During a past nightmare i awoke and heard....



  • Hi! I am new here and would first like to say hello to everyone. I have a question for someone with experience with dream type things. 6 years ago i had a nightmare that i will never be able to dismiss. It was shortly after the recent sudden death of my ex fiance. We were together for 4 years on & off before i finally cut contact with him. He was very abusive mentally & phsycially and controlling of me. During this nightmare I was at my great aunts home. A girl who i attended high school with was talking to me asking me how i was doing since the accident, I told her i was ok and that we hadn't been together in a year or two before his death. Then she ask me if he talked to me and i said no what do you mean? she said does he speak to you like this and she put both hands on my shoulders and suddenly I felt a shock like surge in the dream only. Then i heard this moaning like awful sound i can't even explain right now i have chills just typing it! It was like OOOOOHHHH! Like someone in shear misery groaning in despair. . Then I woke up and i was awake i know so because i saw the kitchen light on and i remember seeing the light on and still hearing the "moan" as i was sitting up in bed and seeing the light on. The light has nothing to do with it other than to say I know i was awake already when i was still hearing the sound.. What the heck was that?



  • Your great aunt's home represents your higher self (speaking to you in your dream)--the girl from your past also represents a part of you. The you before the abusive relationship.This is comman to dream of other woman when we are really hearing from other aspects of our selves. The shear misery and highly electric groan was very real--that is your ex. How tragic! The abuse inflicted on others by him was his own pain. He was really mentally ill--though people don't recognize it always because it seems the person can be otherwise funtioning and sometimes very normal. He had a brain chemistry disorder--manic depression or as they say now, bi-polar. It includes intense misfiring of electricity in the brain--he wanted you to FEEL that bolt of lightening, his pain that drove him to violent thoughts and outbursts. People with this disorder often self medicate to stop the intense rapid cycling going on in their heads (drinking and drugs)-- or they need an explosion for relief. They often consume themselves and others with obsessive behaviours to take their mind off the racing thoughts in their heads. They spend money they don't have, gamble too much and can be promiscuios .He so wanted you to know how really ill he was and was very sorry for the pain he inflicted on you. Actually jolting you like that was the only way he thought you'd understand---he was saying feel this? Feel my pain/? He says it had nothing to do with you at all --you were the sweet young thing he fell in love with (his words) and he regrets that he took your innocense and wishes you could go back to the girl you once were. He never meant to scar you. And at the time he was hoping if you knew that you would heal faster and become stronger.



  • Also, if it's any consolance, I had a dream where my neighbors cat was reaching out to me, in the dream, he was dead, and was talking to me. anyway, he reached out to me and said, "DANGER!"

    Nothing terribly catastrophic happened. He was warning me of the relationship I was in. I was in danger of losing my light. I didn't know it at the time, and was scared out of my wits, but Spirit just wanted to get my attention.



  • Hi, It's an indication that his soul is not in a good place. Wherever he's at he needs your continual prayer. Please use this opportunity to help him. I've often wondered about the souls of abusive people. They need our help here, no doubt.



  • OMG!!! Blmoon! How did you know this? Did he speak to you? What you told me is so real on so many levels it frightens me a bit. I was a little overwhelmed at first and couldn't even reply. I almost cried after so long ago. I knew something was up with mental illness with him but then wasn't sure what. he never got the proper treatment which is tragic. in 06 i had a breakdown of sorts and ended up in the "crazy house" as i say, I developed depression within a year of being in that relationship, although it runs in my family too, i can't help but wonder if it is related to him in some way. after my stay in hospital they diagnosed me with bipolar major depressive, anxiety and panic disorder, nightmares, & PTSD. I always wanted to help him but didn't know how & got caught up in the whole thing. I have never visited his gravesite my dr suggested i write him a letter telling him how i felt and when i even thought about it that is when i ended up at the hospital without ever even a single word on paper, what do you think i should do? should i go there for closure? I still have dreams that he is alive all the time.



  • fairyjay, I know you didn't ask for my help with this one, but I have some information that may help you, based on another past experience of my own. I hope you don't find this intrusive.

    here goes. I kept dreaming of someone from my past, after 25 years. I was wondering, why am I dreaming about him now? That was over a long time ago. I was doing a healing session with someone, and decided to do some healing of my own, and Spirit let me know that I had issues I needed to forgive him for. That was a shock to me, but it began to make itself known in this healing session, and when it was all over, I was healed from the emotional pain and loss, had forgiven him for his part in it, and have not dreamt of him since then.

    Maybe spirit is trying to tell you that you have places within yourself that harbor trauma regarding him, and it is time to heal.

    I hope this helps. My apologies if I'm being intrusive.

    Susan



  • Absolutely no apologies necessary Susan. I ask for anyones help and i think you advice is beneficial to me. It is so true as i have said that i forgave him but there are still things that i cling on to that i need to let go. Can you tell me how you went about your forgiving process? I guess i thought he would live forever so that i could hate him but be as it may that isn't an option and ive long since acknowledged that fact but there is still a part of me that is broken what is your suggestion?



  • The trauma you had with him did trigger your own episode--he did not cause it though. As you know each person is different with the severity of symptons--this mental illness comes and goes with episodes but is for life--no cure, just management and there are triggers--one is trauma or stress. You were attracted to him on two levels karma and nurture as he is something like the crazy you grew up around. My message for you does come from his spirit. He speaks to you as well as others that guide you. You both had karma together and your time together was fate. I'm sure beneath all the pain you had much to learn from each other. He has stayed extra close because up until now he felt you really didn't see the truth and the truth will help set you free. You have two polar oppisite emotions still battleing inside you silently--guilt and rage--he wants you to give them a "voice" he says listen to the shrink and SPEAK UP. It is time for you to heal.



  • I have never blamed him for my own sickness really. I developed anorexia at first within a year of the relationship along with depression. I have since learned that the eating disorder was a control issue for me. I couldn't control him at the time he & my parents both were trying to control me and to eat or not was all i could control.

    I agree totally that it was fate that brought us together. I know it esp. now because my brother is in a similar situation and i know what advice to give him. Not just that though, Our relationship made me who i am today and i know that i made me a better person. I was raised kind of sheltered no even much shouting in my family but i experienced real life early on and it has braced me for things that ive faced since then.

    Ive always been scared to death that i might see him in some way spirit or whatever. I only have the dream to based my opinion on and ive always been open to the possiblility of ghosts but have never saw anything. Ive had premonitions sort of and bad feelings though. I believe that God can work in any means necessary to get your attention when need be. I feel relieved of a part of me that i didn't even know still existed. Thank you for your insight.



  • blmoon, how did you get his message? If you don't mind to tell me. Did you hear him or feel or see? Sorry if that is improper to ask I am just amazed by this.thanks so much for your help!



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  • Thanks so much Susan! I will email you as quick as i can!



  • susan did you receive my email? Just wanted to know it made it to you. No hurry on anything at all. I appreciate your help very much.



  • Your message came to me both in his words and in pictures. I am a psychic medium. Spirits speak through me. I'm sensitive to energy and can pick up things from places. I can not always give readings on demand----I only hear when a Spirit has a message. I'm intuitive about people I meet and events but long distance readings like this are mostly Spirit sent--wether it be a loved one crossed over or spirit guide speaking--I'm just the messanger. My gift is meant to be a conduint for healing. If your message was indeed healing you can give a prayer of thanks to the Angels that watch over you.



  • Thank you for explaining to me. I am grateful for your help. I will say a prayer in a moment to Thank God for your abilities and for sending the message to me. I will thank the angels too. I will also say a prayer for God to have mercy on his soul because i have completely forgiven him of any wrongs he done to me. I only thought in my head that i had forgave him in the past. Now i feel an enornous weight of burden lifted from my heart and i know I have forgave him whole heartedly. If you get a chance send that message im sure he would feel some peace from it. Thank you for using your abilities to help others. You are a jewel! God Bless your heart!



  • Ok so a couple weeks have passed since you first replied to me Blmoon. The initial shock of amazement is fading and it is like you handed me the key to the rest of my life. Where do i go from here? I've felt for 6 months or so that it is time for me to make changes. I have many areas in need of improvement lots of room for growth too. My nerves and major depression/bipolar whatever it is has really gotten the best of me since shortly after my daughter was born 2 years ago come Feb. Ive just been sinking further and further and have coped the best I know how. I just feel now Im on the verge of something and I dont want to miss it or let the time pass me by. I know basically what I need to do. I need to be closer to God and live like he would have me live like I should live. That message opened something in me. It gave me motivation which i have lacked and that is necessary for me to make changes. I have no sense of self control. How do i teach myself that? I would love anyones advice.



  • We all feel a lack of control part of the time. Your illness really exagerates that issue. So much is out of your control. Unfortunetly being bipolar makes it nessacery to have a close loved one to keep you in check because when you are sick you cannot always see it. For that loved one there is a book called LOVING SOMEONE WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER--BY JULIE A. FAST AND JOHN D. PRESTON, PSYD. This is a good book written in simple language. All bipolar people have comman traites yet each is very different which is why someone who knows you best can really make a difference. Life situations dictate a lot as to severity and symptons. Some people have milder episodes. The thing that will help you most is knowing about triggers--birth of a child is on the top of the list. I'm specialy senitive to people with this mental illness and have been a care taker as well. I think that is why I'm often chosen as a messanger of spirit to those in need of healing. You are right about making life changes--this living right feeling is prompting you to souround yourself with people who have reached a higher conceisness. Unfortunetly, bipolar people tend to attract other bipolar people! This kind of excessive stress and drama does send you out of control more. Not all bipolar people are sick all the time--there are many highly productive and even famouse people with this illness--they just have learned a better more secure support system and have surrounded themselves with positive and strong spiritualy motivated people they can trust to get them straight when they slip. Number one rule on your list is you must always have a loved one on your doctor's call list who can discuss your symptoms when you are sick and don't see it and also when your meds aren't working. As you know medication is everything and takes persistence to get it right. Some people go years of trying meds that don't work or makes things worse because the average doctor is not trained as well as a Psychiatrist. Many bipolars only go to the doc when they are depressed and the doctor is not aware of the manic side and prescribes certain antidepressents which often make bipolars worse. Unless someone has a family history of bipolar most doctors miss it. Manic people never go to the doc because manic thinking never thinks anything is wrong! That's why a loved one is so important to the success of your treatment. I'm assuming you have a good doctor since you seem to be functioning well enough to acknowledge your illness. Your desire to surround yourself with more stable and positive people will definetly help you live the life you know you can. You do have a purpose and you can be more than your illness. Education is everything. Education will be important in finding the balance you crave.



  • Blmoon, Thank you once more for your help. You are precious to me even though I have no idea who or where you are or anything about you. You hold a special place in my heart now and I will never forget the impact you've had in my life! I could go on and on and on but I will cut it short for now. Sometimes im not sure i am actually bipolar. I have a very good doctor not one who just gives any kind of meds. The only once have I had the manic episode and sure i have some days lots better than others but I never go and stay up for days in a manic state. I stay on the depressive side. Dr said that is possible. I want to sleep all the time always sleepy. No energy whatsoever. In the past i have self medicated by whatever means to make it out of bed to function. I my job of 7 years due to panic and being hospitalized. I told my husband if I had to live my entire life stuck in the depths of depression and battling this disease it would be worth it if I could find the answer to how to make things better and be able to share it with just one other person that they might avoid the everday struggle from it. I would do it in a heartbeat. I feel like ive experienced the things i have for a reason and i want so desperately to be able to help others in my condition but i am not there now. I cant even help myself most days! lol, I have to laugh at it otherwise id be in tears 24/7. You are truly a beautiful soul! Bless you a zillion times for being so compassionate to me.



  • I hope you have a wonderful holiday Blmoon! You know, I think are my real life angel! Just wanted to say Happy Holidays and May you be Blessed!!

    amy


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