How can this be?
I have been on the tarot forum for a while and hanswolfgang has been very helpful, telling me what he sees and reminding me to stay present...and I don't want to downplay how good that has been. But today I had some news (not good news) and wondered if anyone or their guides had anything to tell me?
Some background: my husband's work has been taken over and some of the staff are potentially being offered relocation packages. It's not commutable. I work part time but it is a good job, pays ok and I have reasonable prospects and am happy and feel I can do some good in the world. But if we accept an offer for relocation (not that we've been offered it yet) the home setup will change. One of us will have to live away for at least part of the week and the other will have responsibility for the children, one of whom is pretty settled where we are, the other not so much. Or we stay, try to live on my salary and see work what he can get in the current climate.
But my husband interviewed for an acting supervisor's job today, a job he has been doing de facto for no extra money for a while while his boss works on the relocation plan. The other guy interviewing - well I won't go into the reasons he is unsuitable for the job, but they are legion. But he had superiority in other areas and got offered the job. I am literally in shock and we just don't know what we even feel about the future, let alone what it might hold.
Maybe I should add that my daughter is quite talented and is doing well in her chosen training and i worry about moving her.
Maybe this is actually just a rant. I cannot believe that after all the goodwill and effort my husband has put in - he truly is a good person regardless of his scorpio secrecy!! - he has not been recognised and has been passed over. I feel so bad for him. I feel like there is no god and no reward for goodness. The more I see of life the harder it is for me to believe in any order in the universe. I just want to cry and I feel hopeless.
Believe me I know this sounds small compared to many people's problems and I am not trying to be a drama queen. But actually the knowledge of good other people's problems all over the world makes me feel raw and porous and makes this feeling worse.
Rant over. Please let me know if anyone has anything to offer.
If you are following your mind, you will rush headlong in the wrong direction.
You are too conscious of time; hence you are in a hurry.
Hanswolfgang, you are good to me.
Is anger in the mind, or in the body? Do you think all anger is really fear? I was angry yesterday and thinking too much (was careful not to do anything) but the anger came from feeling so hurt for him.
Ok, you are right (again). Just sit with the hurt, right?
anger is neither in the mind nor in the body.
Do I think all anger is really fear? No.
Just sit with the hurt, right? Yes, right.
Even to meditate is a hope, a desire. If you are really discouraged, perfectly good. Just drop all meditations and live moment to moment.
This is just exactly what I need to hear (especially when what I WANT to hear is, "hey, this is all fixed and your life is perfect now...")!!
Just, you get these times in your life when choices have to be made, and all choices seem to entail some kind of hope and a projection rather than just "facts" - whatever they are, and one never knows all ther is to know anyway...
You know, I used to be much better at this. I am so grateful to you for reminding me that this is the only approach that can work for me
Thank you x