Very confused about my life....some insight and guidence please
Since January 2008 my life has been extremely crazy and I am not sure what I have been doing wrong. I have felt so lost and confused by all that has happened and I am not sure how to fix things. My life hasn't been easy from the day I was born but I felt that there was some kind of purpose/reason for having a birth defect, Spina Bifida. Most of my life I have tried my best to cope with whatever has happened and to try keep a positive outlook in life. However, since 2008 it has been exceptionally difficult this time to see the good in my life. It feels like I am cursed and that happiness will never find its way into my life. I would soooooo much appreciate any guidance and advice. My birth date is 01/18/64 and I was born at 7:34pm. Thank you...Eva
I am not a reader but I first wish to welcome and to let you know that I sense your pain. Not sure what happened in 2008, but whatever it was it took you back apace. I believe that those of us who have disabilities have them as a lesson and to make us stronger spiritually. We often don't get that message and feel it's a punishment but nothing could be further from the truth! We can lift ourselves from our confinements and become helpful thriving members of our community just like anyone else! You sound as though you have a caring and spiritual nature. Be patient and others will respond. Things are kinda hectic around here right now with the holidays. BTW some of the readers are from the UK and other countries so it might be helpful to spell out your birth month. Like in the UK their system is day, month, year whereas ours is month, day.year, see the difference? I pray you will find the answers you seek. May the universe shed its light to light your path. Blessed be...
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Sun in Capricorn
She is honest, reserved, circumspect, honorable and strong-willed. Quietly ambitious within the realms of the possible, she likes and takes on responsibility. She can work in the social domain.
a bitter, hostile, disagreeable and mistrustful mind.
Moon in Pisces
Imaginative, sharp insights. She is impressionable, with an abundant imagination.
troubles caused by too much sentimentality, worries, problems, unhealthy imagination, nervousness.
Mercury in Capricorn
Reflective, deep thinker: a fine and vivacious mind. Undertakes lengthy studies or, if circumstances do not allow, will teach herself. A rational person.
rancor, coldness, malice, and often a pessimist.
Venus in Pisces
Very sentimental. She is easily moved. She is melancholic, romantic. When she loves, it is the most generous of loves.
risky and confused loves, insane hopes.
Mars in Aquarius
She uses her aggressiveness in a social battle for freedom, or independence or adventure, but always linked to society. Likes adventure, independence. Disturbances, changes, upsets.
Jupiter in Aries
She is open, loyal, correct and honest. She is ambitious, of good character and likes being amused.
she is often in a bad mood. Irritation, disagreement, rages.
Saturn in Aquarius
Long-term studies and, if family circumstances do not allow this, she will teach herself. She is serious and methodical in work. Likes to visit the elderly and intellectuals, who both enrich her mind.
bad luck, adversity, problems and disappointed hopes.
Uranus in Virgo
Not a strong character. She is unstable but has good intuition. She is sometimes ingenious.
Neptune in Scorpio
Investigation, inquiry, secrets.
Pluto in Virgo
Takes away her shyness.
Sun in VI
Not much social ambition, she wants to work in the medical environment and progress step by step.
Moon in VIII
She has a tendency to bad dreams. Possibly has romantic phantasies. Is interested in the occult.
Mercury in V
Taste for intellectual games, sports that require skill and finesse. She is very curious about everything, even in love. She likes children.
Venus in VII
Marries for love
Mars in VI
She works with great pleasure and flat out but meets with problems at work, where professional rivalry blocks her ideas and enjoyment.
Jupiter in IX
Deeply intelligent, she is tolerant and sincere. Professional success can happen abroad or in connection with foreign countries. Faraway voyages are profitable.
Saturn in VI
She is a worker, very steady in all she does. She likes precision, method. She is serious and likes continuity at work. She can focus on a job in the medical field, where she will probably be successful, as she possesses all the necessary qualities.
Uranus in I
She is above all independent and original. Sometimes blunt and irritable. Never lets herself be influenced. She does not tolerate any sort of setback. She is ready for adventure, even though it's risky.
Neptune in IV
She succeeds thanks to brilliant and unusual ideas. She is very much influenced by her mother.
Ascendant in Leo
Sign of good health, vitality. Certain of success, either in sport, the Arts or something else. Very full emotional life.
House II in Virgo
Will not earn a lot of money through work.
House III in Libra
She looks for refined unproblematic people, with whom to have long discussions, without raised voices of any kind.
House IV in Scorpio
Sheis jealous, snobby, irascible.
House V in Sagittarius
Likes adventure, travel, gambling, takes risks for the pleasure of it, treating it as a game. Lots of love affairs.
House VI in Capricorn
Works hard, unceasingly and patiently. Weak point: the cold, changes in temperature.
House VII in Aquarius
The relationship between man-and-wife will be very friendly and full of understanding. Both will love their independence, their freedom of action. If one refuses to give this to the other while insisting on it for himself, then a divorce will ensue.
House VIII in Pisces
Discussions about an inheritance. Be careful of water.
House IX in Aries
Travel with risk and adventure.
House X in Taurus
Trusted at work. Occupation connected with the earth, buildings, finance etc...
House XI in Gemini
Likes meeting, ceaselessly discussing with well-informed people, full of ideas.
Sun - Mars
She is energetic, determined, courageous, she is full of self-confidence. She likes to dominate, command, direct. She overcomes all difficulties by sheer will-power. She is frank.
Moon - Pluto
She has problems in love. She is jealous, her self-esteem is often quickly held up to ridicule.
Saturn - Ascendant
Her life is difficult and cramped. She is a worker, but success takes time in coming. She has problems in being open. She accepts solitude, rather than looks for it. Family problems.
Mercury - Venus
She looks on the bright side of life: she is gay, agreeable, optimistic, sociable. She likes to speak and write, and does both with charm and artistry. Her intellectual pleasures are influenced by her feelings. She is amorous and sensual. She likes beauty, the Arts but also travelling.
Uranus - Pluto
She fights to improve her daily life, she is persevering.
Moon - Midheaven
She has a sense of family, profound feelings and especially likes children. If there are changes in her professional life, they are for the better.
Mercury - Uranus
She is perspicacious, ingenious: she binds intelligence and originality together with genius. She likes literature, especially fiction. She is spontaneous in her friendships and knows how to take advantage of the situations that arise.
Venus - Uranus
She looks for new sensations in love and is often unsatisfied by affairs which quickly turn into purely conventional relationships.
Moon - Uranus
She has a feverish, non-constructive restlessness. She is too susceptible. While her life is full of change, she is full of hot air. She is eccentric, irritable and stubborn. She has difficulty concentrating on a job. Nervous strain. Her friendships are like her professional and love life - unstable.
Neptune - Midheaven
She lacks assurance, self-confidence. She does not always choose the right path.
Saturn - Neptune
Living conditions are difficult
Uranus - Midheaven
She must have a job that allows her complete freedom, something non-routine. She likes change, has a lot of energy and knows how to influence others in spite of her originality.
Pluto - Midheaven
She uses all her energy to succeed professionally. She has a good sense of organization and authority.
Neptune - Ascendant
She is very easily influenced and fragile. She suffers disappointments.
Venus - Saturn
She has a good grasp of reality and of duty. She is thrifty, reserved and does not show off. She likes truth and justice. In love, her sentiments are sincere and deep, she never plays false. She is, of course, faithful in love and friendship. She can love a much older person and appreciates her intelligence and good sense.
the cycle you are in right now is not one that brings you happiness in terms of career or employment or business. you are somehow protected material wise, maybe due to family support or inheritance. Material situation will keep improving, this is one area where you have the least worry. A new cycle will start soon, give it a year or two. Some of your problems will be solved or help will come by then. This includes relationship, work problem or even money (although it would be the least problematic for you).
I do not see much conflict for you 2008-2010. So this is not necessarily your element, or your doing. It's just the overall cosmic influence and life of the people around you that causes you to feel down. You are entering a cycle of metamorphosis starting late 2007. This is an inner self transformation process which will result in deep wishes come true, whether it is relationship or career oriented, if you do it right. Hidden talents and desire can appear, so you will need to do a lot of inner work in order to achieve the best result.
I am suggesting that you try to be more in tune to the feminine side, which is affection and nurturing. Logic is good and you are blessed with practicality, but when dealing with people, romance or friendship, you will need to balance it with affection and tolerance. The change in you will manifest in your outer appearance and the way you speak. So that you don't look as cold and aloof to others, and you will still be able to be blunt when conveying your message but not sounding too aggressive to others. You don't necessarily mean to sound this way, but this is how you are perceived somehow. It is necessary to tell it as it is, but you can always try to word it carefully. As long as the message is conveyed, you have told the truth, you can see it that way.
You are intelligent , analytical and precise, but tend to focus on the big picture and less on the details. You can be blunt and direct, to some you can appear intimidating and aggressive. You are kindhearted and generous but you appear cold which may discourage others that want to approach you. You are a worker and studious. One can never ignore your sense of responsibility and interest in studies and research. You are confident, but not expansive. In many things, you go with slow and steady, rather than quick and assertive. This includes work and relationship. In love, you use more logic than emotions.
The birth chart is based on planetary position the day you were born. Some things may not ring true since you are now over 40 yo, life experiences might have affected you profoundly. If you find what rings true and needs working on, by all means do so. As I said the period of transformation for you started in late 2007, you are undergoing inner self change and as such are prone to restlessness and mood fluctuations. To some people this may even result in nightmares they never had before. It manifests differently to each person. Let me know if you need information on how to start the inner work. This is a slow transformation period, so no rush just keep trying.
hi leoscorpio if it's possible could you do a chart for me. my birthday is 7/31/72 . i was born at 6:01p.m
I am so glad you received the answers you needed! Leoscorpion is wonderful about that! As you can see, you are not cursed, It is a matter of what I call down time for you. Things will pick up. Just be patient a while longer, dear. Maybe focusing on something else for a time might help, like taking a class on something you really like? Write a book? Knit, sew or crochet? Do some charitable work? Anything positive until things start to turn around. Blessed Be...
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Thank you very much! I appreciate you helping me and yes I wouldn't mind any other suggestions that you have to offer. I read through the information and I would say much of what is there does ring true. I can be stubborn or what I consider to be determined, self-reliant, constantly trying to prove myself to others. Friends, friends and my faith mean a great deal to me. In addition to being loyal to others, I do want to be successful in life but it does not mean that money is my main drive or focus. However I do want to be financially secure, not only to provide for myself but I want to be in a position in which to help family, friends and other "underdogs" like myself. As for 2008/09, the situations that I found myself in were related to family and my former fiance, Laszlo, who turned out to be a very an excellent liar and excels at deception. I never saw his true nature, which really left me wondering why I was so stupid? I considered myself to be fairly smart about life, so how did I miss all the deception? While I was coping with the situation, I broke my leg in November 2008 but it did not heal until August of 2009, It took 6 surgeries and finding a new doctor to replace the doctor who kept making it my fault that I wasn't healing. It was coping with all of Laszlo's lies during this time period, which also lead me to believe that it had been my fault that I wasn't healing because of the emotion turmoil I was dealing with. Thankfully I decided to get a 2nd opinion which lead to my leg healing over the summer. Now I am trying to move forward in life once again but I am a battered by all that has happened. Still trying to understand what it is that I am to gain from what has happened because I think that I am still am a caring person. Actually there is a part of me that wishes that I could just have hatred for what Laszlo did to me but the crazy thing is, I don't. I am shocked and hurt by it but also know that it was good that we are not married. I know that there is something very wrong with him as a person and he is to pitied.
As for being feminine through nuturing and affection, I do think that I am those things. In my family whenever there is a problem, I am the first one called generally. While I do not have children of my own, I have helped to take care of my siblings children and continue to help with great nieces and nephews still today. I have volunteered in the community and overall I try to be a decent, honest, caring human being. I do believe that we are here to help and serve one another.
The problem for me is that I feel like I have given too much and am not wondering what have I done wrong? People talk about karma and how it comes back to you....good for good and bad for bad. Although I don't see myself as a bad person. My father rejected me when I was born but yet I never hated him. I forgave him a long time ago and now that he is 82, he seeks out me and my siblings. He has lots of issues now that he is old and I wish I were in a position to help him more. My older siblings do resent him but I told them just because he failed us doesn't mean we need to do the same. We are human and we fail many things and/or people in our lives, so when do we stop trying to hurt each other? I don't need great wealth. many homes or tons of friends. In life all I want is to be mostly happy, in a loving relationship, with some financial security, which will allow me to help others. So what should I be doing? I do think that I do self analyze myself but still don't seem to be making progress in life. As for nightmares, I don't even remember my dreams at all. It is very rare if I do. Thank you
Sorry but I don't understand the things like house in Aries and moon in Pisces? I kind of thought the moon in Pisces is the same as 3rd house in Pisces. I don't understand the difference. Do these things change all the time? Does it mean where my life is currently?
Thank you but life is sure is a struggle of late and I do try to keep the faith normally. Oh, patience has never been one of my strong points I think. Although others seem to think it is and I do have some hobbies that I enjoy such as knitting, reading, sewing, photography and scrapbooking. Sometimes just too many family things going on though to spend much time enjoying my hobbies. Leoscorpion sure has been a blessing for me and there is some truth about the things he has told me. Now I hope to continue to move to the right path in life with Leoscorpion's advice about changing things for myself.
Thank you for you support and kind words. Many blessing to you also as we begin a new year.
"I never saw his true nature, which really left me wondering why I was so stupid? It was coping with all of Laszlo's lies during this time period, which also lead me to believe that it had been my fault that I wasn't healing because of the emotion turmoil I was dealing with. The problem for me is that I feel like I have given too much and am not wondering what have I done wrong? People talk about karma and how it comes back to you....good for good and bad for bad. Although I don't see myself as a bad person"
While it is true that what we send out will return to us, if we send out negative we get back negative, if we send out positive, we get back positive. This doesn't mean every single bad thing that happens to us is because we are to blame. The universe sends us life challenges now and then. Not to punish us for what we do wrong, but to teach us. Do not go into self defeating mode, not all of these are your faults. As long as you try to stay positive and do positive things, you will not be inviting anything negative into your life. If anything bad happens, it is life challenges and you just need to deal with it with positivity.
There is no single person, always right, always lucky, always happy. We are all equal to the universe, and so all of us will have to deal with life challenges. What matters is how we deal with these. You have been forgiving and nurturing. But do you forgive and nurture yourself? This is what the universe is asking you. There is no such a thing as stupid. There is only learning curve. You missed Laszlo deception, because you were in love, much more than you ever loved before. In the midst of loving someone too much, you forgot to love yourself. The universe wants you to turn inward, to yourself and your own needs. You keep wondering if it is your fault. The universe is telling you, no. You forgive others, you nurture others. It is time now that you do the same to yourself. Forgive yourself for not seeing his deception. Forgive yourself for not seeing that inner work can help heal your physical problem. The past belongs to the past. Love yourself, just as much as you love Laszlo. We are equal to the universe. You deserve love, as much as others do. Even if nobody else loves you, you should never forget to love yourself.
Open the doors to the past. Learn from the events, but don't dwell in it. Close the doors and make amends when necessary or possible. There is no single person, always right. Start a new life. To start a new is to start clean. In everything, start with yourself. The inner work you will change you within, reflecting in the change of how you deal with others and therefore resulting in change in others dealings with you, maybe even inspire them to change within themselves.
Below is a copy and paste of the tips I gave to others on how to start inner work. It's long so maybe you want to print it instead and read it when you are ready. Patience is good to have. Start with yourself, be patient with your flaws and imperfection, only then you can be patient with others. Any kind of healing activity starts with cleansing. Without cleansing the wound, you can not heal.
You can try it for 2 months. then see for yourself.
first. clean your environment
use sage incense, lit one or two every day. take it to each room in your house, try to go around each room corner to corner. after all rooms are done, leave it by the door (one at front one at back) or you can leave one at any room you feel like it (not necessary but you can).
second, clean your self from lingering negative energy. use the gems It's quartz crystal, clear. Not pink or any color. Clean them every day, with salt under running water. then let them air dry. when they are dry, blow your breath onto each corner of the gems. this way gems will work for you. when you blow your breath, pour your lingering sadness/worry/despair/anger onto the gems. Energize the gem as often as you can. find a place where the sun light can reach it and leave it there for two hours at least. The sun, like fire, is a great transformer.
third protect yourself at all times. visualize white/blue light around you, hold on to this visualization when communicating with people, whether by phone, email or in person. the light will return negative energy back to sender and allow positive in. this way no more negative energy can attack you, and gives you time to work on the gems to neutralize negative energy that has been lingering around you for some time. don't share your gem with others, keep it safe. don't even let them touch it. the gem will absorb negativity you pour onto it and transform it, if the other person touch it when it is working, they will be hurt.
Four, understand the concept of energy. we all live under the same universal law. what we send out will be returned to us. we all make mistakes. what you have to do is look back to the past, make assessment about yourself, be honest about the rights or wrongs you have done to anybody including yourself. learn from them and close the door to the past. make amends when necessary or possible. we all have been wrong before and to certain point, have sent out negativities towards someone no matter how small we thought it was. the more negativities we send out the more we get them back. so we suffer from our own negativities and negativities that others send us (which the universe will send back to them, but nonetheless they do hurt us). some energy can linger for years, depends on the intensity and the frequency it is sent. start to live your life in positivity from now on. refrain from dwelling in the past, anger, sadness, jealousy, wishing bad things happen to someone, despair, regret, revenge etc. revenge belongs to the universe. you don't have to pretend or fake a smile when someone wrongs you, lies, pretentious, denials are negativity. you can however, say, 'I am human being. you don't need to do this to me' or ignore them and move on. let the universe do what it always does.
Do the sage cleansing, gem cleansing and energizing, visualization, and keeping positive thoughts/words/actions - every day. Within 2 months or even lesser, you will see improvement. By then you can decide which routine you want to keep doing and which one to stop. I would suggest don't stop any, but that is your choice. Also, don't forget to live your life in balance. nurture your physical and psyche. with the physical, you know you can go with balanced diet and routine exercise. do the same with the psyche. the psyche is link to the universe guidance, don't ignore it. you can find free yoga./meditation videos online. or go with your beliefs. read spiritual books that interest you, they are chicken soups for the soul.
To calm you down, get Bach Flower Rescue remedy. any homeopathy store has it. you can also calm yourself down by saying This Too shall pass, repeatedly until you regain comfort. this also works when you start feeling down and negative energy tries to drain you or someone's action makes you want to send negativity towards them.
Use affirmations, say it any time you want, out loud or in mind. Something like "I am positive. I will stay positive. I am protected. The universe will provide me all the help I need" or make your own. This is called reprogramming you, pretty much taking you to calm state and help you focus on the work you are doing. Don't fret if you feel down or fail, stand back up and try again.
Any question, just shoot.
You asked if you were cursed. Curse is negative energy, someone might have sent you. Doesn't mean all the bad things happen to you is result of curse, as I said they are also life challenges. Many of us do not understand how negativity can hurt. They might have sent you negativity, wishing you bad luck/ bad life, sending you anger and all kinds of negative thoughts. Therefore cleansing and protecting yourself of negativities at all times are very important.
"Mars in pisces, house is Aries"
this is the positions when you were born. House do not change positions. Planets do.
House is house I - XII. Planets are Mars, venus, saturn etc. The twelve zodiac signs are constelations, not planets. I hope this clears up a bit. As you see now Saturn is in Libra. So planets do change positions.
But the birth chart will only record these positions the day you were born, which describes your general personality, not necessarily reflecting life experiences that happened after you were born. How do you deal with life challenges, will bring you to where you are now. Planetary positions, that change over the years or even days, only throws cosmic influences that can affect others in a major or minor way depending on the planet position on each person's birth chart.
There is a lot about astrology you can learn, in fact you may find it quite interesting to do research for. You are studious, so go ahead if you want to learn something new. There is nothing wrong with that and it may even prove beneficial for you somehow.
Take care now and happy new year (belated). I am female, by the way but Leo is a masculine sign and I do have quite a few masculine signs in my chart, so yeah if you mistake me as a male, I can't blame you. It's in the way I bring myself I suppose.
will do your chart next week
need birth location, be specific city and state
My good friends Lescorpion and Scribe are taking great care of you and you will find all the heat of the sun in their geat advice. If you give me your bith-PLACE however, I will work out which planets / why you have suffered such an undeserved cosmic battring just lately. Love and hugs.
she was born in Findlay, Ohio, USA
it's on another thread
thanks hipriestess for pouring more help
Thank so very much for the advice and for devoting so much of you time to me. I will definitely do those things. I will let you know how things are going and you are right about not taking care of myself enough.
Sorry about that....(blushing) I did think you were male. Thank you and Happy New Year to you also. I am trying to focus on 2010 being a much better year.
Thank you so much for your kind of help. I would appreciate any insight you can offer. It has been rough since 2008 with the lies, betrayal, family stress, job loss, broken leg, surgeries and hit and skip of my vehicle. It was just a lot to cope with in a year. So when 2009 came around I thought it was all behind me but it wasn't. So now I am trying to focus on 2010 as being a turning point in my life. Thanks again and hugs to you too...