I feel like I am at the end of my rope.



  • Hi Barbralee thats wonderful, here is another angelic word for you to use on those days when you need a boost. It is called Tone-a-Tone this word is for new pep and energy. I have to say it alone, if there are children around it will make them hyperactive. I sense that you are feeling the healing love coming to you. You are very special and blessed and I want to see you happy, this will come and when that pink cloud arrives I would like to see you on it with warm fuzzies! Lola to you and yours!



  • Hi, Elizabeth,

    I did have a little sadness yesterday. It was my son Steven's birthday. I am trying to move on in light of the fact that he wants nothing to do with me. But holidays and birthdays tug at my heart. He had such a difficult beginning in life. But, I can no longer let it eat away at me, it does no good.

    Tell me please, how you go about saying your angelic words. Do you have a certain routine?

    Enjoy the day. It is raining here.

    Lola to you and yours!



  • Hi Barbralee, it is calm and clear here in Victoria, my flowers are still alive, it has been a long time since I have had fun in the snow, and I love the rain. I too have a son who does not talk to me, it is my grandsons birthday on the 26th and my sons is on the 29th and I will not get to see them, he has chosen his path and no matter how much I have tried he does not respond. It has taken me years of studying the arts to understand that I cannot control this situation, and no matter how much I suffer over the why's or hows it dousn't seem to make a bit of difference. I finally had to let go for my sanity, there isn't a day that goes by that I wonder what happened, but I realize that since the astrological, numeroligy, and other factors all let me know that we each have our own life to live, this alone has saved me from another 27 years of grief. I was in the realm of family comes first, and I still do believe this, but unfortunatly I was not blessed with this right to be all that I could be for my son, he is not interested at all. Just a little insight into my troubles to let you know that you are not alone. When I use the words I just have faith, and say and it harm none. I ask the powers that be for the highest good to be present and wait for the feeling of calm and reassurance. I say thankyou and feel gratitude. Watch for the signs to appear that they are listening to you, sometimes it may be the words or songs on the radio or on T.V listings, even a book opened up to a random page will give you insight with how they communicate. It is fascinating, you may cry when you see that you are loved and guided by these angels, or higher loving beings, energies, guides. Lola. I always send love to my children and allow the higher beings, or God if you like to lead them to their life lessons. It takes time to be able to do this. I ask for them to be protected and the angelic word for that is O-way-ee, pronounced strong O, wa with a soft a, yee with a strong e. I hope for you an enchantingly loving evening. Elizabeth.



  • Elizabeth,

    I am so sorry to hear of your situation with your son. May I ask how old he is? Mine is 27. I have come to learn through this, that a lot of people are in this same situation with their children. I completely understand how you feel, as I feel the same. I now know that it is out of my hands, and I have to move forward. It was a hard lesson to learn.

    I have found in the past that when I turned over my power to higher powers, angels, people have miraculously appeared to help. I just lost faith in myself for too long a time. I am working my way back, slowly, but surely...one step at a time. I have had songs come on the radio that seemed to be words of inspiration in a time of need, and the same with books.

    I don't know how I lost my way for so long, but I will find my way to where I need to be. I thank you and everyone here for your support and caring worlds. In my sadness, I closed off pretty much everyone in my life. Now doors are opening.

    You said you are from Victoria...in Canada? I skated there when I was in Ice Capades, another lifetime ago. Beautiful city.

    Lola to you.

    Barbara



  • Hi Barbralee, My oldest is turning 27 on the 29th, thank you for sharing, it helps. I used to take figure skating lessons in Ontario when I was a kid, I always pretended that I was in the ice capades when I skated on the pond in our yard. We moved around alot and I was not able to persue this dream, but I can imagine you skating and it is a beautiful vision, thank you! Lola.



  • Believe it or not, Elizabeth, I only skated 6 months before joining Ice Capades. I had an older sister skating in it, and she helped me work on steps that are used in skating. Show skating is more like dancing on ice, people with Gold Medals might not even make it, as it is very different that regular ice skating.

    I think one of the girls I skated with still lives in Ontario.

    It is late, and I can't sleep. I have an interview with my caseworker for unemployment. tomorrow morning. I am hoping that she will help me get into school for training for a job.

    Lola.



  • Hi Barbralee, I hope that your meeting went well. Have you thought about teaching people or coaching skaters, or even starting a new talent contest, judging, getting together with your peers in the skating world and starting a new type of dance/skating school? Even if you don't skate with them you could hire teachers and take a percentage off of the investment. I know that there will be rink fees etc, but if they knew who you are they would enroll the students lickety split! I know at my age that I would have the upmost respect for you talents and would enroll very quickly. Lola! xoxoxoxo



  • Hi again Barbralee, I almost forgot to tell you that I was able to talk to my oldest son yesterday on his birthday and a prayer has at last been answered. Lola



  • Good morning Elizabeth,

    I am so happy for you that you were able to speak with your son. My son also turned 27 on January 17, and I didn't even bother to send him a card. I am not going to try any more, he just gets angry and the wedge draws him further away from me. It is so sad.

    I would probably kill myself if I tried skating after all of these years! I was 19 when I skated in Ice Capades. I am 58 now.

    Nothing came of my meeting with the caseworker. I am seriously thinking of just getting off unemployment, and using my life savings to go back to school. I need to have a job that will pay the bills, and right now I can't find any work that I qualify for. I know that I could apply myself at school and do well. It would give me a reason to get up in the morning.

    Hope your day is a good one.

    Lola!



  • Hi Barbralee, I understand what you mean about your son, I have to just accept the ways of the youth today, very strange, it is as if all I was taught is an illusion in how many kids treat their loved ones today. We will make it through this with grace, I pray, and believe that eventually they will wake up. I am excited for you to go to school, it is so refreshing, and many people to connect with. They will love you, and when I went back here and there it was soothing to not feel like I was spinning my wheels and not going anywhere. I love school and the challenge it offers as well. Lola, and big huggs from all of us little chickens!



  • Hi, Elizabeth,

    It is late, yet I can't sleep. So I went online, and there you were!

    I think what hurts so much about my son's reaction to me, is that all I wanted as a child and young adult, was for my stepfather to love and accept me. Having lived with his unacceptance, and verbal abuse, I vowed never to let that happen with my children. I am not perfect, I have made mistakes, but I always tried to show my love and tell my children I loved them. I guess I made the mistake of putting them before me, because now I find that my youngest doesn't give a darn if I live or die.

    My boyfriend says, maybe we should have been indifferent and abusive, maybe then they would have strived to win our love. I just don't get it.

    But on the brighter side, my oldest son has been supportive and caring. He is a good kid. He will always be a kid to me, even though he is a man. Understand?

    I watched the Grammys tonight with the credit to Michael Jackson. Don't know if you got that there, but I saw the Michael Jackson movie "This Is It', and absolutely loved it. I gained a respect for him that I didn't have beforehand. I intend to buy the DVD and watch it man times. I saw the movie 3 times, and it haunted me for weeks after. The segment they showed tonight, "What About Us', is so touching, haunting.

    Anyway, sleep well tonight, thanks for the caring words...

    Barbara



  • Hi, Barbralee, I can feel what a beautiful whole loving woman that you are, I understand what you mean about your oldest son, my youngest is that way and I think of him as a 16 years old even though he is 23 and a well adjusted mature young man who is sensitive and there for me. I remember watching Micheal Jackson on the T.V. when I was about 9 and thought that he was the cats pajamas. But around the same time my family went to Sarnia Ontario to visit my Aunt Judy, and my cousin Tearza showed me a picture of Donny Osmond and told me that he was her boyfriend, she painted my nails and got me all excited to meet him, then I found out that it was a joke, I had a crush on him for a few years after that and cried because I was so in love with him. This has nothing to do really with Micheal, but at the time we were staying in a hotel and the Jackson 5 came on the tube and all I could think about was Donny, and I cried myself to sleep! This is silly and you may be wondering what the heck I am talking about, well it just brought back memories and I wanted to share. I feel hurt that Micheal was treated the way that he was and I hope that if he is listening that he feels the love from us here. Lola and thanks for sharing.



  • Oh by the way I went to the major bridge in Sarnia overlooking Detroit, because that is where I thought Donny Osmond could see me, and fantasized that I saw Donny looking back at me. Ha, what an imaginative little girl that I was. Anyway, I am so happy to share this with you. Lola, and BIG HUGGS! My sharing dousn't just extent to childhood, it just came out that way. I have lots of Big Girl stories too! Ha. xoxo.


Log in to reply