Some guidance please:-)
Hello There my friends,
I'm at a really restless stage in regards to my job, and would very much appreciate any insights you may be able to pass on to me.
I have worked as an integration aide at primary and secondary schools for about 7 years, up until a year ago, and for the last 2 years teaching adult literacy to long term unemployed adults and special needs (intellectually disabled) adults. I have enjoyed this work, and the hourly rate is great but there is so much extra work to prepare and assess in my own time that I'm not paid for, and I have only had 1 day of work a week last year. I'm yet to be told how many hours I'll have this year yet.
I'm anxious about how many hours I'll get, and anxious about the amount of unpaid hours this will therefore create. All this stress is taking the shine off the rewarding aspect of helping others to achieve their own goals, help them build confidence, enjoy learning and improve their life, which is the very thing I have enjoyed about this work. Meanwhile I'm feeling used, undervalued, I don't feel as though the extra effort I put in is acknowleged and definately not paid for the amount of work I do.
Will things improve this year if I just hang in there, or should I look for another job?
I was considering looking for work in a primary school, as I love helping the kids and I don't have to take work home with me, although the hourly rate is half of what I get for teaching adults.
I am currently studying to be a naturopath and about to start a permaculture course (organic gardening/sustainability) which I'm helping to develop at present. Perhaps I should look for a job at a health food shop or plant nursery? I'm completely inexperienced in both of these fields.
I'm all confused and anxious about what to do, because my decision will impact on me emotionally (stress levels), financially (definately stress levels) and there is also the consideration of fitting into a new environment, learning new procedures and being accepted, fitting in my study and getting my daughter to & from school.
I feel like I'm frozen, too scared to make a move in any direction in case it's the wrong one. However, I feel sick to my stomach at the prospect of living on such a tight budget yet again this year.
Also, I don't have any family support to help me, so I feel like it's all weighing on my oh-so-tense shoulders.
I would really appreciate any insights or advice as to what this year holds for me as far as work and finances are concerned, as well as being able to live up to whatever responsibilities my employment entails.
Thanking you all in advance for taking the time to consider my dilemma,
Ive been in that position more than once, and Ill ask this, do u feel like weeping before you go to work and weeping again more when you return home from work? if so pull the plug and pull out. As much as you will miss your clientell the load of demands from colleagues and expectations will only douple triple quadroople ( pardon spelling grammar ) and it as yo´ve said takes the shine of the good you get. Like a cloud blocking the sun.
best choise i made was, as much as ill miss my clients n the good work i do, i wont miss the demands and expectations no human can do. its takes superhuman to do all this, n none of us is. i´d look for another job where demands n expectations aint as high.
Good people like us tend to forget the marking lines of what we will tolerate.
Last, WitchWoman u have NOT failed at all. Uve done a hard job in shit circumstances, n u have stayed way past what is useal accepted by oneself. Hats off to ya. Im proud of u. This is saying u took on a hard lesson, u learnt it n mastered it. proud of u.
I totally agree with CWB. I was in a similar position....putting in so many extra hours just to keep up with a workload that would have kept TWO people busy full time and to top it off I was just scraping by with the salary. I was getting migraines all the time, feeling anxious....Not worth it. I like the idea of you working in a health food store or plant nursery....something that you really enjoy and won't have to take home with you. If you do what you really enjoy and in a positive environment where your time and energy is appreciated, i think the money will come in somehow. It always seems that if you are really happy and surrounded by a positive environment, no matter what you are doing, the rewards / money will come in. I don't know why. Maybe something to do with the law of attraction. I would take my time and really be picky about where you work next (if you do decide to leave your current job). When you go to interviews, remember that YOU are also interviewing THEM to see if you would like working with them. Also, even though you don't have prior experience in some of the jobs you are considering, if you are truly enthusiastic about the job, employers will see that and want to hire you...regardless how much experience you have. I always hear from people who do hiring that they look for an enthusiastic person over anything. Do something you enjoy and makes you feel happy. The stress is not worth it. You'll be ok. Let us know what you decide! xxxxxx lol!
CWB & Stonyeye,
Thanks for taking the time to reply, and thanks CWB for the comment of not failing the people, which is something I'm anxious about doing. Often in these jobs it does feel like a cloud is blocking the sun of trying to help disadvantaged ones, due to admin & not of enough support in the trenches, which is a real shame, for it's those very ones who need and appreciate your help who you feel you're letting down.
And SE, it does feel like I'm doing the work of two people and not getting paid for half of it, or even some acknowledgement!
I am currently on the lookout for something I don't have to take home with me; it's the fear of not earning enough & job security that's holding me back too. However, that was an interesting point you made about things turning out, I spose I have to trust in the Universe to take care of things and trust that I will be guided & taken care of.
I really do value everyones imput here, I feel that's guidance too - being led to this forum for objective insights from sincere, caring cyber sisters!
I'll keep you posted!xxxx
WitchWoman can you do your regular teaching job if you really love it that much and also be on a subsitute teacher list? So if someone is sick they call to get another teacher. If your doing something else that day and don't want to go you can say no. Or if you feel it's too far to travel you may say no. But in the meantime take another job that you would dearly love to do, either and inside job or an outside job. And work with them to do it part time.I myself would work outside to replenish my energy with the plants and soil. After a high stress job it will help to balance you out. Just a suggestion but you could try to keep your chakras in balance that way.
LibrasLair has an excellent suggestion. I did the tutoring thing as well then was the head of an aftercare program for five years--got very burned out and couldn't let go as my employer and the other teachers kept pulling me back and I too kept feeling a bit guilty for leaving my kids as I had mostly the same group for years. What happens when you don't let go when your inner voice says you should life will intervene! I ended up slipping at home and falling hard enough to get a concussion and couldn't work for awhile--it scared me so bad that I prayed hard to never be wishy washy again and listen to my body when it needs rest. I took a long break then went back as a substitute on call so I had the option to work or not. This arangement also leaves you room for other part time adventures. Think about it.