Why me? I hate life.

  • 143Jastin

    Honey, until you are prepared to face and work through the past and heal from it, you will keep attracting these type of relationships. All that hurt and feelings of guilt and shame and every other feeling under the sun has to come out and you have to start seeing yourself for the person you are and realise you were not to blame. I know, I've been there. There is no quick fix. It is too hard to do it on your own. Please please see a counsellor, ring the Lifeline number and speak to someone. You are young, now is a good to time to deal with it, don't continue to sweep it under the rug so to speak, it will only continue to affect you and every relationship you have for the rest of your life. That's not a psychic perspective sweetie, just one from my own personal experience.

    Until you work through this and get your self worth back, s*hit will keep being flung in your face until you DO deal with it. This will affect EVERY area of your life, be the brave person you are and speak to a counsellor and work through this. Then you can be in the right space to have the loving relationship you want and the family you desire.

    You can do this. You are not your past.


  • No abuse it ok. You do not deserve it nor should you keep putting up with it. You will need to work through the abuse from the past and you should NEVER stay with a man who physically abuses you. There is NO excuse for a man to lay a finger on you, NEVER. Until you work through this and work on your self esteem and worthiness issues, it will not go away. And trust me, you are in no place to think about bringing a child into this world until you do some healing of your own first. A baby will NOT heal you, I promise you this. There is no easy way out here sweetheart, no magic wand can fix things for you or take away your pain from the past. YOU have to work on it or it will continue to fester. Please please seek counselling. No one here can help you from a psychic viewpoint, this is something you will need to work through with the help of a professional and you CAN do. You are a very intelligent girl, I know it seems scary, but I know you are brave enough and strong enough to do this.

  • I must say that as I read Jastin's post the feeling came and it was like the whole world is against me and even moved me into tears and thoughts of running away came over.....NO-the world is not against you and you are not the only one who is going through this or have ever went through this...challanges are lessons, learn from them....what ever negativity that is bringing you down needs to be exfoliated and dismissed from your life...there is no greater love than the love you give to yourself...when you love yourself you are in bliss and it reflects on others...

  • Dear friends,

    I would like to thank each and everyone one of you for all the support and encouragement. I was on a rocky road which I did work out and find a way to get by. I am so thankful to have people like you to not give up on me.

  • 143jastin it's good to hear your doing better. We all know you don't get over what you have gone thought in a day or two. This is a long process and you have to rebuild you and it's very important to be on good terms with yourself before you have a child. The child will not fix your past, only with professional help will you really heal. I hope you take the time to repair the pain that you faced before you have someone to depend on you for a healthy life.

  • LibrasLair,

    Thank you for that words of wisdom. I have taken some time out to think things through thoroughly and sort out my problems.

  • Wenchie,

    Your words have definitely brought a clearer view to my attention. To find and see the person I a truly am and not what I think I am. You have pointed out quite a few of things that really made me think such as not feeling worthy, my self esteem and blaming myself. I have reached out for help and am receiving it as I should. It has been a start of healing for the months and years that lay ahead.

  • 143Jastin,

    I am so glad you have received something from my post. Truth be known I was a little worried about posting it, but the feeling of it needing to be said outweighed my nervousness about saying it. Sometimes we need to reach that turning point to have confidence to reach out and take the steps we so badly need to take. It's fantastic you are heading down the right path and have started your own healing which will enable you to discover YOU. I'm sure in time you will be really delighted at what you see. Kudos to you for your strength and bravery, I know you will get through this and come out a much happier person within yourself. It's about you being happy with you, not you pleasing everyone else.

    You have support here when needed.



  • Wenchie,

    Can you see what is in store for me within the next 3-6 months?

  • 123jastin>>I'm not trying to make a pitty party I just want to know why? I don't want to be here any more.

    Sandran712>>Just hope you don't get to be unmarried /no social life at 46.Then you can whine...LOL..When your life sucks..You just change things.When something doesn't work.If the relationship you are in does not last.It's because god has something better for you.When you dwell too long and worrying..It might pass you by.Try not to feel this way too long.Some one may come along and you been feeling too low you can't see it.

  • Sandran712,

    Is this just what you feel or an insight?

  • 143jastin>>Is this just what you feel or an insight?

    Sandran712>>Most of it is what I did to make it through being depressed.I did try therapy in the past.But, I gave up therapy and go to church instead.My doctor told me having my son brought me out of my depression.I do not recommend anyone to get pregnant to come out of a depression.My son is Special Needs/can't talk.Has alot of medical issues.Something must have made me strong enough to handle this for 24 years as a single parent.

  • 143Jastin,

    I am not developed enough to have insights at will (rather frustrating for me when I really want to help others and can't get the info when I want it), it just comes when it comes and I get what I get. So although I can't give you specifics of what is coming up for the next 3-6 months (Hisbablove will be a good one to ask when she gets through her own tough personal issues at the moment) but I can say that I have a good feeling that what you have started has you on the right track.

    Right now the message for you is to concentrate on your own healing and the future will take care of itself. Continue with the help you are receiving, continue to work on yourself and your healing and you will be on the right path. Counseling will be great to have someone help you work through things, it's often hard to see things for ourselves. What may have worked for others, will not necessarily work for you. So please again, I tell you that quite strongly I get you must work on yourself because you are in the right space to have a child. By all means go to church if that is what you feel you should do, but continue with your counseling and learn to discover who you are and learn to love yourself. Love yourself and build up your esteem and self worth and deal with all your negative feelings about yourself.

  • HELLO 143jastin, I am glad to see you are doing better, I MUST COMPLIMENT WENCHIE for all her wisdom and insight, I am in my 60,s and have had many of the situations that are happening to you all here and of course there was often no one to communicate with ,,,,, So all I want to say is I totally appreciate the warmth and caring words that are given to many including me at a time when it is most needed. I feel like there are Angels here. ................. Leonida

  • Wenchie>>What may have worked for others, will not necessarily work for you

    Sandran712>>I agree.There are alot of reasons a person can be depressed.This is a subject that is very hard for me to deal with.My son's father committed suicide.7 years ago.And in the last 5 years I have had 2 other close friends also committed suicide.

  • Sandran712,

    Yes I agree with you, which is why I think a check up with a Doctor is also a good idea to rule out any physical causes. We live in a fast paced world where we seem to stuff our bad feelings or problems or issues back down where we can ignore them for a short while, but sooner or later they are going to resurface and will need to be addressed. Too often we feel like no one can help and there is no support us or feel we can't reach out to others for help. We ARE here to help one another, it doesn't take much to offer a little encouragement and support to someone else and that could mean the difference between them finding a way to cope with their problems or choosing to end it.

    I understand that you've had a hard time dealing with suicides that have impacted your life, I am a suicide survivor (in my silly teenage years). All we can do is try to help those that reach out and hope that we make a difference.

  • Wenchie>>where we can ignore them for a short while, but sooner or later they are going to resurface

    Sandran712>>Yes this happened while I was grieving.I went to grief therapy at a funeral home.It helped when I was going.But, I had 2 friends die on top of the grief I already had.And it got to be too much.So I had to do something else.So I went to church.I am ok as long as I don't hear organ music.Organ music reminds me of a funeral.

  • Sandran712, Wenchie

    Thank you so much for being there and providing great insights as they come.

  • 143jastin I have a You Tube clip that you may find interesting. This is as trans channeler very much like Edgar Cayce. She has a good message on here./www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIVsVc_AjbA

  • LibrasLair, I have been pondering what it really means to be creative for the past few days and actually was just doing some internet searching about it when I came back to the forums and stumbled across your your link for 143Jastin. I hope you will watch it 143Jastin. Good stuff there.

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