I have been in a 7 year relationship and it has been somewhat rocky. He has recently moved out and was still having intimate relations with me, but about a month ago he said that if I didn't change a few things and" fix it", he didn't want to continue intimate contact. He had mentioned recently that he had needs and that I didn't make enough of an effort to intice him or be sexy. What do I do?
no confusion ---- kick him to the curb!
Laie4 is very right. Stand up for yourself and stop his nonsense. I get a great deal of disdain from him. He doesn't respect you very much, but then, neither do YOU.
I don't feel like you have much fight in you. Its almost like you don't really care but don't want to give him up either. You don't want to be alone and have been with him so long,its almost like a bad marriage everyone got used to living with.
Think about why you got to where you are now and why you don't want to change it.
Blessings and Light
He has said that he feels that you dont make enough effort to entice him or be s exy? Is that what the stars hide? Then you ask what you should do.
Many feel that the marriage is that two people are united and guided by the desires to be with another. Then they should take their responcibility to please each other the best they can throughout the entire lives to please each others desires- until death aparts them, as is said in the church when they marry.
So if the marriage is that two people are guided by lust to be with each other, then obviously you have failed your responcibility.
But if marriage is that the two are guided by their souls, by the higher state that comes when the soul is guided by a higher power, a inner Light, then he has failed.
Seems that the two of you disagree what united you in the first place. A higher state of love or the desires?
You should thank him for letting you go. A relationship that excists because of desires or lust will end up miserable.
forget him he's only an A******!!!
Tell him "see you later baby", this guy is not worth the effort. If he wasn't just thinking about himself and his own needs all the time, then perhaps there would be something for you to feel s*exy about and a reason for you to entice him.
This relationship has passed it's use by date, you know this, it's time for you to move on and put yourself first for a change.
I totally agree with Wenchie. You said it has been rocky off and on. Is it worth the headace and feeling like your not doing enough. What make him think that he is doing everything to satisfy you. Please don't forget about you. Build up your selfesteem and say fuch you. And yes I did spell it right. You get the point, life is to short. I am sure u are a beatiful person. Get you back!!!!!! Don't forget about you.
I also agree. That “fix it” statement really makes me mad. Intimacy is a 2 way street; if he doesn’t think you are making an effort to entice him, then what is HE doing to entice you? Sorry, but you are not an actress (won’t say what kind) on a screen trying to work up a dead fish. Are you communicating your needs to each other, and is he listening or does he even care?
I just feel your relationship is coming to a end. Maybe not just yet. I feel that couples sometimes get lost in what keeps that fire burning. If one says anything about intimacy, lack of attention, not enough seducing, enticing loose dancing and you haven't changed in anyway what so ever, then who needs to change? You or Him? Remember now, He never complained then, and you're still THE SAME. But now he seems not satisfied enough, and by not giving in on what he wants, the blame will go to you for not trying to keep this relationship going. People know the truth, but sometimes hearing from other people or person, helps you on what you already know and what you really should do.
Been there, done that...
their is an old saying when in doubt throw it out, move on nothing to be gained in all of this
Kick his sorry derriere to the curb, sweetheart!! A relationship needs effort from BOTH people to be nurtured and survive. Sounds as if he wants you to be the only one working on the relationship, and thus be the only one responsible for its failure. What has he done for the relationship lately besides make you feel like crap? Trust me, there is someone out there who will love and appreciate the wonderful person you are, and will be happy to work together with you to build a great relationship. Please listen to all these wise and caring people in here! I am going to send you a healing energy and light to help you. Much love.