I feel like I am at the end of my rope.



  • Don't even throw that wrench in there. Don't say another word about bad news because you give it power. Stop now. Your doing fine one step at a time. Peace and harmony



  • Okay. I will try to be very positive. I have been online all morning looking for work. No luck. I am going to spend some time doing tutorials, gonna try to clear some clutter, and hopefully even do some walking.

    Peace and harmony to you as well.



  • Barbralee,

    I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

    Ok. That's all. Better? Of, course not

    No one really without a fault or had a perfect life. Everyone is suffering one way or the other and to a certain degree, that is not the point.

    I met someone recently, who changed my attitude towards the life, not because they are perfect, it was circumstantual.

    I am happy to share things with you about what I learnt. Please try and find out for your self.

    Let's go pass all the difficulties you've encountered in your life that made you feel and act the way you are.

    The very first thing, may I suggest, just take a chair, move it towards the mirror, seat down and start looking at yourself. For as long as it takes.

    Look at your face. Look into your eyes, lips, cheeks, ears, eyebrow. What do you see?

    Whether you like it or not, it is you, my dear, it is lovely you, that you've denied all this years, that you've probably haven't accepted the way you are. What do you feel when you see yourself? How do you feel about yourself? Is this real you, or perhaps someone you don't really want to know? Not sure?

    Can you sense all the sadness in you? Ask your self, is this what you really are, want? Ask your self, where are you going? What are you trying to achieve? It is about you and you only. Can you be honest with yourself? Do not bite yourself, things happend the way they did, but was it what you expected of yourself? Face yourself. Do you remember talking to your own needs?

    You are in pain! Deep misery. Cry if you like, it my make you feel better, have a pity to yourself, look around. Do you think you can carry on like this, or do you think YOU can change, or can you? Do you really want to change, or perhaps you chose to complain?

    Stop thinking about others for a second, stop thinking how terrible things are, chang your mind and tune in with yourself. Do you like to be treated the way you are? Where have you raised yur bar? It's not abot money, or kids. It is aot YOU and YOU only. Re-read your letter.

    I bet you will find all the answeres within you, perhaps not straight away, but the more you get yourself the reality check, the more things will start coming your way.

    You've said you are the florist and have no job? Do you stil want to be a florist, do you or you don't? If you do, YOU and ONLY YOU can change things. Find a day when you are in the right mood, when you are ready an make up a CV, make an appointment and go to see the career advisor. They will help you with your CV and will give you guidance. Perhaps you could find a job in a local shop to start with.

    Have you done ANYTHING with the gift of you life, I mean EVER? What stops you? What makes you think you are weak, cut the crap. What do you have to loose apart from the gift of life in this limted time? Have you tried? Why not? If you do not scrap yourself soon, NO ONE, I mean NO ONE will do it for you! People are busy with themselves, you have in your letter already accepted the shit you are in and step by step start question yourself about not how terrible life is and how on Earth you got there, BUT WHAT CAN I DO? WHAT DO I i and i want from life. Stop biting and hating yourself.

    For some reason I think al the things happend to you because you do not LOVE yourself. It is not your fault and I can see through your story why BUT

    It is never late to change.

    Do not assume it will be easy, but do not give up, hear me? NEVER, NEVER, EVER GIVE UP!

    Re-read your letter. Do you actually see what is wrong with you? Everyone here can, but CAN YOU? The things you wrote are the things YOU WANT TO CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE! We live in material World, JUST DO IT!

    I wish you all the best,my dear, GOD BLESS



  • Barbralee here is something I would like for you to watch. It's a trans channeler. That's what Edgar Cayce was. Her name is April and she channels Veronica and she sometimes has others who come through. She is on You Tube. /www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIVsVc_AjbA



  • Thanks both Lis1 and LibrasLair. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and fighting back with the depression. I appreciate everyone's input.

    I have read Edgar Cayce, and just recently picked up another book on him at a library book sale. I found him to be fascinating. I believe in a lot of different realms.

    Peace and love,



  • Have you read An American Prophet by Sidney Kirkpatrick? Very good book on the back ground and his growing up in Kentucky. I really like the book.



  • Is it about Edward Cayce? I read a book on him years ago. I'm not familiar with the book. I'll look into it. Thanks,

    Barbara



  • Yes it is about Edgar Cayce.



  • Hi LibrasLair,

    I found the book I bought. It is Edgar Cayce on Reincarnation. I will check out the book you recommended. I am going to try to do more reading.

    Thanks again!

    Barbara



  • Barbralee reading helps to peel away the layers so you can open more. Everything in it's own time. We can't rush it even when we try. When your ready it will happen.



  • LibrasLair,

    Would you mind telling me your real name?

    How did you know about the clutter in my life? I am trying so hard to find my way clear, and I know I have to get more than one house in order.

    I want to feel good again. I am doing better, but I have a long way to go. One step at a time, I guess. I really am trying...



  • Hi, I can strongly relate to your story. I've also had nothing but crap and bad luck in my life. I actually started to believe that I was cursed! Some days I also felt like giving up and even tried to end my life on a few occassions, only to realise that that's the cowards way out. The toughest thing is to keep living with the good and the bad. Try and join a group, or even start one of your own with people of similar misfortunes. To talk and support each other really helps. What I also find that helps, is just to write down all my feelings and thoughts - a kind of theraputic self-help.

    You will feel better and it will help you have a bit more zest for life. Some will disagree, but I also use a very mild anti-depressant which helps me. Try a lavender herbal tea if you're not the pill type. It relaxes you. Just one very important thing to remember : DON'T EVER BLAME YOURSELF FOR THINGS THAT HAVE GONE WRONG! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! It took me the best of 30 years to realize this.

    You can also try blogging - the support and COMPANY is unlimited! Remember, you're not alone, there a plenty like you out there, just don't try and go it alone. Good luck and God bless.



  • Barbralee let me just say I have known a good number of Gemini's and everyone I know are collectors. Some carry it to the point that they only have a path to walk from one room to another. Oh some only do it in some areas of their homes or a garage. They have so much that they don't know where to find what they need. Like I said some can keep it to only one room but they aren't real organized with it. My name is Sherrie and I have the same middle name as you.



  • Hi, Witestar! Thank you for the kind words. I have thought of doing a journal. I don't want to be in such a bad place anymore.

    I am thinking of saging my house. I feel negativity in here, and my spirits are always lifted up when I get outside. My girlfriend saged my last house when it wasn't selling, and the very next people in the door bought it, although it took some months because they had a house to sell.

    Thanks again! God bless!



  • Hi, Sherrie! Nice to meet you!

    I just have too much clutter. Not at all like you mentioned, but I want to be organized. My weakness is clothes, almost all of which I have purchased at Catholic Charities for next to nothing. But I want to pare down, I have too much!

    I was wondering, if I gave you my email address, would you want to talk off this site?

    I have got to go for now. I am going to make a clam chowder.

    Barbara



  • Yes Barbra I agree with the sage but do yourself first then your home. Clam chowder sounds wonderful I made some last week when we were staying below freezing myself. I have some New England style in my freezer and I made Mahattan last week. You go girl and a journal is an excellent idea because you can see just how far you have come in a matter of weeks, months and years. Wonderful idea that witestar had. Here is my address sherrieleec48 at that Yhoo place.



  • Hi Barbralee, I just got home and am thinking about you, and am sending you warm fuzzies all day! Lola!



  • Thank you so much luv2laf. Can you tell me your first name?

    I am struggling to do as much as I can for myself to bring me more peace of mind. It helps to have the support of the people here on this site

    Lola!



  • My first name is elizabeth, have a relaxing evening.



  • Hi, Elizabeth.

    I remember now seeing your name. Sorry, I forgot.

    I have spent most of the weekend with my boyfriend and friends of his. Just what I need, a lot of love and affection. Very warm and loving people.


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