Pisces and Cancer torn apart by a Cappy?
I've been married to a Cancer guy for a lot of years now. In the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me with my Capricorn family member. I still have the love letters he wrote her. I stayed even after I found out because he is the only guy I have ever loved. He says we are soul mates and things like that but I am still trying to get over the fact that he told her he loves her. She is newly single and I'm worried they will start up again. Their relationship ended because she ended it. He has tried everything to show me that I am the one but I still have doubts. He still breaks his neck looking at her every time she walks by. He claims he hates her now ( She was the one who told me and he said this to someone else) but I am still stinging from comments he made saying I was just jealous of her and wished I could be like her. I have no idea why he stayed in our marriage when he thought so much more of her than me. I'm still catching him in one lie after another ( in his benefit of course) and this has been going on over 10 years! Will he ever get over her? Every time I try to end things he begs me to stay. I am the mother of his children and he can't have any more. He swears that he will never love anyone else the way he loves me ( I doubt that haha). Is he just hanging on to me because he can't have her? He says he will never give me a divorce. Typical Cancer?
PP, other people don't ruin a relationship. If it wasn't the Cappy, it would have been someone else. If someone strays, it's because they are not getting what they need from their primary relationship. Maybe you should sit your husband down and ask him what he really wants, why he looks to other people, get him to be honest even if it hurts. Perhaps he wants more excitement, the thrill of a love affair, or maybe more attention. Or maybe he doesn't feel attractive to you? I did a compatibility analysis for you two. Now I'll look at you each on an individual basis for clues.
You PP are here to learn about trust and to release the feeling of being a victim. Pessimism, isolation and personal touchiness are your biggest stumbling blocks. Try to dismantle the defense mechanisms that keep you belligerant or withdrawn. Find the courage to express what you feel and need, rather than holding back. There is a danger you will develop a chronically negative outlook on emotional interactions that may be wrongly expressed as aggression or depression. You have a strong inclination to burying your sensitivity beneath a mountain of professional ambitions and domestic to the detriment of your emotional development. responsibilities. You tend to swing from the extremes of dependence and independence and need to find a better balance.
Yet you are an unusual person who can set aside your defences and come to better understand that so-called emotional scars are at best mere descriptions of past disappointments, and are neither immutable facts nor inescapable conclusions. You must believe you are a good judge of character. Learn to give without being taken advantage of. Trust in life and a Higher power. Use your intuitive psychic ability with discernment. Nurture your physical side and ground it through massage, yoga or sports - anything that connects your spirit to your worldly self. You are a quick-witted fast learner who gets bored easily, even to the point where you can create a little drama to liven things up. You tend to limit your freedom by not taking responsibility for your own life. and must stop resenting others from holding you back. Expand your consciousness to where the Universe becomes your playground and you find what you seek - variety and change, real freedom and spiritual liberation, not in isolation and retreat but in cooperation with self and others in committed relationships.
Your husband is here to develop the confidence necessary to follow a long, sometimes arduous process of hard work in order to reach his goals. He must learn not to operate on hopes, wishes or enthusiastic illusions. He needs to release an attraction to short-term amusements and distractions and develop the self-mastery not to be led astray or sidetracked by his lusts and impulses. He has a rich fantasy life that he uses to enhance the dull aspects of ordinary life. Other people can be exciting but unrealistic and ultimately unsatisfying fantasies for him. Quite lavish in his taste and with a fondness for creature comforts, he may face financial challenges before he understands the danger of living beyond his means or overspending on impractical items. He runs the risk of becoming greedy or obsessive in his search for material pleasures and can fail to address the more fun-loving side of his nature. Family and domestic life, especially having children, will bring out his best, as such interactions serve to broaden his perspective away from self-interest while indulging his more playful, imaginative side. His unconventional attitudes may lead him to turning an invention or innovation into a commercially viable product. His partner must be a strong, dedicated type who can withstand his intensity without giving up her own individuality, pragmatic enough to help him keep his focus while having the capacity to see the big picture. In relationships, he can have an unforgiving attitude that can last for years or even decades.
His inner lack of stabilty can make him feel as if he lives out of a suitcase even if he has a home - he's never sure of what he is 'supposed' to be doing. A split between his mind and emotions leads to impulsive decisions and then obsessive regrets - he thinks one thing and feels another so he doesn't know what he wants. Outward bravado or a confident/superior air covers up feelings of self-doubt, sensitivity, lack of commitment, and insecurity. Past experiences of abuse/an unstable family life may have prevented him from establishing a strong foundation in early life.
Learning to let go of resentment or blame is imperative for him. He can be overpossessive, even codependent in his relationships. He needs to get out of his fantasy world and ground himself in domestic bliss, forming bonds with family and neighbours and taking pride in his home with plenty of parties, dinners with friends, holiday celebrations, and family get-togethers that will encourage his self-expression and sharing. A simple life in a rural or all-natural setting will remove all distractions and help him to choose future goals over present pleasures. Mental stress can be relieved by relaxation, meditation, dance, exercise and sport, martial arts or anything that teaches him to blend and flow rather than resist. A balanced low-fat diet is a good foundaton for his well-being.
Thank you so much Captain! My hubby and myself both read this. When he did his mouth dropped. He doesn't believe in this stuff and he even said that you are absolutely correct. Maybe we need to work on ourselves instead of each other. I really hope things work out between us. I am a pessimist though , just like you said. I have been his pragmatic figure.We have matching yin yang tattoos to remind us that we are two halves of a whole. I always run from a situation if it starts going sour but haven't been able to give up on this one. You put things in perspective for me. Bless you.
Wow, just the fact of you reading it together makes me think you are already on the road to healing. Just remember everything we do and believe - including pessimism - is a choice, not an immutable fact. And anything is possible if you really want and work for it!
Blessings to you both!
would you please do a reading for me I started my own topic but did not get a response so I thought I would try this one, I am new to this part of the sight and saw the topic for the reading with spacemonkey but later saw that she was too swamped to take more on. I would really like some guidance with my currant triangle that I have made a mess of . My DOB is 02/22/73 and my x fiance is 08/05/82 as well as my x husband 08/24/75. I just need a little guidance I have told them I need time to heal and think. It has been hard to choose I care for both of them deeply but in different ways and do not want to do anything that will hurt them. thank you if you can do this. borra001
Borra001, I will go over to your own thread and answer you there.
captain can you take a look at my thread as well-- who should i choose?
if there is anything else you need to know let me know-- thanks in advance
piscesparadox i apologize 4 coming to your thread to ask this
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