Don't know how to proceed



  • A close member of my family passed away this week. He died of cancer and was only 45 years old. My husband, who is not a blood relation of the family member that died, is having a hard time with all of it. His birthday is 7/8/65. He was born in Chicago. I don't know if I should just leave him alone and let him grieve or if I should be a little more aggressive and try to reach out to him. I'm hesitant because in the past I've either gotten criticized for being a pain and that I should stop bothering him as well as being criticized for not being there for him. I don't get it. I'm a very sensitive person and am always just who I am. I would never purposely push away or ignore someone in pain, either emotionally or physically. My birthday is 7/23/65 and I was also born in Chicago. Any readings would be appreciated.



  • let this man know that you are there for them if they require a shoulder to cry or lean on, dont get upset if he has a go at you, as he is in a greiving process and unfortunatley yoou may be the one who cops it, thats unfortunate that you have lost someone close and i am sorry for your loss, dont be afraid to reach out to him anyway, just be yourself and know that you are not doing anything wrong, say a prayer before you do this and ask for protection for both of you, its very difficult watching a person in greif exspecially when they dont want help, or comfort, say what you have to say and then leave it at that there isnt much else you can do, and look after yourself, dont let others problems spoil the lovely person you are and dont be afraid, all the best



  • thanks



  • Blue65, you might have to find a way to talk with your husband as I feel there is more at work here than just grief. I am feeling guilt from him. Is there anything he could feel guilty about in regard to the passed relative? Was he not there when he died or perhaps they argued or something prior to the passing? Your husband needs to release this even if you come across as being a pain because otherwise this could bother him for a long time. He needs reassurance that whatever it is, it is not the awful thing he thinks it is.



  • Captain,

    Thanks for your comments on this. Yes, I could see how he would feel guilty because of past events. He wasn't there when my other family member passed. But he was there shortly before. But I've since figured out that this family member chose the time for his passing. he was alone with his wife, which is what he wanted.