Scorpio and Libra
That's very true and we don't mean to scare you. Just give back what he gives to you and you should enjoy his deepest love. Now remember Libra's have jealous moments also but if your smart you won't take it there because here comes the trust issues again. Just be kind and you'll do fine.
I truly love being a Libra!!
Why wouldn't you? LOL I wish that we weren't quite so difficult at times. I just met another Libra man Sept. 23. And I was kind of hesitant to even bother to meet him. Cause we were alike and yet so far apart. He acts like I do but he has interests so far away from mine that I can't see it going anywhere and it's funny and I don't mean ha ha. We are both waiting for the other one to make a move. And yet when I think about it I start to laugh. He likes to gamble not me. He plays golf. Nope not me. I don't watch sports on tv. I played softball when I was in my 30's and 40's but since I don't now I really couldn't care less. I have never met a Libra who wasn't just crazy about animals. He was afraid of my cats jumping on him. I said they won't jump on you they want to be scratched. And I said I will tell you a cat knows when you don't like them and they will bug you big time because they sense it. He doesn't care for dogs either. Won't work in my world. Not a gardener, doesn't work on cars. Doesn't do wood work. Man I am used to men who do it all. I learn from them and that's what I want in my life. This one isn't a keeper. I also want someone again who is spiritual and I can discuss things with and tell what I feel about what I am receiving and can give me some feed back. Not someone who rolls their eyes cause they think I am a nut or is scared of what I do. I didn't think that would be hard to find but you know maybe I shouldn't have been thinking. So i will put my order back out to the universe again and see if I need to change the bait again cause I got some nibbles but it wasn't tasty enough. LOL
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LibrasLair and LibrasRise, spot on about us! Yes, with us actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. We're masters with words so it's a way to get our attention and to get us to listen but we won't actually believe you until we see if you actually walk the talk. And I agree not all Libras are materially lavish. I will say that we can be lavish in different ways though. For example, a weekend in bed where you wait on me hand and foot and feed me great food you cooked and make wonderful love and spoil me like I'm the center of your universe - that's as lavish as taking me to a weekend in Paris in a four star hotel with gowns and diamonds.
You just have to show us how you feel, rather than tell us. Ironically though we love to communicate, as you guys have said, we are emotionally disconnected from ourselves. We sometimes can't tell if we love someone or like someone. The only way we can really tell is if over a long, careful wooing that we realize we really depend on someone emotionally and cannot stand it when they're not there loving us, and then we realize, oh, I love him/her. The harder you love us, yes, then we know for sure, it helps us "align" our scale.
If you're wishy washy ... then we're wishy washy, and yes, we can get fed up with unkind/childish/game playing really fast. We just can't handle it, and we'll put a stop to it and move on. We are always looking for love and we know games like that don't mean love.
All actions have to be honest, genuine.
Flowsco, it is the little things. As LibrasLair said if you remember the little things a Libra said about themselves and show it in an action - they will be absolutely thrilled. They won't necessarily say it but believe me, the points are racking up in their head as they look at you. Those actions say to them, ah, this person really respects me, is really considerate, is really my equal. I will not be wasting my efforts and attention on them.
It's a really basic delight that means a lot to us. It's like, oh, you remembered I like X? How romantic! If you do an extra effort around something like that we are just floored. It doesn't have to be major. All it has to be is that you showed initiative over doing something related to something you know we care about.
But your Libra, let me say, do not assume he doesn't care. I am serious, we come off that way, as emotionally distant, but if a Libra has shown you interest by sharing deep dark secrets with you- they are definitely thinking about you, and often. No matter how busy or how afraid or whatever excuses they are telling you. They are saying all that to try and be "fair" and protect themselves, in particular in the face of a person who isn't sharing as much. They are trying to leave themselves the cracked door LibrasRise mentioned, to leave themselves an emotional out. Regardless of that, they are in the room with you, and they haven't left.
The secret here with your Libra, and it's really hard to explain... you have to act like you already know you mean a lot to them and appreciate it. You have to act like you are happy to have them in your life and expect them to be in it forever.
My greatest relationships, romantic or not, were those relationships where it started casual, friendly, and the connection was just comfortable. Just easy,no drama, no manipulation, everyone open, honest about their wants and needs, no things left off the table. The more information shared, the happier a Libra is. The more open you are, the happier they are, the easier it is for them to understand what you want and for them to give it to you and share with you and feel comfortable and not shy away or be distant or keep waffling back and forth with you.
I know what's really frustrating you is time. The distance thing is actually making your Libra happy. I will say that sometimes with intense emotions due to our discomfort with them we may run away from our own feelings because they unsettle us. We can also run away from people who make us feel unsettled (especially if they demonstrate mixed signals) because its too prickly. We don't like uncertainty. We like certainty.
if you set up a "mood'" between you of firm, loving, open certainty, they will calm down and not "buck." They'll settle down enough to fall in love.
LibrasRise your Scorpio - if you are very young you are being romanced here by the intense emotions but the roller coaster the Scorpio puts you on - I agree with LibrasLair you might not be able to put up with that for a while. Libras need space and to shine. Putting you in a box to make you all his so that you can't be social or interact with others without making him intensely jealous - that's fighting material for a Libra.
It's definitely s.e.x.y. but it adds up to a lot of drama. Too much seriousness, too much pressure. I feel bad because I'm trying to think of ways to help you out here but if he's that insecure there is honestly nothing you can do about it. You could be a nun and never leave your house and that still may not make him happy. That is not the person he fell in love with and that is not the self you want to be. He is trying to change you, something very core to your very identity and well - I'm 30, LibrasLair is 40+ and we're at a stage where we wouldn't stand for it.
But if you've never been with something like this before ... my philosophy has always been you're just going to have to ride it through and learn whatever lessons, good and bad, it may teach you.
LibraRise I will tell you I don't feel comfortable for you and you can take that anyway you want to. but it doesn't feel right is all I know. Just be careful this seems like a game and too possessive for my liking. And thmilin I am a bit more than 40+, try 61 on the 18th of Oct. So I can say I have loved them and left them and been left. I don't need a man in my life any longer but I would like one for the reason that they talk my language better than women. The tomboy in me makes me like the male companionship more interesting. You explain us so well and I really like to read what you have to say. For your youth your a very smart woman. I am a pretty simple person I think until I start talking to men and I find that I am more technical than I thought.
You guys cannot imagine how grateful I am at the moment for all your insight. Reading all of this make me feel more how out of the love game I have been all this time. I was in my comfort zone keeping all men away and just worked next to them.
I did tell him last night that he make me uncertain of myself and it’s all unexpected and complex for me. The more I read here the more I realize that he has opened up to me big time. I was just confusing it all with the way we met. I was sent to this health club and met him through a cousin of mine which is his best friend. This man is a spiritual man. He once said to me that I have asked to find someone like him. At First I thought he was full of himself until I sat down and thought it through. And yes I did ask but wasn’t aware that it would of manifest itself like this. I asked to find someone who can tell me what is wrong with my arm and fix it. (I had (thanks to him) problems with my right arm for years). I didn’t ask to fall in love with someone. I have me very high on my own list.
I was also confused why he chose me. With that I mean...this man is around women 24/7 and he can have his pick. I have consciously not done anything to seduce him in the sense of s.e.x.y. outfits etc. We joked around the subject but it all stayed at that. He always said he only surrounds himself with people that have positive energy and that I have allot energy that I am not using correctly.
When I met him I spoke about him to a friend. She is very spiritual as well and she said this one is a keeper. Didn’t get it at that moment because my head, heart etc was upside down. Honestly I was very aroused by the guy and wasn’t thinking clear. She declared me mad. lol
He said he can teach me allot if I gave him the chance to. I intentionally kept this all at an arms length because I didn’t want to be the challenge that needed to be wheeled in by a guy. You know when you’re single for a long time men tend to think...aha. Look the guy have kids and exes. Allot of baggage there. I only have one ex that gives me a migraine and a kid that I love dearly. He met my son and they get along. To think of it...they were more ahead of this all than I was because I was the messenger lady between them. Saying hi etc. Lol
About the jealousy....ahhh yeah...seen that part of him already. Jeezz that pissed me off....seriously and he didn’t have any reason to. I was waiting for him to finish with another client and was talking to my brother on the phone. I was laughing and he came to get me and saw I was engaged in a conversation. He stormed towards me and spoke very very loud so that my bro couldn’t miss him. Boy I hated that. And I made it clear that I didn’t like that. I did tell him that it was my brother but still....that’s a no no in my books. I could have been talking to a client. It would be ridiculous if I get that attitude every time his phone goes off.
I try to think in his work I can trust him as he says it is work. Because I need that same kind of trust from him with my line of work.
He is indeed a very verbal person as you stated. That’s why I was flabbergasted when I previously told him I wanted to talk outside his work situation and then he kind of gone missing. And when I showed up he was shocked to see me but composed himself since I once again had to wait for him to finish with a client. So his attempt for actually making a date with me even though he didn’t say it with so many words did warmed my heart up. Because it would of been our official hanging out time.
LOL @ spoiling in bed. I don’t want to scare the man!!! LOL. Nah seriously I can only do that if I am absolutely sure I am the only one on his mind. He briefly said to someone that I am difficult.
But now I am seriously wondering about that outburst in public. Did he mean it? It was pretty crowded and it was in his home city and he had a person that he knew standing next to him and he just expressed himself.
When I expressed myself to him I took into consideration that we met at his work and me having feelings for him is a no no with his kind of work and didn’t want to get him into trouble. I opted to find someone else to continue with me. He absolutely didn’t want that. I don’t know if he can keep it professionally. I mean if it was me....just knowing that he was coming in a day would have me thinking of things I would want to say and do.
Reading all you wrote makes me realize that I have to take a bigger risk and show more of me. I sincerely hope that I am not setting myself up to get deeply hurt. That’s why I was opting for the friendship part first. I know that I am in love but for the situation it was my safest option. Get to know each other. I already told him that we are alike in many things. But his brains is already on the bedroom lol. I asked him yesterday...are you able to lye next to a woman without touching her. He replied and do what with my hands??? LOL He said he hates sleeping alone. Go figure
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Flowsco I understand the fear evolved in taking a chance on love with this man. But knock it off. He is giving you all of the signs that he is trustworthy of your love. And you know people come into our lives when they are suppose to. You have much to learn from him. And if it doesn't work at least you will have his teaching that you need very much. And that old saying better to have loved and lost than to never have love at all. Please don't miss all of the feelings that go along with finding someone who makes you smile and giddy. And like a kid again. For that experience woken again it's worth it. Drop that wall and stop thinking so hard. It's love now how can you turn that gift down?
LibrasLair, thanks for the kind comments about my posts!
We have the same birthday! Oct 18 I knew you were somewhere over 40 based on something you said in your posts on these boards, just not exactly sure where past it, so I didn't want to presume.
I actually haven't had a lot of lovers but I have had a lot of relationships, ones that couldn't get off the ground, ones that were empty, ones where I tried too hard, or didn't try hard enough ... it all just adds up to us trying extremes until we balance out and realize what will be will be, as you've said in your other posts on the boards.
I no longer "search" and "fish" either ... I want a partner and know that I will be at my best in one but I don't force it and know myself well enough to try to be the best I can be and worry about "the one" when he crosses my path.
Let's just hope he crosses my path! Unfortunately I'm a bit pessimistic and wonder if all people ever get a "one" in their lives or if some are just unlucky and never do get that chance ...
LibrasLair... I agree. I will do my best. He will wonder what happend to me. lol
thmilin I know the last one which I am still married to for financial reasons and he doesn't give me anything now but social security will. But he was a teacher for me and I didn't have that with anyone else. He is a psychic and he helped me to open and move to another state where I met people who also helped me. So I take something from every relationship and find a positive and believe me it was great for several years but it came to an end because I was getting wise to what he was doing and I think with the help of others who could see what was going on that he was afraid I was getting close to knowing just what he was doing while out on the road driving a truck. I was being told by my guide that I had never known a Taurus who was faithful. That was because I missed all the other signs he had to give me, that slap on the back of my head to get my attention did it. I don't get the suttle information when it comes to me. I was crushed, but when I found out he was telling lies about me I straighten right up. I moved right on from then on.
thmilin -- I was the same..not looking. But I wasn't pessimitic because I always noticed how men looked at me and were "interested" in me. I just wasn't up for it. Decided at a point that I was going to work on everything I want/need in my life and a man would be a disruption of my plans.
I won't go and say..oh look at me now. I am just astonished that's all.
Librarise -- My ex is an Scorpio. I just shut the door at that chapter a few days ago. I will refrain myself in going into details how our relationship was. I think everybody (sign) deserves a fair chance untill they mess it up themselves. All I want to say is that we were young and intense.
Trust your gut feelnigs and never let go of whom you are.
Flowsco! Glad to help. This is fun! I like talking about romance and Libras.
Yup, I agree, I think he's gone out on some limbs for you, everything you recount just keeps adding up and up and up and I'm like, he's waving his arms trying to get you to jump into them!
Totally agree with LibrasLair. Better to love!
Get over the "why he chose me" part - Libras are picky. We are. If a Libra deliberately pursues you in any way - it means they know exactly what they want and have spent time deliberating and are thoroughly decided. Remember, we don't make rash emotional decisions, and everything we do is weighed before we do it. We are very analytical and practical that way. If we choose to go out on that limb - we weighed all pros and cons and decided it was worth it and what we wanted and we are willing to risk the embarrassment or discomfort to do it.
Whatever other options he had - he wants you. You have something he wants someone else can't give him. He finds you tricky and interesting and he's jealous of you. He wants to get in your pants. You intrigue him and he's healed you and he's revealed personal secrets to you. He talks about you to his friends and has made public declarations over you. He's chasing you at his place of work, which is a potential threat to his reputation (Libras care a lot about their reputations).
The signs are all there. You're just self-doubting and trying to pretend you can't read them.
I know you're flabbergasted and feel weird and you've been used to being single and focused and probably asexual (I'm at that point myself). You're like, why me, and how, and oh man all this drama and self doubt and it's complicated and I can't handle this and is he really SURE he wants this, maybe he's confused and maybe I ought to just keep us friends so it's safe and I don't have to upend my life too much and it'll be easier to return to singlehood if it doesn't work out. Because strong practical women don't like messes and like to be efficient about avoiding them.
Love doesn't work that way. Either you go for it or you don't. There is no in between. You try it out. If it fails, you move on. If you play the platonic card then you have to literally play it and stick to it. You can't wonder and flirt and try to exchange s.e.x.y pheromones and read into what you're both saying. Either you go for it or you're platonic asexual friends. Which one do you really want more? Whichever it is, make it clear, and go for it, and nothing in between.
I know that's easier said than done but seriously - you deserve happiness. Yes, it could all fail and blow up in your face. But it could also give you the man you've been waiting for and actually probably gave up on ever having.
About you being "difficult" - that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Again, you have to get a Libra's attention to get somewhere, and you can get it by being a bright shiny thing or an intriguing "complication" (or both!). Just know that if you continue to be "difficult" and there is no progress in your relationship - on both sides - he will stop trying to work with you and will move on and treat you like a passing acquaintance. Slow and steady, snail's pace. Keep moving forward, don't stagnate. I know it's frustrating but the only truth here is, be yourself, open up, and show him that you trust him. If you are wishy washy, take 2 steps forward, 1 step back, he'll give up because it's too much work over time. Too much work or too much drama is something a Libra is only willing to do for someone absolutely amazing who they know is going to be an eventual victory for them. If they sense or doubt that the end result is not going to even come to pass - they'll eventually sour on the drama and resent you for leading them on. Libra's are also lazy.
Ways to practically woo him - that don't involve bed. Find out what his favorite music is. When he gets back from being out of town, take him to see a live concert of it. I am also going to take a leap and assume he likes being pampered - he's male but he's a Libra and probably likes massages and "man manicures." Set him up or get him a gift certificate. If you really want to tickle him, send him flowers with a mysterious card that says one simple line of something cheeky and clever and sign it only with your initials. It'll turn him on. I'm serious about the one line - Libras like tact, taste, and mystery. If you put a bunch of poetry or a long message it makes the message mundane. If you're cryptic but the line is just enough to get him curious to learn more or to go "aha!" at the inside joke, it "excites" the playful side, the childish side that likes to play social games.
As an example, if you've been out the week prior and you really loved the scent of his cologne you could write, "I can still smell your cologne ..." and it will both immensely flatter him, arouse him, and make him want to call you immediately to find out exactly how you remember his cologne, at what moment you smelled it during the date, and what it did to you when you smelled it. He wants to know he's on your mind driving you crazy and little tasteful signs to hint that's what he's doing will keep him after you like a dog on a bone. Don't send him your underwear send him a lipstick kiss on a cloth napkin, don't send him a picture send him a postcard ... don't be too literal or blunt, give him truths and feelings wrapped in finesse and actions.
You will wrap him around your little finger.
Libra men are not above being wooed just like a woman is wooed. Other ways ... learn his favorite color. When you're close enough to know the sort of clothing he'd wear or accessories he'd like (be careful, Libra's are picky about style so make sure you know him well enough or he'll put away the gift and never use/wear it), buy something really unique and striking that nobody else has or could ever find for his birthday/xmas/special event (like let's say he goes to grad school and graduates or reaches some other personal benchmark to celebrate). We like unique things no one else has. It makes us feel unique and makes us think the gift giver really appreciates us for the unique person we are. We also like really beautiful things. They don't have to be expensive either. Example - you could buy him a silk scarf for his suit pocket that's relatively inexpensive but in his favorite color. Etc.
Jealousy from a Libra - wow that's quite an outburst of bad behavior from him, which is rare for a Libra. Libras only behave badly if agitated or emotionally invested so I'd take it as a good sign of his affection if he broke his own code of social grace. Most Libras know better and considering how we hate other people's jealousy we definitely try to fight our own jealousy for others. That doesn't mean we don't feel it, mind you, it just means we usually don't show it and if we do, we must really like you. You may have to train him to calm down which I'd just have to attribute to hormones - sometimes people in love forget themselves!
Blurting "I love you" in public was ... that's another example of a man courting and losing his head, because that's not normally something a Libra would do. Again, all this is not knowing his planetary placements and all that. Jealousy could happen if he had some Scorpio attributes and big showy sentiments might happen if he had some Leo attributes. But generally Libras are not obnoxious. We don't like wild public displays of anything, whether positive or negative. It embarrasses us when others do it, and we avoid doing it ourselves.
So I think here he may have gone "little boy" and done it to show off and try to assert a claim on you in public and also partly to shake you up and see what you'd do. I'm not saying it was a deliberate plot, by the way, I think he blurted it out without forethought and it just happened. Sometimes people do weird awkward things when overwhelmed with emotion. Don't forget, Libra's don't process their own emotions well. Big emotions may come out in weird ways like suddenly backing out dates we planned and clearly want to have with you or blurting out things inappropriately in public. We may get all insecure and turn gruff to pretend we don't like you when deep down we really wish you'd make a serious move and spare us all the self doubt and angst we're having over you.
Verbal and him suddenly going AWOL on you - that was because he got nervous. We are verbal but remember that we are uncomfortable with our own feelings. We hate, absolutely hate confrontations. If you say "I need to talk to you" or "we need to talk" we get freaked out. We know it's irrational but it gives us heartburn and indigestion and can make us not sleep right for days and tense and unhappy.
No one has ever written this in all my years of reading about Libras, but I honestly believe the number one reason Libras hate confrontation is that we hate uncertainty. If we do not know the actual positive outcome of something (ie, the result of the "weighing of the scales") and the result could go in any/either/some unforeseen direction - we get absolutely, totally, sick to our stomach and into emotional and psychological turmoil. For anything serious that matters to us - what our best friend thinks of us, what our boss is going to decide, whether the person we asked to marry us is going to say yes - we get into a real emotional mess inside if we know the outcome could be bad. You might not see it - but we're a seething mess and can't STAND it. Which is why we absolutely avoid confrontations whenever possible. Even down to lying and saying nothing's wrong.
Note this is only if there's the potential for a bad result. If we know or feel totally comfortable with how something's going to go, we are all smiles.
"Hates sleeping alone" - don't chalk that up to him being loose. Libras really do hate sleeping alone we like having a partner. That doesn't mean we always have one or are needy and have to have one, it just means we are happiest with someone "to complete us." And we feel lonely when that someone isn't there. It feels safe and warm and home with someone we love and in the private intimate world we have behind closed doors, it's the ultimate symbol of trust - asleep next to someone.
You're VERY smart to not get to the bed too fast. Libras are very sensual beings. We're ruled by Venus. We can think with our lower brains and get feelings mixed up. We can also lose interest VERY quickly. We can have our fun and look around and go, oh, ok, no big deal, move on!
Don't presume this means he doesn't have strong feelings for you, just know that - well personally, when a man chases me with his pants I lose respect for him and don't see the relationship going anywhere. A man works differently, but, know that he may very easily romance you in bed then eventually realize hey maybe you don't have enough of a bond or enough in common and you will of course realize you moved into sex too fast.
I stick to my guns here - if this is love, move slow, at a nice steady pace. Save sex for later. Flirt, make out, tease each other, toy with each other, make it clear you intend to have sex one day soon, but don't let him focus on it. Make the two of you focus, as you said, on getting to know one another.
Libras love the playing and teasing, by the way, we like anticipation. You can draw out foreplay for hours we love it. We believe in the big pay off and can drag things out into forever for the sheer pleasure involved in the journey.
I'd be careful of the work thing. A man can use that to "compartmentalize" you. Then you start to feel tawdry after the illicit forbidden flirting in stolen moments wears off with excitement. Then you start to feel used and disrespected.
You can be devious and tell him you want him and would love to have his hands on you but not at work, it doesn't feel appropriate. But that he has to earn touching you in real life. Games like that are exciting, again, as long as he knows you are genuine, he'll play.
WOW thmilin. I will copy and paste this whole thread and keep it. I am on a rollercoaster at the moment. Much respect for you all.
Flowsco think about how for a woman foreplay really starts at the door. In that manor you can see how to play this. We like to be pampered. Have things done without asking. It might be that you need to really think about what you would like to happen before the bedroom. Then you do that for him. We are the biggest romantics alive. So romance him well. The pay off will be worth it.
Flowsco you have gotten a plethora of information that is actually true and unbiased ....you see lady we are about being honest ,fair,supportive and very very loving. Stay Blessed.
As for me my fellow Librans .....you already know what time it is ......I am going to have to learn for myself ; going in with the tools I am equipped with fastened to my hip. However thankyou for your input ...they say scorpios are the most complicated however I beg to differ !!!!
Wishing you the very best in your relationship. Peace and harmony Librasrise.
And to you LibrasLair
Peace and Love always ....because that's just who we are!!! LOL