Scorpio's Relationship Problems
Any scorpio who is anything like myself wouldn't continue trying to get into a woman's life if she made it clear that she no longer had any kind of interest in him whatsoever. it sounds like youre asking how to get rid of a scorp when the woman still has an interest, but has realized that the relationship is doomed from the start. either way, all you'll have to do is tell them straight to their face '' I do not have any attraction to you at all, and I dont want you in my life anymore. I dont want any contact from you at all... etc...". make it clear to him, and he'll most likely disappear for good. In the unlikely event that he continues harassing you, have the police interfere.
I was very glad to see this topic as it is a phenomenon I have observed for many years, and have many Scorpio male friends. I am female, but we all have both energies in us. First of all, there is no way to address this topic fully without knowing your natal chart. Your rising and moon sign will impact your daily life, as of course, your entire life. Keeping that in mind, this is what I have discovered about the Scorpio core energy. When a Scorpion male commits, he commits. They don't do anything on a if and /or but level. While they love women, and I have been told by one, would like to crawl back into the womb, when they fall in love, not lust, they are true. This is not a baby energy. This is a powerful, mystical, secretive individual. Their level of expectation is extremely high, as they live on a high level themselves, (unless afflicted in their chart). The Scorpio male is extremely independent. AND....therein lies the rub.
Their need for freedom leads them to where they are quite able to do anything on a day to day basis. They are not looking for a mother, simple girlfriend or even wife, to companion them and/or share responsibilities. The Scorpio men that I know and have known, really do it all. They keep their surroundings carefully, they can cook, clean, work, have their carrers, do their art, ....live their lives on their own. They really depend on themselves. Now if you can do that, and well I might add, then where does a relationship fit in? First of all, relationships take alot of time. Scorpios can do that, IF the object of their desire is in their sights. But......freedom trumps relationships. Scorpios are not alone in this. While we all long to be companioned, it is very hard to find a good relationship. I also think it's a generation issue. Depending on your age, the status quo doesn't work anymore. People used to get married as that was the only "acceptable" way to have sex! Well...(LOL) ..need I say more. The Scorpio energy is a "FIXED" water sign.....or....as my Scorpion ex-husband says...'ICE"! While we are still friends after close to 40 years, once he found a relationship, after many years alone, I was out of the picture, for as another Scorpio close friend says, 'No Two Shall Ever Meet".
The feminine energy is very well defined in a Scorpio male. And in reality, like all of us, they really don't "need" someone....but would like to be in a committed relationship, if it WORKS in their current life situation. They are very fixed in their ways, and it's hard to have another energy come in and alter things. So, the person they will give that freedom to do so has to be on the same high level the Scorpio is on. They don't play baby games. And of course as they get older, they get much more fixed in their ways.
So to cap it all up, their independence is what I have seen trump their "wanting" a relationship. There are so many beautiful women out there, and casual sex is available, so the Scorpio will swin in his ocean freely and unencumbered by a "hook". Trust is also a HUGE factor for them. As I said to my closest friend, a Scorpio male, 'Who can you trust....somehow you must". Secrecy is also part of their make-up. Maybe all Scorpio men want to crawl back into the womb, I don't know, that's just what one told me. I find that Leo women can keep up quite nicely with a Scorpion male, again......keeping in mind, their natal charts. While it shouldn't be, 'need' is a huge factor in relationships. None of us need anyone in the end. So to walk that maze of relationships can just be a waste of time. And time is a precious commodity - a true Scorpio can't waste his time playing baby games. So...ladies...know all this before swimming in their wide, blue open seas.
SoScorpio: I read your SOS with great interest. Scorpio is a very complex sign in addition there are many intimate experiences that also shape our personalities. Many of the commentors have touched on a handful of the infinate possiblities that make you uniquely you. One thing that you may find helpful is to use the sign of Scorpio to paint the broader strokes of your makeup. The perpensitiy that you discribe of being bored and ending relationships frequently may have its roots in the fact that Scorpio tends to chew the meat and spit out the bones in terms of relationships that provide or do not provide material for spiritual, mental and emotional growth. Scorpion's are capable of great introspection and inspite of yourself --your inner man is collecting these experiences for future use. Further, Scorpions are very analytical and intellectual even at a very young age. You have a hunger and a drive to delve deep into people and situations and the capapbility of knowing where their thoughts are leading before the individual has verbalized them--hence you may find yourself completing their sentences for them and moving on to the next subject. You have your intuitive self to thank for that blessing. The passion that you speak of is not just sexual in nature--that passion is extended to every facet of living. You are either hot or cold and there is hardly ever a lukewarm with Scorpio. That can leave you feeling somewhat impatient with people and or circumstances--you will become more tempered with time as you learn to choose your battles wisely. This is just the tip of the iceburg for you SoScorpio -- there is a lot of truth to the saying still waters run deep--for there is nothing shallow about you. --Peace
This is my first time to reply. Something tugged at me to write to you and give you some hope.
I am a female cancer and my husband was a male scorpio. We had a wonderful long relationship and marriage ( 20 years ). My husband recently passed away in September.
I believe that our relationship was great because we were both water signs. We often imaged the phrase, " and the two shall become one ." Because we would think and speak the same thought on all sorts of issues. I think we were viewed as sticky tape or twine because we were never apart but always together. Early in the relationship and marriage we had our ups and downs but it all worked out in the end. To make things even more interesting my husband was Afro- American , blue collar and Baptist and I am Chinese -American, white collar and Catholic.
My husband had a trust issue but I was able to reassure him that I was the only one for him and he was the only one for me.
this is my first time in the forums, but I was literally drawn to soscorpion's post and the consequent replies.
I am a scorpion female married to a scorpion male for 27 years. When we have differences of opinons - they are battle royals, but are really soulmates the rest of the time.
A long time ago, as a naive, impressionable girl and before I realized my own power as a scorpion, I met my first husband who quickly killed those traits in me, leaving me with a trust issue with anyone. Over the years I learned to manipulate relationships to my advantage, never forgetting the hurt and bitterness of my first marriage. They say that time is a healer, not for me it wasn't. I suppose I was taking "revenge" on all other relationships, and, there were many. As posted, the chase was the thing - once it was reached - the interest was gone. Then came my 2nd husband and the rest is history.
Take heart soscorpion, there is sunshine after the rain.
I'm glad there is a male scorpio on here. I'm in crazy lust with a scorpio but I can't figure him out and am very emotionally wary of him. Thanks for the scorpio male insight!
so this is where you spent your time, krystalkisses
LOL your own thread Men of the Zodiac had grown on its own thanks to Scars and Stars
yeah I'm stalking you. Just kidding. I know you are interested in Scorps, well have fun!
To be honest I don't really know much about Scorpio males. I knew probably 4 or 5 my whole life, of course then I didn't ask everyone their sun signs None of them were cruel or sarcastic. Although maybe because my rising is Scorp it just goes that I can be sarcastic back anyway so it;s not a big deal I guess.
Among the 4 or 5 I was only involved romantically with one. They mostly had good physique, they were friendly or at least so so. Only one was good looking and young, unfortunately the timing was wrong. I am already married LOL Funny he bragged he can do me all night long, OK I don't know if he bragged, but I told him I'm too old for him. Unfortunately he knew my age, whoever that traitor was telling him my info da mn. Anyway nothing happened of course. But if I were not married, I'd surely give that young water a try or two, see how deep it is or whether he bites because I do
I was actually involved with a Scorp once. maybe 6 yrs older than I, he was OK but kind of quiet I felt like he is a serial killer something like that - but then again he might be just cereal fan We were going to settle down when I met this Cap (which is my husband now). One day this Scorp just gone missing (or dead eating too much cereal ?) I sent him email and left a message. One month went by and nothing. I then cancelled the wedding and turned to my Cap friend instead. Eight months we were together and then we got married.
It's kind of strange if I remember him though. If I was wrong he could just lash out LOL why just disappeared like that ? In my email I gave him one month to explain his disappearance. But because there was no communication whatsoever, I dropped him and went with my new Cap friend instead (which is my hubby now). I mentioned this to a Scorp female friend, and she said I supposed to give him more than one month. Well how should I know, right? I think one month is enough though, after all we used to communicate daily, he always replied to my messages and always punctual. Oh well I suppose he really is just that : quiet. The other Scorps I had fights although quite rare. Usually the fight happened if we were competing such as work or even a game. So I suppose there are two types of you guys: quiet and chatty, which is pretty much common in every sign.
Well sorry not much of help. You said you have no problem dating, so why not date away? until you find the one, that is. Good luck.
Thank you so much for the insight into a scorpio males behaivour. I would like to ask you some advice if I may. First of all I am slightly confused about you previous advice slightly you say "Dont confess your romantic feelings toward them until a week or so after they do. (Keep us guessing, keep us interested)." but in a previous post you say that you find it very difficult to express your feelings first and would rather wait for your partner to first.
This is the prediciment that I am in at the moment. I have been on and off dating a Scorpio since June last year and although he has told me he loves and cares about me exact words were "I love you to bits & care alot about you.", I dont think he is IN love with me. I say this because everytime we seem to get close and we seem to be going somewhere he pulls away from me suddenly, giving me crap excuses as to why hes not been calling etc. Everytime it feels like a such a harsh rejection, but ill pick myself up and carry on with my life. Ive even dated a few other guys, but nothing compaires to him. Then he will come back to me a month or so later full force again, and it seems genuine that he has missed me and wants to know how im doing. Ive only just realised today, after speaking to one of his friends about it, that Im in love with him and have been denying it to myself for a while. Yet again right now he is gearing up to get close to me again, ive been ignoring his calls over the past couple of weeks, and Im wondering if its time to just come out and tell him how I feel? Stand my ground with him a bit and tell him he cant keep treating me like this as he is throwing away something that could be amazing. Its hard to destinguish between hes does this because he likes the chase, or because he has a fear of getting hurt. What do you think?
My friends would all think im a fool, he has a bit of a reputation as a player, but has also managed to hold down long relationships too. Also we do have an amazing connection and a huge "click" but is this "click" just there when he wants it to be?
Im so confused :-S
ok, i'll respond to all later tonight. sorry i havent been on in a while.
Well there have been further developments since then actually. I spoke to him last night and well pretty much said what I needed to say and he was speechless. He had no Idea I felt this way, he thought that "we were on the same page" I dont know what this page is tho. He totally clammed up on me. He was really appologetic he said he felt like a fool and didnt want to be a "stingy beast" but other than that I got nothing out of him.
My exact words were "you drive me crazy & I adore you, but I cant stand it cuz I dont think you feel the same" he said nothing.
Im finding it hard to believe that this whole time he would have only seen me as a friend. We were together for a few months over the summer and then I broke it off saying I think its best we try and be friends, but that never happened we didnt speak. then he came back to me telling me how much he missed me and how amazing he thought I was, intense basically, then nothing, then again, then nothing and this time. Everytime though he would eb calling me 2 - 3 times a day, we would be flirting, talking about a future, teasing eachother with sexy comments so surely he must have realised. Anyway the ball is in his court now, he said he would call me.
I feel a whole lot better for getting it off my chest and at least this way I can get on with getting over him if he doesnt want to be with me. Who knows maybe ive confused him now.
Thanks for listening. Any advice or insight would be appreciated
ok, sorry i've been really busy lately. i'll write my advice soon.
It seems like he's playing with you. Give him an ultimatum in a week or so, and stick with it. Scorpios test people like this; you pass the test by standing up to him. He'll respect you more than he does now, and since we love the chase, dont let him catch you too easily. Good luck, and dont get stung.
So tell me sosocorpio, how long does it take for you to come around after your feelings are hurt because of sensitivity? he ended us beacuse of that in september i got a christmas card in december signing it love and his name after that just when i was moving on, now im back waiting for him to heal again very patiently only because i do understand sensitivity(moon in cancer) me. do you see the card as a sign that he is trying to get us back? i did send him one back as i do still love him. after the card i sent him i expected to hear more from him but as of yet i havent, what are your thoughts on this? im so happy to hear any insight you may have and glad you are here for us who are confused about the behaviors of you scorps. all thanks go out to you!!!!!!! your just what i needed!
OH I FOR GOT ANY ADVICE YOU WOULD CARE TO GIVE FEEL TO DO SO MY EARTH SIGN IS TAURES SO I DO HAVE A LOT OF DETERMINATION TO MAKE THIS WORK AS WELL AS LOYALTY
Okay Stclaire, can you give me his rising, moon, and Venus positions? give me some more info relating to the romantic situation if you want more detailed advice, but here's what i see: your guy got hurt, and depending on his personality, he could have acted like it didn't phase him (but it did more-so than you could imagine) or he could have vanished to brew over the situation for a while. but if you hurt him, and he sent you a letter with "love X" in it, he's probably using it as a way to test the waters, to see if you will allow him another chance. be nice to him, tell you you love him, tell him how sorry you are for hurting him, and that it was never your intention. prove your loyalty when you see him again, and tell him you really want to work things out because no other man's affection could ever replace his own. then go buy a skimpy little outfit from victoria's secret and.... let your body do the talking, if you get my drift lol
first of all thanks so much for trying to clear my mind on this! his ascendent is scorpio( and he is more scorpio then he is leo which is his sun sign, mooon in pisces, venus in gemini,i have proved my loyality many times, im taurus ascendent in gemini, moon in cancer, we were engaged, he about every 2 months would back off , break up then comeback apoligizing profusley ask me to take him back saying he didnt want to lose me i am the love of his life, and he didnt know why he acted that way.so because i love him and feel he is the only one for me and that he was sincere in his love for me i would forgive him and welcome him back gladley( im not into games and making one squirm for acting badly) perhaps this is where i made my mistake. makig it to easy for him to get back in my life!he has done this at least 6 times in less then a year! this last time he was coming over for dinner at 4pm at 430 not here yet(never did this before always call if hes running behind. i call him at 430 he says on my way, i get up set ask why no call? dinner could be overdone by now, inconsiderate of you not to call . i go on saying dont take foe granted, he says sorry, then i say calling would have been better then sorry(oh yes he did do this one other time, said wont happen again i say its ok. ) he then hung up on me never did that before that was it for me, i drove to his house to talk(by my actions he knows i care about us more then letting this nonsence go on) at least thats what i thought was right thing to do , he then pushed me and slammed the door on me. i let him know how agressive he was pushing a woman and told him he must have mant issues to be so mean and cold, he sent me a few e mails nasty! ones, then after a few nasty ones and a few months later he sent me on saying he wished me no harm and that he hoped i would always remember him as one who loved me, and that he was now letting go of me for his own good. i didnt respond to it. another walk out, refusal to work on us. its a pattern all of it and im a yoyo. i didnt respond to that email cause a yoyo i no longer wanted to be, emotional rollercoaster OVER! so i was then moving on as best as i could. then the card at christmas 2 months later. signing his name with love, now im back at square one i did send him a card back, beacuse i love him and im of the mindset that nothing good comes without sacrifice and hard work, also my gut tells me that we are meant to be.so im giving him space all that he needs and me space , both of us need to heal, and if its meant to be ...it will be. so whats your thhoughts?? i could say more but thats most of the info i guess. funny you mentioned the vickies secret stuff..hes bought me many things like that!!....lol see hes such a scorpio! your dear and sweet to read this and help.........love to you!!!!!!
oh i forgot to add this, when we first started seing each other he would ALWAYS say to me that he doesnt deserve me and how luck he is ti have met me at which i was suprised at that, i told him dont say that you need to see yourself as deserving !