I am scared and desperate. Can you help me, by giving me a reading ?
My whole life is falling down around me and although I know that a reading won’t solve my problems, I hope that by getting one it will help give me some insight on things that may give me hope and guidance, so that I can focus. My anxiety is so bad that I feel I am loosing my mind. I am fighting off depression, that is capable of sending me into an abyss of no return.
I am concerned about my daughter (19) and her 3 month old daughter, I am concerned about my relationship with my boyfriend, but my biggest problem is, my house goes up for auction in a sheriffs sale on Tuesday, I will have 30 days from that date to leave my home of 11 years and I have no money for another place to live, and I am worried that once I get enough money to get a rental, that I won’t be able to make it because of my income. I am a widow of almost 2 years and since his death, my life has been going down hill fast.
Since the 30rth of December the guy I have been seeing, and I thought would be there for me, has backed off. He isn’t gone all the way, he still says he loves me, but he is paranoid about taking that next step with me because of prior bad relationships he has been in, plus he says he deals with depression because he can’t handle stress well.
I have been very patient, understanding and supportive of him for the past year, he even admits to me that this is the case. However, him knowing the situation I am in, he seems to have backed off of our relationship. From August till December 30 of 2009 things with us seemed like they were really progressing and he seemed happy with me and I with him. I had my reservations because I didn’t want to push to hard, but allow him to go in his own passé. I have not felt really myself and strong since the death of my husband. Plus I too, was dealing with my husbands passing, while trying to move on with my life and find out where I belonged, since my life had changed so much, in such a short period of time.
In about 30 days I will have no internet to get a reading, I will be living in a camper at a neighbors house. While someone sells my house. I will be 42 years old on March 28 and I am at the lowest I have ever been except for my husbands death, this feels like I am reliving that all over again.
I thought I would be better prepared, I had a little money set back, but the weekend before Thanksgiving a deer destroyed the right side of my car and the windshield, I only had liability insurance, so that money went into repairing my car. Anything at all, you can tell me, is better then what and where I am at, right now.
I know I sound negative and I should be counting my lucky stars that I even have shelter. And truly I do.
Kay, I am so moved by your strength in the face of so many challenges that I want to offer my humble insight. I am surely not as experienced as some of the readers on this forum and I hope that they will find you and offer their assistance - and a more extensive outlook. But I grabbed my cards and just did a quick three card reading to get a sense of what's going on for you. (The cards tell the tale, I only tell you what they say, I am no psychic so cannot tell you where things are headed. I will also tell you which cards came up in case you are familiar with them or want to research further).
In the past is certainly the pain and worries you have been dealing with. (Nine of Swords). Sleepless nights, uncertainty, hopelessness, and worries. The nice thing here is that this card is in the past position, it is on it's way out.
The present is the Three of Cups. I see this as friends who will come to your aid. You are surrounded by a strong sense of community and others who love and support you. Please reach out to those people at this time, they are there for you. Try not to get lost in the complexities of your situation and overlook what others can offer. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You are not alone.
The near future is the Lovers. I'm taking this to refer to your boyfriend. The Lovers card is a card of major, life-altering decisions and suggests that your boyfriend will come to some kind of decision. I can not tell you what it will be, but the good news is that the decision is coming and that is always better than hanging in the unknown no matter what. You have enough unknowns to deal with right now.
The "shadow card" in this reading is the Moon. This reinforces the idea that there are many shadows in your life right now, many unknowns, lots of confusion - but it is also a card of dreams and imagining. Try to think creatively at this time and stay open to all options that might improve your situation. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you when I say, "try to stay positive", but truly, this card is telling you that you can come out of the shadows. Don't let fears hold you back, don't be afraid of the unfamiliar, new situations, or change. Remember that the moon is a light that helps guide us through the darkness. Look for all of the "light" in your life - the people and the opportunities that can help you move forward and you will come out just fine.
I wish you well Kay and will think good thoughts for you as you proceed in this time of great change. Your spirit seems so strong, you just astound me, and in my heart I feel you will come through this just fine and good things are waiting for you ahead.
Things in your country are not as they may appear to you, your country has been hijacked from
the inside by an ancient group of beings of a name I cannot mention due to forum rules.
Your house is yours, you can prevent its seizure using a legal method. You must educate yourself on the following subjects, Learn what UCC Form-1 is. Google or Youtube "strawman principle". Google "Jordan Maxwell Universal Commercial Code". Learn how to file a UCC Form 1, with your state registry, then recapture your legal entity called a 'strawman' that was created at your birth, it is your 'all capitalized name'. I know this all sounds bizzare, I know it makes no sense, but you owe it to yourself to investigate what I am saying for 10 miuntes look at a short film by "Irene Gravenhorst" on youtube. Then watch others on how to file the forms that can stall a legal action against you. They (sheriffs) are acting in "maritime admiralty jurisdiction" rather than "common law jurisdiction" you are a 'sovereign being' if you file forms correctly, you become a 'creditor' which in the law means they can't touch your house. UCC is the strongest law in the world, if you don't have time to do that you can use a "commercial lein" against your own property by having a relative file one against your own house for more than it is worth. a lein has precedence over a mortage. This can be tough to swallow, I know, but its the truth. The deception is being unveiled daily.
Be very careful with the tarot, some have symbols on them that invoke a spirit world that is not always friendly. The magic world is very real, but not always spiritually safe. The forces are not always light, and can't always be trusted. Best to use a trusted guide, always pray for protection prior to consulting. The King James Version of the bible dates 1611 is the most uncorrupted version of the bible, there are 400 revisions of the bible most are missing the key scriptures or key words that really do protect you from spiritual wickedness. Avoid any that say 'revised' or niv they are not the true words they (same group mention above) have edited out the strongest weapons that we have to use against them. We are dealing with prinicpalities and powers
that are not of this earth...I never thought I'd say that but I now believe it.
Sounds like You need to prioritize your life right now, I think you need spiritual assistance so whether you pray or meditate or visualize, I suggest you spend time each day doing so focusing on what your present needs are. Look after your body with water and sleep, so you can avoid issues like depression.
Explore natural anti-depressants, avoid toxic media and substances, you need 100% of your
abilities to get through this period. Network with people in your community, explore some of the ideas I have mentioned, if you need help, seek support locally whether medical or spiritual or talk therapy. Spend 30 min a day in nature, to recharge your mind..you will get through this and you'll be stronger because of it. Miracles do happen, you must allow them to enter you life, and they will. Hope you find the help you need. bless you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. At least with this, I am rejuvenated in the hope and a new sense of focus.
You are so right about the unknown factor. It is better for the good or the bad, to know th answer or direction you are going to decide what your next move might be. I wish I knew if it would be positive or not on his decision, but at least I know one will be made soon and then I can move on from there.
the second card really hit the mark, because my neighbors are the ones that afford me their camper, until I could find a place and save the money for a place to stay. Would this card reflect at all as to my boyfriend, or not?
Yes the first card really reflected my struggles and I have not been sleeping more then 4 hours a night in weeks, which I am sure has added to my anxiety, depression and the sense of spinning out of control.
Thanks to, for the explanation in regards to the moon card.
I do hope the shadows lift soon and the sun begins to rise again. I am trying to stay positive, but I have times of exhaustion and hopelessness.
Spirit shows me two bold signs--LETTING GO--and- NEW BEGINNINGS. Fear is your enemy. It is not a good energy for attracting the help you need. Fear also attracts like energy and other fearful people into your life and you do not want that. Fear and worry have taken hold of your body and that is your first concern as nothing else really matters without your health. The kind of stress overload you are dumping through your body invites disease. I pick up that on the positive side you are a survivor and normaly have a strong immune system so if you can calm yoursef through this--it will pass and you will see that new beginning spirit promises. Your daughter has her own journey and spirit says--let it be--she is learning to stand alone if you let her. Be there but you can't force the siuation--it is what it is and you are too much the fixer and care taker. That strong inner strength you have has always attracted others to you and they feed off of you at times and it is time to be more "me" conceise. To keep something for yourself. When you give to much it sends the universe the message you don't need much. You give too much and this being stripped to the bone of nothing is the foundation for you to build again in a more selish way. Meeting your own needs as a priority is not selfish in a bad way because if you do not hold back more for yourself in the end you cannot help anyone! This man tests this theory as well. He needs caretaking and the closer you get to having nothing to give the more he will pull back. Spirit says--let him go. You need to save your energy to rebuild. I know the "unknown" fills you with fearful worry but you must have faith that you will be ok. You must let go to move forward. The only thing that is robbing you of your peace of mind is the fear that you will not be ok. Spirit says have faith. Live in the moment--you must get joy back into your life fast to attract the energy and people that will be part of your new life. Spirit says July will be a turning point to be ready for--someone nurturing will enter your life and I see an opportunity for new employment opening up as part of this new phase. It will be a "family atmosphere" and you will feel a sense of security you have so longed for. Spirit says that you must resist needy people untill then as this change is part of the new life. Love yourself right now like you have never done before--no regrettful thoughts, be kind to yourself and trust this storm blowing through your life right now will not last and there is a plan for you.Resist those thoughts that you somehow did something wrong to deserve this! The past is gone and the future is not anything we can own in this moment. You must laugh more--count your blessings--simple as they are. At night displace the worries of tommorrow with a "I am grateful for list" Keep the list going untill you drift off to sleep. I am grateful for my toes! I am grateful for my legs that still work--I am grateful for my eyes that still see. I am grateful for a bed--a warm blanket-. This mode of grateful thinking will change the energy field aroungd you and will draw more things to you. Spirit says for the anxiety attaks you must BREATHE---fear comes with holding in and not breathing in deeply causes bad chemicals in the body. Practice sitting somewhere quiet and just breathe as if with every inhale you are drawing in all the good the universe has to offer--it's out there all you have to do is receive it and believe you are worthy. I know this sounds like an awful lot but you can do this. Have faith--you are being watched over. This too shall pass. Final message spirit says the name Tim
You are very welcome Kay I'm glad you found it uplifting. I went through a couple of tough years myself here, and I can agree with the advice Blmoon gives you. It is very much a time for you to take care of yourself, focus on where you want your life to go (perhaps that Lovers card is going to turn out to be you making the decision to let go of your boyfriend until he can come to you with more certainty about his position...hmm...), and rely on your inner strength to pull you though. Don't wait for things to happen, think creatively and try to forge your own direction. The people you need will be there for you when you need them, but you totally have it in you to drive the direction. Stay alert to even the smallest opportunities and suggestions that might open new doors for you. Don't discount anything. (One tip I received, from a person I barely knew, put me on a path that provided tuition funding for additional schooling - that eventually enabled me to find the level of employment I needed, in a job that I love. That one chance encounter, changed everything for me.)
Again, best of luck to you!!
Kay, I really, deeply feel for you, because I can totally relate. I am in an almost identical situation, and with a few changes, I could have easily written your post. The last two years have been hell for me, and I won't go into details here, but one of the things helping me right now is the positive, wonderful energy that comes from this forum. There are a lot of caring people here, and even if they can't give you money or a home, they can give you hope and insight and strength. I wish the very best for you, I truly do, and I hope that 2010 brings you to a much brighter place and brings you the blessings that you deserve for your trials. Stay strong and do everything you can in your power to stay focused. Don't dwell on things, and when you do, make yourself busy...busy your mind and that will help you through the confusion. That's what I do, even though it's a little hard to do sometimes, you just have to MAKE yourself do it. Best of luck and much love and hugs!
You have some very good advice and guidance from the kind souls here.Im not an experienced tarot card reader but just did a short spread for you.All 3 cards were from the cups suits ,so it seems that the emotional issues need to be resolved before ,or are more pressing than the fear of losing your house.The fourth(advice) card was 5 of swords,its about letting go.There is strong conflict,and you may have to relocate, and you must let go .There is perhaps too much attachment to a past ,at the cost of what can be in the future.The future card is Ace of cups, which shows new beginnings ,new relationships ,and a new you.Stay calm to make the right choices.A walk in open green spaces or any form of communion with nature will help you get through this difficult time.Stay strong...you can do it!Hope this helps
Hugs and lots of love
I thank you for your insight. I will concentrate on what all you have said and suggested. Its ironic that you stated this about letting go of my daughter and her issues and my boyfriend and his issues.
I just told my best friend Michelle today that this that is happening to me is all my fault, because I have allowed this to happen.
What I meant by that is, I have allowed my self to be set up by disappointment, by taking care of everyone,but me, by being considerate of everyone but me, by valuing everyone elses issues and feelings but that of my own.
I am trying to find my way back to me and that inter strength I need to rebuild my life so late in my life. You have validated my own thoughts about myself and I pray to god to take over my fears and weaknesses, so that I may do what is needed.
Its funny as I read your post to me this morning I thought to myself when you said "(perhaps that Lovers card is going to turn out to be you making the decision to let go of your boyfriend until he can come to you with more certainty about his position...hmm...), " I had already come to that decision last night before I went to bed. You saying this only validated and supported my thoughts. So thank you once again.
I am so sorry that you too are going through the same thing basically that I am. I wouldn't wishes these circumstances on anyone. Please know my thoughts and good wishes are with you as well. It was good of you to come here to share a little of your story and show me such kindness.
I think the emotional issues or attachments to my home are a big part of my stress level. With the uncertainty of where I will go and how I will live.
Of course life would be easier, if my relationship with my bf was on a different level then it is and I will not lie or kid myself that it doesn't hurt to not have hinm even offer to allow me to at least temporarily stay with him, until I can get my own place. When I know that if he needed that option I would do it for him and anyone else that I cared about.
Calm is what I strive for, for if I can be-still my anxiety from the stress and keep my emotions from taking over, I know no matter what comes, I will survive it. That in its self is my biggest problem. I have low blood sugar, so it effects me, among some other issues with health that involves hormones. So I am a challenge within myself to overcome. LOL
To all who has responded to me, thank you, I am deeply and sincerely grateful and moved by your kindness and caring. I will be around here as long as I can be. Because I do need this kind of positive and uplifting support, with all the insightful advise. It really has and does help me.
You have the strength to survive this phase..it will pass.Take care of your health...lots of love and prayers.Hugs!
Thank you eminencily for your belief in me and your words of encouragement and inspiration. I will survive, I know this. It just has taken me a while to pull my boots strings up and move on with what really needs to happen. I have been stuck in a mode of grief and dispear for a year and a half and it's really time for me to stop it!
Your getting the same answers that you got back before the holidays and you need to put all of our efforts to good use. Make something happen because you can.
yes i know, thats exactly what i am doing. some answers have changed and some things have become more intense, sense before the holidays, but i am learning to cope and re-evaluate myself and my emotions. I needed some additional validation and support to see this through for me. I think it has been a healthy harmonious sense of support for me to have this thread as an update to things that have changed sense before the holidays.
This forum has helped me get over those humps that I didn't believe to I would be able to over come. This current thread I started, has really seen me through this part of my journey back to finding me and what is inside of me, to make me feel complete within myself, without depending on someone else to make me, who I really am. If that makes sense to anyone other then in my own head. LOL I am no longer blue, whinny and depressed as I was, just a few days ago. My starting this thread has allowed me to really focus on me. I know, that may not make any sense to anyone else, but it doesn't have to, as long as it makes sense to me and it helps me to dig into the inner person that I am and can be. We all have our own ways of dealing with issues and tragedies in our lives, it isn't the way the road is traveled, but what is waiting at the end of it, that matters. At least that is my thoughts on it. Because of those few who answered this thread, I am no longer scared, nor do I feel alone and without hope and that to me is priceless and I hope if at any time that I need to turn to this forum again, or perhaps even daily, if need be, I can and it will help and there will not be a shortage to those who would converse with me, in my times of need.
I wanted to thank you again for your support and kindness, it has really done wonders for me. The reading helped me validate what I was already thinking to put into motion.
So that really made a big difference for me.
Since I started this thread, I have been able to do a lot of soul searching without anxiety and it is in part to do with those who responded to me, in this thread here.
I may even ask for someone to talk to me again, as long as I am able to have an internet connection. Not to impose of course to help me to clarify in my mind what it is I am thinking or even doing to improve my life. Absolutely positive thinking plays a good roll in my journey, but there is so much more to it that has to be included with it, to make things click and work. At least for me it's that way. LOL
Please know that I am humbly and compleyely grateful to you.
That's really good to hear. That's what we want to hear when we all struggle to get through the lessons and hard times. You don't learn anything unless you go through hard stuff. It's all that everyone expects that even in everyday junk we see that keep moving forward with a positive step and drawing better days to us. The laws of attraction have to be worked on or you get stuck in hardships the rest of your life. Information is wealth. Knowing what you can do to help yourself and knowing where to go for the answers. Not stopping until you find out what you need. That is what you need to do no matter who you are. Good luck on all the tomorrows. Smile and you'll feel better. Being thankful for what you still and no matter how small you think it is. And feeling blessed.
Kay Aries, I did your numerology and 2010 will be a 7 personal year for you. It's key words are rest and patience. It is a year of introspection and reflection, a time to analyze your thoughts and actions, and pursue studies of an intellectual or metaphysical nature that interest you. During this year you will want to explore life's deeper truths, either looking into philosophical matters or studying natural sciences. You will find yourself better able to solve problems, and come to a greater awareness of your full potential.
Let things come to you in a 7 year, as this is a year when thoughts and ideas materialize. It is a good year to carry out plans that don't require involvement from others, and a year to guard your personal "alone" time, so as to avoid feeling irritable. A time to get "centered", you may find that at times during this year you feel lonely and left out. The main lesson with a 7 is to learn to be alone without being lonely. It suggests the people around you last year were not always the most helpful or most able to give you what you need, and that you should listen to your own counsel, your own inner wisdom and guidance. By the end of 2010, you will likely be in a position to handle life with greater insight and efficiency.
Kay, instead of focusing on your losses, think of how much freedom from responsibility and time to do what you want is being given to you.This is a wonderful year to ask important questions like: What is my Life Purpose? What do I want my life to be like?
The year can provide understanding of one's inner nature, as well as development of intuitive abilities. Solitude is often needed in order to quiet the mind and get in touch with the heart of what really matters.
This is an excellent year to journal, which can assist you in tapping into your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. A wonderful technique is free-flow writing, where you journal at least three pages a day by writing down an unconscious flow of thoughts without censoring them. This will aid you in self-discovery, as well as help you access your inner wisdom.
Another most beneficial daily exercise is taking up meditation. This practice assists in helping you learn to listen to your heart and your inner voice. This will also help you develop your intuition and learn how to ground and center in the present moment. Taking time out for yourself can provide many benefits and give you an opportunity to become more aware.
Examine how much you worry. Worry is a sign that you're not in the present moment. Pay close attention to what your feelings want to tell you, rather than "spinning" in worry. You have your feelings for a reason. They can point you to what is important to you. Make a list of your essential values and needs. Ask yourself which of these are negotiable, and which are non-negotiable. Notice if you are out of integrity with any of the needs and values that you hold sacred, and if so, with whom or what. Then do whatever it takes to clean things up and bring your actions in alignment with your unique values and beliefs.
This is the year for asking yourself what areas of your life you would like to redefine. What skill would you like to perfect? This is a great time to begin learning a new vocation, skill, or hobby that will enhance the quality of your life. The year also wants to aid you in becoming more self-sufficient.
Take a sacred journey and go someplace that stimulates you spiritually. Go on a small outing or take a series of one-day events. You might want to travel to a sacred location. Sacred journeys can provide you with incredible insights and create a shift in your perceptions.
Attend a workshop, or join in a group event with others who are in alignment with your spiritual interests. In a Seven Personal Year, this can really assist in creating a greater degree of self-definition and self-trust.
Examine your sleep habits and make sure that you are getting enough rest. Your dream state may heighten this year, and it is important to give yourself space to explore your dreams. Also evaluate your health and nutrition, and make sure that you are taking steps towards preventative care.
Please feel free to contact me anytime you need to talk.Im not a psychic but if you need a friend Im there.Let me know if you need my email id.There are such wonderful people on this forum and some have helped me also with their words of wisdom and support.And yes its great that you are taking time to think for yourself,about your own needs.Take care..
Love and Light
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Hi Kay, just checking up on you here. You are in my thoughts, and I'm hoping that you are holding up well.