How Can I Reach My Late Husband?
I lost my husband and soul mate very suddenly in August of 2008, and although I received many messages from him soon after his death and the months to follow, I haven't received anything recently. I usually dream of him, but it's been awhile since he has appeared there. I asked him to come to me because I so desperately need to see him again, and to know that he is there and that he loves me, but have had no visitations lately.
Can anyone give me some tips on how I can try to contact him? I don't want to seek a psychic at this point. I just want to know the best way I can reach out to him myself.
Any help I can get for this will be greatly appreciated!
You seem to know the connection to his heart.
Offer your truth in your cup.
And remember, what he is saying is not important at all. What he is being here is important. So don’t be lost in his words: they are just toys to play with. Listen to his being, to his presence.
You never want what you get; you reject it. You always want what is not given to you; this you try to get. You never feel satisfied with what you have, you always want something else. And you never say what you really want. You suffer much from this but, it seems, not enough as you still cling to it.
I am sorry for your loss, I think if you received messages previously, that it would reoccur.
I am unable to help you, and it's none of my business but there is something I feel compelled to make you aware of. The spirit realm that appears to communicate loved ones can be deception, there are more than ever a time in history, beings accessing our physicality. Some of them are fallen and not honest. They have been known to prey on the kinds of communications you intend to invoke with your husband, use caution. A close friend went through an experience where beings of some other reality or dimension entered her life, and
she has had her life turned upside down since, I won't go as far as saying she was possessed, but I simply don't know what else to call it, but the entity was not of her consciousness, and it was highly, highly intelligent and very deceptive. You can test these entities by various methods. I suggest you familiarize yourself with the work of joe jordan at ce4research.com before delving into things to deep. I mean you know disrespect, but the other dimensions don't always play by our rules, and they can be quite dangerous to the unprotected visitor. I hope you can find a safe way to connect to his spirit and find peace in that. bless you.
Spirit says TRANSITION. Your husband is always close. Don't grasp and reach so hard he says and learn to be faithful in believing. You can not live forward and be drawn to the grave at the same time--you have to choose going forward with life.. Do not seek so desperately as it could invite desperate others into your energy field. You had early dreams because that is what you needed at the time. Now you must embrace the mystery and grace of transformation of our love when someone close crosses over. There are no validations that would serve you well right now and you are right not to feel ready for seeing a psychic as it would just help you drag your feet at this stage of the process. You must believe and accept he does visit often and does send little coincidentle hello's that you miss when you are so distracted by feeling his absence more than feeling his presence. Trust and relax and don't dismiss when you sense a sudden moment of peace. Hanse is right you must learn to hear with your heart. Love endures with an energy not always spoken out loud but felt. You can learn to silence your fears and hearing from the other side will improve. Final message, Spirit says BELIEVE.
Thank you all SO much for your words of support and inspiration! I have been in much need of such, and also of your wisdom regarding the possibility of invoking spirits other than my husbands. I was just having thoughts of that possibility today! (No coincidence.)
I have had such waves of grieving since he died. They come like the tides, and wash over me like the ocean waves. Often quite unexpectedly. I can go a few days now feeling okay, and looking ahead. Then Whoosh! Here it comes again. I am also alone quite often, living in a rural area with few friends. I know that contributes to my loneliness.
hanswolfgang: So true! You have pegged me quite accurately. Thank you for enlightening me on this aspect of my personality and spirituality...
tikiseven: Thank you too! I am aware of the darker realms that you speak of, and have been quite wary of some of what I have experienced. No disrespect was taken, and I will consult that site you mentioned. Thank you...
Blmoon: I understand what you are saying, and see myself in your words. I had dreams of my husband that I believe were visitations, then I have had dreams that included him but did not feel like visitations. The messages I received earlier on were very specific and personal (mostly musical-he was a musician), so I do believe they were from him. His daughter has received some as well, and they were also very personal and specific. I will admit that I have reached out to the spirit realm since this loss, for guidance and answers to questions that have come up in my life. I understood the risk in that, and have since ended that sort of practice. But last night... I got a bit of a scare, and I do believe that your messages to me are no coincidence whatsoever! Just before I fell asleep, I asked my husband to please come to me. To visit me, and let me know he is there and that he loves me. As I fell off to sleep, I dreamed (yet it felt SO real) of a man lying close to me, spooning with me, but it was most definitely not my husband. It scared the crap out of me really! I kept saying, "who is it? who is it?", and then I woke myself up. It happened once more, and I struggled for a moment to wake myself. It really shook me up. So thank you for the words of advice. I will try to just open my heart to my husband, and to be careful about what I wish for!
Thank you all again...
Say a sacred yes to life and all that is contained in life. And to live with this yes needs courage! To live with this yes means that you are ready to dissolve into the ocean. But the moment the dewdrop drops into the ocean it also becomes the ocean. Go beyond no; try to reach to the ultimate yes. That is prayer and that is true religion.
Thank you again hanswolfgang... I will have to ponder that for awhile...
We go on missing the point and we go on thinking of something else which was not the case; this is how the foolish mind functions. Enjoy the moment, and whatsoever the moment makes available to you, be enriched by.
Jazzsinger, I've had experience and contact with ghosts and spirits all of my life, and have learned alot about them from my experiences. Sometimes when people pass on, they do stay in contact with us for a while, and sort of put off their travel to the Afterlife. Your husband has probably gone on to the Afterlife by now, but in doing so, he has become a spirit (not a ghost), and will be able to come and go to visit you. However, most visits from spirits are usually during special occasions such as births, holidays, anniversaries, etc. They also can come during times of crisis, either to comfort or to warn us.
You don't need any outside help in contacting him. They are very aware of us and can hear us and feel our love in the Afterlife. Talk to him out loud, just as though he were in the room. Tell him that you love him and miss him. When he can, he may choose to visit you...be open to visits that are other than your dreams. You may smell a scent associated with him, such as cologne, or grease (if he was a mechanic) or cigar/cigarette smoke (if he was a smoker). Pay attention to things around the house...something might get moved from where it once was, and this could be a sign that he was around. Or you might just feel like you have company in the house, and this could be him visiting, too.
Be very careful of doing anything to try to contact him. Ouija boards can be very dangerous. They are the equivalent of leaving your front door open to your home, where anything can wander in. Just let things be, and pay attention, and you will know in your heart when he comes to visit you.
Also, just so you know, he is going to understand that you need to finish your life here in the physical world, and take care of the things that you were meant to do. This means going on without him physically by your side. This doesn't mean that you have to forget about him, by all means no...but it does mean that over time, his visits may become less frequent so that you can focus on what you need to do, instead of being distracted by him all the time. They understand in the Afterlife that they can't interfere with your life and your lessons all the time, as it can hinder your progress and learning here, and you may not complete your life as it is meant to be. It's like giving your kids the test answers instead of them learning for themselves. It doesn't help your kids to learn and grow on their own.
Dear Darkness Angel,
Thanks for the insight about us that are left behind trying to contact our love ones. I did not know that such instruments like the Ouija boards could be so dangerous.I think we miss our love ones so much that we would do anything to have them contact us.
Does this same caution should be apply to psychic people that can talk with the deceased love ones? Should we be cautious and not use a psychic or medium to contact the dead?
Rooster, that depends on the psychic. People like John Edwards or Sylvia Browne understand the Other Side because they are connected to it. John Edwards says that he uses his Guides as secretaries and actually has them filter out who comes through for his readings. In my case, I tend to really put up barriers of protection without really trying, I guess because I've been doing this all my life. I've had mostly good experiences that have taught me about ghosts and spirits, but every once in a while I've seen a bad one.
Just be aware that there are so called "psychics" that are out there just to make a quick buck and may not have any talent at all. If that's the case, then they probably don't really know how to open themselves up to the Other Side to receive anything, good or bad.
The ones who really can connect to the Other Side are very careful and have a sort of "sixth sense" about when it's a safe connection and when it's not. They learn this from experience, and from developing their abilities. There are a number of folks here who are gifted, and I would recommend that you stick with what you know. People here are wonderful and very helpful, and will be more than happy to help you along your way.
Dear Darkness angel,
Thank you so much for your insight, and your warnings... I have been so lonely and desperate at times since my husband died. We had a very strong connection in life, and doing without him has been quite difficult at times. I knew him 23 years, and was with him every day for 13 of them. Before that we were very good friends, and musical collaborators. He was an extremely talented and creative man, with an intellect far above and beyond anyone I've ever met. He changed my life, and taught me so many things. He had health issues, so I wasn't completely shocked when he died, but it was quite sudden and traumatic for me, and my son. He died here at home when a blood clot passed into his lungs, and my son was the one to find him.
Right after his memorial service, when everyone had left and we were alone again, Both my son and I smelled his "scent". We were outside, where he spent most of his time tending the garden and doing all the outside chores. A breeze blew in, and we both smelled him on that breeze. That was my first message from him. After that the musical messages began. They were very personal and specific, and strategically timed so there was no doubt they were from him. My son and I also had a few visitation type dreams of him early on as well. In life, he was always able to reach me in my dreams. He would concentrate intently on me, and I would dream exactly what he was thinking. Since he died, I have also had dreams of him trying to hold onto his life here with me. Telling me that he wishes he could still be here with us. Those have tapered off though recently.
I know my desperation may have left me vulnerable to entities other than his, when I reached out to the spirit realm for guidance and comfort. I did not use a Ouija board, as I know the risks with them. I just lit a special candle and called out to those whom I've lost and who love me. I was very careful to call to my husband and my sister in law, who also died quite suddenly 6 months after him. I just know that there is a risk of drawing unwanted entities in our desperate state of mind. I do not feel as if there is an entity with me here, but I did have some strange occurrences recently as I fell off to sleep. I wrote in an earlier post that one night I asked my husband to please visit me, as I needed to feel his presence so much. As I fell off to sleep, I dreamed that a man was spooning with me in bed, but it did NOT feel like my husband. It felt like someone else, and he laughed quite eerily in my ear. I woke myself up, but it happened one more time when I fell asleep again. I had to struggle to wake myself up, but I did. I kept saying "who is it? who is it?" in my sleep. It really shook me up. Then last night, as I fell asleep it felt as if someone was lying on top of me, not a physical form, but a spirit, and it was smothering me. I woke myself up immediately, and thankfully it didn't happen again.
So now I'm concerned that I may have "opened my door" as you said to an unwanted entity. I'm not absolutely sure about it, as it could just be my subconscious mind trying to sort out all the fears I have of decisions I need to make, and also my loneliness. I would appreciate any tips you might have though to rid my home of any possible entities. I would feel better if I did something, just to be sure.
Thank you again for your insight, and any advice you can give me regarding this would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. I have tried to post this reply twice, and got the "Problem Loading Page" message both times! Luckily after the first time I copied it and pasted it into Wordpad so I wouldn't lose it again. This makes me think more about the fact that my computer has been dialing itself up randomly onto the internet, with no prompting from me! (It also sometimes randomly disconnects like it just did now!) Do you think it is possible that spirits can take electrical form and mess around with appliances and machines? I have had weird experiences here with my stove, and have always just attributed it to the spirit of the woman who lived here before (who just so happened to die of a stroke right in the kitchen!). Let me know what you think. Please!
Dear Jazzsinger...how fortunate you've been to have had so many wonderful years with your husband. Not everyone gets that chance and some of us can only dream of it while we seek it. I have friends who have been together since High School, and have raised four beautiful children to adulthood. It's a blessing, as yours has been.
It's nice that you and your son both have received messages from your husband. I believe that at the memorial service, he was letting you know that he wasn't really gone, but still around you both. He probably at first felt like he'd left you both too soon, and maybe wasn't really ready to leave when he did, especially since it was so sudden. He'd had no time to prepare for this leaving, and sometimes when our deaths occur suddenly, it's kind of an unexpected surprise to us. There isn't really any prep time. It's not unusual for souls to want to hang on...not all of them do, because the Afterlife is such a wonderful place to be, but for the ones who leave us suddenly, they may be saying "Heyyy...I wasn't really ready for this yet", and long to be able to change things back to what they once were. But there are guides in the Afterlife who help to coach the souls that arrive, and they explain to them the Greater Scheme of Things and how it all works. Once a soul understands this and is enlightened by this knowledge, then they can usually accept it and let go of the material world in order to move on properly. This doesn't mean that they forget us, not at all, it just means that they come to understand that they can't be interfering in our lives, simply because we have a path to follow, lessons to learn, and things of our own to accomplish. They are allowed to visit us, and do have the free will to come and go to us as they please, but only under certain conditions.
As to the entity who is bothering you, you are correct in assuming that it's not your husband, and it needs to go. Negative entities like that feed off of negative energy like anger, fear, depression, and loneliness, so when it does come around, try not to be afraid. When you lit the candle, did you surround yourself with a protective white light or say a prayer of protection before you called out? If not, then what probably happened was that you left yourself open to whatever heard you. It's like the Ouija board...a door was left open and anything wandering by can wander in. You can try performing a cleansing by using sage throughout your home. If you can't get a hold of any sage, then just buy regular old Morton salt and sprinkle it around your home onto the carpets. You don't need to leave big piles, just sprinkle it lightly into the carpets during the day. Also, you can sprinkle it a little heavier at the edge of the carpet where your front and back doors are, as well as under your windows. Salt helps to purify, and that might help to keep any negative entities out. Don't worry about it keeping your loved ones out, because they are not made of negative energy, and the salt shouldn't bother them at all. Burn white candles and ask for protection, too.
The next time you want to contact your loved ones, you don't really need any tools such as ouija boards or candles. All you have to do is to talk out loud, just as though they were right there in the room with you. They will be able to hear you, believe it or not. They know when we think of them, when we talk to them, and when we pray for them.
Regarding electrical appliances, the answer is yes(!), ghosts and spirits most certainly can affect anything electrical. Dialup can be a bear sometimes, so it could just be the dialup on your computer that's acting up, or it could be a paranormal influence. And just to be on the safe side, have an electrician check out your stove...just to make sure that it's in good working order and doesn't have a real problem going on. You don't want to end up having a fire. Let me know if the woman is a problem for you, and I can try to help you encourage her to leave your home too. But if you're okay with her being there, then that's fine too. As long as she's not bothering you in a negative way, she may end up moving along on her own, in her own time, when she's ready to.
I hope that this has all been helpful to you. Be strong, and many blessings to you!
Dear Darkness Angel,
Thanks for the insight that you gave Jazzsinger. I just have a couple questions to ask you about lighting a candle to talk to the dead. What do you consider to be a white light? What would be considered a " pray of protection" ? Why would sage be used for cleansing and not some other herb? Why would you sprinkle salt more heavily at door openings? If the strong spirit wanted to come in your house would they not find a way even if you did these things... sprinkle sage or salt.
I lit a candle around Christmas trying to talk to my deceased husband and I did not know about these prep items for the house. Do you think I am okay in my house now?
Thanks for your input,
There are many techniques about learning to travel the inner planes and visit loved ones where they now are as well as many other adventures at
I wish you great journeys.
May the Blessings Be.
please do not worry so much as fearfulness attracts the wrong energy. Believe in the guides who protect you as well as your loved one. There is no real ceremony or ritual to bring visitation. Some things help YOU be in a calm state and when we are at peace we hear better. Do not ever dwell on bad spirits--it only gives them energy. Respect that they exhist and when you meet certain people who are surrounded by them you will know enough to stay clear but otherwise you really have no reason to expect them to invade your boundries. You can get a bad psychic just as well as a bad doctor or mechanic. Sage is good for clearing a house--it's been used for centuries and I have no idea why it works but it does. It's not so much used to keep up everyday but good for say if someone in your home has been arguing a lot or been depressed. Otherwise your home should reflect your energy. If you are hopeful and productive in your home and you keep your home free of stagnation and excess clutter the lower spirit vibrations have no desire to hang around. The emotions that attract lower spirits are depression, hostility, hatefulness including unloving thoughts towards yourself. Surely you have walked into a home that felt heavy and tired and homes that vibrated with good energy. If your home is a happy place you are in no danger. Grief is not all negative and spirits soround you during these times as well as your guardian angel. Grief should have alternate periods of joy and living. Desperation is not good for too long and can attract dishonest people and unhappy spirits. If you really think the energy in your home is attracting unwanted visits then get the energy up. Clean house it makes energy as you move about nurturing your things. Put music on, light candles--let the sunshine in--get a good breeze going through. Redecorate. Get going on a project. Bring fresh flowers in--buy some plants. Fill your house with LIFE and I promise you it will not invite lower energy spirits--they will move on as there is always a low place to go. If you really need to feel extra safe visualize looking down from above and seeing your house glowing with soft light--pick a soothing colour--pale blue or pink or white or violet. And see a band of angels holding hands in a big ring around your home. What I can tell you for sure as a psychic is when your loved one IS really right there but you don't believe it and feel an absence despite his presence THIS is what opens another door--you actually are turning down your loved ones guarding energy--it's as if you've reached right past him deeper into the grave and puting yourself closer to death--that's what the lower emotions do--take you closer to death. Let him come to you--believe he is there and fill your house with life and you will not have any reason to fear harm from univited spirits.
Thanks for the inspirational thoughts and guidance. I just feel so lost without my husband. Sometimes I want to turn back time so he would be right here with me.
After I read what Darkness Angel said I became scared that I did not prep my house and the unwanted spirits would be here instead of my husband's spirit.
I guess when one is facing with so much grief about our love ones that one will do anything just to get a couple minutes with them.
I just feel so lost without my husband and I have to go through the grief process and I do not know how long I will be in this state. The healing process takes such a long time.
Thanks for giving me the tip on bringing good energy and spirits into my house.
my son passed away a year and a half ago so I am not just giving psychic advice but reaching out to you as someone who is traveling this same uphill journey. I also lost a sister in a car accident 30 years ago. My father passed ten years ago and my best friend of 38 years died 4 years ago. Losing a child is the most unbelievably excruciating expeirience I have ever been through and I have been through a lot. Because I'm psychic I've been blessed with that knowing he is around and I also know when he is not--he also visits and comforts his brothers and friends so he can't stay always BUT I trust he stays during my darkest moments. I've come to know that when he leaves I feel the seperation and that kind of wobly feeling of will I get through this? The emotional rollercoaster can be exhausting and I've been through many phases this far so trust that it does get more manageable. What is the hardest emotion to handle is the urge to want to go too. I was so appalled at these feelings as I know how wrong they are--I have a family who would be very hurt if I left them. I've learned that these feelings are normal and all you can do is feel them but not act on them. I have made my committment to surviving this as a testiment to my son--I live my best life in honor of him. His passing must have purpose to give me the skills to complete my life's purpose here. Many local churches have a survivors grief group. I did not go that route but have friends who felt it helped them. The first six months were a challange because like you I was still wanting to catch sight of him every turn--this is normal and will subside. I have been more reclusive and that is normal. Crazy days of nothing but tears are normal but these will be less and less. I promise you it gets better. When my sister died I was young and not so spiritualy advanced as I am now so I spent that grieving time in the dark and searching for answers--it got me closer to my religion. If you really have the urge to get spiritual answers you should consider joining a spiritualist church and attending service. Or any church really that uplifts your spirits. You are not lost as much as in transition. This event changes who you are and it takes time to reassemble. There is nothing wrong with seeing a psychiatrist for grief and medication as long as you do not have an addictive personality. I keep a very small dose available to ward off extreme panic attacks--I resisted this at first but realised the grief process is so very hard on the body and at my age could be very damaging. I went to a psychiatrist rather than a doctor because they monitor and screen you more carefully. I've found it is best not to fight the dark moments but to let it out but then move on to an activity--have that moment or ten of despair and tears then maybe go out and sweep the walk. Evertime you live to have a joyful moment visualize your husband smiling behind you clapping and feeling so proud of you. Knowing your pain I can honestly say I so very much wish you the peace you deserve. It does get better but don't fool yourself into thinking it is not the hardest work you will ever do and most people will not understand or want to go there with you and it is a very isolating place to be. We all know death looms close everyday but our society does not dwell on it and I've had friends who clung to me and some who distanced themselves because it's too scary to imagine for them. People don't like to talk about death.
Rooster, I didn't mean to scare anyone and I'm sorry if I scared you. I do paranormal investigations, and I've worked with folks who have opened up their lives and their homes to negative entities. I have a friend who was once attacked during an investigation, and another friend whose investigative partner was actually possessed during another investigation. When people are grieving, they can become victims to negative entities, simply because, as Blmoon said, certain emotions can draw them. Certain lifestyles can, too. And when people "call out", they have to be careful about what they're doing. It's one thing to light a candle in love for a loved one and ask them to visit, but it's a little riskier to perform a ritual or play with a ouija board. I am sorry if I scared you, as that wasn't my intent. It's just that I've personally experienced how badly things can go, and I just want to try to prevent that from happening to anyone else.
Let me try to answer some of your questions and hopefully, that will clear some things up. The White Light is what some psychics and paranormal investigators surround themselves in before conducting anything where they reach out to contact the Other Side. Usually a person enters a meditative state, and pictures themselves surrounded by a protective white light, white fog, white cloud, or white bubble. This white positive energy is supposed to help them to be protected from anything that's negative.
A protective prayer is one that a person says in order to have protection for themselves. People can pray to whichever deity they believe in, their Higher Power, God, Goddess, Jesus, Mary, Michael, whichever they believe in who can protect them. The prayer is usually phrased asking for protection from them, to keep a person safe.
As Blmoon explained, Sage has been used for centuries for cleansings, because it's believed to purify the environment. I don't know how or why it works, either, but it does. I have personally used it to cleanse homes from hauntings, and it worked.
Salt is also used to purify. The reason you put a little more of it by the doors or windows is because these are natural entrances into homes. Sometimes ghosts or negative entities use these natural entrances just out of habit...like they did when they were alive. We don't walk through walls, and it's pretty true what they say about old habits dying hard.
The other reason, especially for your front and back door, is that the extra salt is believed to cleanse your energy as you walk in and out of your home.
If you aren't experiencing anything scary in your home, then you don't need to be concerned with anything. Lighting a candle at Christmas for your husband isn't a bad thing, and in fact, is a wonderful thing to do. It's a way of remembering him, and honoring him. I don't know if you're familiar with Gettysburg, but when the soldiers were off fighting in the Civil War, many homes burned candles in their windows for the soldiers. It's a practice that's carried on to this day, even though the war has been over for over 100 years. I think, from what you've said in your posts, that you're perfectly fine in your home. Again, I'm sorry if I scared you.