Why is he being so stubborn????



  • I have been hanging out with my friend who is a cnacer i am a capricorn woman. He is employed part time by me as my nanny of my 2 boys. I had no intentions of falling for him but as he put it he snuck in through the back door. He is teaching me to Kite and this has brought back a passion that I have not felt since my husband died. We have never been truly intimate but have had some makeout sessions. We even went on a trip to kite and stil he pushes me away. Sometimes i feel he just wants me for what i can provide financially. Am I wrong or does he truly have feelings and still is confused by past relationships?



  • uuilee. please do not trust this guy . I would like you to read my post " Have I lost my cancer b/f for good ?" , there is some very usefull information on there regarding cancer's . I would appreciate a comment . I have finished with mine and I feel a lot happier for it even though I love him very much .



  • Hi Lindieloo

    Wow you have definately been through a longer relationship with your cancer. i have found the peace in my heart that it was not him taking advantage but of my ownself giving and having expectations of a situation that never was. We are still friends and he is very attached to my children as my boys are attached to him and this needs to be about them, not me.. It was just different for me since I was not "looking" I am still greiving over my loss of my soul mate and best friend from the death of my husband, whom died when my youngest son was 8 weeks old. So as you see i have been blessed with this love and have never wanted any different..... Until i met my cancer friend who has given me a part of my soul back and I put the emotions into a relationship that was not of existance. I now know though that the passion i have felt is only the breaking of letting go and knowing that it is possible to feel again in this capacity. Which is good.. I beleive in the Pheonix process and this is now a possiblity for my heart. I wish you the best of luck in your rebirth also... Believe my dear it will happen.



  • Ahhh You are so nice . Sweetie you do what you want to do . I know this feeling all to well . I was the same after my husband passed away and the first guy that came along about 2 years later . It was so good just to feel wanted and needed again . So if this is what you want , you go for it . The only reason I said to not to trust this fella was I thought he was after you money . You take care and I am here for you if you want to chat , anytime , I wish you and you children a very happy Christmas and all the best for 2010



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  • Hi,ok. I have some resolution with this. Accept and acknowledged. However since my birthday is coming up would anyone want to do a reading for me?????

    Bday is 12/24/65 born in torrance California @ 4:14 am.

    Thank you Happy holidays...



  • uullee>>Am I wrong or does he truly have feelings and still is confused by past relationships?

    Sandrsan712>>It's hard to say..Not enough info.Kite..Do you mean flying a kite..?



  • uullee>> have been hanging out with my friend who is a cnacer i am a capricorn woman. He is employed part time by me as my nanny of my 2 boys

    Sandran712>>I missed posting on your post because this was the time my monitor blew up on my computer.I am just now finding your post..



  • Hi. Can I give you some insight from a Cancer girls point of view? Maybe he loves your life. Hard to explain. I was ALMOST engaged to a guy many years ago. I didn't love him BUT I loved his life. I loved the company, his family, his social status, his house, his car all of it. I also loved the way he loved me.

    BUT I didn't love him. I couldn't give myself to him. I don't mean sexually-- that was one way but my heart was another. I couldn't bring myself to commit to him. I dragged it out for years before HE gave ME an ultimatium-- and I left. It hurt me but again I missed the life he gave me-- not him.

    Cancers love family. They love that life-- or at least I did and still do. They need it. It's like their "Chicken Soup for the Soul".



  • Hiiii Moonbeauty,

    Please don take it personally.... why you couldn't u commit to him??? what exactly cause you not to commit to him??.... I am asking you because I guess I am having in same type of situation right now too... so if possible for you... will you let me know what exactly you feel or the cause behind your decision... Or suggest me what I might check if I am in that situation or not.... Or what I should do to make her be with me......??? please if it is possible for you to tell.....will be helpful for me I hope.... Thanks.



  • keldjoran>>He works for you, I wouldn't get involved with him until you find a replacement for him

    Sandran712>>I agree.Do Not get involved with him.I was in this situation.I had a crush on a caregiver for my son.And..He knew it..Nothing was expressed.It got back to the Boss Man..LOL and they moved him to somehwhere else.Never saw him again.



  • "Hiiii Moonbeauty,

    Please don take it personally.... why you couldn't u commit to him??? what exactly cause you not to commit to him??.... I am asking you because I guess I am having in same type of situation right now too... so if possible for you... will you let me know what exactly you feel or the cause behind your decision... Or suggest me what I might check if I am in that situation or not.... Or what I should do to make her be with me......??? please if it is possible for you to tell.....will be helpful for me I hope.... Thanks."

    I didn't love him. I loved what he gave me. I don't mean money-- but he did give me that too-- I mean the life I wanted. He offered me anything but nothing could make me love him. I was very fond of him but that was the best I could do.

    He gave me everything I wanted-- BUT I wanted it with somebody else. I didn't know who, just not him. I wanted-- his life for me.

    I know it's wrong now-- but I was young then. I don't know how else better to explain. NOTHING he could do or give me could make me have the "Va-Voom" for him. And honestly-- he was not ugly or fat, just not my taste. Just had no sparks. The sparks at first were superficial so they wore off. They always do if it's not true.

    I couldn't live with never having the "Va-Voom" forever. And to be fair to him-- he also needed a girl to give him his own "Va-Voom". Everybody should be greedy in that they want somebody to love them for them not for a life they provide.

    Hope that helped.



  • hi well i thought I had it under control.. the family thing I get that. He is definately attracted to the family. I am trying to detach myself but the harder i pull away the more i feel him pulling me in. on Christmas he gave me a necklace, a beautiful diamond like teardrop. he even said we were well matched. But yet he said he could not date me cause of a past relationship and he would never date a women with children.. and our paths cross even when we have not communicated. i am completely confused, and so am going on a date with a man i met on NY's. just cause i know he would go on a date under the same opportunity.

    i just feel that it is all in the fate of the binding of our lives. this is my take on this we are branches of trees that have entwined and a strong wind will break us apart but we will forever be connected with our roots in the soil..



  • uullee>>and he would never date a women with children..

    Sandran712>>That sounds like he is prejudice..I hope he cares for your children better than the crappy attitude he carries with him.



  • I must say as a woman with children if I was seeing him after that comment my eyebrows would be raised. OMG! I am not even one drop kidding.

    He cares for your children and you two have had some "make out sessions" and NOW he says he will never date a woman with children. Wow. Nice to tell you AFTER your hooked.

    I think your date is a good idea. I'd be very careful of your feelings around this man.

    Also, I could be wrong but I think when a man makes a statement like that (about dating a woman with children) he means it. Again, I could be wrong BUT it's like when you hear about a woman who was dating a guy for years and they never got married because he said he doesn't want to get married. Then they suddenly break up nd he marries Little Miss Foo-Foo Pants after 6 months of dating. It's not that he didn't want to get married-- it's that he didn't want to marry her. He wanted to marry Little Miss Foo-Foo Pants.

    Ask a guys advice, maybe they have a better outlook.



  • No have broken all romantic ties with him and am now just professional since he does have a special bond with my youngest boy.. It is because of this relationship I had hired him into a manny position for the summer that has continued. My only confussion is the necklace since he gave this to me after the comment about not dating. And when i did ask my guy friends, about this and they say that they would never give a girl a present like that especially on Xmas, if they did not have other feelings. But like I said as a capricorn I am extremely protective of my family and he would be out if not for my youngest boy. Like you said Moonbeauty i just do not have the Varoom fthat he needs to commit. His loss though cause i am beautiful, spiritual, play hard with the boys in the adrenaline sports., and have 2 fabulous boys with no ties since I am a widow.. But now that he has stated the manipulation word to me I can not trust him. Becauser How do i know he doesn't play the game?? Cheers my friends peace and safe journey..

    Enjoy.


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