Confused by different readins from differnt psychics
I have been going though so much for the last year and over the last 5 months or so I have consulted several "psychics" or "readers". A coulpe of them have been well known - others not so well known, at a variety of price ranges and I have asked pretty much the same three or four questions over this period of time. The consistency has been amazing. I have "discarded" the information that didn't fit or that was not within the patterns of answers of all readers. Recently I got a reading from someone who knew things about me before I said anything - names of people I knew and the fact that I was lying down in bed and my cat was there also. Things this person said were consistent with the others except in regards to one person. This person is a relative new friend - we met last May - in my life. Tthe other psychics said he was here to help me and to guide me through a difficult time. They consistently saw us together on a number of different plains. However, this recent psychic (who even knew my "friend's" name) told me that he has a hidden agenda, a dark side and several other disturbing issues.I thought maybe she had him mixed up with my exhusband, but she said "no - it was definitely my "friend." " that she was seeing and that he had not been totally truthful with me either.
So now I am disturbed. I really felt in my heart that my friend was here to help me. I felt like all the other psychics were very correct. However, since I do not know my friend that well and do not live near him - we mostly talk on the phone about things he could help me out with and advice we give each other - I don't know everything about him. This gives me pause to think that I could be wrong, that I heard only what I wanted to hear from the initial readins and that this reader might be telling me more of the truth . It also bothers me that, since I misjudged my husband and did not discover his issues until we were married for about 5 years and then I continued to "live with it" until he decided to leave last January, I could be totally misjudging another person, or even many people.
This is one reason I sought help - because I am worried that I may not be able to judge people well and could easily be caught up in another relationship that could even be worse than my last one. The issue right here is not a relationship - yet - but I thought it was a pretty strong friendship - the possibility that I could be taken advantage of - emotionally, monetarily or any other way, because of my bad judgement frightens the heck out of me.
I really don't want to believe that last person who gave me the disturbing reading - except that she got too many other things "right". Not that any of the other readers have sugar-coated anything either - but this was the first truly negative information I received about this individual.
I am worried and a little scared. Any insight would be helpful.
turtledust -- psychic and intuition aside, I would advise you to ask your friend some questions. Be careful to listen to "how" he answers you. If he pauses, or answers with a question, then you may need to proceed with caution. The reason I suggest psychic aside is it seems you need to rely on you and not so much on your readings. I have caught myself doing that in the past, but when I realized other people were doing it from what I was telling them, it got scary. These people were relying too much on what I was "getting" or telling them, rather than on living their every day lives the way they should have been. I loved them dearly, but I felt very responsible if I was wrong about anything, and they followed the wrong advice. They hung onto every one of my little words, and that was really scary. Way too much responsibility for me.
So, just ask him some generic questions that could be key questions to find out any truths or non-truths about him. Questions such as: "Are you married?" "Do you have any children?" "Are you in a relationship?" Even a simple question like, "How old are you again?" Things like that can reveal a lot more than one would realize if they were being conned, but now have open eyes. If he is true, then you should get a "feeling" since you took your blinders off. If not, then I apologize, but I hope this can help.
Happy New Year!
So I drew a card for you and one for him. For you, I drew the Fool, a card that speaks of fresh starts and exciting possibilities. Be aware and don't be blinded by your own wants or insecurities because if you go that route you'll end up second guessing yourself. You're easily led and have a soft heart that bruises easily. If you let your fears get in the way of your journey you're going to end up bruising it yourself. You need to let go of your insecurities and embrace the changes that this new year are going to bring for you.
For him, the King of Cups. He's kind and gentle and very family oriented. He likes to be with people and has a helpful nature. He's the type of person who, if he's not already, should be active in his community because he has a leadership presence, something that helps to motivate others to get things done. A mover and a shaker when he chooses to be. You're drawn to this quality in him, and you seek his guidance because of it. He likes that. He sees you in a romantic light but is cautious. He knows how sentimental he can be. Be careful about making any derogatory comments about the people in his life that he cares for -- even if he's venting to you. He'll get angry and unreasonable.
That's what my cards tell me. I hope they're accurate.
I don't get anything really negative with him, but be cautious. There may be some things he's held back from you, and you don't want to blindly run in his direction only to find that things are not as they seem. This doesn't mean that he's harboring BAD things, just things. We all have skeletons. We all deserve the space and privacy to keep them in our closets if we wish. You have to decide whether you want to find out what his are or not.
Follow your gut in this relationship and stop looking to outward sources for your emotional sanity, because the more you ask the same questions the less likely you are to get answers that satisfy you. It's like the Universe gets annoyed and stops answering, or when it does answer the messages are jumbled and contradictory. I think you need to stop and wait before you get more readings on this, and when you do I suggest you select one or two readers you connect well to and stick to them.
Dear Amantim: Thank you so much for your response. This is what I had been doing and I was trusting myself and kind of using the general readings to help me clarify things. I have been incredibly stressed out over the holidays and have been reaching out to anyone who can help regarding so many different issues in my life. I have been getting way too wrapped up in
details of al sorts, losing sleep over too many things and not really focusing on what's really important. I will take your advice to heart and get on with it. I have too many things to do to sit around and dwell on what may or may not be. Thanks so much! It's almost like I just had to have someone tell me what I already knew before I would really take charge of my own stuff.
Dear Silverwitch - THANKS SO MUCH for your advice. Even though I feel sort of silly now, I am glad I posted my question because what I really needed was a good kick in the pants - a jumpstart. I need to take care of my own home and job and kids first and take care of myself and figure out what it is I really need and where I am going and the rest will follow. I am trying too hard to avoid walking into beartraps this time around. But even the chuckholes started to look like beartraps - I have to stop being so over -anxious and "afraid" of what might go wrong.
Thank you for pulling my cards. That's me alright - the Fool. Did you see a movie called the Astronaut Farmer? If there was anyone who would truly believe that they could build a Saturn Rocket in their back yard and fly into orbit - it would be me. I've just had too many other ideas keeping me occupied.
turtledust -- You're very welcome. I hope that it does help. You really shouldn't be going through such turmoil. You deserve to live and love life. You have such a caring and loving around you that just beams from your very being. Just remember: You get what you put out. You should be getting good, if you discontinue "the worry". It will only slow you down and attract more negativity. Good luck! Do keep me posted on what you "get" after asking your questions.
Butting in without reading
Amantim! Miss You!!! Hope you had a great Christmas and new years! I wish you had MSN!! I added your e-mail, but you weren't there!
All the best,
Sorry for butting in....I am about to read.
Turtledust, first and foremost I want to tell you that I am not a reader. I am discovering a few things about myself, I do know that I am an empath. But am in the process of learning, which may take some time. What I am about to say is just from my heart and feelings. Things that I feel, and hopefully may be some guidance to you. But do not take what I say to heart, as I said, I am very much in the learning/development stages.
First off, I don't feel that you've "misjudged" your first ex. I think that he was everything he was, that YOU believed he was...in the beginning. I think he went through a change. And turned out to be someone very wrong for you in the end. Lies, deceit....was all he could muster to try and make you happy. You were blinded by love, but always had that doubt. That uncertainty in the back of your mind. In the end....the doubt prevailed.
First off, I have never believed that a true reader would charge money. Not to say they are wrong, sometimes, you gotta do what ya gotta do to make money, but sometimes, the ones that make money don't have your best interest at heart. Sometimes, they just don't know. Not by choice, it just happens. Not all ...it's impossible that psychics are right all the time, but when pressured with money, have to come up with something, right? even the most well-known are prone to mistakes. Sometimes readers can't be right 100% Yanno? Not to say they are wrong, but it's like any other chances that a taken in life....say by day. You take a test, get 85%. That's an AWESOME grade. But that still leaves 15%....wrong answers.
Either way, I would advise you to look into things that "didn't fit or wasn't right" there might be some hidden aspects of that. Future-wise.
As far as your most recent worry. I hate to say it cause I'm sure you've heard it before.....but follow your gut. Follow your heart. Everything you do is a risk....every chance you did not take may turn out to be a regret. Everyone gets hurt, everyone. It's all about who is worth the hurt.
I, personally don't feel this man is for you, but from what you have stated here....YOU are the only one who feels this. Knows this. Deep inside. If you are already questioning, it is something you need to look into. If you feel it is ONLY something you are questioning because of your past, then take some time out for yourself. Be alone. As long as it takes, feel....what you NEED to feel before moving forward with him, because even if this man IS for YOU......unless you take that time..it will NEVER feel right. No matter what you tell yourself.
Love yourself FIRST.
Live for yourself.
Turn to yourself.
Because in YOURSELF, you will find solace. Only YOU can make yourself complete.
Ps. I don't think this man has any "hidden agendas"......do you? And if so...what would they be? THINK, Girlfriend....THINK. What could a possible "hidden agenda" be? How could it benefit him? Besides what we see in the movies? EVERYONE has a dark side....you, me, and mother Theresa. No-one is perfect. SURE, it happens. But you already on the edge, if this man had 'ill will" would you have not seen it by now? Feel something? Or is this by what the readers that you paid good money for told you? For real, who had the agenda? You need to look inside yourself and see what you need to see. Not what people tell you to see. He/She may be right........but when? When was this "dark side" discovered? When did it take place? Past/present/future? Honey, I have a dark side.....big time. At some points in my life, I LET it make me into something I am not, but I can guarantee you readers would have seen it that way, at some point. Cause that's just the way it was. People can change. I have changed, because I am learning. Oh man, everyday is a challenge.
Again, go with what you FEEL...because you can FEEL.
Otherwise, I think if you explained a little more on what you are worried about with your current relationship, would help. This is what I am getting.
You take care, and happy 2010 to you!!
ps....if this means anything to you...and you want to read about my "dark side..and disturbing issues" click my name, my story is in a thread. "can anyone tell me why this happened'
We all have them, in different forms. Different times. It's all in how you receive them. Some, not well, others "well, it happened time to move on"
Well, can't say I was always innocent. I have made sooooooooooo many mistakes. That doesn't make the person who I am today. It never will. I live and learn. Time is only time.
It passes, no matter what you do. I do know is that I am becoming into someone I love. And it took 32 years.
Hi Blondie - thank you for your comments. I think what bothers me the most is that up until about 23 years ago, I had good luck with the friends I made. I trusted people that I knew and "grew" with as an undergraduate and graduate student. I was in a rather sheltered community of friends. I totally trusted all them. I went onto professional school in a bigger city . I had a couple of "crushes" that sort of dragged me down - that happens to everyone. Its easy to get over it if you know that the guy was no good or if the situation was just never going to work out. But with my husband, he started out telling small lies in the beginning which I eithe ignored or did not know were lies. Or he left out information about his family - alcohol addicted relatives, dysfunction, denial - actually they were all incredibly good liars because they had been in denial all their lives. When my husband started behaving badly, all I got was - oh he's such a good guy, blah blah blah and he would say one thing and do another and tell me he didn't say it and so on. Eventually it sort of just drove me crazy. I started to doubt everything. The more I questioned him, the more he lied and lied on top of the lies, but always made me think that everything was my fault, or I was mistaken about what he said. He even fooled the attorneys and some high priced divorce therapists for about 3 months. THEN THEY CAUGHT ON. What worries me is that maybe I am too trusting. I could easily repeat the same mistake. My husband was a very controlling person. No one I knew at work ever liked him.
The few friends I did have didn't like him. The new male friend I talk about actually knows him. My husband first talked about him as if the two of them were friends. But now I hear that even he (my new friend) does not think that much of my husband either. Everything tells me that my new friend really is a nice guy. He's offered to do some things for me - some small things, which he has done - and some big things -which I sort of take with a grain of salt because that's what I wound up doing with my husband's promises. Maybe he will really do a favor for me - maybe he really is sincere. But there is that "deer-in-the-headlights-freezing-fear that I could be wrong again - whether its this guy or anyone else. That part of me that used to be able to judge people and trust them has been shocked, ruined, wasted. I am always going to going to be questioning. I am always going to looking for alterior motives if someone does something nice for me. I feel caught between the rocks - if I let myself trust someone - I'm going to screw up - if I don't let myself trust someone - I might screw up and lose a friend. II feel as if I am totally unable to judge people.
A recent example just came to mind- I thought I had made a female friend over the past few months. I had initially hired her to help me out a few times, watching the kids, doing some household work.She kept insisting that she was my friend and would help me out if I needed it. We spent a few hours here and there on the phone. But whenever I asked her to come over and help me out, I would pay her and then it came to the point where she would come over, spend some time helping me out here and there, then call me up a few days later expecting to be paid. Now she has a job and never calls me or returns my phone calls. This sort of indicates to me that this was not a "real friend." Only as long as I had the money to pay her was she "my friend."
Everyone has the same sort of problems because any of these types of people can take advantage of anyone. I am just more worried about it . I don't have a whole lot of years left to find a the right companion, I have just driven myself in circles. So the best thing for me to do might just be - to do nothing at all - and let the tide wash in and the tide wash out - as many tiimes as it takes for as many years as it takes and accept the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life.
turtledust -- How sad that you want to give up rather than take a chance again. I only say this, because that is what I have done. I have chosen to be alone rather be in a destructive relationship again. The last 4 relationships I have been in (including my husband) have cheated on me. So, I gave up. Being alone's not so bad when I'm still raising my son and have someone here with me, but I can only imagine what you might be going through. I'm so sorry that you feel such angst, as I feel your pain. Just remember, even if your friend isn't the right guy for you, does NOT mean that HE isn't out there. For most people, the first person that people date is NOT their perfect match. It's kind of like practice. Practice until you learn from each one what you really want and need in someone. Hey, maybe your friend IS right for you. But something you said, reminded me of what my Mom has always told me in indecisive times, "When in doubt, do nothing." Maybe you shouldn't worry so much about it, and just let it be. It should reveal itself if you open your senses to it. Good luck, sweetie.
Nice to hear from you! I wondered what happened?!? Happy New Year!
Hi thank you all for your help. You know - I think I have realized what part of my problem really is.
I am one of those people who has so often gone out of their way to do things for other people and not really had too many people go out of their way to help me in a long time, that I just don't really believe when people say that they are going to help you. I have had people talk as if they are going to do something for me, or as if they will help me out if I need the help and then nothing materializes related to those words, So I tend to wait to see what a person actually does rather than depend upon what they say they will do. Unfortunately, I guess this comes across as mistrusting what people say and maybe it puts up a negative energy field that forces people away.
Perhaps I should have been happy with what I got from my husband. Perhaps that is the best I will ever get and perhaps I wanted too much. I think - maybe I am the one who should have wanted to do less, been happier in the state I was in and not complained about it. Things can always be worse.
Its sad really, part of me just doesn't want to accept that there can be people who will help you or who want to make plans with you in a sincere manner. So I am always looking for clues that they are trying to pull one over on me. I am so afraid of being lied to and of having my hopes dashed that it no doubt comes across as negativity and unhappiness if I have a reading done while I am in that state.
I still find it amazing that their are people on the forum willing to offer advice and help and do readings for people out of kindness. I just need to be more positive and just focus on doing my job and living my life and see who comes along, I guess. But, there are still questions and things I don't know. Things I am afraid to ask. Things I need help answering because I don't trust my judgement. That's why I came to this forum. Because here, I can find people that can
help me put some things in perspective rationally and take them out of the emotional state.
Hi again Amanda, my computer is all wonky, I can't keep my MSN on for long. I have to take it in..ugh. Hope you are well.
Turtledust, I know how you feel...as I have been there too. But you must forgive. Forgive yourself for your mistakes...nothing is ever really a mistake, it's all a learning process. You must look deep inside yourself and find what it is that is preventing you to love. It's hard to trust people, specially when you get hurt. But if you keep that negative thought process, then you are destined to be what you've never wanted to be. It will take time. It won't be easy. But you can achieve happiness and teach yourself how to trust again.