Tortured by love, someone please help me



  • Hi,

    I'm in love with a gemini man (May, 31, 1983) I am doing everything I can to make him see that my love and feelings for him are genuine and sincere. He says he loves me bt its really hard for me to believe him and trust him because he is so hot and cold. Sometimes I just want to move on but I just can't and I find myself sad because I don't know if we have a future. I want to marry him someday. Am I wasting my time? Is he te real deal? Please somebody help me. I am born Feb 9, 1984.



  • Don't do everything you can to make him see that your love in genuine. it's probably better that he wonder a bit. Leave some mystery. As a Gemini, I can tell you that we are easily bored. A little aloofness would probably do the relationship some good. Hope this helps.



  • Hi Maniestdreams,

    It does help a little. But really, am I wasting my time?



  • I've done a tarot reading for you

    Seven of Stones-failure

    Nine of Swords-cruelty

    The Fool-beginnings

    Three of Cups reversed-overflowing

    A deteriorating relationship. Stagnation. Sobbing over what seems impossible to fix. People act with the intent to hurt you deeply. Suffering. You have the opportunity to move forward now.

    In the near future you might go overboard with sex and sensuality. You are probably going to take your feelings of unhappiness,about this relationship, into the near future.

    Well, it seems as though this relationship is not the healthiest. You have the opportunity to move on, if you want, you will just have to deal with the residual emotional fallout. I wish you all the best.



  • This is very disturing information. I just had a baby for this man. I've been told that he will stabilize and that things will get better. You don't think so, huh?



  • Another question, I have had tarot readings before that state that this relationship can work. Do these things sometimes change which would cause different readings over time?



  • I think the cards are reflecting your feelings at this time. Are you more insecure with the relationship since you've had the baby? Can you be happy with the way things are now, or will it take marriage to make you happy? It's not that there is no hope, it's more about what is healthy for you. Can you appreciate what you have with this man now? Only you know the answer to that. If you already have a child with him, then unless he is abusive, I don't think it would be wasting your time to try to make it work, whether you marry in the near future or not.



  • Thank you so much, I am willing to do anything to make it work because I love him and I know he loves me.



  • Well, that's the magic formula.



  • I know but sometimes I wonder if I have the patience for this relationship. I would hate to put years and years into something that will fail. Been there,done that. Its not fun.



  • Leahmya,

    Try to live in the present, enjoy the "now". That's all any of us really have anyway. There are never any guarantees for the future. Don't stress so much. If you wanted a more secure relationship, why did you agree to have a baby before you were married? You said you had it for him, which makes it sound like you planned it. Whether you are married or not, there really aren't any guarantees that it will work out. All you can do is try your best, and part of that is just enjoying what you have. You said "you love him and he loves you", that's a great place to start. Good Luck.



  • That's true and you are right. It was a planned baby. I know nothing is guaranteed, but I'd like to think that I can push things in the direction I'd like them to go. Atleast with love anyway.



  • Hi, When I first read your post, I understood what you are feeling. As I read on, I see that there's a baby involved. When we are intimate with someone, it's easy to develop strong feelings that don't soon die. You are going to have to take this relationship at face value. Realize that you have a wonderful child and that is a gift. Try to sum-up what you do have in this relationship. Maybe you can build on the fact it's not where it should be at this time. I have been at road blocks before and had to look at things differently so that I wouldn't be hurt. If he wants to change, he will. The way he feels or is isn't a reflection on you it's just how you decide to handle it. Wondering if he'll change could be futile, worrisome and aggrevating.



  • Thanks for your input Dalia,

    I guess that's my real question, if things will change for the better. If it can, I wil stick this out until the end. If not, then I may want to move on sooner than later. It's hard because I love him.



  • I would build on the fact that he's your baby's dad. The relationship that they have is important unless he proves otherwise. My advice is not to get fixated on proving your love. If he's smart, he'll see. If he doesn't respond that's your answer-don't you think. Anyway, build on developing a strong relationship between your son (I want to say for some reason) and him. I don't know what the future holds. As young as you are anything.



  • I'm sorry to dash you with cold reality, but your desperate need for him to be in your life is probably the biggest problem, the fact that there is a baby involved probably scares him even more, never love anyone more then you love yourself. I can tell you the more it seems like you will not be ok without him, the more he will pull away. Did you get pregnant before or after he started distancing himself. Babies do not save relationships, they are often casualties. Take care and love your baby for he/she will give you the type of unconditional love you are seeking. Let this man know you can make it without him, and that you will allow him to father his child even if he decides the relationship is not what he needs at this time. He has to see that he loves and needs you on his own. The more you try to convince him the more he will resist being "trapped".



  • Good Advice Dalia and Sexygem,

    Dalia- My baby is a boy! He begged me to have his baby and I did. And do feel I can live without him, and he knows that. I think he doesn't want to lose me because he always tells me that he wants us to be together forever as long as I stay true. My only problem is his hot and coldness. It drives me crazy.

    Sexygem,

    The last thing I want him to feel is trapped. I just dont want to invest too much time into something that wont last. Sometimes I often feel that my heart wont be broken as long as I keep it to myself.



  • bump



  • I feel the same way, I can't believe he begged you to have his baby and now is acting like a a-hole. He has no excuse! You gotta back up and back off until he gets his mind right. If he doesn't drop that zero, and make sure you get child support. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I HATE to hear about bs like this.


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