But I just couldnt. i was not ready to let go and to me. I feel better now, now im ready to let go becaz I feel stornger to. he can get his ass out of my life now. I AM STRONG. AND I CAN DO IT. lol. You can too but at ur own pace ok. and when u feel like ok.

  • well i have a cancer man in my life to i have been threw so many thing with that guy you cant even imagine we broken up about a million times i got pregnant and seperated before we had our son...and tryed it once more two years later..he tells me everytime he loves me and im the only one in his life...cancer peopple are caring people...but if they dont want you they really wont call you..the best bet for you to do is keep moving this guy will keep coming in and out of your life allot it will get annoying i wish i had never met this guy..allot of eemotional stress i dont need. .....a friens elitania castellanos

  • Hello everyone i've been coming on here for a while and decided to sign up to get some advice seeing that im going through the same thing with my cancer friend. ok here's the situation him and i had been dealing with each other for over a year then out of the blue in december I get a message from him telling me he think he found his soul mate. it broke my heart, but here's the thing, he continues to come over to my house everyday. i don't know what to do. he tells he he don't feel right. can somebody give me some advice to help me decide what to do about him.

  • Dorluv. Long time no see , how are you ? Sorry to hear things are not going to well with your guy . I see you to have become stronger though , but isen't it so hard to let go ? Yes You can do it , If I can , then so can you , well done girl . My thread is still going even though I'm not involved with anyone at the moment , but I like chatting to the lovely people on there and Sandran712 has a new interest in her life at the moment , Pop over some time and say Hello it would be so nice to see you xoxox

  • cancers are mental distrustin manipulative liers that just love the attention they get from it all

  • That's not true. There is no negative trait that one sign demonstrates collectively. Cancers are loving, family centered, faithful, and loyal. If the ones you are picking are not, then it's because something is wrong with how you are going about chosing your mates!!! Think about it. To say that everbody that was born from June 21 - July 22 are "mental distrusting manipulative liers" is not only untrue, it's just plan stupid. Don't get so hung up on astrology that you miss the obvious. These men you are meeting are DISFUNCTIONAL PEOPLE period. You find them in every sign.

    What you need to do is ask yourself why are they landing on your doorstep. What are you putting out in the universe that is attracting this scum. Must be something. There are a lot of cancers and a lot of happy women that are married to cancers let's see: Bill Crosby, Mel Brooks, Ernest Hemingway, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Robin Williams, Meryl Streep, Jamie Farr, Merv Griffin, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Arthur Ashe, Henry Thoreau, Richard Simmons, Harrison Ford, John Glen, Cat Stevens to name a few.

  • lawdawg ....I agree NOT all cancers are bad , my guy was so caring ,loveable and sincere at the we were together, and only for his parents arranging a marriage for him I feel we would still be together , but I do understand the culture side of it , the last time I spoke to hin back in October He said "I love you and never forget it " That was while he was back home in India . Not a word since, no goodbye's or explaination Just cut me off completely . Sent him a couple of messages with no reply . So now I am trying to move on with my life.. Yet I do miss him terribly . Miss chatting to him, text messages throughout the day and night , but life goes on . Maby one day he will contact me and explain .

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  • From anyone's experience, do you think he will contact me again, or have I pushed him away indefinitely? Thanks.

    Sandran712>>OMG.. Not another Cappy with a Cancer....LOL.I am a Cancer female.

    First..This guy just got divorced.So the reason for the mood swings..He's not ready to commit.And..I'd becareful.Just because he got divorced.Cancer has a tendency to go backwards.They like to go back in the past and relive relationships.Proof here..I been emailing someone from 35 years ago.That is how far back we can go..LOL...I think it's not good to get hooked up with a divorced person.I been emailing this guy(Taurus) that is divorced.And I am feeling negative vibrations after a week of emails.Cancers go back and forth between partners.I have a Cancer Classmate been divorced.And doesn't have the audacity to tell me he's divorced.I mean...What the hel*l is the big deal.I haven't heard from him in almost 3 weeks.I am just not compatible with a Cancer male.

  • koolness>>cancer peopple are caring people...but if they dont want you they really wont call you..

    Sandran712>>That is totally not true.Because...We just get so busy.We are in high demand with our time.We are good listeners.We drop things to help others.I have to keep apologizing to my friends because I don't want them feeling I don't care.

  • lawdog>>There is no negative trait that one sign demonstrates collectively. Cancers are loving, family centered, faithful, and loyal. If the ones you are picking are not, then it's because something is wrong with how you are going about chosing your mates!!!

    Sandran>>For one we all need to make a pact..To stay the Friggin' Hel*l away from a Cancer that you Meet Online..Except keldjoran the Cancer Male expert of the board.And I'm the Cancer female expert on the board...LOL.Reason for it is.....Cancer's cannot handle long distance relationships.If we are online.. we are hurting and hiding.Cancer's escape their problems by getting on the computer.and if they fall for anyone.. the other person gets hurt.Cancer's can have alot of mood swings and we become bipolar..LOL.We are very emotional people and are family oriented.If there is no immediate family like children.The family can fall into other family members.

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  • justavapor>>his major tendency to gossip and complain and the fact that his life and finances were all messed up, despite his salary and age. This was not attractive for me

    Sandran712>>This is weird because..As much as we complain.brood etc.I do not know much Cancer's that gossip.We may tell others we trust with what we heard.We keep this to ourselves.Cancers are good listeners.My mom is a Capricorn.We are very close.But this Capricorn male used to be my boyfriend when I was 16 years old.He moved away for like 25-30 years ago..married..divorced and moved 10 miles down the road.I miss him..I just do not understand him.I can't have a conversation.When we were 16.Same thing..short lived.hung around and he's gone.I keep thinking it's all me.Emailed a Cancer..He's gone 2 weeks now.Email a Taurus for a week and doesn't tell me he has a girlfriend.I mean..am I like..getting punished or something..?The Taurus.. I sensed something wrong from the get go.I just could not put my finger on it.A week is all it took.My intuition keeps getting in the way.

  • Where do you come up with this baloney. Any sign in the zodiac can hide on-line when hurt. Cancer are not special when it come to behaving badly when hurt. You guys are hung up on cancers because you want something from them that they refuse to give you. Get over it. and move on.

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  • lawdawg>>Cancer are not special when it come to behaving badly when hurt

    Sandran712>>We are Too special! And don't you forget it!..LOL

  • lawdog>>Where do you come up with this baloney

    Sandran712>>Out of the refrigerator..I was hungry and wanted a sandwich..LOL

  • justavapor>>his birthday was July 3rd, so def a Cancer.

    Sandran712>>It is a sign thing.Because I do not handle Cancers with birthday before the 12th.The one I been emailing is 17th.So I am not sure what the hel*l he's acting like.

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