Is my gemini man over or having a mood swing
I have been dating a gemini man for 4 months. After the first month he stated he only wanted us to date each other. Alghough we live an hour away we sere seeing each other alot. A day did not go by without text messages, etc. At times he would kinda appear not to trust me, but always said he was joking. He would get all bent out of shape if I did not respond quick enough or was not giving him enough attention. When we went out on new years he said a couple of times that he was not good boyfriend material. 2 weeks ago we had kinda of a spat because i was kinda going through some things. He said that things were a little strange, but it would pass and he was not going anywhere. During the week he would text me. said he missed me and wanted to see me. Then all of the sudden over the past several days, he started to not respond to my texts or it would take hours before he would. He woud be real short, etc. He said that nothing had changed but that now it was difficult for us to see each other and he could not give me that time or attention I deserved. He was in fender bender around this time. He told me he likes me alot and loves to see me, but he cannot see me as often as I would like. He texted me and asked me to come over and watch the game with on sunday. I said to let me know that morning b/c he plays golf every sunday if it was still on. called late sat night around midnight but left no mssg. no text from his at all on sunday so around 830 I texted him and asked him why he blew me off with no text or anything and all he said was he had a bad day. played golf but had a bad day. I asked him what he wanted when he called and he said nothing. I am so confused. Any advice on what I should do?
Whew... Ok I will give this one a shot.
I am a Gemini female, so while I have SOME similarities with Gemini males, we are inherently different due to gender. I can at the very least explain how we think.
First thing I would do is stop texting. If your Gemini is getting the feeling of being bogged down (stressed at work, money is tight, fender bender, etc.) they will NOT respond properly to other people's feelings, more specifically their needs.
Yes, it was wrong of him to ignore you, but his backing away, seeming distant, is one way Gemini's cope. One of the bigger issues with Gemini's is a fear of commitment. This can be for most any kind of commitment. A date, a test, a relationship, work day etc. If there head isn't in it 100% they tend to avoid or half-cheek the situation. Think of it as social procrastination.
With the regards to the possible trust issues. I got nothing. That could be more on a personal front. The thing about all of the signs is we are more than just our sun sign. If you can find out his moon and rising signs, you can have more of an insight to why he acts the way he does.
I would say this would be a mood swing vs. him being over it, at least for now. If you can hold off, focus on something else in your life then he will come back around to you. Gemini's do not like to be pushed or nagged or pressured and even though you were BOTH texting all the time, it could be that during his mood swing a single text from you just saying "hi" could come off as nagging to him...crazy I know. When you feel a Gemini back off, let them. If he is into you then he will come back around.
As crazy as this is going to sound, don't take it personally. Geminis are in their heads constantly. He could be oblivious to the fact that he hurt your feelings. A benefit to a Gem is when their moon is in a water sign. This acts as a balance, letting a Gem feel with their heart a bit more and gets them out of their head.
Let him work through this mood and so long as you let him have his space yet remain a constant, he will come back acting "normal" again.
Hope that helps. Feel free to ask me any questions
wow..thank you so much. really helped!!!!!
Im so glad Good Luck!
ok...he texted me monday. was rather shocked. he said good afternoon, etc. we texted back and forth a little bit throughout the day. the way we spoke was a lil different. we use to say hey babe, etc, but none of that today. you can tell things are weird. i thought he might have apologized to me for the way he acted, but he didn't. i am really curious as to if we are still dating, if we are still only dating each other but we just aren't boyfriend and girlfriend or if we are only friends? should i even address the issue? and if he does ask to see me should i say i have plans to seem like i am not so readily available since he did say he was bad boyfriend material, and could not give me the time or attention i needed??? lil history...i separated from my husband in june and filed for divorce in july and i met this gemini in october. at first he would say he knew he was just the rebound guy but then would laught if off like he was joking. my divorce was finalized 12/18/09. to be honest i really dont want him as a boyfriend because i dont think it is healthy for me right now. it was nice to have him as a distraction while i was going through the divorce... but i do not want to be getting played by him either or strung along for the "benefits". any advice on my next move?????
Well I think the biggest thing is to figure out what it is that you want. Maybe he is getting the feeling that you are pulling away and thus is doing the same?
I have a little insight when it comes to divorce. Granted I have not been divorced myself since I have not been married, but my family is literally built of divorces and I have been through the ugliest of ugly with my grandparents and parents. That said, anyone who has been there will tell you, as I think you already know, it is a good idea to take time for yourself and not date immediately following a divorce. The therapists say to wait one year, though I have found each person handles the situation differently and it also depends on how long the marriage was.
Its important to remember how to be you and give yourself all the pampering and healing time needed.
I know all to well the benefit of a distraction, but if you aren't really "in it" with this Gemini then I say "worry not". I wouldn't stress about what your relationship is, be it friends or boyfriend, girl friend etc. especially if you aren't sure if you want him in that way. From how I read your post, it seems that you are wavering between two different ideas. If you have any doubts about what it is that you want, for example if you don't know for certain that you are ready and wanting to date someone, then I say get out now. Don't be in a relationship just to be in one. Dating sucks and being alone can be rough but this is a time for you to grow.
It was amazing the transformation my mother made after her divorce. She is easily the most hardworking and most enduring person I know. That woman can withstand anything and she did so because she found her distraction in her kids and at her job and she focused on herself.
Find your inner strength and know you first.
I think you find that when you know you, you will have an easier time handling the situation you are in now...even with a sporadic, ever-changing Gemini.
Many will tell you, we are not easy to date, but those who have it in them will tell you it is well worth the ride.
Not sure what your sign is, but it could be that a Gemini isn't your optimal match. I will say that stereotypically we get over things quickly and often are good for being a distraction.
One final tidbit, if he isn't falling over you, then treat the situation though you were just friends. Act nonchalant and if he comes back full force wanting to date, saying the "hey babes" and being sweet again....first make sure it is what you want and 2. then address any issues regarding feelings, relationship status etc.
Good Luck! Let me know how it goes
OH and another thing, it is SOOO very hard to tell what someone means via email, text, or IM since you cannot hear the tone of the message so be weary of that because something that came off as distant could be playful and sarcastic in his mind. Which is likely since Gemini's "tend" to be very playful...
thank you for your advice!!!! of all my friends and family you have been the first to tell me i need to find my inner strength and know me first before getting back into a relationship. thank you thank you thank you thank you. that really struck a nerve with me. to be honest i do not know who i really am. my identity and value has always been attatched to a man. oh and by the way i am a taurus!!!! hope you have a wonderful day!
You are more than welcome
It is easy to lose yourself when in a relationship because all of your attention and focus is placed in on the "other". I say, start relating with that inner bull and you will find that you will become a force to be reckoned with.
Also, just from personal past experience with dating a Taurus...it seems Geminis and Taurus are better as friends than as boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, for me, it got a little ugly towards the end and sad to say, his stubbornness and demand for my time ended up making me feel claustrophobic and sent me running for the hills.
Not saying in any way that is what is happening with your situation nor will it, but I have found that a Gemini, an air sign, and Taurus, an earth sign, aren't very compatible. Often when you mix the two (air and earth) you end up getting a dust storm.
Keep in touch if you can, let me know how things turn out for you. Wishing you all the best
hey! hope you are doing well. i am starting a divorce care class next tuesday. from what i have heard it seems to be very beneficial. i was devastated with what happened with my husband at is only been 7 months with one month actually being divorced. so i definately think i need to heal from that before i even think of giving my heart away again. and i do not need to be a good time sally eihter. he has texted me every day. sometimes in the morning. sometimes in the afternoon. one interesting note he mentioned that when he was being distant, etc. that he was giving me my space because he knew that that week was the one yr anniversary of the death of my baby son. i really think it was a crock. i mean ingorning someone when they call or text you is just rude. so im kinda thinking he is full of sh$t. in my mind i was like whatever. i did not repsond to it. today he made a comment about us seeing each other soon,but did not state anything specific as to when and where. i think he is testing the waters to see if i will just be around when it is convenient for him. with taurus' we usually try to give the benefit of the doubt and if you are are friend we will do anything for you, but fu$$ us over and we are done. think i am kinda getting to that point.
Hello! I am doing well, thank you
GOOD FOR YOU!!
That is wonderful that you are taking the Divorce Care class! I think it will be of great use to you and really get you going to that next step in life. I have a gut feeling big things are going to happen for you and if you take it one step at a time and keep your head and heart open life is going to show you some awesome things.
It sounds like your Gemini is doing just that....testing the waters. I think you are wise to hold back and not give him the attention he is craving. He will get the picture. I think you are spot on on calling him out on his s*it with regards to him not responding and being distant. What a load of crap! You would think someone would do the opposite if they knew there was going to be a potentially rough week ahead. I couldnt imagine what that must be like to have lost a child. My heart truly goes out to you.
I see now that you are one tough cookie...now its just time for you to see it.
Hope you have a great day
I hope I am not being rued here, by talking about this on someone elses post. But I so found insight in the conversation that I thought someone might be able to help me out on my issue too.
I too, date a Gemini Man for at least a year, he tells me he loves me, he has even said we have a future together and he even talked about us moving in together. However, he backs off. He has done this a lot through out our relationship, but I have always given him his space and so in a couple of weeks, he'll call or text and say he is sorry for being distant and things will pickup between us again. I have been supportive, understanding to his needs and he will even say that I have.
However this current time that he has chosen to do this, has been particularly hard for me, because I not only needed him to be there for me, but he had brought up a future with me, even us moving in together and he was feeling freer to say those three little words, without me saying them first.
He keeps me confused all of the time. He has told me when he becomes distant it isn't because he doesn't love me. But I have noticed a pattern with him that counter acts things or confuses me with him and that is, he tends to have the need to talk to other females when he becomes distant with me and I won't go into how I know, but I know it as fact..
He has told me he is extremely paranoid about women because of really bad past relationships and so its hard to get close to anyone and say I love you because of his paranoia. He says he knows its his problem and that it has nothing to do with me, or how he feels about me. He even told me that if he had met me before this last past extremely bad relationship he had, that with the way he feels about me, he would have had me move in with him so fast, my head would have spend.
I don't know, I am confused and at times I feel like I am being played for a sucker.
I wonder if he backs off even after he has said things like future and moving in together, because he is afraid if we take that step, that things will change between us, or go bad, because of us moving in together. The reason this crosses my mind is, because he has said, what if we move in together and I get in one of my shut down moods and you come in and ask me whats wrong and won't stop till you find out, then I go off on you?(He didn't mean physically, he meant yelling. I know for a fact he'd never hurt me physically.)
Maybe someone else can help shed some light on this for me, that knows more about the Gemini Man.
Ladies my advice is run!!!! Don't hesitate, forget about them!!!! Hope you take the time to read my 20 year struggle being married to a gemini man who has been unavaiable emotionally over the years and unfaithful.
I so associated with the Minnie Pearl on the week gemini man avoided you, sorry for your loss, but trust me this "A" typical behaviour for a gemini men.
Hate to say after reading Kay Aries and Minnie Pearls comments on their Gemini men I would have to agree about their lack the ability to be emotionally available to another human being.
Imagine spending the last 20 years with a gemini man and he behaves this way with you. What a ride it has been. Has been questionable behaviour for years. One neighbor woman showed up at my front door, our toddler in my arms and my daughter in the room, she had the nerve to tell me how my gemini husband propositioned her in exchange for standing up for her in court.
Would come home to find someone had left him his favorite fruit at our door.
My daughter's teenage years were quiet turblent and through it all he kept his distance, provided little to no comfort.
Have been to hell and back with this guy, he is saying the divorce is due to my behaviour, he never looks at himself.
We went in front of the judge to determine temporary alimony because he refused to do the right thing on his own. He stated his weight gain was due to the seperation, he has had a weight problem all his life, but now it is my fault.
He left me after 20 years, he does not speak to me, does not return my calls, texts, or e-mails. I do not know specifically where he lives, only know the county and living with another woman, we have been seperated for 8 months, he replaced me that fast. How does one disappear so quickly, how does one justify this action? Actually they were having an affair, my brother happen upon them due to same athletic intrests. But he blames me for the seperation and eventual divorce. My kids are so upset, but how do I tell them, or my very surprised family, about all the things that he has done over the years?
Again let me stress twenty years and it is the same behaviour you are describing after a few months to a year. They do not grow out of it, nothing changes, it is total detachment. Take my advice, find someone else able to commit and be emotionally available to you ladies.
By the way astrologically Aquarians and Geminis are a good match, look at all the trouble I have had with two who are suppose to be a perfect couple.
Could tell you about "two" other couples in the same boat. Aqurian women, gemini man, man cheated, treated wife like c*ap and now they are divorced as well.
Good luck ladies.
I was married to one , it took 7 years of dating before he would commit to marriage , and then only because i said ok we either marry or break up , im not dating for 7 more years! we did marry, worst mistake of my life he is in his head and emotions are missing, must be a robot type of thing, marry them for money not love......lol........better yet run as fast as you can!!!!!!!!
ok your going to make me cry! i swear you must be dating my ex bf, does he live in nor cal? seriously....i've finally gave up on him and us....i'm a gemini too but have never told him the crap he tells me, almost feels he is unstable and needs meds!!! we dated 3yrs almost 4 and what seems like every week he would find a reason to break up with me would drive me nuts! then expect me to go back but no way jose!
Wow. Ladies, I hate to hear this. However, I am glad that you all wanted to share with us on the experiences you have had with Gemini men.
I dated a guy for a year in High School, you could say we were high school sweethearts, he was the first Gemini I had ever dated, but he wasn't like the last two Gemini Men I have been involved with. Actually my current one is worse then either of the other two.
My first Gemini was sweet, shy and very affectionate, maybe it was because he was young and so was I, IDK.
I just found out through an old classmate, that my HS Sweetie has been looking for me for 20 years. I also fund out he lives 500 miles away. The only reason we broke up at the time was his dad made him move to another state to stay with his Mom, because his dad didn't like me.
My second Gemini guy couldn't make up his mind whether to go back with his x-wife or be with me, so I made that decision for him, but at least he was honest with me.
The guy I am dating currently, I do think he needs med's and its for bio-polar and ADD. Course i am no doctor, but the signs are all there. Definitely they have duel personalities.
So, what I am saying here is, there fun when their around, but their hell on the heart.
What is worse, they are in constant torment within their selves, because they can't make a commitment to nothing.
Kay-Aries, this sucks so much, I just hate the facted the stars say they are my perfect match and yet they are sooo screwed to be with, makes me angry that they are commited to being a retard than to every being happy, I just hate feeling like this and wish it was easy to move on, and I wish I knew the signs b4 and wish that I never fell in the trap again, you know if my gem man were to come back to me, I'd say it clear to him with 5 strikes, and tell him how I feel, I dont think they have any right to eff over people like that, who the hell do they think they are. I will not be pushed over, someone needs to put them in their place, give them warnings reason why they keep doing it, cos they feel they are getting away with fire, I always honestly told my gem-man that he was A-hole, and then he showed his true colours and acted less arogant with me, but I think he left me cos he cant afford anything now with no job, with family issues, his ex-gf and that it was to much to handle I suppose. I miss him dearly it was a joy talking to him, never meet anyone like him.
My heart goes out to all of you ladies....I've done my part in defending the sign but it seems that when it comes to the Gemini Man, they can be some of THE biggest @$$holes.
I am a female Gemini and all I can say is to hold them accountable and stay strong. Use logic to get the better of them...nothing quite like the truth to break a Gemini (and even then they can squirm and lie to get out of an uncomfortable situation)....and try to keep emotions out of it when speaking logically.
My one pet peeve with regards to how people talk about all signs is the stereotyping. Just be careful, not ALL Gemini males are exactly the same.
I agree to note the trends, and please be wary, but also have hope...I do know of at least one good Gemini guy...sweet, unique and treats women like princesses....hehehe they are out there, I promise!
I know of one. but it was when he and I were teenagers, but to this day he is the only guy I dated or even got married to, that treated me like a lady and with respect. He was very affectionate and wrote me love letters all the time.
I wish I knew where he was and what his life was like now, if he was single I wouldn't never let him go again. sorta bittersweet,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
update....last text i had gotten from my gem, he indicated that we would see each other soon, but did not provide a time frame. saturday night, he texts me to say hi. i made simple chit chat and then asked him in a get who should i take the jets or the colts. he said the colts. he plays golf every sunday...so funny i get a text from him sunday asking me who i was taking in the jets indy game. (im a huge football fan). i told him i did not like the bet so did not take it. his reply, "oh he wanted sex" and my reply was, "no just a date". he then quickly asked where i was watching the game at. told him i was at champs with friends. asked where i was watching the second game at. told him i was not sure. then about an hour later i get another text asking where i was going to watch the game. told him i was staying there. interesting to note that he suddenly wanted me to come watch with him, when he knew i was out. later got a text asking me if some guy was going to be taking me home. thought this was quite amusing seeing as how he distanced himseld from me. soooo....he called me tonight. i did not answer, but called him back later. we had a good chat. he went on to tell me how he is going through a hard time right now. since his accident, he is in a rental car, seeing a chiro, not being able to work because of his hurt arm, etc. etc. he does home remodeling, etc. he pretty much invited himself over to my house for lunch on tuesday. said he had a drs appt later that day around 4 but would love to spend the afternoon with me. i agreed. shortly after we got off the phone and then i kicked myself in the ass and asked myself what i was doing. called him up and said that i couldn't do lunch on tuesday but maybe another day this week. i have to say i felt a little empowered. you could tell he wasn't happy by the tone of his voice, but its not like he has not done that to me. we will see i ever hear from him again. im thinking not. when a taurus is done they are done.