Would really appreciate a reading on this...
I've been dating my Scorpio BF for just under 1 1/2 years. Mostly good, some ups & downs that are mostly growing pains but he "pledged his love in a big way" (his words) to me on our anniversary in September and has told me that he sees me as his "end of life partner" (he's 57 and divorced), and says I'm the love of his life, his sweetheart, etc. I could use more affection more regularly from him but it's not his way and this challenges me, but I'm learning to deal with it - when he is in that frame of mind, he's wonderful but if he doesn 't feel like being affectionate or loving, he just isn't. He has told me many times that I need to "hold on to the core (good) stuff that he's told me" during those periods when he's out of sorts or not acting like I'm his life, even though he says I am. I should note that, other than occasionally saying he loves me, he hasn't expressed THAT level of love/affection in a months.
This past weekend, he was supposed to come out to my place (we only see each other on weekends b/c we live 1 hour apart), but had to work unexpectedly. He was only going to work a half day and then come out - we had dinner plans at the home of friends - but around noon he rather coldly informed me that he probably wouldn't be coming because he was going to have to put in a full day. My response (that it was up to him) must have somewhat conveyed my disappointment because he got angry at me for giving him "that attitude". A later call went better, but he was still pretty unaffectionate and not very warm, particularly since changing the plan means we now won't see each other until next weekend.
This morning he called and I gently told him that I really missed him last night - he figured it was because I was the odd one out (in a room of other couples) - I told him that it was actually because I had wanted him to be with me, not just because I was alone per se. I added that I was also sad/disappointed because now we wouldn't see each other for another week. His response was a lighthearted, "Oh well, that's OK. Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and then changed the subject. I couldn't shake the feeling that something is all of a sudden terribly wrong, despite the fact that he was quite affectionate (calling me sweetheart and love of my life, and talking about wanting to get a downpayment on a house for him, me and my son as recently as this past Wednesday). I know he's been feeling anxious about a lot of things and he's admitted this, even though he can't really articulate what he's anxious about or why, exactly. He called again later this morning just for mundane things but ended by calling me "sweetie".
I'm confused and concerned. He's 57 and born October 28, 1952 (Scorpio) and I'm 41 and born April 26, 1968 (Taurus) if that's helpful. I need to know if his feelings and level of commitment and interest in this relationship are as strong as they were before, particularly since my attempts to ask him have not been terribly successful.
Any assistance is much appreciated and if there's anything I can offer you (reading, numerology, etc.) I'd be glad to.
NoraMaryCatherine, opposites attract here - and how! There is a strong magnetic pull between you two. And the initial attraction is nothing compared to the energies that can be generated, both for good and bad, once the relationship gets moving. This matchup runs the full gamut of expressiveness, from the most brilliant to the most passionate. Yet you are quintessentially fixed personalities and your synergetic melding presents a solid and formidable exterior to the world. In short, this can be an unbeatable combination, at work, on the playing field, or in a family or social group.
Should you two fall deeply in love, you are likely to soar to the heights of physical sensation and sexual ecstasy, but you must beware of getting stuck there. Your passion can also be the prelude for spiritual forays, but you too often get bogged down in issues of possession and control, codependency and love addiction. Destructiveness can climb unacceptably here with the relationship being rocked or torn apart by fierce battles for supremacy. Indeed the relationship's karma often seems to demand going this far before such conflicts can be finally resolved.
Marriage here doesn't usually do well if it grows out of a love affair. It has a better chance of success if it evolves out of a friendship, where the bonds of trust, respect and tenderness that are so valuable in marriage can form in a less competitive context. Indeed friendship can be a very close tie, approaching a true marriage of hearts and minds.
NMC, you must not succumb to your need for harmony by sacrificing your need to be true to yourself. You have a natural diplomacy and sensitivity to others that can make it difficult for you to discover the independence and identity that are at the heart of your particular life journey. Likely to become quite entrenched in social structures and responsibilities, you must learn to guard against feeling unappreciated or unrecognised for your efforts, and to take your satisfaction from your own sense of accomplishment. You may have some personal touchiness and sensitivity to others' opinions. Release your need to fill the expectations of others. If you can divest yourself of your social baggage and employ your impulse toward manifestation of your plans and dreams in an effort at solid accomplishment, all will go well. Your fufillment will be found leading an organisation dedicated to your innovative vision. You need a patient partner who can keep up with your abundant energies and dynamic lifestyle, someone who will support you as you undergo a variety of experiences designed to provide greater awareness and reveal to you who you are. If you marry before you find out your true identity or develop more self-interest, you will outgrow your partner and need to move forward past such a formative union.
Your friend has a subconscious need for suffering. He must practise unflinching and objective self-assessment in order to let go of all that does not serve the best and highest in himself. Learning to let go and relax, and to forgive, he can then flow with life, accepting its abundance and becoming more joyful. His challenge is believing that release is possible. His fulfillment will come when he discovers his dark side holds no power over him. An attitude of chronic and self-imposed negativity will hinder his progress towards higher development. Yet he possesses a phoenix-like ability to emerge from even the worst trials and setbacks and begin again. The trick will be to recognise that it's not always necessary to burn to ashes first. In fact, learning to move from release to release, one step at a time, rather than storing up rage, indignation and emotional trauma to the point of spontaneous combustion will prove invaluable. As will educating himself in the art of integrating his sometimes highly polarised nature. After all, light and dark aspects of the personality can coexist without necessarily blending into a dull, uninspired grey. Once he learns how to disengage himself from non-productive or hurtful relationships, as well as from his bad habits, negative psychological patterns, and that need to suffer, he can proceed in a freer, more peaceful manner. The history of his relationships can make him a bit gun-shy and he can nurse old hurts and grudges for a very long time, even believing that revenge is a way of dealing with relationships effectively. But he will eventually see the benefits of forgiveness and of admitting others into his life in a more unconditional way.
Thank you so much for your insights. I'm open to all input, and this was thoughtful and helpful indeed.
By the way, 2010 is a 6 personal year for you. This vibration is one of protection and benevolence. This year home and family are highlighted. It is a time to counsel, console, guide, and give assistance to family members and friends. Some sacrifice will be asked of you in this area. The focus this year is on relationships. You are likely to find your relationship with those near and dear to you growing ever closer and stronger this year, while any relationship that is no longer of mutual benefit will come under the microscope and may actually terminate, (if it hasn’t already ended during the 5 year). The 6 is a very auspicious year to begin a marriage. It is a time when you may be concerned with taking care of your home, perhaps decorating, buying furniture, or even finding a new home. It is also worthwhile in your 6 year to personalize your environment with family photographs, fresh flowers, or treasured objects and artifacts. Consider taking courses that focus on your own well being and balance. If you have ever wanted to paint, sing, act, or play a musical instrument for pleasure, this is also favoured in a 6 year. You may find yourself "spread thin" this year, as you will be needed in many areas. Usually the 6 year is free of occupational and financial problems.