WHY DO WOMEN ACCEPT MARRIED MEN?



  • You know Ladies two wrongs never never make a right unless followed by Truth then the wrong becomes right law of logic yes-no,right -wrong,daylight-dark,truth-lie. When we confront a lie and expose it to the light or truth it is no longer a lie they can not live in the same house.

    Can you fill a full cup ? NO So how do we know truth from a lie or right from wrong .

    If my cup is full of lies then the actions i take are based own a lie but if my cup is truth then the actions i take are of truth .IN essences we are pure truth and Love and Love stemming from truth and in the purest form we are!

    We are one with nature we are one with Mother Earth we are one with the universe we are all one energy of the same but in different states of mind body and spirit.

    If you choose to be a thief then what do you do ? you look for something to steal right? Why ?

    Why do we make some of the decisions we make then wonder why our life is so screwed

    up ? I think the answer is results of self manifested in different ways that brings all of our problems in life.

    Lets say i am a kid of 10 years old and have been taught that taking something that is not mine is wrong and i have been given candy once in awhile and i really love it ,its sweet makes me feel good and i love that feeling and taste .But as parents we limit our kids to sweets for their own health and welfare. But even tho i know its wrong to steal and take things i am in this store and no one is watching and i don't have any money and i want that feeling that candy gives me and taste just a thought then i decide to put that candy in my pocket and leave the store and i get away with it no problem, till the next time same thing got away with it . And each time further from the truth .So what this 10 year old boy has learned is if i want to satisfied this feeling or this craving i can do it by being dishonest and get what i want to make me feel good .

    So based own a feel good feeling and a thought he took action and became a thief and for the rest of his life are his actions based own that one wrong and the results of it ? A lot of them are and as long as we are making decisions based own a lie then results we get are probably not what we are hopping for .Truth is Love ,Love is self the same power that created us and a lie can not live in love cause Love is Truth and if i am doing wrong to you i am harming me and if i am doing harm to the Earth i am harming me the same power that created me and everything else and we are all one .

    We create lies they are not natural they are created by humanity not by the power that created us and we do it for a feeling and its usually for that feel good feeling .And them feelings are so powerful when they exceed their intended purpose they can cause us to make decisions and do things we know are wrong and after a while we do not even have a thought of whether its right or wrong we are just trying to get that feeling whether it be brought about by s* e* x ,money,power,prestige,security or the big one that feeling of self worth.

    So how do we get back to truth ? We start by saying i do not know and when we do that we become teachable and we start listening to the ones who do know who have found the truth in their lives and have gotten results and if some one says you quack like a duck sound like a duck look like a duck then maybe you are a duck.have you ever noticed Truth does not need to be defended it just is, but a lie does .

    We are not perfect and never will be but to have a better life is to try and live in the Truth.Every man and women own this planet is a liar and a thief to some degree.If i say i never lied i am a liar,if i say i never stole anything i am a liar you can steal happiness from people by making bad remarks to them or cutting them down or saying things about them that are not true or screaming and hollering at a child ,you just stole their peace of mind and sometimes their security.

    Living a lie is knowing the Truth but choosing not to do any thing about it .Am i a liar ? Yes i am . Am i a thief ? Yes i am . There are no saints but there are allot of people trying to be better people by putting Truth into action and that is my path today trying to be better than what i was yesterday. Love freely given i give to you Tooter



  • Ms.Sunny

    First I want to say thank you so much. You are right about sept. Because I was going to Texas but that was cancelled so I won't be going. And I was to see a friend of my perform. He has been a friend since I was 17. And we talked a couple of weeks ago and I want to go and surprise him. But it looks like I won't be going. So I was thinking I may try for Sept 18 2010. I am wondering who would not want me to go because I have not told anybody not even him, did tell him about me coming to Texas on the 25th of Sept. But thank you again. Illona And thanks for fitting me in your busy weekend.



  • BlackLadyDiver>>>>>First I want to say thank you so much. You are right about sept. Because I was going to Texas but that was cancelled so I won't be going. And I was to see a friend of my perform. He has been a friend since I was 17. And we talked a couple of weeks ago and I want to go and surprise him. But it looks like I won't be going. So I was thinking I may try for Sept 18 2010. I am wondering who would not want me to go because I have not told anybody not even him, did tell him about me coming to Texas on the 25th of Sept. But thank you again. Illona And thanks for fitting me in your busy weekend.

    what I saw was conflict.. could be a "person" or "thing" such as "work" conflict of schedules.. LOL sometimes outsiders step in and pulls away your opportunity. these outsiders are unknown at this time.

    It does look to be of a postponement, and not to be discouraged it will happen but at a later date is what I am feeling.

    thank you for your feedback.. Sunny



  • Delbertc

    it's nice to know there are still few good men left.. I know many men do NOT cheat, and many women as well do not cheat.

    one can simply nip it in the bud in the beginning or when one finds out. one can simply look ahead and see where there choices will lead. anyone can do this..



  • Hmmm, what an interesting question indeed. I'm not an old-fashioned person in the slightest but I think there is absolutely no excuse, no valid reason at all for a woman to knowingly be involved with a married man. For goodness sakes, there are so many men in this world, why would you want to be with someone who is married to someone else.

    I've been on the other end of this situation, married to a man for over 18 years and I had no idea that he was cheating on me. I've read some posts on here where some people actually blame the wife in this situation for not fulfilling the husbands physical or emotional needs as some sort of excuse for the husband to cheat...that is just total crap. If you're unhappy with your marriage then step up be a man (or a woman) and either leave or try to work it out. There is no acceptable reason to cheat ever!

    To all those women out there who think it's okay to be involved with an 'unhappily' married man, just know that things aren't always what they seem. My ex used to tell women how unhappy he was in his marriage all the while telling me and his family how much he loved us and wanted to be with us...it's all just deceit, plain and simple.

    I believe it takes a totally selfish and self-centered person to involve themselves knowingly with someone who is married. Do they not consider the significant other's or their children's feelings? Do they not realize that actions have consequences and people get hurt in the process of them fulfilling their own selfish needs/desires?

    At the end of the day, we are all on this earth to love and respect each other to the best of our ability including loving and respecting ourselves. You cannot love and respect yourself when you're intentionally being deceitful, at least that's what I believe.

    I always tell my girls whenever they are in the midst of making any type of decision that there are consequenes to every action. That choices are to be made so that they are happy and proud of the choices they make. At the end of the day, when you look at yourself in the mirror, are you happy with the person you are, the choices you've made?



  • torri girl,

    thank you for your opiopion, even though the post is not mine, soemone else wrote a similiar post and i totally agree with you that the man or woman who is cheating uses this excuse that they are not happy in thier marriage, i have seen this happen to a few relatives of mine and also good girlfriends, the funny thing that when the cheating husband gets caught, is the wife who he wants to stay with, at that moment they let the lover go, many cases, in the long run they lose the wife and the lover, because at that point the lover realizes, she has been taken for a fool.

    when a man no longer loves a woman, not even the children tie him down, they leave, with just the reasib, i dont want to be with you anymore, how many cases are there of women who get pregant and at that time, the man cuts the game he played, the woman has to stay aone with her chiild. for many years, ever since i was a child, i used to hear these words, you believe what you want to believe, and those words are so true, and they apply to this situation. if he doesnot live his wife, where does he spend christmas, and other holidays, his birthday? just where, and that should be enough, if there was no marriage he just wouoldnot be there, no one likes to play second fiddle, but sometimes, thinking that the loove is real, it is allow.



  • There are two major feelings that cause us more problems than anything and that is sex and being excepted by others and them feelings are so powerful they can create all kinds of problems unless kept under control by truth.

    Sex was for procreation so the human race would survive and to get us to do the act of procreation it had a feel good feeling attached to it that was indescribably wonderful as long as it is kept in truth of action .But allot of time we use it as a wepon to get what we want we will lie to get what we want and the other problem from it is when its done out of truth there is no satisfaction its never enough so we have to lie more con more and more to get that feel good feeling and look at all the harm that is caused from that one thing but there is also a lot of good.

    There is nothing wrong with sex if it is in truth and by that i mean when 2 people are honest about their intent with out expectation except satisfaction of a feeling or a desire for that feeling .Me being a man and if i tell a woman what she wants to hear just to get that feeling it has become a wrong and if that relationship continues all kinds of problems are created out of a lie.

    So how can you exspect it to turn into a healthy relationship when it was built own a lie it wont .

    Look threw the forum its all threw here relationships built own lies and them wondering why they are not working and remember a lie is opposite of truth .

    If you want to know the truth go look in the mirrow and ask yourself if what your going threw is truth or a lie you have the answer the answer is within not in a box of baseball cards.

    The other is about self and what others think of us sometimes we think we are so well were sicker than hell or our pride and ego get so high we are beyond anybody else and we think we have all the answers .I found for me that the height of my self centerness is when i think i know whats best for someone.If i am trying to get from point A to point B my path may not be the best path for someone else but the truth of the path is the same so all i can give is my knowledge of the truth and my experience of my path that i took .I can not give what i do not have . If every time you eat peanut butter and you get sick QUIT eating peanut butter . Now the problem put a indescrible feeling to eatting peanut butter and we will keep eating it even tho we know its going to make us sick and we will do this untill we get sick and tired of being sick.

    When we start going and looking in the mirror and start seeing the truth and putting it into action we star feeling good about ourselves and the more we see the better we feel and what do you know we have quit eating the peanut butter and if we are rejected based own truth we are OK and we don't have to prove our worth to anyone except to ourselves.

    You will be amazed how much your life will change . Love freely given i give to you Tooter



  • Why do women accept married men?

    Why do men accept married women?

    (yes, it happens)

    The answer is simple:

    because we are human. The heart wants what it wants.

    Because people lie to one another and themselves and they want so badly

    to believe those lies.



  • torgirl44

    I could not agree more. It is nice to know your kids are being brought up to know what is right and wrong.



  • I am glad to hear that there are still good folks around that teach their children the difference between right and wrong. it's that simple..

    when people use terms like, it's complicated, or it's a long story.. who creates the messes? it's the adults, and I am really sick and tired of listening to poor excuses for straying. this saying is my favorite... I did not know until I was head over heels in love. what a load of crap..

    Sunny



  • AND I always loved to hear... but he makes me feels sooooo good. he pays so much attention on me..

    yea, well, ever notice when the sex is over, he rolls over and goes to sleep. lolololol



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  • Thanks to all of you for your support in how I am raising my children. You know, when I found out about my ex, it took me a while to fully accept that he no longer loved me....it's a hard thing to accept when you've been together for so long. I wasn't sure if breaking up with him would be the best for my children...that was my main focus. But, I realized that I didn't want my girls growing up thinking it was okay for someone to treat you like garbage, that wasn't the type of relationship I wanted them to think was 'normal' in any way.

    So, just over a year ago, I told him it was over and that he had to leave. Since that time my girls have adjusted well. They realize that in life our job is to treat others with kindness, love and compassion. That's why I don't hold any negative feelings towards my ex, it is what it is, life goes on. I have forgiven him for the hurt he has caused and am friendly to him as I don't hold any grudges. He is my past, not my present, never to be my future ever again. I wish him only happiness in his life and I thank him for the valuable lessons I learned while I was with him.

    People make mistakes, I know that and we are all only human as many have said on this thread, but it is our responsibility as human beings to step back, think and evaluate and question whether our actions are for the greater good of all or for only our own selfish benefits. Each day is a choice, each action has a consequence, so we must try each day to make good choices even if that means giving something up that we don't want to.

    Blessings to all.



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  • I am sorry for you and anyone who goes threw this i know it was done to me but i watched it happen and kept asking if everything was OK or if something was bothering her . We made a pack before we got married and it was if you find or if things happen to were you want someone else just tell me and i will step aside just dont lie to me and i will not lie to you well guess what happen after 12 years of a marriage of being the happiest i have ever been and was very spiritual i thought ,the atmosphere started changing i was having feelings of something was not right and i would blow it off until one day she done something totally out of caricature.

    She trowed away a pair of panties hose and she never done that she had a drawer so stuffed with them she was pretty conservative and she also saved them for a friend of ours when he worked cattle he would wear them under his pants so his legs wouldn't get raw from ridding all day own his horse and they helped him stay warmer to .

    But that morning i was getting ready for work and so was she and she was already ready and i seen her take and put a pair of panties hose and put them in the trash and she never never done that since we had been married and i ask her what she was doing and she said nothing .

    I will say this a couple of times during our marriage i got jealous a couple of times or should say i wondered and we talked about it and always we were OK with it no problems .

    But that day after she left i looked in the trash and checked them panties hose now i am no nut or pervert but this was something she had never done but i they were tore about 3 inches long down by the pad in the croutch and no wheres else and a red flag went up . Now i use to be wilder than Hel*l and i have made that same tear when i would be with a women in the heat of the moment and it takes a lot to make that kind of tear but anyway i started checking i could not believe she would do this i just couldn't believe it but now every thing was being questioned .

    All these years we i thought had grown spiritually together and was always grateful for what God had given us and we both be leaved in truth and living it by action i thought but i knew if she did not get back to the light it would destroy us for 9 years i tried to get her to deal with it tell someone the truth and that's the only thing that will kill a lie is Truth.

    What i believe happen is she worked for a elected official and it all started when he had my wife hire this other women and she was a old girlfriend of his or lay and they all had a fling or several at work and she fell for him or her i don't know but for them it was just fun and all i could do was watch this happen and her going threw it well the fights started she kept denieing and lying about it caught her in one lie after another she quit her job blamed it own me then it all became my fault because i was asking and accusing her for lying so it was turned own me as causing all the problems . Today i know if she had admitted the truth she knows ii would of left her she had fell for another man or women i don't know but for them it was just fun so how could she ever tell me the truth and keep me she couldn't and didn't.

    You know what really hurts is when your kids tell you after nearly a year after the divorce we tried to tell you she was a phony. Even after 9 months and what i went threw of her taking every thing we tried getting back together until i seen she had gotten rid of about 25,000 dollars of my tools then said she did not know what happen to them and in anger i ask who cut the lock own my trailer and she told me i was going to file charges but she would not back me so i left we are divorced now she got nearly every thing i worked for ,for over 27 years she even took part of the money and got a face lift and i am living in my RV trailer in my daughters yard .

    You know i have been beat so bad by other men one even tried pulling my eye out and have had wrecks no person should of lived threw but i had never been hurt as bad as she hurt me and i have been hurt by a lot of women but she took the cake .But its OK i know she will get whats coming to her and i am a whole lot better now and i Thank God i still believe in truth. Tooter



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  • It does not matter how things are going in somebody else's relationship it is still wrong to want someone else's Husband or Wife. Morally wrong. In this case where does a person self-esteem goes. It's all about how you veiw yourself and what do you want for yourself. Who wants to be 2nd in anybodies life? If a person cannot be THE ONE, why even bother or waste his or her time. Don't u want to be treated as a precious Jewel? Or am I missing something here?



  • Delbert,

    Your post touched me. I had the same thing happen in my relationship. About two years ago, things in my marriage seemed out of whack. I asked and asked my husband at the time if everything was ok, if he was happy etc. He always said, yes, I'm happy we have a great life. In the back of my mind I was suspicious but there was never really anything concrete I could put my finger on, just a nagging feelign that something was just not right.

    I finally found out the truth, that he'd been cheating on me for the last 4 years of our marriage by coming across about 250 emails he had sent to other women who he met online. I felt completely betrayed and shattered. I realized that I didn't know this person who I had lived with for almost 20 years. It seemed like everything I had believed in and trusted was a complete and utter lie. It was the saddest time in my whole life! When I first found out he asked that we go to counselling for the sake of the kids...we did that for a few months but he didn't really seem to be trying to make things better. I was a mess for 6 months, daily anxiety attacks, fear, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity....the whole bit. I cried every day for about 8 weeks until one day my youngest daughter said to me "Mommy I hope you don't crash your car on purpose and die because you're so unhappy." She snapped me out of my pity party and I decided that he needed to go, that I was finished once and for all. I knew that I could never trust him ever again, he lied to my face too many times, I didn't know the person he was anymore.

    That was a year ago and I have come to terms with the fact that he is out of my life forever. I learned a great many lessons over that time, first of all that I am a great person, I'm loving, kind, generous and compassionate and that nothing I did ever led him to make the decisions he did. The fact that he cheated had nothing to do with me or the wife I was but only with him .

    I know how much your heart must have broke when you found out your wife cheated as I've been there. I hope you're doing better now. I really believe everything happens for a reason even though we may not know it at the time.

    My life is good right now, better than it's been for years. I have peace in my soul and I know that I have so much to offer the right person who may come into my life.

    I wish you peace Delbert and so much happiness. God bless you and your family.



  • the saying goes..

    "if they do it with you, they'll do it to you"



  • A woman that knowingly involves herself with a married man is satisfying an emotional need from my understand of it. A married man represents maturity, and financial stability. In catering to an emotionally needy woman, he makes her feel important, and valued as a person. She will also fell happier in his presence, and will at some point fall in love with him. Such a relationship is doomed in the end, especially if the truth is revealed. I do not understand why a woman would set herself up for that kind of hurt. It happened to two of my female friends, who are very academically intelligent women, who just fell hard for a guy that has wife, or a committed relationship at home with kids.

    I do understand the deception of a guy secretly getting involved with another woman, and denying to that person that he has an existing relationship, which is an unfortunate common practice.


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