Need a reading and advice

  • My x boyfriend (bd 9-28-64) and I (7-29-64) met in January 2005. We hit it off completely and he told me he thought we were soul mates - which I did too. He was back and forth because he has been married 3 times and said he was afraid of commitment. I have learned that he definitely has commitment issues - Long story short we have now broken up since August. This is the longest ever that we have been apart. He started texting me and then called on Dec 26th. I went over to his house on the 27th and ... well I shouldn't have let it go that far but did because I love him. I feel know he just used me to fulfill his needs. He got mad at me because I told him that I was now dating and he asked me where I got my sweater from and I told him a gift from one of the guys that I dated. He hasn't spoken to me since then AT ALL!! He left me and had relations with another woman for a whole month and is now on the internet sites - and he feels that I shouldn't accept gifts from someone else!!! Part of me feels that I should move on but I felt we were so good together. He has even told me that he enjoys me and doesn't want to let go but he has other influences (x wife - the first one) and children. This man was a man of God and really into church but became distant from church, the Lord and everyone else. He used to be a Sunday School teacher but stepped away from that as well. In August when he got his computer he began to stay on it day and night. I believe that he has been cursed!

    So with ALL of that said - can someone please give me some insight and tell me what this man is thinking!! Thanks.

  • You and he had an intense physical relationship but probably fought constantly. You felt he didn't value you enough for who you are, and he was undoubtedly afraid of commitment. He was jealous and possessive of you as well-- AND expected you to tolerate his flirtation with other women. Both of you are confident, have a bit of a temper, and are unwilling to admit when you are wrong. He is so like you in so many ways that you felt a soul connection to him, but the two of you are so different in others (as far as fidelity, loyalty, values) that I feel a long-term relationship is near impossible. He has karmic issues to work out--if he behaved poorly in his last 3 marriages I feel sure that karma is going to teach him a lesson.

    I would strongly suggest trying to move on. It is too bad he does not value right and wrong, and this will cause him to suffer, in love and other areas.

    I see you perhaps with another more stable, loyal Cancer in the next few months. Good luck, and best wishes!

  • Thanks a bunch! You are right about the soul connection and it is so hard to break it. I admitted my wrongs in the relationship but he continued to feel as though he never did anything wrong - cheating wasn't wrong as long as it was with his x wife. i hope that you are correct in the more stable relationship!

  • Efitdk, this relationship could prove a very comfortable fit for its partners, each enjoying different aspects of it for different reasons. Together you will take an orderly, reasoned and structured approach to just about everything. This will satisfy your friend's need for attention to detail and will delight you, who always has to have a system to fall back on. In addition, the relationship grounds and gives form to the more excitable and aspiring aspects of both your characters.

    No matter how romantic a love affair between you may be, it always has a strongly sensible streak running through it that will rarely allow it to be dominated by self-destructive or unrealistic impulses. The romanticism here is elegant, polished and highly nuanced. Perhaps a tad too self-conscious as a pair, you are always aware of your effect on other people. You will work carefully on polishing your style, dress, movement and speech before appearing together in public. As friends, you can make strict demands on each other to keep the relationship on a high plane. Quality rather than quantity is important here. This may make it unnecessary for you to see each other that often: when you do, it really counts. It is quite possible for you two to work on artistic, commercial or playful pursuits together and to achieve results of high quality and interest. ADVICE: Without sacrificing quality, let up a bit in your demands. Be more natural and less self-conscious. Let things happen as they will.

    Efirdk, though less shy or retiring than others on this lifepath, you do have a need to protect yourself that may need to be loosened a bit to allow you the joy of loving and being loved. Your need for approval and acceptance from others might manifest as attention seeking or a need to validate your ideas and methods. You may require constant reassurance from friends and family. You have a high degree of empathy and sensitivity to others. You can rein in the demands of your ego by realising that it only hinders your true creativity. Share your intuitive understanding of ancient philosophies or deeper wisdom and your unique brand of magic and inspiration by reaching out to touch and teach others. "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all." You will learn most of your life lessons from relationships, since in many ways you are quite innocent in the ways of relating. You'll learn by trial and error but you must make sure not to scurry back into isolation or self-protection when hurt. You must explore love in all its many forms - the love of friendship, of master/disciple, of parent/child, of romance and marriage, of devotion to God or work. You will probably meet and part from many soulmates on your journey.

    Your friend must find a way to express his insights and emotions in more effective ways. His search to free his emotions through greater self-expression will figure prominently in his life. He, like you, has a need to protect himself that must be released even though he has been hurt before. He also is here to experience all forms of love and to have many soulmates who will teach him about it, the good and bad. The greatest healing power of all is love, which he might miss out on in his quest for perfection. He would do well to examine his motivations as he seeks to reconcile reality with his ideals of the perfect mate. Indecisiveness can also be a problem. If he can learn to express his needs in ways that are neither too critical nor unduly exacting and realises this his perfectionism is hurting him, he can make wonderful progress and gain ever-increasing confidence through his ability to both give and receive love.

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