Why me? I hate life.

  • I am glad you liked that stonyeye you can sub scribe to her newsletters and for them to let you know when she has a new you tube interview. There are several interviews on there. Life an explanation of the afterlife. Watch them because you feel much better about some things when you do.

  • Jastin...

    When I read your posts in the beginning, it felt like something hit me in the chest, and I wanted to scream. Just scream..."STOP IT! Just you stop that, right now!"

    You are better than that, and feeling that way will not solve anything. And you know this.

    I have been there, many times and it does nothing for you. This negative way of thinking is sometimes...not always, but i'd say most of the time gets you into the situations that you are in. You are vulnerable....and clinging onto a hope that you know in your heart.......just doesn't exist.

    But reading on, I see you have many wise people there for you...and you have headed somewhat to their advice. This is all wonderful advice. Absorb it all Jastin, love yourself first and others will follow.



  • Blonde,

    Thank you for that bit of advice I am very gratefult o receive advice int his here forum. So many have awaken me to realize the importance of what I already have. Thank you again.

  • As most of you all know I am trying to conceive and have recently started back up with the fertility drugs. Now I am a full time employee and as all companies they have rules and guidelines to follow by absences being one of them. My job requires for a 2 week notice in advance for time off being on fertility drugs is a bit difficult. It is all about timing and my job has made it a bit harder for me. About 4 months ago I had surgery on my ovaries and being that I am on fertility drugs the risk of health issues can reoccur therefore they try to monitor me as much as possible for safety reasons. My job has not been too nice about that even though I had explained it is for a health issue as well. I am so frustrated having at least one child has always been a dream of mines and with the ups and downs of my job it is crazy.

  • 143jastin,

    Perhaps this is another message from the universe telling you this is NOT the right time for you to be having a child. You have a rocky relationship with your boyfriend, there are other things going on in your life and you don't want to end up a single mother with no job trying to support yourself and your child. I urge you again to consider waiting, I REALLY feel this is not right for you at this time. At 22, you honestly have plenty of time and having a child with the RIGHT man makes a lot of difference also.

    I think you are forging ahead with your blinkers on DETERMINED no matter what to have this child and I feel you need to stop, take the blinkers off, look around you and look at your motivations here and all your circumstances. I feel like this would be a mistake at this time and you will end up with more problems and struggles if you go ahead.

    I keep biting my tongue every time I see your posts, but I must tell you to PLEASE, look at all of this very very carefully. Once you have a child, you can't give them back, the responsibility is huge.

  • I am glad that you brought this up I have in fact spent the past few days thinking about this. Our relationship is rocky in fact he is very fast tempered and I am the one there for him to take everything out on. My job also has been giving me a hard time with having off and what not but that is true. I do need to really sort out what is important to me at this time and look if I am ready. I am determined to have a child and just hoping one day soon.

  • 143jastin,

    I know I'm coming into this a bit late, but here's my .02. I did not have my first (and only) child until I was 32. I spent my 20's living my life. I went to college and got a Bachelor's degree. I got the job of my dreams that I wanted ever since I was 13. I traveled, and I just enjoyed my freedom. When I was finally ready to have a child, I did, and I am still grateful that I waited. I was able to enjoy my youth while I was still young. Children don't ever go away, not even after they become adults...you will be a parent for the rest of your life, no matter how old your child is. They don't leave at 18 and you suddenly find yourself single again. Nope, that's a myth, lol.

    My thoughts on your rocky relationship is that this is a learning process for you and for him. You see, everyone deserves to have a good partner in life. Nothing is better than that. But there is a saying that "You have to BE the right person, before you can FIND the right person". So, you have to learn to recognize what it is you want in a man, and find someone who fits that, instead of stressing and griping that the one you're with won't treat you like you want him to. And HE needs to learn that when you treat people poorly, that you lose those people. His lesson will continue to repeat itself to him by him losing people over and over until the lesson sinks into his thick skull. So your lesson is to learn to recognize the man who is right for you, by learning to see the traits that are all wrong for you in this man. His lesson is to learn that if he doesn't treat people with respect, that he will be alone. Over and over again. That's his karma.

    On the physical side, I am a retired firefighter/paramedic. I have seen relationships like yours that continue getting worse and worse. What happens is that the abuser in the relationship will push his limits to see exactly how much abuse you are willing (and yes, you ARE willing) to take from him. Over time the abuse will continue, and get worse, and the next thing you know, you will be in the emergency room. I am telling you the truth when I tell you that I have gone on calls where women have been beaten almost to death with baseball bats, where they were beaten and raped by the man who supposedly loves them (that is NOT love!), and where they were even murdered. These women did not set out to get beaten, or raped, or murdered. And every single one of them thought that it would never happen to them. I would strongly suggest that you depend on your brain instead of your heart in this case, and move on. Find someone who is worthy of having children with you, instead of trying to find happiness by having a baby with the wrong man. Because believe me, having a baby with a person who is wrong for you will absolutely ruin your life...it you think you're stressed and depressed now, your stress and depression will be 100 times worse if you have a baby with him.

    Take care of yourself first...it is not being selfish, it is being smart. Focus on your needs and stay focused. When you take care of yourself, the Universe will see to it that the right people and the right blessings come into your life at the right time. I wish you the best...and many hugs to you! Be strong!

  • Thank you for the eye opener and wake up call. I am taking his crap as he knows I will and I do not want to be a victim either. It is true you can never make someone to be whom you want them to they would have to change themselves. I don’t even want to imagine what it would be like in a rocky relationship and with a child.

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