Did my Cancer guy really say to me?!!

  • My Cancer guy is always making little backhanded hurtful comments. Sometimes I think he doesn't think before he speaks. It's like getting a peak into his head and seeing what he really thinks about me. This morning he was on his way to work. I am about to start working there and he say," I'm trying to prepare for you coming there. You are pretty good looking and have a pretty good body. I know people will be giving you a lot of flack. I still want to share my work life with you too. " Ummmm.... okay? Sometimes he is jealous and sometimes not. Most the time not but out of the blue he will go off , all the while making comments that make me feel like he just settled for me. He used to go on about how perfect his ex's were.... until I met them. He shut up. Everyone says I am the best he has ever had. Not to hear him tel it! Has anyone else had problems with their Cancer making not so nice comments or consonantly being compared and not in a good way?

  • I used to do that to my ex and she's a pisces too. We tend to be ensure and don't even know it especially in relationships. We playout emotional mind games with ourselves and usually immaturely act them out. Cuz of how we hurt so easily we tend to try and hurt others we love especially with emotional rollercoaster rides. He's going to have to dig deep within himself to over come that type of behavior, because believe me when I tell you, It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

  • CancerM,

    I hate to ask this but I wonder then if you could impart some wisdom on my post from yesterday: sticky situation...pisces woman/cancer man? I would love some male perspective on the nature of my messed up "friendship" with a Cancer male! Thanks a bunch!

  • He says he is sure he wants to be with me. Several of his ex's have looked him up and he blew them off. He says he loves me because I accept him as he is. I expect the same in return! We have been together for well over a decade. He has had many chances to leave but continues to stay. People say when I am not around all he talks about is me. He really loves me. Everyone thinks we have this fairy tale relationship. Grimm's Fairy Tale maybe! haha If you don't mind me asking, how long were you with your Pisces and why didn't it work out? This little fish is about ready to swim away although I love this man more than my own life and have been in love with him since I was 6. We were friends long before we were a couple. You think maybe he is mad at me because I told him last night that our relationship was a mistake and I short changed myself? (Long story) I have put up with things out of him that no sane woman would ever consider. I'm getting tired of the digs on my looks. I've been told that my looks make him insecure. I'm not being conceded when I say I can shut a room down when I walk in. He complains that he can't take me out because to many guys hit on me. I don't invite it. I stay stuck to him like glue. If I make him insecure then why all the negative comments? He's told me guys are only interested in me for one thing before. Then he turns around and complains that people like me more than him. I'm so confused! He has really tore down my self esteem. 😞

  • first question, how long has it been a full on Relationship? you told a guy that you think the Relationship was a mistake?? wow, im not a cancer, im a Sag male, but i would be very upset after hearing you say that to me, esspecially after you guys have been friends for so long and probably after you have been there for him for alot of years. you feel like you want to leave him when you love him more than our own life? im sorry but if i loved someone that much, they would have to cheat on me to make me finally let go of them. and you ready to leave cause he's jealous? ever had a talk with him about his comment to you? tell him how he makes you feel when he does? if you havent, i think you should. BUT he did say "you are pretty good looking and have a pretty good body" i can understand why you feel he just settled for you, the words "pretty good" if he loves you like everyone says he does, it should sound like "you have an amazing body" not just pretty good, but heres another thing, i think everyone can agree that confidence is S-ex-y, but maybe when you say things that sound like your TOO confident in your looks, it probably makes him feel like "well she knows she can have anyone that she wants, so why is she with me?"...........i think he wants you to not be overly confindent, and maybe him calling you "pretty good" is a way he feels he can lower it just a bit, to where you dont over do it, and since you know your looks make him insecure, why not try to reassure him alot of the time? maybe say something like "you think i could have any guy i want dont you? well maybe i could but it would only because of my looks, but no, im with you cause i love you and you love me for being me and thats what i want"

    i think thats pretty good if i dont say so myself lol ahhh yep im good , j/k but seriously, i shall wait for your response haha, take care

  • Thanks for your reply. I'm so confused that I feel like maybe I should get out of my head and get some outside perspective. We've been together for about 15 years. I don't go around tooting my own horn. I know it sounds that way but I don't ever mention it. I was offered several modeling contracts as a bikini model and I'm pretty sure they didn't offer them to me for my personality. I still look almost exactly like I did when I married him. LOL I turned them down because he said he couldn't be with a girl who puts herself out there like that. My sister is an adult model BTW. I said that to him because he always lets me know that if things didn't happen the way they did we wouldn't be together. I am not thinking of leaving him because he is jealous. I'm thinking of leaving him because he makes me feel like he thinks lowly of me sometimes. First he told me he would never marry me.... then asked me to marry him and started an affair with one of my family members. That was after he was with me for a summer and went home only to come back and announce his engagement to another girl. All the while telling everyone we are just friends. I paid for that chicks ring.When I confronted him he said I was just jealous of her and wished I could be like her. That went on with all of our pregnancies. He is always telling me how he was in love with this ex and that ex. Even my family member who he cried on my shoulder how she done him wrong and he loved her 8 years after their affair ended. He is always making little backhanded comments to put me down. I keep telling him that if he doesn't love me to just leave. He will find someone else and so will I. He swears he loves me and that I am the love of his life but he sure has a funny way of showing it. I even tried to make him mad enough to leave. After his affair with my family member ( one of several) I leaned on one of my ex's for support. I would even get him up out of bed and tell him I was leaving with x. Yet he stays. He told me that if I ever got pregnant he was gone. When I did I told him I would help him pack his **** and he refused to go. Ironically, he is a great dad! He would leave for weeks at a time in our marriage without so much as a phone call and then would end up in jail with cops all the way around our house when I tried to kick him out. And now he has bought a new house but won't put my name on the deed. He wants me to sign any rights I have to it away. I've tried to talk to him about all this. He tells me what he thinks I want to hear and then it goes back to the same old ***. When it's good , it's good. When it's bad, Betty bar the door! I had a guy harassing me once and he asked me not to make him mad because the guy did favors for him and helped him out with things. It goes back and forth between I can't get out of his sight to I sk as a person. He never comes flat out and says he thinks badly of me but makes little comments. I feel really stupid now that I'm saying it to someone else. He doesn't do the disappearing act anymore. Just his shy comments for now and letting me know that he would be okay with me buying a place of my own as long as I rent it out and stay here with him. All through all of this he tells me and everyone else I am his soul mate. Is he for effin' real? I feel like he thinks he's had better and he doesn't want to offer any real commitment or stability. He says and does some very confusing and contradictory things in his words and actions. I do love him but I am not looking to have a nervous breakdown. He says the only person he has loved more than me is his mother. Go figure! He came home not to long ago and I had my stuff packed. When I stated my issue he immediately made attempts to fix it. Not a small issue and I was sure he would let me leave. Now back to the comments. Errrr! I have stuck by him through some pretty rough stuff but I'm about done. Every time I put myself out there for him it blows up in my face. He says maybe he doubts me too much. Say what? I can't see how he loves me when he says some of the things he does. He can't understand my point of view. He has told me how sorry he was for doing some of the things he done in the past but his actions tell me he still has no respect for me. He knows I would never leave him for anyone else. Maybe that is why he thinks he can get away with all of this. I would give a thousand pretty words for a moment of truth. If his little comments is how he really feels about me then I wish he could grow some ***** and come out and say it and not try to back peddle when I call him on it. I've gave him my youth and I am not giving him anything else until he proves he's worth it . Right now I am having my doubts.

  • hmmm, well all this back story on his past, with an affair etc... i think he clearly doesnt know what he has, he kinda sounds like the typical guy as-sh-ole if you ask me, im only 22 and im the nice sensitive guy last finishes last, so im single and never had a Relationship before, but ive been around with all my buddies relationship problems, so i think im more wise for my lack of experience lol i know really dont know what to tell you, i think we need to get other women in here to give you a response, cause you have a reason to have your doubts, and i dont think i can be of that much help, all i can say is that you need to tell him everything you have said on here, if you havent already, if you have told him everything that you have said on here, and he STILL doesnt get the hint that he needs to stop being jealous, and he needs to stop his little comments to you, he cant get over being insecure, and also its obvious i think that he has TRUST issues, and i think trust is probably the biggest thing to have in a Relationship, he just needs to get over it and you tell him that you are completely devoted to him, and he still has his doubts, i dont know what it will take to make him change, maybe you should REALLY move out, or leave him, not divorce him, but just make a statement to him that you are not gonna take his crap anymore and he needs to stop, something powerful enough to make him change his ways cause if he loves you as much as everybody says, he should do come around full circle. take care

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