Can someone please help me?

  • I've just ended a 13 year relationship (married for 5) and I'm so very confused. For the last year or so I was very unhappy in the relationship but I wasn't sure why. He is not a bad guy (or I wouldn't have been with him so long), we had ups and downs like everyone does. When I did leave it felt right, like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. We tried to get back together and work things out but it only lasted a little over a week. I fell right back into the unhappy feeling, like I had made a mistake. I'm trying to go with my heart but it's been rough. Can anyone offer some insight? My birthday is 1/05/70

  • Dear Sunshine 752,

    Welcome! May the light of the Universe light your path and may you soon know inner peace. Don't worry, someone will help you but please be patient. It's a little carzy right now with all the holiday stuff going on. Some of the readers are from other countries so it might be helpful to list the actual month in words like Jan. 05, 07, or 05. Jan. 07. Their system goes by day month year instead month day year likeours. You might want to list city and state where you were born and time of birth. More importantly give people a little time to get with you though as , like I said, people are pretty busy right now.

    Sounds like yu are in an entanglement right now, rather than a true relationship. Take some time out and try to look at the situation objectively if you can. It is interesting that you feel a heavy weight lifted when you left..."felt right". Follow your instincts, it could well be your own innate psychic abilities kicking in.

    I wish you well! Be patient and blessed be...


  • Thank you, Scribe1, for responding so quickly.

    My date of birth is Jan. 05, 1970. City: Kingston, State: PA. I do not know the exact time of birth but do know it was early evening, maybe 4 or 5pm.

    Patience is about all I have right now!

    It does "feel right" but right now I'm feeling that in order for all to be happy I need to be unhappy and just accept the situation. It's all very confusing and it doesn't help that this it the first holiday season that I'm not with him.

    I will check back later or tomorrow morning to see what others think.

    Have a wonderful day !


  • Hi sunshine752,

    Just be patient, and welcome to the forum. Someone will pick you up soon, like Scribe1 said, holidays are hectic right now. This is a great place to come, I am new here too, everyone I have talked to is so nice........ This is my new hangout because I love the warm feelings I generally get in here.

    I think you should follow your instincts in your situation. Sometimes, we let wishful thinking and our own stubbornness get in the way when it comes to making life decisions. We know we should do A, but we want to do C, and it isn't where we ought to be at that time. Listen to Scribe1, she gave you some great advice.

    Once again, welcome, I will probably bump into you again in here (we can't miss each other, lol)

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


  • Thank you, Tamlyn! I already feel better knowing I can log on and read such encouraging and kind words. I think I just might make it through this 🙂

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well!


  • cancer67- Hi merry xmas from New Zealand sorry to hear of your separation.I left my marriage to because i was not happy.Glad to say would not change my decision for anything.Long story short time does heal wounds and makes you a stronger better person.Is the season to be jolly so why not get a makeover get out there with a friend or family member an socialize (not jump in to bed with a stranger) or ? single means to mingle leave your sorrows at the door when you shut behind you.

  • Hahahahaha! Good Morning to All!

    I just look over my posting and saw tha I had inverted the numbers on your birthyear and made you MUCH older than you actually are! I do that sometimes (number inversion) and I don't know why. So sorry about that. I see people are starting to respond. This is great! Be patient some more, a reader is bound to connect with you. Things probably won't settle down until after the new year, so, I know its hard, but please continue to be patient. We are here for you, so no more tears, my dear. The love of the universe is immeasureable and the universe knows you as it knows all. May this year reign many blessings upon you and bring the happiness you so richly deserve! Blessed be.......


  • hi, I feel that there will be alot of ups and downs ahead for you as you will ask yourself did you do the right thing? I feel that yes is the answer for you although met with some sadness. Hold your head up high you are not wrong.I feel you need to be looking after yourself a bit more. go ahead and pamper yourself, get yourself something nice to brighted your day. Have a relaxing bath or buy that perfume you like. Do something just for you. I sense you need to branch out more. Take up an interest, maybe something creative, something you like to do but have not been able to for a while. Get out and met people you will begin to feel better about yourself and this broken relationship come half - way through next year, but I feel you will still keep in touch with each other. work it along one step at a time. There is someone with dark brown hair around that will help you.

  • Sunshine752 sometimes you just out grow each other and no matter how many times you try to get back together the time has passed. Who is everyone that you think will be happy if your not? Are you talking about children? His family and or friends? Only you know how you feel and if your content with your decision then that is what counts. He is left and he is very upset, had the shoe been on the other foot he would be feel good about his decision. Don't worry about what others think because they aren't walking in your shoes. You will probably need to find new friends for the others will be comforting him. This shouldn't be hard for you because your in a different place now. Don't question why you made your decision start planning your future and what you want from it. In time you will settle in and be glad you are able to make needed changes that are healthier for you. It is a tough time of the year for some when this happens and for others it's done in time to start the new year. Peace and Harmony. Caps are good at taking care of themselves.

  • Hello all, again, what wonderful words of encouragement from everyone!

    Taurusapart- Believe me when I say a relationship or fling is not in my future! I do plan on going out for my 40th birthday w/ a good friend. I feel a little better everyday. Merry Christmas to you too!

    Scribe1- You have no idea how much your words mean to mean. It's like you know just what to say and how to say. I feel so very blessed to have "met" you, words cannot tell you how thankful I am. 🙂

    Ravenmoonstone- I am going to take your advise and try something new, maybe meet new friends. I've been in relationships for so long, (my 1st husband from the age of 16 to 24) and now this long relationship, that I'm not sure who I really am or what it is that I want to do. I feel it is the right decision I made and yes, sadness will happen, as does with any ending, but I feel strong that I can make it through! I'll be looking out for the person w/ dark brown hair too! Happy New Year to you!

    LibrasLair- I do fell I outgrew the relationship over a year ago. Something changed in me, can't quite put a finger on what, but it did happen. I think I'm saying I'll give it another try just to make him happy, knowing it won't bring me happiness. I am listening to my heart and know I will make the right decisions for me. I'm starting to get a bit excited knowing that I'm taking a new path and will be a stronger, more Independent women for it.

    Thank you all for listening and responding back, I feel I found some new friends already! May all of you have a happy, healthy, and joyous new year!!!!

  • Dear Sunshine 752,

    I am so glad you got the help you desired! Thank you for the kind words, you are so sweet! Have yourself a most joyful and blessed New Year and may the blessings of the universe reign upon you in the coming 2010! Blessed be...


  • Sunshine752 "I think I'm saying I'll give it another try just to make him happy, knowing it won't bring me happiness"

    Such selflessness shows you have loving heart. However, it wouldn't really be making him happy because you wouldn't really be loving him and sharing a life together - more just going through the motions. In the long run, you do yourself and him a greater service by ending the relationship. It free's you both to live your life and him to find love elsewhere when he has done grieving. You too, should you choose to do so.

    Bright blessings and a golden future for you both.

  • Good Morning witchone, I did meet him at an area park and honestly spoke to him from my heart, telling him I needed to be true to myself and that it wouldn't be fair to either if I did just "go through the motions". He's hurt of course and I told him that each day will get a little brighter, a bit easier. I think what's hurting him most is that more times than not in a situation like this there's usually another person involved and in this case there is not. Turning 40 in just a few days and I need to find out who I am, not jump into another relationship. I am quite content being on my own!

    Everyone have a most wonderful Monday!

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