What vibes do you give out?
LostLeo, you are waiting for this girl to care more for you than for her career and I don't feel that happening for a very long time. Does she know how you feel about her?
oh, captain. i have had second mutual friend of mr. aquarius tell me that he has been talking about getting engaged to that girl. (the one that no one likes...) as much as i am amused by this news (i keep remembering what you told me in the photo readings thread about he will have a long string of broken relationships before he looks in the mirror and takes a long look at himself...) but i am also too bothered to sleep. i can only assume this has something to do with the dreams i have been having where i am yelling at him what i think about/feel about him. don't get me wrong, i realize good and well why it didn't work and it wouldn't work. but it still bugs me so bad i can't stand it....that boy hurt me more than anyone ever has in my life and for that reason i have not been able to trust anyone else enough to get close to them. fun stuff...not. help me sleep! lol
oh and my best friend of 20 years and current roommate made up. we have decided to stick out the lease and then do our separate things. i guess it is time. that was the most epic fight we have ever had. the stress of that along with everything else got to me, but i have honestly been through worse. thanks for the advice earlier, it def. helped.
i forgot to mention the fact they haven't even been dating for 6 months. at our 6 month point he broke up with me, after a couple months came back telling me he had made a huuuge mistake, after another happy 6 months it just ended. badly. a whole 3 weeks after he told me he was in love with me (i was the first to hear those words...) some days i am at peace with it. some days i hate him for how he treated me, etc....it was not nicely. and until he announced the new relationship for the world continued to string me along. the boy who was at one point my best friend has been long gone, i guess i am still trying to understand why. although i never will.
I know it's not going to be a short term waiting.
At the very least, it will be a yr or even 5 yrs or more, I know she'll need to focus on her career now, but I really do love her, I haven't feel this strong towards any gals in my entire life thus far.
She told me she hasn't dated anyone before me for almost a yr.
She knows that I love her, but she doesn't know that I want to wait for her.
I know she's not dating anyone now.
This is part of the email that she worte to me when she cuts me off in Dec.
"To someone else, your sentiments would be so sweet and like a comfortable blanket to curl up in, but to me it is smothering. This is nothing against you; it is the mode I currently need to be in at the moment. I know you can't possibly know exactly what I am feeling, but the best I can say is that I cannot focus on a relationship. Just thinking of it makes me feel overwhelmed. My actions will always seem selfish and self-serving, because I have little energy outside of my work and personal time. Therefore, it would not be fair (I would not be comfortable) to "get serious" with someone."
Can you pick up any vibe from this?
I don't mind she care about her work more than me, I just don't want her to totally cut me off from her life, at least with some sort of connection going, we can still re-connect when the time is right.
hi Captain, what vibes are you getting from me?
Captain- Can you read auras? Is that in the vibe you pick up? I've always wondered what color my aura is!
MELinSC, I think your sleep is being disturbed by your own feelings of hurt and lowered self-value after your failed relationship than by thoughts of the man involved. You are the one who is torturing yourself, not him. You need to forgive yourself and heal your battered self-esteem and trust.
LostLeo, I think you are getting carried away by unrealistic dreams. It may seem romantic to say you will wait for as long as it takes, but in reality each long day of the many years will be agony. You haven't told her you will wait precisely because she has already told you that you are smothering her. I'm sorry but I feel she will become involved with someone from her workplace soon (If it hasn't already happened). She doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for her, although she is grateful for your support. Your waiting will be for nothing. This is the point where you must both start to move away from each other.
There is never just one "Mr or Ms Right" for any person on this earth.
Scorpiofalling, you have a great energy but there is also a feeling of loneliness or isolation around you, as if you are not comfortable with others or even with yourself. You have a fear of being drained or ripped off by other people. Yet you do care a lot about others and want to help the less fortunate of society. You need to find the peace and privacy to cultivate introspection in order to understand yourself - and thus other people and life - better, even if it is not easy.
You can dream big dreams and have a talent for tearing down old systems. Philosophical and with a great sense of humour, you can go far as long as you don't lose the capacity to step back and laugh at yourself. It's good to deflate the ego from time to time. You like your creature comforts and feel that material security will bring you stability, so don't be ashamed of wanting the money to provide it. Just make sure your actions are fair and ethical to all and that you share your good fortune. And know that inner stability comes from self-love and self-respect and cannot be provided by material possessions.
AngelaVictoria, no I don't see auras - I pick up the feelings given off by a person or animal or if it is a object then the emotions associated with it.
Smothering, I'm still trying to ask myself, am I really smothering her, I only get to see her at most once a wk for a couple hours, sometimes even once every two wks, because of her work schedule.
Most of the time, I don't txt /email her until she contact me, and usually I'll try to keep the email/ txt brief, mostly on how our days been and plans for upcoming dates.
It is this line, which makes me feel strongly that she's pushing me away because of her career. We were still cuddling and kissing the last time we met, a couple days before she send me this email to cut me off.
"It is the mode I currently need to be in at the moment. I know you can't possibly know exactly what I am feeling, but the best I can say is that I cannot focus on a relationship"
Of course I might be totally wrong, I guess I can only go with my gut and give myself a last chance in June.
Anyway, Thanks for the reading.
LostLeo, it's not how much time you spend together but how you behave when you ARE together that makes your friend feel you are smothering her. It's your feelings she is going on. And nobody spends every waking moment on their work - if she wanted to be with you, she would make more time. She is just trying to avoid telling you (and maybe facing it herself) the harsh truth.
Unfortunately, that was my thinking at the beginning of the connection, and it was one of my mistake.
I had the same thinking, one can never spend that much time working, until I did a web research on her field. Most people work 10+ hr, beginner, like her has to work 12+ hours a day, and since she's working on a very time sensitive project, she sometimes work 16+ hrs and on weekend too.
Also she has to meet with other researcher after work to compare data, plus she has to go out of town alot. I known her since Aug, and she already travel domestically 5 times and once to Asia, and another 2 times in this month.
I don't expect her to spend every free moment with me, she did try to include me in some of the events that she's attending, but sometimes I can't make it due to my own schedule.
That's why we don't get to see each other a lot.
I know whatever I said will sound like I'm giving myself a crazy excuse.
I'm prepared the contact in June (a brief happy b-day greeting txt/email) might not turn out the way I wanted, and I will have my heart completely shattered once again.
But without doing it, I will always have a "what if" stuck in my head.
Thank you very much for your advise and I really appreciate that.
Captain, thats definately accurate.
you must have an interesting time reading books, constantly picking up the author's different vibes from page to page. id imagine it would also make knowing when someone is lying alot easier. random question, does picking up vibes from animals and their meat make you feel compelled to be vegetarian?
I wish you all the best for your future, LostLeo.
yes, captain. i suppose you are right. the feeling of being backed into a corner while my world crashes down over my head has certainly not helped...trying to stay positive but damn it gets hard
Scorpiofalling, all of life is much more interesting when you turn up your awareness. But there can also be too much of a good thing which is why I don't like to be in a crowd. Sensory overload! I cannot go into a butcher's shop because the vibes from the meat are so dreadful and overwhelming. I hardly eat any meat, except when I need grounding and then only white meat. If people could only feel what they are putting into their bodies! I was a complete vegetarian for several years until I got to a point where my spirit wouldn't stay in my body. So I now eat a little chicken or fish every now and again to earth myself.
I would appreciate some insight into what vibes I am currently giving out please? Thank you!
I would also be interested in what you feel I'm putting out there, Captain. Thanks in advance!
TheTransformed, I am seeing an image of you on a stage with a lot of crashing lightning and storm sounds and scenes about. Is there a lot of drama or doom and gloom in your life at present? You look fed up and you put up your umbrella with a very long-suffering look on your face as if to say "Here I go again!" A giggling young man stands in the wings pressing buttons and causing all the special effects of the storm that is raging around you.