Scorpio's Relationship Problems
I have a difficult time maintaining relationships with women, and I cant seem to figure out why. I think its because either A) I lose interest too fast and dont really let the relationship develop before I'm on to the next or B) My persona scares them off because i come on too strong.
I wont get into a relationship with anyone unless I know and trust them for a while prior, and being a very passionate person, I think I feel stronger than they do much faster than they do. Like I'm willing to take the relationship to the next level (emotionally) and they are not. I've had this problem with every sign I've dated except for water signs, which I have a difficult time trusting.
Also, after a while, I just develop trust issues with Girlfriends for no apparent reason. I'm not a player, I want a good relationship, and I would treat a woman with all the respect and love in the world, but it just keeps falling through. Its not because of anything sexual or appearances, as (not to brag) I've never had any problem getting dates or having casual fun.
Does anyone have any ideas as to what could be the problem, or any other Scorpios face similar challenges? Any help is appreciated.
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Hi there scorpio, I myself a scorpio but female. I lose interest in relationships so easy, i get bored with them in some way but it seems mostly with the sex. I am 44 and not yet found that man that can keep me interested, I really dont understand Y not. It is really not alikable thing in my life. I need alot of private time with myself and noone understands that. I have had some good and bad men but I seem to run them off. My attitude with people sucks, I dont trust anyone, I guess I am a loner, but I dont want to be. Does that make since? I met a scorpio man a couple years ago and he was married, for some reason this man came over me like no other ever has. We ran into each other 5 months ago and he is divorced and we started dating, I knew from the moment I laid eyes on this scorpio man I was in trouble, and with my feelings over him. BUT this is 2 scorpios now trying to get along in a relationship, both of us powerful in so many ways, exspecially me, and I have to let this guy go. ? for the scorpio, do u feel like sex is a powerful tool in a relationship, y do I? This is the first scorpio man I have met that thinks sex is the last thing in a realtionship and he just seems like he could care less for sex, BUT when we do get intimante, the sex is so powerful, sexy, like nothin I have experinced but he just doesnt want to well "do it". and I am trying to get away from him. I dont think us scorpios can get that complete trusting feeling with anyone, it will always be in the back of our minds.
Hello soscorpio, first of all, it's about time all us girls out there got some insight from a scorp guy! OK, so i've been a victim of a failed relationship with a scorpio guy and he seems to exhibit some of the behaviour you are mentioning here about yourself. He had been involved in numerous relationships before he met me, and when we did, we just clicked and it was amazing. He was very passionate and intense and one day just like that without any warning, he ended it. I believe the reason could be as keldjoran puts it:
'If I had to guess based on stereotypical Scorp behavior, it would be because you can "control" them too easy and there's no challenge, am I close?'
He even said to me when breaking up that he feels like his personality was too strong for me (why, because he had gotten me too involved?). I feel like he lost interest so quickly because he rushed into the relationship too fast. Is that what you are doing? If he had taken the time to get to know me as a 'person' and a 'friend', he would have learnt to appreciate me a lot more.
I suggest you read some of the posts out there about scorp men as it will give you an insight of how this kind of behaviour makes your partner feel, and what you can do to prevent this from happening in the future. Hope this helps!
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Well...dealing with many in your sign as I have, and knowing what I do about Scorpios, I'd say that this is probably your own doing. One thing you didn't say is where you are meeting these women...? Are you dating women from the same circle, or is there no relation between them at all? A guy who habitually "humps and dumps" will build a reputation like wildfire amongst a social circle of women...same for the men's circles about women like that. It could be that your reputation proceeds you. If that isn't the case, then you definitely need to examine your mode of operation.
I am a Libra, but my Mercury is in Scorpio (I think like a Scorpio), and my Venus is in Virgo. That makes me a gal who longs for that "perfect" relationship, and it always alludes me...because I scrutinize way too much, and my heart will except nothing less than that love that keeps it a'flutter. All a guy has to do is open his mouth to talk, and I can tell you in five minutes whether or not he's getting the boot. Intelligence at first meet is what gets my attention. Stupid gets you the door. Once that barrier has been breached, then I start thining about looks, chemistry, and life compatibility aspects. THEN, I'll do his chart and get the skinny on him. If everything there is a go, then things will proceed.
Maybe you're dating the wrong signs. A Libra gal like myself will definitely keep you on your toes, as Libra gals seem to always enjoy a certain amount of adoration. They're used to guys pulling that "intensity gig" on them, and don't go all gooey inside if you go there a little quicker. They are less likely to get all clingy after the first sex session, but don't discount their ability to feel something for you. It takes them time as well. But check your crude language and behavior (if you're gulty of that), or you won't get through the front door with a Libra. They are romantics at heart, and crudeness doesn't fit anywhere in that picture. Still, they do demand a certain prowess in the bedroom. If you were to commit some faux pas such as finishing up way too soon, it's doubtful that the Libra lady will ever see you again. We/They can teach in this area, but we don't really want to. We want a guy who really knows how to push our buttons NATURALLY without instruction...sound familiar? It's more romantic that way...
Since sex is very important to you, I highly suspect that you are taking these gals for a "test drive" way too soon, and then dismissing them because you didn't "feel it" with them. Hun, women in general don't really open up the way you need so soon. Women need to TRUST YOU before they open themselves up sexually. You need to start getting to know them a little better first. By then, you may already assess that you don't really want to go any further....BEFORE you get them in the sack. You'll leave a lot less wounded feelings that way, and have a much better chance of getting what you really want...a truly trustworthy companion that you can have really hot sex with, and a best friend.
I hope this helps to give you perspective...
Awwww soscop may I have a crack? --lol-- (please note: I am a cancer female)
"I have a difficult time maintaining relationships with women, and I cant seem to figure out why. I think its because either A) I lose interest too fast and dont really let the relationship develop before I'm on to the next"
If your losing interest then I think it's not you it's your choice. If your losing interest in the begining, then you two just don't have the "click". That's not you or them. You just have not found a person to keep you guessing. Pretend it's like trying on shoes-- they look great on the shelf but put them on and OH NO! Kankles. Kankles baby. Where were the strappy sandales???
"or B) My persona scares them off because i come on too strong."
Hmmm--- That could be because when you find somebody who does hold your interest you want to know everything and anything you can about them because your excited you found somebody who is (dun, dun, dun) holding your interest. So without realizing it you overwhelmed them. (aka the stalker) Most guys are not stalkers they are like puppies in a window. Soooo excited your picking them they'll knock you over with all the licking and jumping on you. In turn you get too overwhelmed and give them back to the manger.
"I wont get into a relationship with anyone unless I know and trust them for a while prior, and being a very passionate person, I think I feel stronger than they do much faster than they do. Like I'm willing to take the relationship to the next level (emotionally) and they are not. I've had this problem with every sign I've dated except for water signs"
I don't know if that is a water sign thing (I'm very new to astrology and know little about it-- but I have had some Scorp drama which brought me here to begin with-- but back to you) I am the same way. I protect myself -my heart- and never give in until I know how the other person feels first.
Could it be that your excited that you have found somebody that could have "potentail" mate status and you are ready to "move closer emotionally" faster than they are and you feel they are moving slower thus leading you to believe they care less when really they may not? They just may be "feeling you out"?
"which I have a difficult time trusting."
Water signs? hard time trusting? Hmmm-- That's Cancer and Pisces. I dunno I'm as true blue as a first prize ribbon. ---???--- on that one.
"Also, after a while, I just develop trust issues with Girlfriends for no apparent reason. I'm not a player, I want a good relationship, and I would treat a woman with all the respect and love in the world, but it just keeps falling through."
I think that's kinda normal. Sounds like you fall in love-- or close to it, and then get scared of getting hurt so the trust issues come into play. Nobody wants to risk getting cheated on or hurt. But unfortunately relationships are all about taking chances. Nothing is 100% for sure. I think your reason for your "trust issues" may be you don't want to get hurt and want some sort of "insurance". Sadly I don't think they sell that kind.
"Its not because of anything sexual or appearances, as (not to brag) I've never had any problem getting dates or having casual fun."
Hmmm--- your a Scorpio so I do believe that.
"Does anyone have any ideas as to what could be the problem, or any other Scorpios face similar challenges? Any help is appreciated."
I think that Scorpio men-- from what I have read lately-- and the ones I know-- are super sensitive. I think that most will hurt themself rather than risk getting hurt. I also think-- and I could be wrong-- you all want a sweet, loving, faithful partner. Somebody you can love and trust and "relax" with-- and at the very same time--- fear all to death that if you find that person you will get attached to the perfect mate who will leave you and hurt you.
It reminds me of buying a 3 carat diamond ring and then keeping it home in the box and never wearing it because your scared to death you'll lose it. You'll never really get to enjoy the ring.
I think when you try on shoes don't be discouraged by kankles because there are always strappy ones-- you just have to look. And If you do buy the ring wear it! Nobody ever died from losing a ring. They may have been a bit poorer-- but always wiser.
What do you think? Am I way off base?
Moonbeauty - - Chapeau (well done) you nailed that beautifully. I even recognized myself in there. Thanx.
Why thank you flowsco you are a GREAT teacher! --lol--
Since women who dont allow me to control them keep my interest while driving me crazy (in a good way), I think you have a solid point. Once there is no more challenge, no more chase, I do lose interest. Recently, I got together with a girl who I had chased for over three years, and the first week we were together, I dumped her because there was simply no challenge.
And yes, I am young, so maybe things will improve with time. Thanks for your advice, it is much appreciated.
I understand your struggle, and it does make sense. I assume the censored word you've used repeatedly is sexually-oriented, and to many relationship's detriment, se x is a frequently-used weapon in the scorpio's arsenal. But why should such a powerful act of love, which is used to bond two people to the highest degree, be used in any way other than to better a relationship? May I suggest you try dating a pisces, as we scorpios are usually too intense to be in a same-sign relationship?
Ma Leo -
I'd like to apologize for us scorpios' bitter-sweet habits in what we call love (lust???), but I love the power too much to lie.
The ''click" you mention is a mystery to me as well; it seems I have the ability to control most any social interaction with most any person so that the outcome is none other than what we originally intended. Scorps can make nearly anyone feel that "click", making their prey feel a connection, just to indiscriminately walk away, as though it never even occurred.
They say we scorps can be pointed out by our infamous, piercing stare; was this the case with your heartbreaker?
Certainly, rushing relationships is one of my biggest problems, but I'm sure he would've appreciated you more, had he taken the time.
As for you, I must be honest; My former scorpio self, being insecure as most of us are, used women as a pathway for getting attention and affection, though usually not in a sexual way, which may have been what your guy did. Truth be told, any seeming innocent remark or action can put us off in the first interactions (as you can bet he's going to be analyzing every move you make).
If it is any consolation, Leos are my personal weakness, so I'm sure you will have no trouble landing one of my kind sooner or later... given you're still crazy enough to attempt it! Thanksfor the help, Best of luck to you :]
First off, let me say that I've always loved Cancer women, they're always such sweethearts.
You're right, Beauty, I'm not looking for kankles - too bad dating isn't as easy as shoe shopping... But then again where would the fun come from?
The "puppy" theory does make sense; when I find a new sweetheart, I usually do have a difficult time playing hard to get, I'm glad you brought that to my attention.
All of us water signs are emotional like that, though a scorp will rarely let anyone see his inner softie. None of you know me personally, so I have no problem opening up. Emotional pain is devastating, so we guard our hearts, thus missing out on so many moonlit, passionate moments with the one person from our dreams.
You do make some very strong points for someone who has just begun studying in this art, which is a very impressive thing.
I think the "insurance" you refer to comes built in with us water signs, which, ironically we pay for with the same thing we originally set out to gain; Love itself.
You are absolutely right in that we scorpios are super-sensitive, though we would very rarely expose ourselves to any vulnerability. Your description of my ideal mate is also dead-on. It just seems to me that spending time with the person you love should be exciting and relaxing, and not feel like jail yard labor.
There is plenty of logic in your "ring" and "kankle" metaphors, none of which i disagree with. In the end, I guess it all goes back to that old saying "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".
Thank you so much for your excellent advice, and good luck to you.
I'd like to thank everyone who replied, and who will reply to this topic with a piece of advice for anyone who has "scorp drama". These are some of the things women have done to me which have made me want them so much more. I'm sure this will help anyone who needs it, and if not, I'd be happy to help anyone with a question.
Ignore half of their calls/texts/emails, and dont be afraid to take your sweet time returning them, while offering no explanation as to why you took so long to reply other than "I was busy" ( You will be questioned, make no mistake). Take an extra twenty minutes while they're waiting for you to show up for a date, it will drive them insane, believe me. Dont confess your romantic feelings toward them until a week or so after they do. (Keep us guessing, keep us interested). When things get intimate between you and him (this may be difficult, but stick to it), give him an inch, but then push him away, saying only "You need to work for it". Dont give him anything else for a while. Prolonged eye contact is your best weapon, and I know most of us LOVE strong women. Bottom line, if you want to land a scorpio, make us wait and work for what we want. Whatever "power" we have is just an illusion, we are all suckers for women. Just remember to give him a little tease once in a while, and when tested (you will be) dont be afraid to put a scorpio in his place, as we all secretly respect such a quality in a woman. Do things like what I've listedabove, and it wont be long before your scorpio is just that - Yours.
Hmmm SoScorpio. I think you should also add what they have to do if it doesn't work and they want or need to move on from a man's perspective.
You see falling in love with us Scorpio isn't that hard but it's when it doesn't work is where the drama really starts.
Any advice on that one?
Wow soscorp your response made me smile and sad all at the same time. Smile because you agreed with me and sad becasue agreed with me.
Not pushing my problem and I'm not looking for a response--- but i just had to tell you that my "gut" has been telling me for quite some time that I put my Scorp in a bad place. I knew he liked me a lot--- and I could tell it bothered him.
Can I ask you a question? And I bet A LOT of people want to know--- This may take some thought on your part-- Why is it so hard for Scorpio men to open up-- with how you feel about things? I just gotta know (smiles) what exactly are you afraid of when it comes to being hurt? Heartbreak? being lonely?
Sorry, Flowsco, I don't understand the question. You'll have to specify what you mean in other words.
Just read your post it showed up after I typed. Thanks! LOVE IT!!!!! ---lol---
MoonBeauty, what makes you think you've put your scorpio in a "bad place"?
Scorpio men wont open up because scorpios are notorious for having lived through a traumatized childhood. I'm not alone when I say that my shaky upbringing is in part responsible for my secretive nature, the fear of being picked apart by those who I care so deeply for. We scorps are so very sensitive, the slightest insult he perceives (whether real or imagined) could hurt him so deeply, more than most could imagine.
Most scorps are very insecure, which explains our secretive nature. I was lucky to have overcame most of my insecurities, though they still haunt me when in social situations. I'd have to say that the reason we dont open up is because of the fear that the person we feel so passionate and loving towards wont share the same feelings, or worse, would reject them completely.
We love so very deeply, likely deeper than most other signs, and the pain can stay for years when someone we love hurts us. For example, a girl I fell for rejected me three years ago. It took me two years to get over the heartbreak, and though I still see her in school almost daily, I haven't spoken to her since that day, three years ago.
I have found out that this is not an uncommon scorp reaction to rejection - we either retaliate viciously, or ignore the fact that the person who hurt us ever even existed. Hope I helped, MoonBeauty.
SoScorpio. You described how a woman of any sign would be able to make herself irresistible to a Scorpio man.
But unfortunately many of the ladies that have come to the forum are or have been with a Scorpio that couldn’t give them what they expected of the relationship or have a hard time living with them or have a hard time breaking away from them. Leaving most of them either bitter and/or in an emotional mess.
The Scorpio male on the other hand doesn’t lighten up and doesn't leave them alone because they still have the idea that the woman is still theirs and making it nearly impossible to move on to another relationship.
My question is how do they effectively can break that tie and move on without feeling emotionally assaulted?
I know it sounds harsh but it’s hard to emotionally abandon a Scorpio.