How to please my cancerian partner



  • can anyone plz suggest me how to regain the trust of my partner. She is a cancerian.

    we used to talk over phone and send sms regularly.

    Suddenly she stopped replying to my messages and answering my calls.

    i think she is backing off since i sent her too many romantic messages.

    also i think she is in love with someone else. HOw to win her back?



  • Forcing the situation to speed ahead is what got you here so more of that will not help. Sorry, but you cannot get back what you never really owned. You can't make anything happen. If she misses a part of something you offered she will respond when ready but it's up to you to maintain a boundary she's comfortable with. And yes there probably is someone else and you must accept that--I sense she is not feeling totaly happy so she explores the possibility of more but does it half heartedly. If you are a possibility it must be her decision. If this is a long distance relationship you are going to have a hard time compeating or truelly knowing what is real. The reality of relationships must pass the test of everyday life not just phone and messages. People are not all they say but more what they do. You will always only know her with half the story missing untill you spend some real time together. Then you will be able to answer your own questions.



  • agreed i can't hv something which i don't own. but still i hv the gut feeling that there's a possibility. she asserts that i am her bst frn. she likes me for that. i don't know whether she is using me just for emotional support or does she loves me. but d fact is i m falling more and more for her with every passing day



  • I had the same problem with a cancerian male. I freaked out at first, then i read all about cancer males and it was always the same story, so it can apply to a cancer woman as well. I found out that after awhile they feel smothered and back off, especially if the messages are too romantic. She may not be seeing someone else, but she may just need space. Cancers like to go into hiding into their "shell". You need to be patient and let her come back to you. Also, time seems to have a whole different dimension to cancers. We may think 2 or 3 days is a long time while for a cancer a week is nothing. I know it's hard to wait for them to contact you, but wait for a week and if she doesn't contact you then send her a friendly text, nothing romantic. Otherwise you may turn her off even more. you cannot appear needy and dependent to a cancer. They do not like to be smothered. I've also heard this from cancer women.

    Cancers also do not let go easily so she will come back, you need to be pateint.



  • thanks luazinha, but i m pissed off by her behavior. i don't want to send her any more messages. but suppose if she texts me in a month or so, then how should i react. i think she has a big ego, and myself being a capric, i don't like egoistic people



  • Hmmm...it's more about 'I, Me and Myself' within a cancer that bothers other not so 'self-loving' people. They do what they feel is right at the moment. As for your Lady Cancer I'm sure she feels smothered and a li'l violated with your romantic messages...Its a threat to them! Also they like to take their own sweet time in a relationship and build it carefully in stages. She'd get back to you when she feels comfortable so try staying away till that happens. Infact, they value partners who aren't very easy to get. Just act coolly when she texts you. Don't make a big deal outta it. And treat her like a 'friend' more than a lover this time around showing your good qualities every once in a while. All this is likely to make her notice you!



  • ok



  • Cancers need time in a relationship. It's entirely possible she just got out of a bad relationship and is in no hurry to rush back into one. If that's the case, like astrodame said, be her friend first if that's what she needs. (If you can give me your exact birth date and hers, I can tell you more about your compatibility).



  • HI Junemoon26, my DOB is 16 Jan and hers is 26 June. can u throw some light on our compatibility. One more request, if somehow or the other our friendship gets back on track, then how frequently should i call or text her, probably once in a week or fortnightly. i think my frequent calls smothers her.



  • take time to evaluate where your needs are being met, don't get wraped up in "what could be" accept it as what it is for now. Don't call. When she does call you ( a month or so) tell her how you feel. If she can't handle the truth, it's best you know now and cut your losses.



  • according to another cancer woman who posts on these threads, 2 to 3 times a week is frequent enough, but in some cases, once a week. A cancer mail told me not to let it go past a month though. I don't think she has a big ego, she was just feeling smothered and needs space. Cancers tend to be selfish though, their feelings seem to be more important than yours. But it's us Leos that have the big ego...because we believe that we are truly marvelous, lol!



  • 2 to 3 times a week without them returning a call? Is that fair? Do you think that it is wise for one interested in a loving mutually benificial relaiotionship to allow themselves to be dismissed so easily? At what point does one say wait a minute I have needs too? When is ok for the person on the givng end to demand reciprocity?

    I say from the begining, if you allow this to go on without saying anything, pretending that being ignored is not a big deal. It WILL happen again, and again. State your needs and if they can not be met, don't get entangled in an uneven union.



  • mascara>>think she has a big ego, and myself being a capric, i don't like egoistic people

    Sandran712>>If you are talking to her with this attitude.No wonder she ran.And she is probably hurt by you.You say you are a Capricorn?

    I have an issue with a Cappy male and I wondered if you would stick around so I can learn about your feelings towards this Cancer lady of yours.Maybe we can help you fix it a little.



  • luazinha>>But it's us Leos that have the big ego...because we believe that we are truly marvelous, lol!

    Sandran712>>Oh my !!The bologna being tossed around in here.I need a loaf of bread...LOL



  • everything I read about cancers say that they don't like to be smothered. We all have different definitions of what is loving and what is smothering. If someone called me every day I would back off as well, while some may find that to be "loving" I find that to be "needy" and "smothering".

    If you need to have your needs met in a very specific way, as a need to be in constant contact 24/7, then you should find someone who has the same expectations, but if you fall for someone with different ways of expression and want to grow from that experiece, I think it can be a growing experience to learn about differences and how others view certain actions and learn about other people's needs.

    If you don't like it and can't handle it, walk away. We have our own choices. If one person's need is the need for space and the other person is the need for contact, you can meet in the middle, walk away or give in.



  • WOW mascara, the Cancer girl has my same birthday!!!! (June 26). It's probably not the same year, but I can tell you, although I am loyal in a relationship, I like guys who play hard to get a little. I was with a guy 4 months ago who called me every day and never had much interesting to say and it drove me insane so I left. If she truly likes you, trust me, she'll call. Or, treat her coolly, like an aquainttance even if/when you see her. This will make her think, and she'll most likely miss having your attention. Be a little mysterious. Your Cancer has a complex nature that drives you insane at times, but if she does confide what she's thinking if she trusts you, it will be very worth it. You adore her intelligence. She needs someone loyal, and her birth date number, 8, indicates that a loyal Capricorn like you could be perfect. Give her a little space now, and I see her coming around. Be patient. Good luck!

    (If you can tell me the years you both were born, I can probably see more).



  • Junemoon>>called me every day and never had much interesting to say and it drove me insane so I left.

    Sandran712>>I had a friend that acted like this.Never called everyday.I was a 2 hour distance.We were classmates before I moved..I would calll him and go visit him.He was very boring to talk to.But, he was my friend.He was depressed.And,I did what i could.. I called him one day and he didn't get my message.His brother called me to tell me he killed himself with a gun.The news was very shocking.As I do not know why I decided to leave my phone number on his machine.Something told me to do so..



  • sexygem>>2 to 3 times a week without them returning a call? Is that fair? Do you think that it is wise for one interested in a loving mutually benificial relaiotionship to allow themselves to be dismissed so easily

    Sandran712>>This is why a Cancer has problems with relationships.We spend too much time away.If we get hurt ..we do not tell the person who hurt us in a reasonable time period.My guess this guy had said something to hurt her feelings.We may want this relationship.But, if we get hurt we run.



  • luazinha>> If someone called me every day I would back off as well, while some may find that to be "loving" I find that to be "needy" and "smothering".

    Sandran712>>My sons dad called me everyday.Drove me nuts.Sometimes 6-7 times a day.But, you sure wished they would now that they are gone.



  • I AGREE WITH SEXYGEM