Cancer man withdrawing on me - I need him HELP!

  • Leoscorpion how are u , u are the best , llindieloo , u see the difference , I love leoscorpion because she gives objective advice and genreally put herself out of the way to try and help you. even if she have to do other research she wuill do it. I know ca she did it for me and she didnt judge me one bit. She is honest and sympathetic at the same time objective.

    just my 2 cents leoscorpion. thats all lol

  • thanks dorluv

    I am just here to share, nothing more

    I remember your story, I hope you stay strong in your attempt to live your life

    whatever decision you make

    bye now take care

  • Sandran712>>>I love Barry White.I listen to his music all the Time.What sign is he?

    •Born: 12 September 1944

    •Birthplace: Galveston, Texas

    •Died: 4 July 2003

    •Best Known As: The singer of "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe

  • sandran

    he is virgo

  • leoscorpion>>sandran

    he is virgo

    That's Good .I am supposed to be compatible with Virgo.In some ways a Virgo shows some traits like a Cancer.

  • @Sandran. Yupp we do. We're just a* nal though. We're aloof and detached, eventhough when cancers do it they're just retreating into their shells. Sometimes we get called emotionally retarded or challenged. Tough being a Virgo. So much expectations to live up to. I'm surprised we're not a hot topic in these forums. I want some glory!!! =D

  • Virgocookie>>We're aloof and detached.

    Sandran712>>I hear a Sag is aloof too.Now..Is a Capricorn aloof and detached?.As they are cold and distant and act callous.Is this like being aloof and detached?

  • Cap is aloof not sure about detached

    but if one doesn't trust much then how can one be attached?

  • @leoscorpion --- Need ur help babe :):) Two charts I'm supposed to do. Now, I cud do them the way I do OR I cud ask you to read them for me (as and when you have time) for I really loved the way you do the same...mentioning 'positives' and 'negatives' of each aspect!! Do you have a website that enables you to do so...I personally have to refer to a lot of books and it takes days...I feel funny asking you...but I don't mind learning :):) Here's the info :

    1. T.O.B. - 9.05 a.m.

    P.O.B. - New Delhi (India)

    D.O.B. - 27th June 1980 This person also wants to know when he's likely to get married and how his married life'd be....

    2. T.O.B. - 11.55 p.m.

    P.O.B.- Dalhousie (India)

    D.O.B.- 24th june 1986

    P.S.- I'm really sorry if I've caused you any inconvenience 😞 Just cudn't help myself...

  • This post is deleted!

  • I will try to do those two but might be tomorrow night

    but if you already find the site you should be able to compile them faster than I can

    bye now

  • Thank You sooo much Lady 🙂 Appreciate 🙂 Take as much time as you want. And hey both of them are males btw :):) God Bless

  • you really need to ask him directly why all of this mucking about, come directly out with it, no one can tell you what he is really thinking and feeling, sometimes in life we have to face issues headon and then look for what we can learn from the situation ourselves for ourselves, what is this telling you about yourself, its a situation that only you and he can come to conclusion with, he sounds like he is confused with heself , he has got the problem not you, unfortunately if it does end then you are the one who has to deal with you, i do wish you all the very best.

  • Thank you guys so much for your replies. I found them very honest and helpful. I will be making individual comments on some of the comments you guys have left for me. I just have not been able to get on to the computer in a private setting to do so. I did check on the advice though over the last week. Thank you so much.

    I must add that I do feel like this Cancer guy is most likely a soul mate and I feel a strong force pulling me toward him and he feels the same thing. When he holds me I feel at peace and thoroughly content. I wasn't looking for this, but I have never felt so pulled and driven toward something before. When I met him I was completely devoted to my life with my family, however, his energy or aura somehow was able to crack my ice exterior and numb existance and reach me. He helped me feel again without even being directly involved in my life before I even got to know him. However, being married is safe and I have one college age child and one six yr old. My marriage is good just robotic and always has been. I settled for a good loyal and predictable man after I lost my first true love and soul mate to death thinking I would never meet another like him until I met this guy. He stirs me on so many levels. Emotion, spiritual, my heart, intellectually and physically. Mostly emotional. How can I throw that away. I have followed others long term posts that have thrown it away only to regret it for years later and stay unfufilled in good marriages...

    This cancer and I continue to cross each others' paths meeting up unexpectedly. It is like things fall into place actually to bring us together.

    Okay so update: He actually has changed things up again.. (many moods I guess)

    He emailed me on Saturday morning first thing and asked when he was seeing me and where.

    This is the first time he has initiated it! I was thinking that must confirm he might have been upset last week when he asked to see me and then I never set up the plans so this time he made sure it was out there... However, he still did not read my emails from the other day at that point... So we met and he told me he is recording a song w/the band that he wrote and he has been extremely busy. I eventually said I would lay off emailing him as I know he is busy and needs some space and he was like, no - don't do that. I told him I get frustrated when I send email after email and don't see him. He said he liked the emails.. So I agreed to send, but just not as much telling him even if he doesn't get one to know I'm thinking of him. He admitted he needed to get better on the emails too. He agreed to send something short rather than nothing at all. He has been doing better. I told him I am falling for him (without using the word love). He said he knows and feels that he is falling in love with me and is crazy about me. I told him I wanted to go to NY with him to the Rockafeller Tree and he said he wanted to do the same and go to the top of the empire state building with me even though he is afraid of heights - if I'm with him he feels he can do it. That is exactly how I feel too - that I can do most things with him that I could never do with anyone else. We talked about the rights and wrongs of the relationship and he said we really can't listen to anyone else as they are not in our position and just don't understand. He then said he believed that some people have known each other in past lifetimes and he thinks they make some kind of a pact to come back and find each other. He left it at that, but said he thought everything would work out between us. He saw signs of that. So very positive stuff. I feel much more secure now. I will be weighing the advantages of leaving my marriage or staying in it. I have not had sex with this man and we want to keep it that way until I am out of the marriage. My husband and I do not sleep together at this point.

    Thanks again everyone and I will be commenting too the many people that took time out to give me advice on here!! Thanks kindly! ❤

  • Flowy

    I just want to comment on what he said about past lives

    Life on the physical is about learning and move forward

    If we haven't learned all that we need to learn in one lifetime, which is impossible

    so we return to the physical world next life time

    this means it is possible that you and your soul mate returns to the same location, or close, in the same life time and it is also possible that you two do not

    only the universe and your spirits (the spirits inside you two) know for sure

    or if you have a psychic you can trust, not scam or telling you what you want to hear

    what is important, when it comes to soul mate, is not about being together again

    each of us has our own lesson to learn, the universe will decide what we are learning

    but whether we want to learn it or not in this life time, is our own choice

    if we don't, well as you guess it, we will have to return and get sent the same lesson again until we learn all that we need to learn

    what I am trying to say is that it is not impossible that his lesson in this life time is nothing about being with his soul mate, and your lesson is the dynamic of marriage, means you may go through unhappy marriage that you need to work on until you are happy in it

    many of us think that meeting your soul mate means you have to be together

    but the truth is the focus is on the soul, means your soul mate can be your best friend

    for spirits can take any physical form they choose to take in any life time

    not necessarily the physical form in that he is a man and you are woman and you two happen to be straight and so you are attracted to each other

    I am not saying you two are not soul mates and you can't be together

    I am saying that you have to consider every possible scenario, that even if you do marry him, doens't mean the marriage will last just because you believe he is your soul mate

    It will still needs working on, because if life is easy what is is there to learn?

    it's true that I don't live a life like yours in this current time, but it isn't impossible that I have in the past and I have lived quite a few, although not all are shown to me because what matters is the lessons, not the whole thing

    To the universe we are all equal, everyone has to learn their lessons regardless what life time

    This is why some of us have been through what others have, or at least carry the experience from past lives within us, that manifest in certain emotions or physical mark we have no idea where we get them from. and when someone mentions their problems, we will somehow know what to do or at least how it feels to be in their shoes.

    I won't post any more comments on this thread. man it's almost weekend already.

  • astrodame

    I'm posting them here. I'm not posting here anything long here anymore.

  • FLOWYAIR, this is an old post, but thought I'd answer anyway. You are being unfair, you are the one in a relationship and he cannot have you all to himself as he would want.

    "Not sure what the outcome will be. What do you guys honestly think. I really want to change my life and be with him within the course of the next year, but I have a lot riding on this including my children’s well being and I’m not sure I can count on him. I need to know if you guys feel he honestly is being sincere with me and wants to be with me too"

    he is not sure what the outcome will be, you are attached to a husband and children! Come on! admit your part in all of this. you need to achknowledge that you are in a mess and you pulled him into it. this is depressing to anyone.

    you have to be honest and lay it all down, tell him this exact paragraph you wrote, which I included above.

    with that said, I am wondering how this all worked out.

    good luck.


  • Hi Kmuse,

    I'm sorry I did not get back to your question sooner. I haven't been on lately.

    I understand what you are saying about my part in this situation alot better now. I will say that he kinda rushed into things with me too though. I was honest with him from the beginning that I was trying to make a decision whether to stay in my marriage or end it. Although I was leaning toward the latter. He immediately started talking about things working out between himself and I. I know he probably did not realize at the time really what he was getting himself into fully, but neither did I.

    Well at the end of the day this is how things have worked out:

    He emailed me a few more times. The stopped emailing me right before Christmas for almost two weeks straight! In the meantime I emailed him every few days and finally on Christmas Day I text messaged him directly and he finally answered me back. (I think he was trying to end things with me that is why he did not answer me during that 12 day period). Anyway, told me he missed me and he had been busy with school finals, work and music and he asked to see me. After he almost canceled on me we did meet up and we talked and hugged. Everything felt so strong emotionally. He made alot of eye contact with me. I gave him some presents and a very heart felt card (although I knew I probably shouldn't have since he was distancing himself from me physically). I cared about him so much I did anyway. He did not give me any gifts as he said he "I went Christmas shopping, but I didn't think to get you anything, it's not like you could wear anything I give you anyway." He also admitted he was distancing himself. He told me next Christmas he was going to see me no matter what - even if it was just for a moment. I then got upset and asked him if he didn't think we would be together by then and he said, "It's not really up to me, it's up to you."

    So I do agree with your point Kmuse that he was just as unsure about his future with me too. As I was the one really that was unavailable afterall. I realize that I should have just worked through my marriage situation and just left him out of it no matter how much I was drawn to him. It was not fair to him. I also realize now that I was not in a happy marriage as I called it above. It was a secure marriage - there is a difference. I realize now I was not getting my emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs met for so long that I had forgotten about them all together. I remembered how I had felt I was settling when I got married and how my wedding day was not the happiest of my life. I had been adapting in my marriage all these years to try and fill in the gaps where necessary - adapting to my husband's needs and wants - however, he was not doing that for me. He had been cold emotionally to my daughter (not his biological daughter he raised since she was 3) for the whole 14 1/2 years he was with me and had alienated her. There were so many things I was not satisfied with in the marriage. I no longer felt alive as I was not truly enjoying my life with him. Intellectually and chemistry wise I don't even think we are compatible. I had bridged his language gap and curbed my own intellectualism in order to communicate with him and it was very depriving for me. Intellectually the entire relationship has been that way. You may ask yourself why did I even get married to him? Well quite simply, we met when I was in a very vulnerable stage and has lost the love of my life to suicide. Luis was stable and I told myself I needed someone - and he needed me too and one thing lead to another and it was convenient. He also had the same high living standards as I did. With Joe though was a true connection there. That is rare. Anyway, I now realize that I have to make things right in my own life and then once I'm free I can then explore and follow my heart. I only hope I'm lucky enough to meet someone again with whom I share such a connection as I did him. I love him.

    Joe and I told each other we loved each other, and seen each other one more time. Then we ran into each other "coincidentally" on New Year's Day. We talked and he emailed me a couple more times then he stopped all contact with me. He wouldn't even read me emails. I did see him looking from his window toward mine and he would stare at me if he seen me from afar. He did hold eye contact with me and smiled and waved two months later, but he did meet someone else at his job and he has since moved in with her.

    In the meantime, I'm still working on my own life. I keep in touch with a few people from this sight who are very special to me. It has been a tough, but life changing event in my life.

    Thanks for your interest in my story. Take care Kmuse. 🙂

  • Flowyair,

    you brought me to tears with your letter.

    I am sorry about all oif your trials. If a man is not good to your child and you, then you MUST leave, it is not healthy for your child's love power within her.

    As for your cancer man. (why do they always find love at work, it annoys me!). It seems as though you would be together if you left your husband.

    Any sign of that happening? I realize this is an old post, I thought I would read a happily ever after story, if you are NOT in love with your husband and he is emotionally not there, you need to do what is best fro you and your child, and go find your cancer man. His heart probably still aches fro you.

    I wish I knew if mine does.

    let's keep in touch.

    God Bless You and may he help you make the right decision fro you and your daugther.

    xo, KK

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