Can anyone tell me why this happened?
as you can imagine, I left out hunks of my story, because if I didn't, it would be a novel.
HI Goldenhill!! Nice to see you on here.
Wow, it's like you just described me in a nutshell, but I have many doubts. I am in the middle right now, trying to figure myself out. Even as a small child, I would have problems sleeping because I couldn't "shut my brain" off. I remember, every night I would just pray for sleep. Knew eventually, that it would come, I just had to be patient. And eventually, I would wake in the morning. Now, being an adult, with new worries, it is that much more difficult.
I was deathly afraid of quiet...and the dark. If I am alone, and something happens and the lights go out, I panic. You can hear how fast my heart beats. I am STILL afraid of being alone in the dark. But when I am with someone, I am fine. Strange. But it is a fear that I have never overcome, as I sleep with the TV on....even as a teenager, my parents for years would sneak in and turn it off. No matter how deep in a sleep I was, I would instantly wake up and turn it back on..lol. They eventually gave up.
Again, thanks for your response, its very nice to hear from you, goldenhill, keep in touch! And yeah, I, Too, spent hours on those sites as well. It wasn't until those sites that I had even considered this of myself. Although I am still unsure, I will be reading more and trying to absorb as much as I can to see how much I relate. That one actually scared me, it was so accurate. =S
Right now I am looking for some rainbow obsidian and I will see how that effects me.
...I guess I should mention that my parents decided to get back together when I was 16....things were good for awhile, they are still together. Not healthy relationship, in the least. My mother has many health problems..on top of that broke her wrist...had four surgeries to fix that....still not fixed. During that time, she fell and broke her hip. She also has osteoporosis.....and ever once in awhile I get a shooting pain in my hip. I think it's because I many be developing it...or something too, as I inherited my mothers side......We have the same figure. Now maybe it's sympathy?...I don't know, either way, I take calcium now,..lol
...anyways, she is nothing but a depressed mess, been like that for well over 5 years now. No interest in anything, she won't even clean her house. Cook..nothing. Dad does it all, bill, shopping..all of it.
My mother was a registered nurse for 35 years.
get this......I just had this conversation with a friend. I won't post all cause it's private......but this is what happens.
It started with him sending me links to some new music from a band we like. He never said a word, just posted the link.....
its their new album
im loving it
yeah, but you seem off...lol
the last link was a song about heroin
dont worry about me
i will work my shit out, ur right, i dont know how u can tell
im always gonna be fine
cause, I just can
yeah, you will. But you can't ignore it either
i had a terrible christmas
The rest is private, but that is how I sense things....when he said, "I don't know how you always know".....well...neither do I!!!"
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I wish you a great new year too! New years is my birthday as well!...32.....ouch..lol
Well, my mother did get burnt out, but she has had some pretty intense problems all her life. "the feel sorry for me" ways of thinking. I will say this though, she was a wonderful nurse. It was pretty much all she knew....but in the last few years, she hated it. She is very much and emotional vampire.
I wasn't so lucky in not trying drugs, I never tried heroin though. I could give you a list, but it's not necessary. lol
No, I've never considered being a writer, i don't think I could write fiction.....I can though, easily open my thoughts and emotions and write them, using examples. Some people are blown away in how well I can express my emotions and detailed my thoughts are. Seemingly my two exes...lol
I will add you to msn, Thanks again, goldenhill.
32, OMG, you are still soo young,
hope your Birthday is nice and we will stay in touch
Sorry not to have responded sooner, I haven't forgotten about you guys, but this was my holiday to be on call at the hospital.
I was directed to that website by another empath, and I, too have found it to have tons of great info and a very warm, respectful group of individuals that support each other in the forums.
I scored high as a healer empath, not surprisingly since I am in the healthcare field and is one of the reasons I went down this career path. Would also explain why I would feel so drained after a day's work. I have since learned how to shield myself, but sometimes some children hit home really hard.
Hope you all had a great Xmas, will post tomorrow. See you then.
Goldenhill, sorry I forgot. Here is the pendant I just bought...it will send you to the site as well.
I will help you in your search of a black one....are you looking just for a stone? Charm?
I am still looking for more, always open to new ideas.
That is a nice one, actually thinking of getting it for myself. The price is right!! lol
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Well, can't get that black one....states only. =(
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1 Blondie178 , the rainbow obsidian sure is a nice pendant!
I like that black circular one too! Thanks for websites andfor helping me find the black. ...
Hi,thank-you for sharing a part of your life with us,it is a very brave thing to do.
i cryed,but it's o.k.,it happenes to me all the time. i feel others pain.
it really does sound like you are going down the right path,just keep working hard at staying on it.
I never really was a drinker,i grew up with it and i still remember the day that i made a promise to myself that i would never turn out like my mom.and so the couple of times that i let friends talk me into drinking with them,well the memories of my childhood came flooding back and i said to myself ,oh H-E-L-L no i will not repeat this again.and have not.
I use to smoke cig.'s,but when someone pointed out to me one day that it sounded like i had copd,well again all i could think about was my mom and this time my granny too,(lost gram to that when i was 18),so 5 1/2 yrs.ago i quit cold turkey and never went back. this new year marks one yr.ago that i lost my mom to,copd,lung cancer,heart dis.and alcohol.I miss her,never got to say good-bye but i know that she is o.k. now.
I did have my poison, POT. used it on and off through out my teens,got very heavy on it as a young adult,quit for a many years,never smoked it at all in my 20's and then low and behold like a fool,once again let friends infulence me and started smoking it again in my mid 30's.well i have since woke myself up again and will not be touching that again either.
and its funny i never did it because i was depressed or mad or anything like that,no i did it because i liked it.
But then when i started again the last time was because i had suffered a very bad right wrist injury at work. and i refuse to take pain pills,i always refuse them,do not like what they do to me because i can not control it .well i was suffering with alot of really bad pain and could not even move my wrist and then a friend said you know i have something that will take the pain away or at least the edge off so you can try to regain some mobility with your wrist,the wonder drug?
well i did smoke it when i was younger,but that was for fun,but i wondered if it was really a bad drug,so i got online and stared doing reserch and found out that it is an herb,and that no doctor had anything bad to say about it and they even give it to cancer paitinces. so i thought wow thats the answer,so i started smoking again,my pain would go away,i regained movement in my wrist.but everything will come to an end sooner or later.
I could not be who i really am or devlopemygifts to the fullest if i was always "HI",so i quit and a whole new beautiful world opened up for me.even though they says its just an herb,it was blocking me for a very long time,because i let it control me.
please never loss faith in your self,your stronger than you think,just keep digging deeper and developing more of your gift.well it is 3:16 a.m.,i have trouble sleeping too,:-) but this is usally the time i try to force myself to sleep.so i'm gonna post a couple more notes and try to get some shut eye. take care and keep smiling!
love & light
just wanted to say hi,hope you had a nice holiday.
hi,yes and thank-you for asking, my x-mas was relaxing,had a very nice dinner with some old friends and did some much needed catching up. i hope you had a nice one too.
that web site is really nice,i'm doing the empath survival program now and it is so much fun learning all this new stuff that has been very helpful.i cant wait to get to the part were it will help me sleep better,lol.
I think that it is great that so many of us have taking the which empath are you test. i wish that there was a way to start a thread with the link in it so others could do it too.
talk to you soon,now i really am going to try to get some shut eye. nighty-night
love & light
Hi, nice to meet you,thank-you for joining the thread.
peace,blessings,love & light
I decided to take the test as well and it explains my need to have learnt reiki a few years ago
You Scored as Healer Empath
As a Healer Empath, you possess the gift of healing and the ability to transmute pain into light. Visit us at EmpathCommunity.ning.com
Thanks Wenchie for the link