Could someone please do a relationship reading for me?
Hi! My name is Nicole and my dob is 03/11/1981, his name is J and his dob is 07/06/1980. We knew each other as children, but pretty much stopped being friends by the time we were 13 or 14. Now he is back in my life, and it is really throwing my world out of balance. He says he really cares about me, and that he has thought about me a lot. However, I just have a bad feeling that he is using me. Could someone please help me?
Are those dates 3rd November and 7th June, or 11th March and 6th July?
Just in general, I feel that this guy is not so much deliberately using you, as living in a dream world rather than the real world, and building a fantasy around your old relationship that has little to do with reality. This guy rarely lets anyone get close for fear they will find out that he is different and reject him. He craves approval and acceptance but feels very unworthy of it. So he does not remain in relationships for long and goes from person to person, moving on when his fear of exposure kicks in. He is easily bored and change is a constant for him.
@theCaptain...sorry, its March 11 and July 6th. Thank you for your quick reply though! What you have said does make a lot of sense. Its like, I keep having the feeling that someting is not quite right, but I could not put my finger on it.
Yeah, this is not so bad for friendship but very dangerous for love. I feel like the robot in "Lost in Space" running around waving my metal arms at you and crying "Danger! Danger!"
The relationship carries the danger of an unbridled pursuit of pleasure with it. It can easily become addictive, with you both unable to get enough of each other or of the activities you pursue together in the world. Part of the problem is that the relationship goes so deep it has difficulty extricating itself. This high degree of attachment to a person, activity, or substance may first be seen as merely habituating or obsessive and only later as outright addictive. Conscious awareness usually offers the only hope for stopping this process, but too often both of you will ignore any telltale signs, or blind yourselves to what is going on. Sex and love addictions are common here, a love affair or marriage usually shows at least some trace of such tendencies.
Warnings are in order from the outset, then. Addictions may particularly be prompted by your friend's low esteem or lack of confidence and by your need to be important to the point of being idolised. The latter trait is especially dangerous in that you sometimes encourage other people to be overly dependent on you. Although sex is often highly rewarding between you two, it can become obsessive and possessive, and can stand directly in the way of a realistic and healthy approach to life.
Friendship is better, often magnetic and long-lasting but here too is a danger of shared drug use, whether the drugs are alcohol, tobacco, or other controlled substances. Such friendships risk being exercises in self-deception, with you two readily succumbing to the lure of pleasure and good feelings.