TheCaptain, marriage silence. help!!!

  • My husband and I just brought a beautiful baby boy into the world and after about the first week of having our new son my husband has seemed very closed off to me. He wont really communicate with me about anything personal. He was like that when we first got married and now he seems to be falling into himself. Are recent events just overwhelming to him or are we growing apart?

    My birthday is April 27, 1990 and his birthday is April 22, 1987.

  • Your relationship will tend to be intense, private and conflicted. The safest way to make this marriage work is by keeping focused on a home base where you two will be capable of sharing a private, dependable and secure relationship. Although comfortable, your relationship can suffer from a lack of deep emotion coupled with occasional irritation and miscommunication. Your partner likes to be the boss in making the larger more strategic decisions, particularly with finances or in matters of design or taste, while you are happy supervising the day-to-day running of things. Your mutual capacity for stubbornness can be divisive, however, so you must both learn to give in. You two will have few surprises between you and will find the security of knowing exactly what to expect quite comforting, though sometimes a little dull. A child will change all that, for a baby is an unpredictable and disruptive factor.

    Domestic harmony is quite possible in this relationship as long as it is just the two of you. If a third party intrudes, even a child, your partner can feel shut out and cut off from all that attention of yours he once had so exclusively. He was once your whole world and now he is second in line. This is not what he expected. Babies are demanding and they cry a lot, disurbing the peace. You need to sit him down and talk with him so that you can bring the new addition into your lives without your husband feeling his comfortable life has been disrupted or thrown into chaos by a poo-making 'stranger'. Make him part of the baby's care as much as possible so that he can bond with his son. Love can work wonders.

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