Sticky situation...pisces woman/cancer man



  • Okay, so I wouldn't normally ask a forum about something like this because I am sure I will probably get blasted but I am at a loss as to what to do.

    I have been married for 10 years to a "true Scorpio" and he's hurt me repeatedly. I left him this past summer and stayed gone for 4 months. During this time, I reconnected with a very dear friend, a Cancer male. He and I have always had an amazing friendship and we talk everyday. I have tried to break ties with this friend, as I returned to my "scorpion" and am trying to make it work. The problem is that as much as I love my husband, I am also seriously attracted, in every way to the Cancer friend. Everyone who has ever seen us together somewhere swears there is a connection that is intense and not "just friends". My Cancer male friend and I have discussed this and all I get is an "I don't know right now" when I try to get my crab to tell me what he thinks of a possible relationship beyond what we have. We were exploring the idea of a strictly sexual relationship added to our friendship while I was separated from my husband but an ex of his, a Capricorn came back into the picture and they are now "trying to work things out". I just don't see it happening though...

    She broke his heart a long time ago and he carries that pain still to this day? My question is: if leaving him alone is not an option and honestly, neither of us can let the other go; how do I get this Cancer to admit his true feelings to me. He does things that are confusing and says things that turn this Pisces' dreams into fantasies. Any help would be extremely appreciated.



  • I'm starting to think that Capricorns mean death to a relationship with a Cancer! My Cancer guy and I are still together because I have stayed with him and put up with everything. I wish I had some answers for you. I'm in a similar boat. 😞



  • I just read your post, piscesparadox, and I am sorry that a Cappy is giving you fits too. I really am not liking these women (no offense to anyone here) because this Cappy hurt my friend so deeply that he has been unable to commit to any female since she ripped him apart. To think he is giving her another chance to do so; it drives me batty, I tell you. I hope you and I both get the answers we seek. I have nothing to offer you either but an ear to listen 😞



  • My Cappy happens to be a family member that I can't get away from. Every time I look up she is there! 😞 My Cancer hubby had ex's he used to throw up in my face all the time. I just told him that if I couldn't be the tablecloth, I wouldn't be the dishrag. Maybe you should show him the same. let him know that you WILL cut him out of your life. that's what I did. He put me through the wringer until he saw I meant business. It took me eight years to get thought to him and I'm still unsure. I think before anyone dates a cancer they should have a good therapist! My Mom, husband and daughter are all cancers.



  • This relationship you have sounds beauitiful and so very promising but right now it could be bad timing. I feel that you both have issues to work through concerning your exes, not just your friend but you as well. I think some more time taken just to be friends and reconnect with yourselves first and foremost would be a better idea. Definitely the capricorn woman sounds wrong for him just as you found your husband to be wrong for you and there is certainly potential for the future in this relationship.

    But I do think that wounds are still raw on both sides and there are lots of issues to work through, lots of things to be straightened out first. Timing is everything with relationships, put your wishes out to the universe and then stay strong and take each day as it comes, don't hold your breath waiting for this relationship but enjoy what it is at the moment. Anything else will come in time, this is a strange world we live in, things can change in an instant!

    Just my twopennorth, hope that helps somehow,

    Another Pisces! xx



  • There's a major eclipse happening that'll really effect the cancer sign. Eclipes make things happen. They tend to either make or break a situation... it's funny you posted that you want him to admit his feelings for you, because judging by the way my Cancer's being right now- he's very tight lipped, thinking of what'll make him happy. He complained that I wasn't giving him as much attention or affection as he needs (this was Monday night), so I rushed over to his place, embraced him and told him how much he meant to me; he proceeded by giving me a hard time about how I did this and that in the past blah blah.... after my confession of my feelings, NOTHING! You'd think he'd say he felt the same way, but after I gushed with many tears, I got a smile and he told me things are fine now. WHAT?!??! Not fine! I need reassurance too! I suppose they're not in the 'mood' right now, until they're ready. Mercury's still in retrograde.

    By the way, I STILL don't know how he wants me to show more attention and affection....



  • Piscesparadox: Well, the thing is because of the Scorpio husband, I actually let this friendship dwindle to nothingness or so I thought. I was playing around on MySpace one day and found this friend of mine there, emailed him and within just a couple of chat sessions, it was as if nothing had changed. Our bond was still as strong as ever and it was amazing that after 10 years of non-communication, we still could read each other like open books. I find him to be the most stimulating person I know. He is such a dear friend that trying to cut him out of my life again is like amputating an arm or leg. He is that important to me. He says I am the same to him but this Cappy just won't go away.

    PiscesPanties: I have pretty much come to the same conclusion that both of us are trying to deal with our past hurts and it just rips me up to see him letting himself fall back in love with his ex. She was a pain to me before because of him and it seems like she is going to be that way again. ARRGGHH!!! I want his happiness for him above anything else and if I thought, for one second, she could give him that, I would offer my blessing. I just have that gut instinct that says it is going to be a case of history repeating itself. But I definitely will take your advice and enjoy what the relationship is NOW. He is my best friend and there's something there; just can't figure out exactly what THAT is. Thanks for the advice and btw, love the screen name! 🙂

    KarmaCutie: Don't you just love the many "moods" of these men? NOT!!! Yeah, they want us to admit how we feel; break down and shed tears, give them all the reassurance we can but when we ask for the same, it's a "I don't know what to tell you" (hate that answer, really truly do) or " I don't know what to say" (just as annoying). Sounds to me like this crab is being CRABBY and you are unfortunately the target. Gotta love it, I tell you! Well, let's get this eclipse over with so our moody cancers will go back to be their loving selves. Are you with me?



  • Crystal--

    If this Cancers Saturn is retrograde, don't expect him to wreck your home... Odds are almost certain that he wants to make you as happy as possible, and gets no greater satisfaction in doing so, and he loves you very much; his "i don't know right now" attitude is most likely due to him being torn between his heart, and his awareness of your situation and not wanting to violate that. Ive found that almost nothing is stronger than a Cancer-Pisces bond; theres unwavering strength in every corner of this pair, and most likely he loves you so much that he wouldn't want to cause any trouble for you with your marriage. Its possible he may not admit that he loves you because maybe to him, this may be the point of no return; i.e. the point where things will get shaken up enough for you to cause an issue in your marriage, and he doesn't want to see you go through that pain; however Ive found that between Cancer and Pisces, theres absolutely no need for one to say I love you to the other to know that the love and passion within that relationship is unmatched by anything else.



  • Duke,

    WOW! You seem to know a lot about this pairing of Pisces-Cancer. He actually has told me that with me, there's something about me that makes him feel very strongly about me (as friends). He did say that before I left my husband, he didn't want to mess me up in any way. His exact words were, "You are dearer to me than most because of how we are" and I get what he means because we do have a bond that is unlike any other I have ever had with anyone else. It's the oddest thing, we've been friends for 14 years and since I am 28, that's half of my life. We do have a relationship that, when we have to try and define it, "goes beyond love, friendship, anything you have ever had with anyone else and unless you have it, there's no words for it". It is the most confusing thing I have ever experienced. I love my Scorpio husband but am drawn to my Cancer friend in a way that not even my Scorp can touch. In the course of the friendship with the Cancer, he took the time to get the know me in a way that no one else has cared to do. I was put through a lot as a child and really do not trust others but even when he was 16, he wanted me as his friend for some unknown reason and had to have that bond, refused anything less. Now here we are 12 years later and there is all of the original stuff plus a new awareness of each other. It's so intense and exciting that I can't help but want more of the same. I would love for you to discuss this with me further. Your insight into this relationship is refreshing... Thank you so very much!



  • Im glad my insights were useful to you... I am currently experiencing almost the exact same situation as you are, and its just as amazing to me as it is to you... i feel like I couldnt stop it if I wanted to... I feel like our souls are magnets for each other, and the closer we get in proximity the harder the pull, and one cannot resist the other... I believe we have more than one soul mate out there, and I believe I've found one of mine... you've probably found one of yours too... I've known several Pisceans, and while theres a strong pull with all of them, the one with this one im feeling now is way stronger than anything I've ever experienced in terms of a relationship... the magnetism is just unbelievable...



  • Cryatal0227> it, "goes beyond love, friendship, anything you have ever had with anyone else and unless you have it, there's no words for it"

    That is exactly how I feel about my Cancer hubby! He says a lot of our problems were cause by immaturity in the past. He told me that from the time I was 14 , he knew I was the one. Even when we were kids we could stay up all night long and talk. Nothing else existed when we were together. He told me that the longer we are together , the stronger our bond grows. I really feel that I only have one soul mate and he is it. i could never put anyone above him. All the years we've had together and all the terrible things that has happened between us has never changed my love for him even when I want to run away! it is the most intense love I have ever felt for anyone in my life. Your story is an interesting one Crystal. I hope it ends in a happy ending! Sometimes timing is bad even when the feeling is there. I wonder if that's what happened to my hubby and I sometimes. We hadn't grew up yet. It seems like no matter what happens we can't let each other go.

    Duke,

    Being as you are a Cancer male ,us Pisces females would love to hear some more of your imput! Some of the most intense and lasting loves I've ever known have been between Pisces and Cancer now that I think about it. A family member of mine ( Pisces) fell for a girl (Cancer)who died before they could marry. He has never loved anyone since and she died 20 years ago. He still talks about her.



  • Duke,

    I also believe we have more than one soul mate but the "twin flame" is what I feel like this man is for me. We both have the feeling we have known each other before and there is NO WORDS to describe the electricity that pops between us. It has always been there but I was only 14 years old and him 16 so we had no clue what to do with that. He scared me because of how much I was drawn to him. Up until the day I met him, I could push anyone out of my life without a second thought; I was called the "ice queen" in school because I was so cold to people. I didn't trust anyone but instinctively knew I could him. He became my best friend by going through every test I gave him and blew away every obstacle I put up to keep him at bay. Before I even realized what happened, it was essential that he was in my life. I never thought about anything but friendship with him because he was my "protector" and he watched over me and taught me to let people get close to me. Then I met my Scorpio husband and his jealousy was too much for me to deal with over my Cancer. I let my friend go...

    Last June, I happened to find him online and we started talking. We were still just as connected and as close but there was another element to the relationship that had not been there before. I felt so drawn to him physically, it was like I could not stay away from him. I saw him and the minute he hugged me, I started shaking with the intensity of it. It blew us both away that we looked at each other as more than what we were. It is strange but I love the change.

    Piscesparadox: The bond I share with my Cancer is one of those things that is truly unexplainable and trust me, on a rare occasion where we discuss it, neither of us can really understand why we feel like we do. It's just what it is between us and we enjoy the relationship. Our arguments are short-lived and we get each other in ways that others cannot get either of us. I hope we both get our happy endings. Good luck to you with you moody Cancer too!



  • LOL In school they called me " Hit and Run" because I had a hard time committing to anything or one. I have a hard time trusting people. Maybe it's a Pisces thing? I trusted my Cancer. Maybe that is the reason I was so blindsided by his affairs. It seems like there isn't too many people out there who I can make a " real" connection with. If you feel a real connection with this Cancer friend then don't give it up.



  • Maybe it is a Pisces' thing then. Trusting people is my biggest hardship. It took me a long time to trust anyone or anything, even my own instincts. My Cancer was a big part of why I was capable of a committed relationship with my Scorpio which he apologizes for failing me on that part. LOL I feel the same about a "real connection" because although a lot of people are drawn to me, I am not drawn to many. I can be "friends" with others but on my terms, not theirs. I only let certain people into my head, heart, and only one into my soul. I can't handle the thought of someone hurting me again. I spent the majority of my teen years dealing with an issue from my childhood that nearly destroyed me. My Cancer was the first person I told about the problems I had. It cemented that bond we have and there's no way that I will let him go again. He told me just last night, he wasn't letting me go either - he was so hurt by the way I disappeared (imagine the irony in that statement with a Cancer lol).



  • hey, be nice!! I'm a Cappy gal and i LOVE my Cancer baby!!!! We aren't ALL evil!! : ) He seems quie happy 🙂



  • Capgirl, I would never imply that all cappys are evil... Just the ones that I know, lol. 😉 It is my personal situation that makes me upset.



  • thanks 🙂 I love reading these blogs...I have an update though...CAPS are VERY MEAN if you cross us after we trust you! LOL

    My Cancer turned out to be a big liar. He travels alot for work and turns out that he traveled to one state so much because he has a WIFE there! OMG! How horrible...After some questioning & research, I find that she is a Pisces...Now, I love Pisces peeps, always pretty nice. BUT

    If the connection between Pisces woman and Cancer men what makes them stray? Are Cancer rmen just cheaters by nature?? this was my first one. He even had the nerve to ask me not to leave him when I found out about the wife????? WTF? Do ya'll really put up with this crap from men b/c you're so nice? Do you have a mean side? I cannot comprehend, is it my sign? Caps I know aren't capable of taking this kind of mess - including myself - we need honest, trustworthy companions that dont take kindness for weakness.

    In order to ensure that he NEVER contacts me again, I sent his wife a VERY detailed letter to let her know what he's up to when he is here - he lives in my state most of the year. Is that why you say CAPs are evil, we believe in payback? If so, I'm OK with that b/c I was good & very loving towards him - hence him asking me to stay. Just sharing...peace & luv : )



  • As a Pisces, I was warned. Water, water everywhere .. be careful not to drown.

    When I met my Cancer man, it was simply magnetic. From the instant we met, we felt as though we were intertwined and destined to meet. We were a couple for two and a half years before the negative sides of our magnetism became too overbearing. His jealousy and insecurities, combined with our cultural differences, would rear it's ugly head and divide us mentally. But only mentally. Nine months after the break-up, we still meet for dinner every few Fridays and still spend occasional time on the telephone. We can't stay away from each other. One or both of us wants to get back together at any given time, even though we both know the damage we can cause. One of us always has to step back and remind us both the power we have to hurt one another.

    When apart, we both feel as though a huge chunk of ourselves is missing. When we meet for lunch, dinner, social situations, etc. the magnetism is still vibrant. Though only friends now, we still hold hands. We kiss. We talk about how we don't make ourselves emotionally available to other people, but follow it up with pep-talks on the importance of remaining hopeful that we can each find someone who makes us want to give as much of ourselves again. It's as if we walk a fine line between blessing and curse that we found one another.

    This bond is metaphysical and almost cruel, but I wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the world. If there is a such thing as a soul mate .. he's mine.



  • omg..these cancer men! My cancer guy and I had a fight. We didnt talk for a few days and then I texted him and said I wanted to get everything straightened out. He called me. When I brought up the question I wanted to know the answer to he FREAKED out. He got really defensive and started cursing and saying my question was stupid and that it was "whack" and that I was just trying to get cool points and look good for other people...omg. It was horrible. I couldnt believe he would talk to me that way. It hurt so bad! It was so bad that I told him to forget the whole damn thing and hung up in his face. I then texted him and said I would never ever forgive him for talking to me like that, our relationship was over, that he was a liar from the beginning, that he was turning into a mean and bitter person and if he didnt get his life together he was gonna end up with no one because he keeps pushing away the people he loves. I told him to lose my number because I was erasing him from my life. He called me about an hour after that, and I ignored his call and texted him to leave me alone. I know he's been having some stresses lately, and I think that may have something to do with how he reacted to me because he has NEVER spoken to me like that before, but i feel that its no excuse for treating someone you say you love in that way. He was very disrespectful of my feelings. Very. I feel like I should keep him out of my life. At least until he apologizes and even then it will take a while for me to trust him again. I just dont want to talk to him and I think even if I dont, if he's sincere he'll find a way to apologize. I just dont know what to think anymore.



  • Well I had a relationship with a cancer once, and he was going out behind my back, until I found out. Than that was the end. Good luck with cancers.