Insight/Advice Needed - Complex Issue..



  • Involved with married (cancer) man for 2 1/2 years, as he was supposedly without affection in his marriage, otherwise I would have never considered being with him intimately. Now to protect himself he is sacrificing me in inhumane and excruciating ways that have me feeling so hurt and confused. I have taken defensive steps against his actions toward me yet he has 'power' in the community aka 'credentials' and I have none to speak of. He is literally massacring (sp) me in a very real way that is affecting my life and well-being very adversely. I can barely breathe and would welcome some insightful winds to blow my way. I am capricorn, we are/were opposites, and man is that reality now becoming oh so real (more surreal).

    He is in denial of our entire 2 1/2 year affair... ok, that would be fine except that he is using the legal system to hurt me. He has lied to his place of employment, his wife and now is making false police reports to save face, or his reputation. I feel like David against Goliath. He works for a state organization and has an outstanding history with them and prior history with other government organizations, including CIA. My life has been threatened physically, and now it seems that it is being extracted from me through other means. I am truly terrified although I am trying to stand up and defend myself. I feel overpowered and am so uncertain about what to do.

    Have an order for injunction against protection and also a assault statement prepared to sumbit, yet I'm afraid to file them!! Why can't I 'just do it?' I have the Inspectors Generals office investigating the whole ungodly scenario, hoping and praying not to be 'buried.'

    I welcome any and all advice... and cheer.

    Thank you,

    Chris



  • TendrOPs>>Involved with married (cancer) man for 2 1/2 years, as he was supposedly without affection in his marriage, otherwise I would have never considered being with him intimately.

    Sandran712>>First of all..A Cancer will not leave family.And the fact he is married.A Cancer has a habit of running back and forth between partners.You need to get out of this affair/relationship.Cancer's will hurt you when they are crossed.And it can get ugly.Cancer is moody and can change their feelings on a dime.All Cancers are emotional.Try posting this on a Cancer thread to get keldjoran's take,He's a Cancer man.



  • Do NOT be intimidated or afraid! Fight back. You MUST! If you have any evidence that you had a relationship with this man, keep it for when you will need it.

    They are intimidating because they are sure you won't fight back and will let them savage you. Please don't lie down and give in to fear!! If you don't put a stop to this, it will get worse. Stop them before its too late!



  • Dear TendrOPs - run, run, run!

    But first, file whatever you need to file to ensure that you're as protected in all of this mess as you can be.

    Cancer men are big softies for the most part (been married to one -not so happily at this point- for nearly a decade), but that soft pulp is kept under a very hard shell that may easily transform itself into an armored tank once they feel threatened in any way.

    This guy shows that not only is he very protective of his allegedly unhappy marriage and his social standing,- he is also (obviously) prepared to go to ANY lengths required to keep things "under control", including obliterating "the enemy" (which, unfortunatelly, means YOU at the moment).

    So, do your part to shield yourself from further harm and stay out of his way! Besides, these kind of lies are too big to be successfully swept under the carpet for too long, so it will probably all end up blowing in his face anyway.

    Typical Cancers are gentle souls, but if they lose it - get away a.s.a.p! (Not to scare you, but remember that OJ is a Cancer)

    I can only tell you that Pluto, the planet of death and rebirth, has recently entered your sign and many Capricorns are in for a major transformation. Be extremely careful of what you're getting yourself into from now on, because Pluto has no mercy in teaching you how to reach your full potential while discarding some heavy baggage along the way. (Just look at the whole Tiger Woods drama in the media - he's a Cap).

    Learn whatever you can from this and move on.

    It gets painful, but there IS rebirth awaiting at the end of the tunnel.

    Good luck!



  • tendrops

    just want to say this, it came up I don't know why

    but it says things will turn to your favor in 2010, quite late

    it doesn't say whether you can avenge what he does, but it seems your name will be cleared somehow

    someone with powers that be is actually looking into your file

    perhaps because something like this has happened before, regarding the same man

    hold on, the ride will get rougher until it gets better

    do your best to stay safe and healthy

    you will have to remember this lesson though

    not messing with married man, no matter what he told you about his marriage

    the universe knows what happened, you don't have to get all defensive with what I am saying

    I am not blaming you or him, I am just saying that you need to learn from this



  • a month ago u posted on this, it had already started before.... separate fact from fiction. step up now & deal with this. this wasn't worth it.



  • Sandran712,

    Thank you for your insight, seems so right on and I needed to hear from other what I have been trying to tell myself for so long. But, dammit, when they love they love good! oh but when they are crossed, hellsbells.. Will try to post to 'keldjoran.' Perhaps a Cancer mans's take will help to clarify more, specifically how I should approach this in a way where no one gets hurt. I am out of the relationship, no going back. Just still in state of shock as events progress and unfold. Tis the season, huh? ... astrologically speaking, eh?

    😉



  • hisbablove,

    Thank you for your timely advice, I will try to preservere. Those pinchers ain't just for teasing, huh? Well, I am learning the other side of the 'claw' and it doesn't feel too nice. I have evidence of our relationship, yet ceratin e-mails that would prove my innocence need to be 'verified' and I'm not sure how to do that. The thing is that he is denying our affair and is saying that .... ohhh, i can't speak of it here.... just to unreal and painful. He is 'savaging' me and I feel so lifeless at times... from broken heart as I drift into what was... fantasies, to hard cold reality that he played me so bad. ouch! I will fight back, I am, yet still am so hesitant as I am fearful. Really helps to get feedback. Thank you again.

    😉



  • ScarsAndStars,

    Wow! Thank you! Right on, yes, and I is runnin' as fast as I can, yet still have so much fear of his retaliation as it has not felt very nice so far. I thought I understood Cancers as I have one brother who is Cancer and my ex0husband, as well. Hmmmm, think I;m getting it now. You are right, when they feel threaten, especially their social staus, they turn into their darkest shadow selves and fight to the death.. that is what I am afraid of as I have been threatened. Because I have no power in the ralm that he does, I am at an extreme disadvantage, and although I have some working on my side, I still wonder who to trust at this point. I also understand now how he likes to keep thngs 'under control' as he tackled me and hit me in the face while I visited him for a weelend late October... I was crying (because he was being aggressive) and he said he just wanted to calm mne down to keep things under control. I never reported, yet it was recent enough I could, I suppose. I really don't want any trouble and wish I could just disappear. Yet, I know I need to face this, for my own dignity, my self-esteem and spiritual health.

    Oh, feel like I could say much more, especially about the astrological impact on Capricorns these days. It is a fine line and balance is hard to find. Thank you again for sharing your insight and offering a gauge to better temper the dynamics as they occur. Much gratitude

    Yes, it is so very painful (mostly) and I am learning, and will be careful.



  • You're very welcome, Tenderops. I know you're in shock that he could treat you this way and it hurts terribly, but you must remain focused and protect yourself. They are attacking you because they/he is so very sure you won't defend yourself and will keep doing so until you do. Worry about the emotions later, when you have done what you need to do to protect and defend yourself. I feel that when and if he sees you fight back and stand up for yourself, he'll stop. Until you do, they are going to keep at you until you have been thoroughly destroyed. Emotional devastation is awful, but you can recover from that. The kind of war being waged against you now, if you don't fight back, will devastate a lot more than your feeling.

    Blessings and Light to you. Stay strong and focused.



  • leoscorpian,

    Oh so hope things do turn in my favor, even if later on, would be worth waiting for, looking forward to. And if my name could be cleared I would actually have cause for celebration. Currently, it seems like a dark and narrow tunnel as all this has happen so fast, all in one months time and still unfolding. I so hope what you say is true, that 'someone with powers that be' is looking out for me. Also, I have wondered (after the fact) if he had done this to others. Also, that possibility is being investigated as well (I think, I hope, or so I was told). Definately not looking forward to that rougher ride, but will stay strong and safe as 'every day gets better and better. 😉 I learn lesson: no mix up with married man. I not get defensive (with you). I learned.

    ;)(thank you)



  • laie4,

    Yes, I did post on the beginnings of this that I hoped would have already ended, yet not so and so I must go, carry on and hopefully survive it. Seperating fact and fiction can get trickey when you're dealing with an over reacting and overprotective type. That might be good in bed, but the otherside no feel good, ya know. Well, I realize it was not worth it except for the fact that I did learn a great lesson.... no married men, especially if their Cancer. 😉 But, no married men anyway, no matter their 'story.' He is also much older than me and that fact too puts me at disadvantage. Nevertheless, I will step up, deal and preservere!

    😉



  • I think I responded with a message on this before--few weeks ago? You should read all the advice posted again and get unstuck. You're paralized. Fear is your enemy. You are past thinking straight--you have given up your power--you need an advocate quik! to help you get moving. A good counseler--attorny--newspaper journalist if it comes down to that. If you are not legaly bound to stay put has it occured to you to just move far far away? It could be what he's pushing for--for you to disapear. You didn't say but I get a horrible feeling you still love this man--can't let go. Is that what keeps you from fighting back? You can't do that to him? He knows you well. Your lover is a preditor--the civilized versions are harder to spot. He feels entitled in a way that you could never understand. You were blind. He told you exactly what you wanted to hear and did what he did because he could and he believes you deserved it for being so weak--I say this not to hurt you but to help you get out of your emotions long enought to see it is what it is. Surprise him and fight back with help or don't and at least run run run and call it lesson learned and never look back. Time is preciouse. What if the next five years were all you had? Would it make a difference how stuck you think you are. Choose a better life. Someone out their can help you but you must really be done with him. Don't just let this all happen TOO you--make a decision. Don't let him make any more of your decisions for you. Get your power back.



  • hisbablove,

    Yes, yes, I am and it does, so very excruciatingly. I am beginning to relize or 'wake up' to what is happening and know, if I am to survive this and thrive later, I must focus and protect myself. I let him penetrate me like no one before. I felt closer to him than I have anyone in my life. It is like a death loss for me, and not a peaceful one, but one that haunts my dreams. I can't sleep, wake up all night. Nevertheless, this too shall pass, I must turn off the emotions, disengage my heart, affirm that daily as I go through the motions in a mechanized way to prtect and defend myself. I offered him peaceful resolution, he rejected the idea. This is his war and he is making me fight in ways I don't even believe in. Feels like my soul is being ripped. I love life and the idea of it, and love, peace and happiness, so I will fight. Thank you again, appreciate so much your wisdom, insight and advice (and empathy). Blessings & Light to you too, my friend. Hey, feeling stronger and more focused already, truly. I admire your strength, you must have endured some battles as well, and apparently came out on top. 😉



  • Blmoon,

    Yes, I remember you, thank you again for your amazing 'right on' insight. Powerful. You do not offend me, but tell me the truth like I need to hear, that I prefer. Thank you. You are right on every chord and I feel humbled yet more empowered at same time. Sometimes we just need a good dose of reality like a shot of very strong coffee... but I like mine with cream and suger! 😉 Wah! Well, gonna have to learn to take it straight and like it and same for my adversaries, right? Yeah, you are really right on, will re-read, absorb and do. I must. Ya know, some of the things you say I have thought and almost as immediately dismissed. Much gratitude for grabbing my brain and giving it a good shake. Hmmmm, kinda distracts from the ripping apart of my heart... yeah, I truly did love him, and ever so blindly, so it still hurts. And no, I don't want to hurt him, or anyone.... but he is hurting me so severely. My lesson is to stand up and fight back... I have never done that (officially). I want to run, I want to disappear, but I must stand and fight this battle so that it does not follow me wherever I go. Got to clean it up, then I am free. No other way around it. Also, want justice, of course. Feeling like I'm getting to the point of being 'mad as hell and ain't gonna take it no more.' Geez, all I wanted was love, sweet, love. Dammit! Why do fools fall in love? 😉 Hey, thanks so much for your insight, amazingly right on the mark and will heed.

    Time is precious, I will value it and myself more. I making that decision now... over a period of days, slowly but surely I will full steam with advocates, even the local journalists if necessary.

    Will get my power back. 😉



  • tendrops

    I'm glad you don't get defensive,

    I notice that the word 'lessons' can cause some kind of misunderstanding

    as if we are all in second grade not doing homework or something

    this happened in another forum and I was trying to avoid you feeling the same thing

    this person is not looking out for you, per se

    he/she doesn't know you, but probably a case like yours, involving the same Cancer man

    happened before, and so he/she is kind of looking deeper into your file

    trying to see what exactly is going on

    I'm not psychic I have been working closely with the spirits

    but very rare they tell me anything about other people

    anyway as for now I'm writing this, there is no new 'message'

    just do your best to stay healthy, and alive



  • leoscorpian

    Very thought provoking and confirming on some suspicions I've had concerning his prior exploits. Hoping more revelations that clarify and help all to move on, free of fear and looking back over ones shoulder. Interesting to consider that someone is actually taking this seriously and not just taking his word at face value... Oh, like I had so many times before. Sometimes feels like I'm in second grade as some lessons I've repeated, always hoping for different outcome, a truer connection, ya know. Hoping 'whoever' discovers the patterns which are only becoming clear to me, even my own naiveties in trusting too much, and that he took complete advantage as he knew all about me and my weaknesses. And hoping that resolution will come quickly as life is way too short to stay stuck in the mire of our mistakes.

    It seems that you are psychic as you work closely with spirits as they share their vision with you. Thanks again for insight and encouragement. Oh, please let me know if any furure messages come in. In the between time, I will do best to stay healthy and alive as I strive to thrive.



  • tendrOps>>But, dammit, when they love they love good!

    Sandran712>>I know when a Cancer love's it really is sincere.That is the way a Cancer is.But, we are just so unpredictable.And even though I am a Cancer.If confronted of another Cancer.I will always have my guard up.We can get very vindictive when we get hurt.That is our defense mechanism kicking in to prortect ourselves.Always remember that when we are friendly becareful too.Because we can still work to make your life miserable.Don't cross us.But,confronting the Cancer when you know there is tension in the air Be civil and walk slowly until you can run...LOL



  • tendrops

    I will keep in touch if there is anything

    you take care now



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