What should i do... take him back or hit the road?

  • i have been dating a man for a little over 6 mths. things were good like they usually are in the beginning. we never made anything official for the simple fact 6 mths to me is not long enough to say that we should be in a committed relationship. everything was fine until after christmas, he stopped answering my calls nor did he return any of my calls. finally i had enough and decided not to call him anymore than out of the blue he calls yesterday. usually i would be happy to hear from him but this time i was not in the mood for bull. i answered the phone even though i felt as if i should have let it go to voicemail, after a few minutes of just listening to him i really had nothing to say, he said he would call me back. needless to say he didnt and i really did not care. i really liked this man, but i have a hard time of keeping interest in someone and once i feel you have done something wrong my feelings turn off really quick. the problem is i really like this man, but my heart has shut down.... any suggestions?

  • I agree that you should know someone more than 6 months before making a committment. I feel that he stopped calling because he DID want a committment and he felt "whats the use wasting my time". But he did call you back because he had interest in you as well.

    If you really like this man then you should give him a call and explain your feelings to him and ask about his. A relationship can not bloom without communication - how well do I know! LOL

    Open your heart - if you don't then it will be shut off when that right person comes along and you may never know if it would have been real or not.

    Blessings and my prayers to you.

  • I'm confused - if your heart has shut down, why are you still interested? What part of you still likes him?

  • thank you for your insight. you are very right i have shut down and closed my heart before only to realize i had passed up a great guy and there was no going back. i tried everything possible and he would not speak to me and that was over 10 yrs ago and to this day if i see him, he walks right past me as if i am invisible.

  • i like the part of him that was fun, that could always make me laugh and most importantly i miss the talks that we shared. as far as the intimacy there were always fireworks between us. i am a gemini and hes a libra, but this time i was not basing a potential relationship on sex because once the sex gets old and it does the only thing left to hold a relationship together is communication and i felt we had that.

  • I think you are looking for two different things in a relationship - you want companionship from him as a friend and he wants much more.

  • Humm...

    Sounds like you're both playing games with love. Getting one UP on the partner. You by being the non-committed one and him by being the hurt I won't talk to you then one. Are you sure he is not a Cancer? Sounds like a cancerian move. You can have in your mind how many months it takes to form a committed relationship all you want. That doesn't mean that your potential mate is going to go along with your timeframe. Did you even communicate this time horizon to him or did you think he would get it by osmosis?

    You hurt his feelings. It's plain and simple. You did not react to the love and sharing, you reacted to some arbitrary timeline that means absolutely nothing. One can fall in love in 60 minutes or 60 years, you never know.

    Learn from this one and move on. You can't let go because the lesson eludes you. The lesson is DON'T play games with love. Grab it when it comes as it may not be back soon and definitely not in the same package.

  • lawdawg, i dont think that either of us are playing games. he just got out of a relationship and so did i, so neither one of us were quick on the idea of jumping into another one. he came over lastnight and we had a long talk until his phone rang and he ended up leaving shortly after. so right now i am not sure what to think.

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