Compatibility analysis

  • The Captain,

    Can you pls Feb. 16, 1975 and Jan. 19, 1988 I'm very confused Nd I know that he is almost the same of the other guy that I used to go out . I just need more vibes thak you .

  • Crazyhmm, the signs are not good for a love relationship of equals here. Although you both want the same thing - to find a place/home where you can feel safe, secure, protected and adored, somewhere you can truly be accepted as yourself - you will look for it in different ways.

    You Crazyhmm can become desperate trying to find the perfect job or relationship. Because of this, you may sometimes encounter difficulty feeling stable or committed to a person or job. Commitment can frighten you, because to you it means forever, but you are just never sure you've found the perfect one. You say "I love you" but inside you don't know if you're really telling the truth because you aren't sure if you love enough - you aren't even sure how you feel, because you've only learned how you are 'supposed to feel'. It takes time for you to contact and accept your genuine feelings, both good and bad. Because of your gregarious nature, you can make enjoyable company when you are in a positive mood. Concerned and conscientious, you give that extra effort. Your high standards render you an enthusiastic, skillful lover who usually gives more than she takes, so you need to learn to find a balance of giving and receiving and put more emphasis on vulnerability than on performance. You also feel a big responsibility to take care of others who cannot take care of themselves, perhaps owing to issues and fears of abandonment and your own anger at not being cared for enough when young. Feelings of loneliness drive you to seek out those you can look after as you were not looked after and you end up being the parent, instead of the lover.

    Your ex on the other hand has been conditioned to think that an entire community is his family and that, if someone wants to be with him, they must be accepted by and accept his whole family into the relationship. He values and seeks a relationship with others because he lacks a sense of relationship with himself, being raised to think of the needs of a large number of people rather than just himself. While he does have a sentimental side, he tends to focus his creative energies in his mind, which inhibits his emotional expression. Thus, he represses or intellectualizes his feelings. Emotional inhibition, or the apparent absence of emotions, affects his relationships. He needs and appreciates many friends and family to be there for him as a source of support, but he often gets caught in the double bind of seeking relationship while simultaneously trying to assert his own independence. Many people find him attractive due to his large and stimulating energy field. However when he feels insecure and inhibited, he will have problems with relationships. He can also be too busy working or being creative to have time for a relationship. His combination of loyalty, insecurity (needing a sense of connection) and an independent streak makes for a complex love life. His need for sexual contact (which comes from an insecurity about how attractive he is) sees him get involved with unsuitable partners. He also fears abandonment and wants to be nurtured by someone who will be his parent but also take care of him financially or sexually.

    As you can see, this was more like a parent-child relationship than one of two equal partners.

  • Annielan, this very natural relationship specializes in the easy expression of imaginative thoughts and ideas. Both of you lead a large inner life but, even if you or your partner is content with merely having fantasies, the other person is sure to draw them out, often simply through curiosity. Then, acting out these fantasies can become the relationship's specialty. You two often will love to dress up for parties and other events, or even to perform theatre within the privacy of your own homes. This is not really exhibitionism and certainly not a manifestation of asocial tendencies, but rather the pure expression of delight in play-acting, theatre and make-believe. Living in an easy and youthful world of enchantment, much as children do when caught up in fairy tales, can become your trademark as a couple.

    Your love affair will usually be more romantic than physical, more fantastic than earthy. As lovers, the two of you come to live on another plane, one that you share only with each other. Confiding the most intimate childhood secrets, and playing games that many adults would be ashamed of, often become commonplace actitivites here. You two may have little interest in TV or the movies, for you usually furnish your own entertainment. Should you marry, your union won't get much understanding from other people, including your own children if you have them. Growing old together in a family environment while persisting in youthful and imaginative activities may cause some amusement, or even serious worries that you two have gone ga-ga. As long as you don't neglect reality completely (like earning a living and paying the bills), this can be a very happy and compatible matchup.

    I'm not sure why you think this guy is like the other one?

  • The Captain,

    Thank you very much, I was really surprised , I honestly thinking not to be in touch with this guy. I meet him last year and I can say his literally save my life those were the days. I was crazy inlove with this cancer man and I had no one to share that time cos my friends giving me a lesson not to entertain me if, I was started talking about this cancer man obviously I had no choice but this young man. It was October or November last year he was totally drunk and for some reason his talking to me and I wasn't interested cos his younger than me our ages gap is 13yo.His friend keep calling me and annoying me and his asking my mobile no. but I never give my number instead, I get his number this February I was bored and I had no one to talk about cancer man I opened to him every single details. I was told that he do really likes me and his willing to be there for me. I was crazy even early in the morning I will send him messages to tell what happening till cancer man I was told by him that I'm an idiot if I will go back to him. We get along and communication is open and we had intimate relationship with respect,courtesy , and friendship. I don't really know what happen we both acting like were having relationship. We had fights cos he working too much and always away from work and I don't really know why I can demand on him that he doesn't have time to catch up.His working 14 to 16 hrs and I'm really worried but I was told that his job is his priority and that's why he doesn't wanna catch up cos I was totally upset when he will tell me that he need to cancel me.He said that as much as he want to spend time and sleep over at my place he cant due to work.That;s why he doesn't want a full time relationship and I am asking for that. I find him selfish and no emotional feelings if his job is always our problem that sometimes I am expecting him to be at my place in an hour and if i message him his still at work and boss doesn't wanna let him out and I hated him and telling that he had no respect,courtesy to me cos if i didn't called up he wouldn't say anything . So far he never once raising his voice or verbally arguing with me and never once swear to me.I am really confused and I find him selfish cos he doesn't want to commit but we do almost the same. I said that his using me for pleasure and he disagree with that and he said he never once seeing me like a sex object and he said to me that as long as we both happy why can't we stick with that. I am worried cos our arrangement is only in his time and I said to him if he want to leave he can easily doing that to me. Last Friday all day we argue and in any angle of our argue I can easily explain why I am getting mad which his getting stress if he see me upset.I am so mad cos every time he visited me always rushing we never had so much communication for sometimes we keep txting while his at work and always telling to stop messaging but he keep answering my demand,Its been two month we never saw each other before I went to holiday he promise that he will gonna come down to visit me till I left never hear from him. Untill he sending me messages while I am overseas and telling what I am doing so silly,I asked him its best for us if we stopped seeing each other cos he drive me nuts and he said I need to understand that if his distant due to his work and can even talk to me cos his work is physical and working on different time.Last Friday he acting so strange and I couldn't even bother appreciate his present cos his rushing again need to supervise some work and the way his touching me I felt bad and totally different which I was told that he missing me so much. I knew it but I don't feel alright. He had no idea that want him to be away from me.I am getting suspicious and don't want to hurt anyone feelings that he might have girlfriend or flirting with someone .I am not happy cos he doesn't really showing his emotion and just be normal that the only thing that he always wanted is to stare on me and its a bit annoying. I don't really know if I continue seeing him. I am getting mentally draining for sometimes I am waiting for no one cos he stayed back at work. We do like dress and I guess I am spending much more that he is cos I am a lady,I guess his a nice person but unemotional person and I was worried if he doesn't showing me affection. His sweet if we spend time together yeah watching tele or movie while eating together. I read some traits of Capricorn I need to be patient to him they are slow mover late to commit and and i have no time. What should I do even my friends can his playing mind game and i felt the same sometimes. And he said he never once playing mind game hand talking shit to me.


    I do like him but I can't see any emotional feelings to him and untill when I will wait when I get old and had stick on my left hand . I know some how his showing me sign and much more his unemotional feelings. I want your guidance The Captain if I shall leave or giving me another chance but I honestly i see myself on his on time and that is unfair to me. Thanks so much and more blessing to come

  • Annielan, you cannot expect to get full time 24/7 attention from anyone - you have to learn to love yourself so that you aren't so desperate to get it from others. You are being the overly demanding and emotionally dependent one here. Your friend has been nothing but honest and kind to you - he told you he wanted to focus on his work - if he is a young man trying to build up his career, that's quite understandable. Your fears and old issues are making you throw away a relationship that could suit you perfectly. Stop being so demanding - you are the selfish one here, not your friend. Maybe you are just not used to a partner who treats you well, so you are wrongly suspicious of this guy.

  • Thank you again The Captain I will do m very best to make the most out of it. I guess your right I always wanted someone to talk and always on my side and he can't cos his working hard and he wanted to retired early for work that's why his doing that . I only worried about his health his loosing weight and as I can see he had no time for his self. Yeah so true I always worried cos I had bad experience on my past and it's about time to let go and accept the reality now.I'm being so unfair to him but I said to him he really needs a break sometimes and it's not for me for his self. He used to tell me the he do missed me obviously so do I . I'm a bit harsh to him and my choice of words it's kind silly I really dunno if I hurt his feelings cis he never said anything to Mehed just smile and telling he had no time for his self things that I'm so upset and worry much . And yes I never felt like this before I always had a right on what I'm trying to get for him respect , courtesy and most of all he shown that I'm a part of him. I always teasing him that I do like Jim and I choose him before cos his well groom and always smells good and now he had no time for that. He never smoke cigarette and he knew that I don't really wanted the bad smell. he only do that when he was stress at work and to me. I earn Ed respect to this guy I would love to keep him . Thank you so much for clearing my dirty mind over him. I hope it will turn in to positive ways and end up with what I'm longing for so long . More blessings and be safe always kisses

  • Hi there. I seem to be in a very confusing relationship right now. I need help understanding whats going on, or if we are even meant to be together. My birthday is Oct. 10, 1968 and his is April 17, 1972. I chased him for sooo long, and we've had a very close and passionate relationship before, but I feel like he's just not interested in me anymore. He says he is, but his actions seem to tell me he isn't. Please if you can give me some advice or insight?

  • MamaBarker, although your relationship will be unstable and rocky, it can go on for a long period of time as you both focus on your worldly goals. More than most, this relationship will concern itself with the 'real' world, and with ambition. Yet for the relationship to last, it must focus on understanding the subjective personal world of this matchup, and of your own and your partner's inner lives. As a team, ironically, you two may have a good understanding of the psychology of other human beings and of society in general, but within the relationship unreality is likely to be a big problem. Both of you are prone to having problematic love affairs, since you both usually lack a clear idea of either yourself or your partner - in your relationship with each other, this trait is magnified.

    On the plus side, you Mama are fun to be with and can help your partner take his mind off more serious matters. For his part, he can provide the security and confidence that you desire. On the down side, this relationship can swallow up its participants' individuality, making separations and breakups very difficult and painful. You Mama can become very dependent on your more independent partner. But at some point one (usually the Aries who has the more adventurous and rebellious nature) will feel stuck and will move away from the other in an attempt to regain their lost self. When this happens, the relationship will never be quite the same again.

  • 'For us things started getting different when I recently got pregnant with his baby. He didn't want me to have it because of our financial situation and started pulling away from me emotionally when I wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. I on the otherhand wanted very much to have his child and was thrilled at first when I found out I was pregnant. Especially since I didn't even think at my age that I could or would have another baby! Sadly the pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and we havent been able to really reconnect ever since. I hardly ever see him but maybe once a week or so, but he makes it sound like he was just over here and I'm being too demanding of his time. I have wanted to make a life with this man for a few years now and now though every thing seems so uncertain. I just don't like this feeling of uncertainty and I find myself feeling very insecure lately!

  • Dear Captain, if I may ask for another analysis. I don't know what to make of this relationship or in which direction it is going (I do know where I want to attempt to take it though) so any input is valuable for me.

    My DOB: October 10. 1984.

    pother person DOB: December 27. 1989.

  • My bad, that's December 27. 1988. for the other person 🙂

  • Howlingmoon, the greatest challenge in this relationship is for the two of you to overcome a tendency to be uncommunicative. Should this block be great enough, it's unlikely the relationship will even get off the ground. Assuming that it does, however, considerable energy will have to be expended to keep the lines of communication open and operable. At heart, your

    friend may not really approve of you, seeing you as a social and thus superficial creature - not someone to be taken seriously. Moreover, since you are likely to do what feels good and are not particularly bound by society's standards for moral behaviour, your friend may condemn you as eccentric. And you will not enjoy many aspects of a relationship that is uptight and judgmental, so the prospects of a love match here are not good.

    Should you be physically attracted to each other, your relationship may still not go far beyond the early stages for the above reasons. Marriage can result only if your friend can be convinced of the seriousness of your intentions. In reality, he might benefit substantially from your social savvy, while you could profit from his financial and practical acumen. The relationship may supply both of you with a great deal of what you need, even if it's not exactly what you want. This matchup will only work if you both can strive hard for greater acceptance of each other and a lessening of judgmental attitudes. Utilize your differences - don't become irritated and frustrated by them.

  • Hi Captain, can I pls have compatability analysis.

    Me : 3 Jan 1968

    Him: 29 March 1963

    Thanks for your time.

  • Fanofkmm, this relationship can work as a very modern marriage - independent and career-focused, free from the responsibilities of having children, pets or demanding domestic duties. It can exhibit both highly introverted and extroverted tendencies, with great pains taken to hide certain issues, only to bring them unexpectedly and flamboyantly to light one day. Preoccupations with money and power may overshadow more personal matters, which are constantly relegated to second or even third place. A lack of empathy may forestall the emotional understanding needed when moods dictate withdrawal from the world. To escape or even deny the realization that something is missing, quiet depression may alternate with outgoing enthusiasm. Both of these moods would avoid the problem at hand, and also keep the world from finding out much about what is really going on in the relationship.

    You Fanofkmm will constantly be irritated by what you see as your partner's unrealistic choices in business associates or favoured family members - this although you can be as naive as he, just in other areas of your life. He for his part will see as your attitudes as oppressive, and will find little or no need to reform. Should your ambition or his social extroversion get out of hand, each of you may view the other as immoral or selfish and may be strongly disapproving. As spouses, you may put your careers or work first and will discuss not having children together or taking on too much domestic responsibility. This independent modern marriage can work out as long as the scrutiny, judgment or disapproval of either partner doesn't become a factor, and as long as neither of you needs constant emotional reinforcement or attention. This relationship is perhaps better kept light and fun, since the time, strength or interest in establishing a firm connection is not usually forthcoming here. This can be a practical, effective, and social relationship but, if it is deep abiding love and understanding you are hoping for, you won't find it here.

  • Thanks Captain, you confirmed my thoughts exactly.

    keep well


  • Hi Captain, there is this man who has been flirtatious with me, not sure if he is serious or just a playful flirtation. We have known each other for a few years (live in different sates) but his flirtation seems more serious these days and he seems to be having jealousy over my attraction to a different, Man. I find him charming in some ways, but feel both attracted and aversion to him at the same time. Weird. Me 10 March 1966, him 11 Sept. 1952. Thanks for the reading.

  • You could please give me an analyzing on my relationship...

    Female: Jan 31, 1984

    Male: March 8, 1988

    Thank you so much

  • Leslye, this is a difficult relationship for love. However, the innate sympathy between you, combined with your open kind of communication, can lead to the pursuit of challenging goals and far-reaching thoughts and ideas. As a pair, you can enjoy exploring areas beyond ordinary limitations and in fact have a tendency to get carried away. Your friend will use every bit of his self-control to keep the relationship grounded, while you are trying at the same time to make it ideal and fanciful. Highly inspirational, this matchup can overcome substantial odds in its battle against daunting outside forces but may have trouble with its own internal conflicts.

    As a lover, your friend will generally be sensitive to your need to spend time alone. He will certainly want attention at some point, having needs of his own, but periodic expressions of love and sympathy from you will go a long way towards satisfying him. In marriage, the relationship may encounter a chronic health problem in one spouse, which will demand extreme loyalty, patience and understanding from the other spouse. Should this difficulty be overcome, it will often deepen and broaden the bond. The two of you demand challenge and in daring to fail, you may achieve high goals that few other people could reach. Your particular forte together is taking calculated risks, but knowing where to stop will be important. You both like adventure and are likely to travel together to distant lands or to seek out somewhat dangerous activities that spur you on to give your all. Make sure the risks you take are always prudent, and that you two understand that moderation is not a dirty word. Don't always choose the most difficult path.

    What your friend wants most is to be in love: to be adored and share his life with someone who returns his passion. In order to do this, he must lose his need to order his world and learn to go with the flow more often, to receive love naturally and not try to force it, to let life with its perfect timing bring him someone who will recognise and adore him. He must also lose his deep need for others' approval and thinking that if he has their blessing, his life must be on the right track. It can lead him into a bottomless pit of never getting enough approval to feel satisfied or to feel free to be himself. He can get obsessed with chasing gratification and personal validation in all the wrong places (where any pretty girl with long eyelashes who promises eternal adoration can seduce him) to the point where it damages his health and mind and stops him being productive and successful. He must free himself from dangerous escapist fantasies if he ever wants to find real lasting love.

    What you really want Leslye is to merge with someone else's energy and feel mutual empowerment and total, permanent commitment. You want a partner you can count on to take care of all your emotional needs and you will take care of his material needs (or vice versa). To do this, you must be discriminating and choose someone with similar energy and values to you with whom you can form a successful partnership. But of course you have to know what your goals and values are first. You must also be careful not to seek your self-worth through others which can lead you into a neverending search for a soulmate. You must find completeness in yourself - it will never come as a by-product of a relationship, even with a soulmate. Living according to standards that are right for you, regardless of what others think, will help you to develop a sense of self-worth. You also must lose any fear of being cheated on and lied to, to the point where you don't believe anything or anyone and could become faithless yourself because of it. You may also fear being sexually controlled or psychologically dominated.

  • Hey captain I know you read me a romatic compatibility reading awhile ago but I messed up i found out his birthdate is June 23 - 1978 instead of june 23 - 1979 anyway I don't know how much of a difference this makes but if ifdoes could you please recalculate this for me my birthdate is Febuary 20 - 1991 his June 23 - 1978 thankyou again much appreciated. !

  • Aquajanbabe, the focus of this relationship is a responsiveness to each other's needs. But although you two may be quite aware of what each of you needs, you are not always sure of what you want. The result is that you have difficulty making strong, sensible decisions and definite choices. This problem may be related to a certain lack of desire in the relationship. Neither of you has a lot of objections to most of your shared activities, but neither has much yearning for them, either. Thus you can live or work together in quite a satisfied state for years without ever really making strong demands on each other, or on your relationship. Although happiness should not be sneered at, in this case there is often a feeling that something vital is missing.

    A love affair here can be affectionate in some respects, quite cool in others, but it is rarely passionate. Whether overt or covert, it can last for years without having to face a serious crisis. Marriage too can be mutually satisfying, yet also somewhat uneventful. Your children will benefit from the relationship's stability but might find it a bit uninspiring. Your partner doesn't have much faith in his ability to manage on his own and wants someone more sober than he is to stabilize him, but you are not the most grounded of people and you would hate anyone to become too dependent on you. His compulsive need for order may not sit well with you. You both like to be right but you want to be spontaneous too and won't enjoy a too ordered lifestyle.

    What is it that you really want? Is this really love or just a good friendship? Are you feeling restless and rebellious, afraid of losing your independence? Dig deep to find your heart's desire. Be more demanding of the relationship and less easily satisfied. Without challenges, no relationship can grow or progress. Liven up your lives a bit or else this relationship will become too bland and dull.

Log in to reply