Attraction - different types?

  • After comparing astrological compatibilities, I find it interesting to note how many people felt a strong attraction that they thought was love/lust when really the relationship was meant to be just a friendship or a working relationship. Often we look back on a former romantic relationship with 20/20 hindsight and think "Wow, that would have been much better iif we'd just stayed as friends."

    I wonder why we mistake our urge to be with someone as love? Is it because we feel so strongly that we mistake it for something that should be less intimate? Are there different degrees or levels of attraction that we should try and notice in ourselves when we are drawn to someone? Is there a difference between the Friendship Attraction vibe and the Love vibe? I'm thinking it would be very useful to know the difference - save a lot of heartache. I know we are drawn to certain people in order to learn things but it might be better if we could figure out beforehand how far to take the relationship. Maybe there are some obvious clues that we miss.

    Are we just too impulsive about jumping into a relationship and not spending enough time examining our feelings about the person before we connect with them? Is it simply a case of heart before head?

  • Captain you are correct on all that you are saying. I think sometimes we mistake friendship for love because that is what many of us are desiring so much. To be paired up and with friends its comfortable. I know I get lonely sometimes being single and it makes it tempting to go for someone that I usually wouldnt but after too many love mistakes I am making myself hold out for romantic love this time not false love and I think many times we do know the difference deep dow, Its just hard to let go once you become attached to someone or an idea of what being with person would be like. You gave me a compatibility reading on someone who I love deeply and said we had a lovers union but not necessarily as husband and wife. I think I am okay with that as of now I have no desire to marry. The guy isnt even with me right now but I was trying to understand why I am so drawn to him. Maybe people are just curious as to what it would be like with a certain someone and need your help to clarify. Well keep up the good work. I am sure good things will come back to you for sharing so generously of your time and energy. ( :

  • not sure if I can describe it better than my own story

    so here it goes for me personally:

    Lust is the easiest one

    I'd say, any good looking (and willing) man, will do. No feelings, no strings. In fact I'd rather not see them again. and it will stay that way.

    Male friends

    I don't have many, females and males. But more males than females.

    I avoid sleeping with them. I don't want to make my friends feel I befriend them so I can bed them. That is manipulative and cruel. Maybe they don't mind it, but I do.

    After all, if it's only to bed them, they don't have to be my friends.

    They just have to be good looking and willing.

    I treat everyone the same, no gender division. They break my trust, I will break theirs.

    They are loyal, I will be loyal. They sleep with my man, I will sleep with theirs.

    For this reason, I will do all I can not to hurt my friends. So that they don't hurt me back.

    Many of my males friends are other women's husband, dates, fiancee

    and I never ever sleep with them although some have offered to go further

    in fact once I and a female friend had a crush on one man and I gave it up for her

    When he refused her, she was mad at me. I still didn't pursue him. then we became friends again.


    I didn't know what love is before I met my husband, but now I do

    If I compare him to those for lust, he doesn't have the looks

    If I compare him to my male friends, he is more than a friend, he is my best friend

    If there is anyone I will trust with my life, he is the one

    he can ask me to do anything for his sake and I will do it

    There was once I suspect he was having an affair

    I was angry and was going to start an affair to avenge him, but I couldn't do it.

    I left home, devastated. Ran back, left again and so forth.

    I can't seem to hurt him, no matter how much I am angry.

    I will, however, hurt the woman (I thought) he has an affair with. I will scar her beyond belief.

    Surgery might restore her (or not) but unless she kills me, she is not safe.

    I found out my hubby didn't have an affair. he didn't want to, because he knew it would hurt me and he knew what I would do to the woman LOL yeah some decisions do save lives 🙂

    I read somewhere that leo and scorp is masculine sign. being leo sun and scorp rising I might carry more masculine trait than other leos. no idea, maybe it has something to do with my views about the 3 relationships.

  • nope wrong there

    scorp is feminine

    in my birth chart I just count 70% are masculines though

    no wonder I hate my period LOL joking

  • leoscorp, its the scorpio in ya that makes you seek revenge and are enraged at the idea of another woman with your man. lol Not to mention your lion pride cant handle the bruises on your pride. Sheesh woman I wont EVER try to rub you the wrong way. ( :

  • LOL loving

    I just reciprocate - honest!

    I won't hurt my friends so that they don't hurt me

  • You are funny!

  • I think it's very difficult to know immediately after you meet someone why exactly you are attracted to them (assuming you feel something more then physical attraction). Sometimes when you develop a friendship, and when the attraction factor is present, you are overwhelmed with emotions and don't really know which way to go. It's hard to know whether it's meant to be just a friendship or could it be love and more, so you just try. At the end it's better to "give it a go then never know" as a commercial on telly says 🙂 When it doesn't work out you move on. But all in all these experiences make us more aware of what we want , who we want to be with and most importantly who we are.

    I sometimes look back on my first significant relationship which lasted 8 years and i wonder what on earth was i doing with this person and why did i stay with him for so long as we had next to nothing in common. It was a tough lesson but now at least know what exactly i didn't like from that relationship not only in his behavior but in mine too so i would try and avoid it in future.

    I guess not many of us are born with the natural ability to easily recognize what our instincts tell us about others. Especially if there is a mixture of feelings involved there like said attraction and/or feeling of closeness. I think sometimes yes we are impulsive but sometimes we are just confused about our own emotions which stems from not knowing oneself well enough which in my opinion comes from lack of experience with others and with yourself.

    lol i got very philosophical here but it's what i think the problem is with the mistakes we make when judging the nature of our relationships.

  • It's one of the hardest decisions you have to make, I think. Do you take a great friendship to the next level - maybe making an even better love match or maybe ruining the friendship entirely? Sometimes it's hard to know if you would be good together romantically without actually doing it. (But I guess that's where astrology and tarot etc. helps.) I do often get the impression though that, despite any sort of advice against it, people will still get together, even if only to learn the lesson of what they DON'T need/want.

  • I think there is another aspect of feelings and emotions involved in the whole process like hope, desire, delusion, denial, doubt, fear and so on...that make us decide to get into a "wrong" relationship. But yes i believe it all comes down to life experience at the end you learn through doing things especially by making mistakes. It's difficult to accept someone else's advice as the ultimate truth about your destiny, it actually might act as a catalyst to fight to prove them wrong...We are complicated beings 🙂

  • I believe best friends can be long lasting marriage

    never happens to me, but with my hubby we do not start as best friends

    he becomes my best friends after all the years of marriage

    I fell for him the very first time we chat, it doesn't matter to me whether he is my friend or not, whether he is good looking or not

    I never have male best friends, even though I have more male friends than females

    but then again, I haven't met all the male population on earth

    being a leo, it took me a while to understand why things don't go the way I want it

    but now I know, that some things only happen if they are fated and some only happens if we work on them

    so I decided that in everything I will just do my best and let go of expectation

    kind of annoying at first, letting the universe take control

    but then again, it's been doing that forever, so why should I go against it now?

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