Soulmate? or just driving me nuts?



  • I was just reading the thread about wether or not soulmates are real because if so then mine just will not get out of my mind, its driving me crazy, because I wonder what the purpose of it is? The first time around I broke their heart, the second time we ended up bumping into each other five thousand miles from home, then they broke my mine and wasn't very nice about it, I've moved on with life, nothing much seems to have changed with them, I've thought of them from time to time, I wouldn't ever forget them, but hadn't made it a point to speak too or see them again either, but of course it just so happend, and here we go again. We live in different states, have different lives, but so many questions from the past rise up that won't seem to rest, I don't feel comfortable asking those questions as we haven't made much progress in communicating, they are very busy at the moment in a job thats dangerous, and never stops, or mabe I'm not worth the effort to them to keep in touch, either way at this rate its going to take another several years for me to figure it out, then probably just start all over again. I know we have some connection, I wish we could turn the page, be friends, the thing that bothers me most is how this person seems so significant to me in the way of being a part of who I was, who I came to be, and yet I have no idea if that holds true the other way around for them, if they felt, feel, or just feel nothing with me now? they did and said some things that confused me to no end in the past, they said they thought we were soulmates when we were really young, then later said "no fate but what you make", it was as if they thought if there really is soulmates it takes away your freedom of choice or something, like they were going to "defy it". I bieleve if there is then we are, but I don't have the urgency to be in a relationship with them romantically, I just have this sense of knowingness that they showed up around me again for a reason, and now its been a month since I've talked to them, so I keep wondering what the hell is the purpose of it? I don't want to be heartbroken again!



  • Bluecat, this is what I wrote to another person

    just go with the general idea of soul mate and you will find some answer to yours there

    As the word says it, soul mate completes you. Remember the focus is on the soul or the essence, not on the physical. This means is that as the essence, it is not limited to time, shape and dimension etc. it can take any physical form, male female human animal of any kind it feels necessary in order to learn. Life on the physical is meant to learn and move forward. We all return to the physical world for this purpose, we will live one life time to another until all lessons are learned. How many life times should we have? Only we know that, for each of us learn at different speed and method that is individual to us. This said, not all of us return to the physical world at the same time. Unless we make a pact to do so, or the universe feels we have to, for there are things we need to learn together. What are these things that we can only learn together? It could be a lot of things.

    Let’s say my soul mate is B. when B and I first met, we were warriors fighting for different side. What we learn from this life time will be, well the arts and strategy of war or related to nationality. The universe may decide ‘well you two will learn something else next time’. So after we die, the universe returns us, this time maybe as politicians (because we have learnt about battle ground, but not politics) we would be born in a politician family or connected to one, and so we become politicians. This time, I and B are in the same country, but different party. So we then learn how to defend our political interest and yet prioritize our country, for we are then fellow countrymen. B might be corrupt and I might be not, so these are things that can happen and need to be learnt from, among many. The relationship between B and I in the physical world can be anything from total opposite (always fighting and hurting each other), total agreement (always supportive and agreement, respect each other even if we are defending different country per say) or in between (pretty much, if it’s beneficial I will stick with B, if not, well s crew B, I’ll do it my own way!) something like that. There are numerous different degrees to these relationships, and all that are meant to be learnt by experience. Now in terms of love, your soul mate, if he is in this life time as you are. He can be a total j erk, total honey, or in between. I will give you one example. My husband now was my second husband in the past. He was violent and abusive, physically and emotionally. My first husband has not reincarnated yet, but the abusive one and I met again in this life time and my marriage is a blissful supportive one.

    The universe is not out there to punish us for all our wrong doings, it has sent me and my husband to the same life time, so that we meet and marry, and he will learn a lesson of how to be a good husband while I learn that there is such a thing as a good man. Due to my past experience with men, in this life time, I had lost the faith in them. But with this marriage, my trust in them returns. It is kind of silly anyway, for we can’t generalize people by only gender, right? You can read any book about souls, it will tell you different relationships you might have with soul mates. All I’m saying is here is just generalities, what I am taught by mentors and spirits.

    Now let’s go back to your question about scammers. There are people out there scamming others for money. One way to find out, is to ask them questions before paying. Find out how much they know about soul mate (if that’s what you are looking for). If they say this man is your soul mate and you should be together, you know they are scammers. Why? Because a soul mate may complete you, but the lesson we have to learn differ from life time to another. If his lesson to learn is about staying faithful to his wife no matter what, and yours is to find true love, well you two can not be together. You will be together, however, if the universe means it so. This means the universe does send you two to this life time to meet and marry. But even if this is the case, you have to remember, that not all of us remember why we are here. This means you may feel that he is your soul mate, but he may not feel that way, whatever reason who knows. Many of us do not nurture our psyche, only care for the physical, and so many of us do not know how to receive guidance from the universe and so we do not know many things that we could’ve known if we do nurture the psyche. Questions such as who are we, who is my soul mate, is he for me, are we meant to be together etc



  • The last pragraph is mostly for the other person, so ignore it

    this is its replacement, for you.

    Because a soul mate may complete you, but the lesson we have to learn differ from life time to another. You will be together, however, if the universe means it so. This means the universe does send you two to this life time to be together. But even if this is the case, you have to remember, that not all of us remember why we are here. This means you may feel that he is your soul mate, but he may not feel that way, whatever reason who knows. Many of us do not nurture our psyche, only care for the physical, and so many of us do not know how to receive guidance from the universe and so we do not know many things that we could’ve known if we do nurture the psyche. Questions such as who are we, who is my soul mate, is he for me, are we meant to be together etc



  • You are seeking to understand why this connection keeps coming up in your life. It is something to pay attention to given the meeting when younger and the meeting again 5000 miles away. Any person would be curious with this history! It seems that you were together & break it off, again. Your curiosity about him and what you Think might be his place in your life .... sorry, it's a slight fib you are telling yourself. ( friends v. heartbroken angel) There was a lot of bickering and conflict, not an easy mesh of personalities. I keep getting the image of him as a runner. He doesn't deal with emotions well.

    Still, You may or may not be soulmates ... this is an unanswered question for you. One that you may never answer. His path is different from yours. His lessons and your lessons haven't meshed ... Revisit the history with a clear head and not a needy heart --- you'll see things for what they were. (Sorry again, I couldn't stop the message, but I didn't want to hurt you either. ) Who knows --- maybe your lesson is not to push, but to learn patience this time around. Don't we all, lol !



  • LeoScorpian thanks for the insight, I think it will serve me well, rather then obsessing over what I can't change. Laie4 Thank you as well for responding, no need to be sorry, I see what you mean, telling myself we could be friends, I wish we could be, but your right, the hurt is there. This person has never been married or committed in such a way as they were with me in the past, I guess I see them as they were before they grew into the "runner". I realized everytime anything went seriously wrong in my life, I always wanted to run to them for some reason, I didn't always do this, but it was always in my mind too, I don't know why it feels heartbreaking now, I do have a strong feeling they complete me somehow, we lost a child together, it was heartbreaking, I haven't brought it up, because I don't know how they feel about that now. Sometimes I wonder if me, them or both just need are meant to heal somehow from the past, sometimes I wonder if mabe they wouldn't have the problems they do if we had stuck it out together in the first place? I feel the completeion with them, they haven't said, but I'm assuming they don't, I hope we can learn what we're meant too from it, just so hard with all these unrested feelings in the way



  • everyone needs healing now and then

    there is no single person not carrying wounds from the past

    maybe the main wound was healed, but the small details will still be there

    even if these small details are healed, new experiences may hurt us

    therefore healing is a continuous process

    give yourself time to heal, and let go of expectation during this period



  • Thank you, thats a good idea, to let go of the expectations, I hope you get back all you've given on here to people.



  • yes the universe sends it back to me

    thanks for the good wish and hope the same for you



  • I too know what it feels like to want soul mate love feelings to just rest. Especially as 2009 comes to close. Nothing would make me happier then to know that in 2010 my soul mate and I find a way to make our love real and long lasting. Reading the comments above has brought me some comfort in knowing that if it is meant to be it will.



  • cocoa

    some things have to be fated by the universe, for them to happen

    leave these to the universe, free yourself from worry and despair



  • So True LeoScorpion! I bieleve theres a reason it gets under my skin, the thing with me is I don't want to go backward,because I love those that are in my present, where would they be if I wished that? I have a desire to make peace, heal old wounds, turn the page, of course with the history, connection we had theres bits and pieces of left over feelings, leaving a trail, I'm all about figuring out if this soulmate person and I have a greater good goal to complete, help each other somehow to do what we are suppose to do. I figured out so far my ego was damaged when we said goodbyes so I have to learn a bit of humility, less ego, now I certainly Don't think of myself as a"princess" but even people with low self worth can have an ego trip from time to time and that can keep us hanging on instead of letting go, he and I may have work to do, but I'm starting to see how it may not be all about Lovey feelings twoard one another, theres defintly more to these things sometimes, my wish is that he could get on the same page, but thats out of my hands, if it ever is, then I'll have to trust that I'll know what to do. Cocoa, LeoScorpions words are true for the benefit of being free of wanting and suffering, I know its easier said then done,sometimes its very difficult I think for the fact that we can't seem to "fix" it, or it just seems to get harder, the odds start stacking, I know how all that goes with that one person who drives you nuts. I'll pray for you and your soulmate situation. I don't know if I know exactly how the letting go part works yet, is there a trick or a short cut to that mabe?



  • bluecat

    it is hard for everyone to let go of expectations of love, of career, or achievement etc

    only not everyone talks about it openly and not everyone understands the need to let go and choose to cling tightly

    I would suggest, find an outlet that works for you

    if you are creative, pour the emotion onto something creative, maybe painting, writing, song, any form of art

    if you are a chatty person, find someone you can trust and talk about it you can always confide on people here since they don't know your real ID you will be fine and you are not alone

    if you are studious, spend your time researching about anything you are interested in

    if you are a career person, spend your time wrk long hours for your ambition

    if you are into sports, even better, physical work out, yoga, meditation, jogging

    whatever you do, channel this emotion somewhere that will benefit you in the long run, take your mind off it and let the universe take care of it. some people relocate, so they meet new people and see ew places, change their routine to healthier and more manageable schedule.

    despair and worry will knock on your door. when they do, tell yourself This Too shall pass.

    Create an affirmation words you like. Say it any time you want to, out loud or in mind. This will help reprogram your thoughts, and help you refocus when past memories kick in.



  • Wow, sometimes I can't bieleve how many times I have to be told the same thing, the light bulb goes on, the ahh moment comes, then I think to myself, I knew that! Why have I worried? I think I'll make your mission a little easier , I'll listen and apply simoutanously this time, I do love to paint, rarley have time anymore, I'm going to paint the affirmation and hang it where I can't miss it!



  • LOL mission?

    naw the universe meant for me to write these tips again and again

    peope may throw insult, degradation, bricks/eggs (not yet but may happen), appreciation, promise etc they are throwing them to the universe really, not to me

    you are making this decision for your life, not mine

    it's you who will benefit from the right decision, not I

    bye now and take care



  • I know, I meant mission for lack of thinking of the word I meant to say, which was help, the helping part that I'll benefit from by listening, whether it be the first time or the 20th I guess, either way, just so you know I think your sharing what you have has helped a lot of people, including me, sometimes I don't articulate what I mean to say very well, I think of mission as a good thing that someone does for others, and I meant to say I apprieciate that and would try not to take that for granted, so far so good, thanks.



  • okies

    take care and keep trying

    ask for the universe (or your Divine) to help, it will



  • I will do that, I just passed along this site to someone who really, really needs emotional support right now, they've been through more then I could ever imagine going through, I'm hoping it leads to some new found guidance for them, I love to help people, but like I mentioned sometimes I'm a better listener and nodder then I am a talker, I always mean to say this and comes out that instead, I stutter a lot too even on the computer, I've learned to be quiet, I think theres things I could respond too, but I don't most of the time because of my communications skills, a gifted individual on here even picked up that my main issues were communicating in a whole other situation I posted! Hopefully my new libra friend will benefit from the wisdom and kindness that I have here.



  • very nice of you bluecat

    spreading words to those in need

    in a way you have shared what you learned

    soon you will be able to share more

    just keep trying and don't give up

    hope for the best and happy holidays if I haven't said it



  • Oh thanks! Happy holidays to you too!!!



  • I just wanted to add that I was reading some kaotic posts on here, that I wouldn't touch for the life of me, but I feel so gratful right now, I see what you mean about asking for readings and vise versa now, sometimes it seems like people might be in too much pain too ask the right questions, or accept it anyway, really opened my eyes in a way. I still get impatient from time to time about wanting to"know" about certain people, places, purposes, and what not, but I'm feeling really at ease, more patient with life now, I'm not so intent on any one thing happening, and its freakn amazing, I'll always have my feelings good, or bad, but I think I'm really starting to get the letting it go part, and knowing I'll know when it comes time if I need too, its not so pressing anymore, amazing what we can learn from others if we only we could all take emotional ickyness out of the equation for a moment, and then bring back the emotions for the better when the time is right. Did you send me good vibes or what? Thanks again


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