I'm new here and need some guidance please

  • I met this guy online over six months ago. We talk every day and get along very well. My birthday is 1/18/73, his is 12/28/65. I was hoping someone could tell me if they see this relationship going anywhere. I appreciate anyone's insight into this. If more information is needed, please let me know. Thank you so much!

  • Hi, Can you develop a friendship with this person. I believe that's the question. It's hard to lose a true friend--the rest will come.

  • i see that both of you have over come some past fears about love. i don't see this as one sided, i feel that both of you feel the same way about each other. i see happiness for both of you. my advise to you is not to try to rush this. let it happen as it was ment to be. get to know each other.

  • Thank you both for your responses, Dalia and enne. He and I have become very good friends. I feel as if I can talk to him about anything, and he says that I know him better than do friends he has known his entire life.

    Thank you, enne, for the advice. You're right, I have tried to rush things, but I've lately tried to make a conscious effort to have patience.....though it's not always easy. lol For the first time ever, I feel in my heart that this is right. I don't have the underlying anxiety and suspicion that I've had in past relationships.

    Thanks again to both of you for taking the time to respond.

  • you're welcome! you'll have to keep me updated on how things work out!

  • I have one more question. He and I have yet to meet in person. I wonder if anyone of you sees if or when this may happen? There have been massive layoffs at his job and he is afraid he may be the next to go. This is the primary reason we haven't met in person yet. If I had some idea that we will eventually see each other, that would go a long way in helping me to have more patience. 🙂

    Thank you!

  • i feel that you have to keep things in perceptive. meaning taht there might be exterior reasons why you haven't met yet. i.e. money issues, time off work, bad timing... be careful not to be dependant on meeting him. it could cause a lack of direction on your part. but i do seeing you meeting, but i feel like it will be more like a friendship.

  • Thank you, enne. You're right, I was too dependent on meeting him for awhile and was miserable. I've come to terms with the fact that it may not happen for a long time, no matter how much he says he wants to. After all, actions do speak louder than words. I believe we're both victims of bad timing. I also believe there is some fear on his part, because he's had his heart broken in the past. But hey, who hasn't? 🙂 Thanks again for your time.

  • you are so right! lol it's just how we handle the heartbreak that matters. he's not dealing with it, he's surpressing it. soon or later he will come out of it completely. and beleive it or not i'm in the same situation, but the guy asked to meet up, and shortly after HE ASKED, he quit talking to me. that sucked. so now i have no idea if we will meet & if we do, i'm gonna make it a friendly meeting. no romance... lol good luck dear...

  • I'm sorry you're going through the same thing. I think a lot of guys are afraid of their feelings and their instinct is to run when they get too emotionally involved. They aren't as emotionally evolved us we women are. lol I believe you're right about my guy suppressing his heartbreak, even though he swears he's over it. He was on again, off again for years with this woman who cheated on him while his dad was dying, a time when he needed her the most. This happened 10 years ago and since that time he continued to go back to her, thinking he could put her betrayal behind him, but of course he never could. So that has definitely had an effect on how he handles relationships. I hope your situation works out for the best. You're probably very smart to make it a friendship rather than a romantic relationship.lol Less chance of getting hurt that way.

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