No one in my life listens
People in my life, even those I have just met, confide in me and ask for advice. I love helping friends, loved ones, and anyone in need of advice, and I never betray confidences. The problem is, no one in my life--not even my boyfriend or my mom--will listen when I need help or wish to share something. After I advise someone and try to ask or say something, they rotate the conversation back to themselves and ask about something else. Usually I forget what I wanted to say (until later) and just listen and talk about them. I feel so disrespected and lately don't feel like listening to anyone, and I hate this feeling. I'm at a loss as to how to get them to listen and feel so hurt and angry, but at the same time, don't want to hurt anyone. How can I get them to listen to me as well but not hurt their feelings? Any advice is appreciated.
Hello, Good day JuneMoon,
Gorgeous Day & Sunshine this morning,...
I understand your dilemma with your insensitive family... & your situation here is rather a simple solution, when family is not listening and are changing topics....
You have that choice to walk away & not communicate with them for a while .....
Allow & give it time for your family & BF to t come to you !!! & when they do, You can then Speak up & voice your feeelings at how much you feel so disrespected, by them...!! & then from there, hopefully they'll learn to listen & to be patient & better humans at listening & accepting some of your wise advise(s)..... xoxo
I HOPE THIS HELPED TO CALM & TO EASE YOUR WOUNDED HEART (l)
Thanks so much, MilleFeori. You are absolutely right. Next time they do not listen I will walk away and resolve things when they come to me...and I know I have to tell my boyfriend soon that he needs to listen more, that I can't always only listen to him. It's true that a solution can't be found when they don't know there's a problem! Thank you, MilleFeori!
Your very welcome, I pray & ask all angels to shed their light of understanding & clarity of mind to know what is true & what is just... (L)
& also angels they be near you to protect & to heal !!!!
You know, Junemoon, you may have to be a bit blunt with people and maybe they'll get the clue. When people call you wanting to talk about their problems, be polite but firm and just say to them, "I'm sorry, but I've got some things of my own to deal with right now, and can't really talk." Real friends will be interested and want to listen and help you out. If you don't take a stand, what's going to happen is that you're going to end up being like a sponge and absorbing all their negativity, and then being unable to get rid of it, because nobody will listen to you. You need to come first for yourself. If you have things that need to be dealt with, then you're not going to be able to focus on them or even deal with them if you're expending your energy on other people's problems. It's great that you're so sweet and a good listener, and a good friend, but please do consider your own needs, too. I was just like you when I was younger, and I found that pretty soon, I was feeling just as frustrated as you, and that my problems weren't being dealt with. I also got to the point where I'd roll my eyes and groan whenever those energy vampire people came around. I was tired a lot from being there for them and not being there for me, and while their problems seemed to be getting fixed, mine weren't, and were, in fact, piling up. It's okay to be there for yourself, it's not being selfish or mean to others. It's being true to yourself and to your needs. You can't move forward for yourself if you become mired down in the needs of others.
And if you need to talk, believe me, there are a lot of ears here who will listen and offer you advice from the heart!
As I was reading Junemoon's post, I could empathize with her due to the fact, I am sorta been there for some time now myself. I am in a place in my life I could use some help, I have and usually am if someone needs the listening ear, or a babysitter, or whatever, I am here to help.
Well I am feeling drained. Our Mother passed in 08, real Dad 08 as well got that news about 6 months ago. I kept helping and now I am drained, depressed do not know, it seems my abilities to read are off somewhat. Some people when I tell them no. is something I learned to do in the past couple of months just donot get it, They look at me like what's wrong with you. Now that I need help, I sit here alone (not completly alone we have 2 cats)and donot know what to do. My daughter refuses to accept that my depression is real or my spiritual gifts. I have had people like get over it, they are gone. Thank you for allowing me to share this and any insight you may have. Since, my adopted Dad passed in 04, I have had a best friend pass, about 30 people friends , family and accquaintces pass away. This is the lowest I have felt through all of this.
Love & Light
Good Day To All.... Blessings & Angels love & light (((((( LibraSunshine )))))) Hunn you are not alone & we all share a path somewhat similar,
I have to let go of allot of held onto draining emotions.... That keeps me in a lower Vibrational sad(er mood .... At The Moment ( I ) & along my entre family, have been dealing with a very stubborn family member, who has chosen to take a path in her life (( a most dangerous path ))))
we have spoken & given her proof to what she is messing with
& to allow her to make her very best decision which we hope might help her to choose wisely..
I Bet You are asking What does this have anything to do with your own situation.....
It has allot of the same meaning, that people whomever they might be & whatever struggles or conflicts they seem to be in..... these people famil- friends- or strangers- will not listen - nor take advise or guidance .. BUT only when they feel it is best for them...
I wonder why people family or not- choose to go throught the Hll-ish experiences FIRST- When family are around to help & to protect.... !!!!
I am so sorry for your loss of your dear parents & of step dad... With all of my deepest condolances & sympathy for you & yours... (L)(L)(L)
HI Again !!!
Wanted to offer much love & light to all of our BN spiritual brothers & sisters who have recently passed !!!!!!
((( Hugs Dear LibraSun- )))
I feel so sad ~~~ We know that our beloved are in a safe & happier place... they are smiling dancing singing- OK-physically we no longer see them -- BUT spiritually we know they are near WE hear them louder than ever before... Am I Right.... :):)
Thanks so much, Darkness angel and you are absolutely right. I have been absorbing negativity for a long time now and I guess I just got to the point where I couldn't stand it. I'm just going to tell people when I need time for myself.
I'm really angry at my boyfriend because I've been there for him SO much, when he was in the hospital I was there visiting him almost every day; I spent hours on the phone with him discussing his issues with his family. I didn't even think anything of it because I knew he'd be there for me. When I'm sad or need to talk, he blows me off, saying how bad things are for him. I'm just going to have to bluntly tell him how I feel because he hasn't been getting the message.
Thanks again to everyone.