Mothers Health



  • Hi, I understand that the Divine only gives what we can handle,but here lately I have begun to question. Over a year ago we lost my Father and now my Mothers health is not the best. I am wondering if she is missing Dad or just entering a new stage in her health? Her Mother had dementia and I was not near when she started to fail. I am wanting to bring my sisters togahter and check out options for may be next. Am I jumping the gun? Any thoughts or insights are welcome.

    Thank you and may you be blessed



  • Dearest Cleric, it is common for a spouse to pass on within 6 months to I think 1-2 yrs

    ma not saying this is exactly what is happening but you cannot go wrong in looking at options, may wish to check with your Mothers Dr, to see what stage your Mother is in, you are not jumping the gun, it seems as though you are following your heart and soul.

    I am a hospice nurse, so it us with this experience that I am sharing with you

    wish you Blessings and Peace



  • Thank you. I am truly grateful for this website. Goldenhill, I am a C.N.A./C.M.A. and was thinking of going into Hospice. Do you think I would be better to wait or try to get my foot in the door now? Sorry if this puts you in a bind. If it has please say so and I will ask others

    Thank you and blessing



  • cleric two years ago I was called to go and straighten out a mess my dad had gotten himself into with a woman. I had no idea of the dementia until I got there. They already had him on medication but he had gotten very stressed over problems with this woman and it seemed to add to this problem. Well I had already dealt with my husbands grandmother who had Alzheimer and wasn't completely in the dark now as I was a few years ago. I went with him to his doctor and sat as she tested him. She seemed to think that it was still ok to allow him to drive and live alone and she did increase his meds and it did help to improve his memory plus I got rid of the woman. I hired another caregiver and split the shift to make sure that they were there when he needed to eat and take his meds. But that was his situation and he doesn't want to leave Calif. and come to live with me. So I am trying not to add to his condition by fighting him. Plus it's even better on my high blood pressure to allow him to be on his own as long as possible. When the time comes he will go into a place still in the town that he has lived in for twenty some years and he is very lonely so he hits on women all the time. And that's how he ended up with a woman he moved into his home that was a year younger than myself. And my dad is 28 yrs. older than me. It was a real shock to have your own father come out of the bathroom as bare as he was at birth grinning like a Cheshire cat. I never saw my dad unless he was completely dresses. I really didn't know how to handle that and if looks could kill all I could do was give him that look and walk into the kitchen. Not being in the medical field didn't prepare me for my dad. Just knowing I could call his doctor and give reports on what the caregiver told me helped us all.



  • Cleric, No need to wait, since you hav been drawn to reach out for hospice services, perhaps you may wish to consider this option... May be best to start with your mothers Dr.

    So can have Hospice come out to do an eval...

    Best to you...



  • I hear the name Bill speaking up for you. This is a hard one. Your mother is suffering on several levels. The grief process alone has any one at any age behaving crazy. Your mothers world has been shattered. Regardless of the good or bad of a relationship what really keeps most people humming is the daily familiarity of each day. It's harder at her age to see some brand new life. She feels lost and isolated----the more disconnected she becomes the more her symtoms will have you worrying about the possibilities. Has she lost interest in the things that used to give her joy? Depression and a hopelessness can also invite illness. There are so many things working against her right now. The first two years are the most confusing. She needs to be evaluated by a doctor and a Geriatric Psychiatrist. This will help take some stress off your back as you need to tend to your own health as well. You need to be more gentle with your back. You tgather all your pain there. There will be a time of worry and wondering but in the end I see your mother wearing a peaceful smile.



  • Thank you for your insight and experiences. That does give me something to work with and a place to start. Working in the health care field you really do not see it when it comes to your own family.

    May you be blessed and have a great year ahead of you.



  • Goldenhill I was wondering if I should enter Hospice to work for them. I'm sorry if I confused you.

    Thank you again for your help

    May you be blessed this coming new year



  • Hi Blmoon , You have a idea of me with just that little bit of news. Yes I do carry all of the stress and hurt in my back. I'm not sure who Bill is but I will give the name thought. I never thought of a Geriatic Psychiatrist, you have given me something to ask her Dr. about.

    Thank you so much for this information.

    May you be blessed this coming new year.



  • Cleric, please forgive me if I overstepped do to my misunderstanding. : (

    Re: you getting into hospice, it definitely is "a calling" and if you are drawn to it, why not go for it, I don't know of Any Cna in it that have left unless to further their educ

    they seem to love it! Good luck to you!



  • Cleric my heart goes out to you in this time & i hope you find the support you need from your sisters. My mother works with the elderly, which i really admire & we've had our own share of family illnesses. Togetherness is truly best in a time like this, & from my experience, to keep yourself cared for too is a must...I hope you find the best care for her. Best wishes to you XXXX

    "Our souls sore and carry on throughout, pain suffering & doubt. For in the soul is light, that will continue."



  • Thank you. If it was not for this web site I feel I would really be lost . Every one who has answered my questions have given me something to think about and confirmed some of my thoughts and feelings. I pray that every one connected to this site from the bottom to the top will be truely blessed in the coming new year.



  • Forgiveness granted but I felt I may have confused you. I ask forgiveness. I did pick up an application for the Hospice near me. I may be working in the state capital or in homes near the small town I live in. Blessings



  • Cleric, are you going to be working for a hospice???? If so good for you!!!!



  • Cleric, that's a vocation. I'm happy you are on the up. You deserve it, truly XXXX



  • Thank you again I can not say enough about this great site. I am so happy that a good friend told me about it. I ask that you may be blessed this coming year.



  • Working on the app. and should get it out no later then 19 Dec.

    May you be blessed this coming year



  • Cleric, may all that is good be yours today and always...


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