Fighting hard to stay afloat.....
What a great site! I'm reading all these stories and i feel so much compassion for everyone and comfort in knowing that I am definetly not alone. I could use a little life support, readings, spiritual guidance, positive energy..something..if anyone out there is kind enough to take the time out for me. i would be very appreciative.
I work in a profession in which I help people all day long with their lives, it is rewarding, I love it and I am good at it. Im very intuitive and that helps me so much in what I do. But it is exhausting at times and leaves me without an outlet.
My husband has been out of work for over three years. He's now working in a job that pays less that$10.00 an hour. He has completely drained all of his assests..he's 59 yrs old and a 24 year old daughter that has been instrumental in breaking up our marriage (we"ve both been married before).
He has shrunken before my eyes, from a strong, proud, confident man to one who is beaten down and hopeless. I saw it coming, I tried everything I could to help giude him and encourage him. He's a proud ,stubborn man, always been rather rigid in his thinking. Never supported me when it came to his daughter, she was always right. He expected me to be loyal to him when my children were involved however..
It's all very sad. He's a good man..just a bit misguided..I wish him well. We are in the process of selling our home in a terrible economy ( his daughter is back living with us until we get the house sold. Then she will move in with him afterwards.
All of this has taken its toll. Coming home to negativity, dealing with it all day. I guess I have let my business slip and have not been going after monies due to me. My own financial position has become beyond precarious.
I went back to school as a single mom with two young babies, worked went to school on full scholarship, had no car, took buses, very little help from anyone. I was raised in a violent abusive alcoholic home ( wonderful mom, dad not so much). I feel that after all that, here I am 53 years old..starting over again so deeply in debt. trying to find the motivation to get out of bed every day and be strong for everyone else.
In addition, an old friend that told me he has been in love with me for over thirty years, came back into my life and has been a great source of strenghth and friendship to me, but after months of thinking that this is what the universe had intended..I realize that that will not likely occur for many reasons.
Finally, this past Christmas I was unable to afford any christmas presents for my kids..( first time ever) I also told my daughter that I couldnt afford her college tuition, rent, etc any longer. We had a terrible fight and she basicall told me that I was not strong and that I never should have had children, which has devasted me. My children have been everything to me. I didnt date for six years after their dad and I broke up and I did not remarry for twelve years. I gave so much love to her. I need a litte encouragement, direction...where do I go next in this journey? I wish this awful feeling of heaviness and sadness would leave..and I am trying to keep my husbands spirits up, because he's in worse shape than me, lol!...Thanks for any help that you can provide, K.
To start with - HUGE HUGS for you (figured you needed one)
I am a single mother of 3 girls. Left my marriage 6 years ago, had a 3 year engagement that ended easter last year that basically had problems from the start with his ex who was "nuts" and her influence over his daughters to manipulate our relationship. We lost a child during that time, but I saw all these "tests" as a way to make us stronger together. In the end, it was what caused the distance to end the engagement.
It is so very hard trying to blend families. I can relate to the "my kids can do no wrong, but please discipline yours". His girls wouldn't speak to me while in my house for hte weekend, but when I spoke to him about it, I had obviously misread the situation. But should my girls not speak to him, it was expected that I would speak to mine about being disrespectful.
As much as it sounds easy for me to say hang in there, do hang in there. Christmas this year was tough on so many of us, and was a christmas that I have never had to make such sacrifices ever before like I did this one. I am huge on for Christmas and always go over the top, but hoped my kids didn't hate "Santa" too much for the meager gifts they got.
Be proud of the fact you have been able to keep the family unit together for as long as you have. Us women can do amazing things when we have to without realising what huge achievements we do on a daily basis until someone points it out to us. Be proud of the fact that you get out of bed each day and do what needs to be done. You have such inner strength that while I don't know you, can see with what you have said. Do not beat yourself up for circumstances beyond your own control.
Take each day as it comes and don't berate yourself for not making everything "better" overnight. It will take all involved to make the changes to bring things around. I unfortunately have no abilities with doing readings but have been trained in reiki so would love to offer yourself and your husband a healing.
If you would like to email yours and your husbands name to me a that way I can help you out with that.
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I am 53 years old too and have been married young and divorced young and struggle yet to this day about everything...with my kids and how they turn out and what not...
so you are not alone
i loved your post, you told everything as it is.
just know there are others out there that are like you
you are never alone
Heartfelt thanks...seriously..xxooo kittybonne
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This post is deleted!