Exhusband being shady?

  • as far as i'm concern those are the same guys that run for office and change the laws to protect their buddies we talked about

  • However you must take into acount that 1 day they have to pay,and pay they shall for their cowardice!!!greed,hatred of people especially the 1's that can fend for themselves.i don t know if theirs a god or not really don t matter tome but these people shall pay dearly so the news is not all bad!

  • Sorry, forgot too check my own threads, but yes what we give is what we get back, thats in Gods hands.

  • Wow, I haven't checked this thread in a while, but it has turned into a real mess, more and more threats, I have tried everything too get him too understand theres an investigation, its not complete, and he needs too agree too some sort of counseling, therapy, too be apart of a solution. They said "it wasn't the worst case they ever seen, but that it didn't make it right", but I already knew that. Today, he coered kids with presents all the way back from Easter, and threatend me with contempt of court, and saying he was going too suggest they throw me in jail, I had idea one was allowed too tell a judge what too do, nor have I ever been too jail, at this point, I'm waiting too see if he will actually go through with it this time, I have a lawyer,I'm still nervous and upset, just wish this would go away, so I could be a lot stressed every weekend. I can't beielve the lies, then outragous lengths some will go too.

  • Geez, I am so distracted, major typos!

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  • this makes me sad and i know there is always two sides to a story. it must be incredibly hard for a father not to be able to have much contact with his children. it can really muck up the kids in the long run. sounds to me like he probably misses you and misses his kids and i dont think its ever too late too change. such a hard situation cos it sounds like you have moved on. how much contact does with them does he have now?

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  • Yep, always two sides to a story, but if one side doesn't make sense, then its usually bullshit. Um since when do fathers beat their kid because they miss them? Wht the hell are you talking about? It can mess with kids not to see one of their parents, but when one of them does something questionable, illegal, ect., then its their responsibilty to fix it, not mine, as I don't beielve in hitting children that way, especially ones that have issues like autism, or anything they can't control.

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  • i apologise bluecat. i hadnt read the post above me before i wrote - that poster has nothing to do with me. im sorry i got involved. i didnt realise there was violence involved. sorry to hear that. i wish you well.

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    Hope you get the help you need....Aunt B.

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  • Greetings.

    Hope this meets you in great spirits. I am not sure exactly what is going on but I have read your side of things. I know what it feels like to just VENT even if to total strangers...in my opinion their feed back can be helpful since they don't share your blinders nor attachment to the situation. Like everything in life however, take it with a grain of salt and use what moves you to great heights.

    With that being said, I truly feel for you BlueCat. You seem to me as the type of person to accept those you love because you love them not for all the extra stuff - good and bad. I feel like because he left (finally) and you pretty much allowed him to take all but the kids, your ex is still on a power trip. I have come to believe that the ones we love are the ones who hurt us most...let's face it, they know everything about us. What makes us happy, sad, vulnerable, etc. Remember however know that the only person that can hurt you worst, is yourself. By allowing him to incite fear, anger, control your emotions and barge in constantly in your life, you are allowing yourself to continue being hurt. I know it is easier said than done, but you yourself said you've chosen to construct a different path...follow it. Do all you can legally. Be there for your children and never let them see your ex wield emotional power over you again (even if later in solace you scream your lungs out) ...they remember these things and usually will interprete it as a sign of weakness on your part.

    Pray. No matter your belief, pray. Pray for the strength to resolve this...this matter will be resolved, the difference being how involved you are. Give your best, even if on a bad day the only best you can afford seems miniscule....it is still your best. Keep your intentions pure, for your sake and your children's. It is my belief that even if it doesn't work out to your liking right away, you will gain experience for the next step and will improve results at the next opportunity. Let's not kid ourselves, life is full of up and downs and each experience is a platform for the next. Act. Act as if your prayers are answered, live like you've won back your freedom, like he's an ant and you're the giant, your kids will notice and cling to you more. As a child no matter what was said about my parents divorce, what I saw daily was really what made a difference...it made me closer to my mother than my dad. Blackmail may work for sometime but kids are smart...when things no longer add up, when it becomes a repitition of negativity, they will know the truth.

    I truly feel for you. My eyes well up with tears as i type because i use my experiences to gauge yours and honey, you're dealing with things at a capacity I haven't experienced. Fast, cleanse your space, surround yourself with music, people and things that inspire the good future you strive for. I send good vibes your way.

    Peace and Blessings.

  • Awww thank you bingissoulja! You pointed several good reminders that I could defintly practice too keep the little ones from experiancing to much drama, blessing to you as well!

  • Thank you admin, I aprreciate that. Isn't there a way to block ips? Otherwise he'll create yet another account, and be back most likely.

  • Dear Bluecat,

    I am truly relating to your troubles right now. I was married for 16 years and though some of it was happy there were quite a number of bad times.....My husband used every emotional trick in the book and almost managed to convince me that I was mad, he even managed to bring my self confidence (which was never huge to begin with) to an all time low. Everything that was wrong with our marriage was my fault. He only ever had any interest in the boys when they were young and he could control what they did and where he took them, as soon as they began to want to do things for themselves, all interest disappeared. He has no idea what truly wonderful children they are............

    He had an affair when I was pregnant with my youngest and lets just say the wall which I built around myself became unbreakable.....Last year he had a very bad accident and fool that I am I took care of him and looked after his every need.....I had hoped it would help bring us back on track..........It did not, he was cruel, mean and totally emotionless....During his rehabilitation he began another affair and I told him to leave, which he did. To anyone who will listen he tells that he left for the sake of the children but he never cared for them in the first place so that is untrue. He lies, ignores me and continues to break the heart of our youngest son.

    I have tried to move on and am finally regaining my self confidence and realising that I am a happier and calmer person without him in my life....For years he made me believe that I needed him to survive but I now realise that I never needed him to survive...

    There are still days when I am scared to death, will I be able to start over when it was so hard the first time but I am in a better place now than I have ever been and I have to say that coming to this forum has given me some wonderful advice.

    Keep up the good work and dont let this man bully you or bring you down....

    Best wishes


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