A Cancer Woman I want just told me she doesn't love me, can I believe it?
I have been going after a cancer woman for the past three months. When we met, she had just broke up with her boy friend and only discovered she was carrying his pregnancy. Three weeks later, from the time we met, she got pregnancy pains and called me to take her to the hospital which I did. She unfortunately had a miscarriage and since she was not employed, I paid for her medical expenses and provided all the necessary care!
Our rest of two months has been characterized of clear mixed signals. We kissed twice, hugged several times and went out on two or three occasions with her friends. She requests for what she needs like I am her lover. I bought her silver jewelries, and other gifts but she does not like her friends to know or see the gifts. She now refuses to kiss me and tells me that we are just friends. We never had sex. She feels jealous if any lady tries to be friendly to me she becomes jealous.
Today when I asked her to be open and tell me what she feels about me she said she doesn't love me at all and that she did not know why she felt so. When I suggested to her to then stop seeing each other, she said she would always be my friend and that she always count on me.
My heart if bleeding! For three months I have known her she sparked my heart. Her changing moods made me to be more active. I'm disturbed because I had already put her to my heart and I am now struggling to overcome the pain. I have already arranged for her job in one of my business branches since she has had no job for a year. She is a people's loving and friendly lady. However, for all the gifts I have bought for her and her mother, she has not showed any signs of appreciation.
Can someone with experience of winning Cancer Women advise me what to do; is it true that she really doesn’t love me? Can I work hard to forget about her or to win her back. Please it’s urgent, I need your help.
I'm sorry--but you can not win back what you never had. Believe her when she says she is not in-love with you. She tells you this to let herself off the hook or she'd have to own up to taking advantage of you. You are obviously a kind and sympathetic soul with a big big heart. You deserve better. If you feel the need to continue to help her out you must give with no strings attached and with your eyes wide open to the reality of no future as her boyfriend.. There is no payback here. I'm concerned for you as to why you think so little of yourself that you would except her disregard for you as a man with feelings for her. She is taking advantage of you and letting her neediness outway her responsability to not harm for personal gain. You sound like you are in pain either way--with her or without her. There is someone out there somewhere who would apreciate the kind of devotion you have to offer but she can't find you if you are busy being painfully tied to this woman with no future. Have patience, you'll get past the lonely days and someone new will come.
muwangula . If cancer women are the same as cancer men , which I dont think they are , but I have the same thing doing on with my cancer b/f . He has done exactly the same to me . I have been with him for 15 months , he took my money and since he want back to India on holiday i have not heard a word from him in over a monthe even though he is back home now , just dumped me looks like . If you have time please read my forum
'Have i lost my cancer b/f for good , and reply please on my forum thank you
It's hard to say what will ultimately happen, but the only thing to do when someone tells you they do not love you is back away. Leave her alone, you can be friendly, but do not exstend yourself in any way. If she cares for you but does not love you she will let you go. If she loves you but does not trust herself she will reopen the conversation of romance. If she is just using you she will carry on as if nothing has changed and expect you to continue bailing her out. I also advise you reconsider hiring her as things could be become complicated no matter how she feels for you.
Muwangula>>I paid for her medical expenses and provided all the necessary care!
Sandran>>Why do people do this???This kind of stuff gives me a friggin headache.Let me try to help you..To start..You were on the rebound.Which means..you came along after someone else was in the picture..My question would have been..Why did you break up with the boyfriend?You fell too hard for her.Those gifts were too expensive on a short time relationship.Cancer has a habit of going back and forth between lovers.She does sound controlling.Because she keeping the gifts a secret..Sounds like she is playing you against her boyfriend she broke up with.You are better off to leave her alone.Do not get the job for her.You do not need to help her.She sounds like an opportunist..Sorry you cannot win someone like this back.Please remember that she may be a Cancer.But, there must be other signs/planets in her Astrology chart to make her out to be the Gold Digger that she is..Tell her You don't want to see her anymore.She is nothing But a Gold digger.That will pisss her off...LOL.
sandran>> I agree with you . Look what happened to me , Opportunist /golddigger yessssss.
so you like her so much you pay for medical expenses and send her gifts etc
that is very nice of you
but then again if she doesn't want you, she doesn't
you can spend all the money you have on her, but money can't buy her love
did she ask you to pay for the medical thing? you can probably ask her to pay it back
and then move on, find someone that will love you as much as you love her
she doesn't love you, jealous or not, she makes it clear
well I go with what she said, because I am one that says it as it is
I can't read between the lines so this is as far as I can take off what you said she said
leoscorpion>>but money can't buy her love
Sandran712>>Sounds like a Beatles song...LOL
leoscorpion>>I can't read between the lines so this is as far as I can take off what you said she said
Sandran712>>I can see Gold Digger all over it.He says she gets jealous if he comes within inches of another woman.She goes off the deep end.And that is probably..This guy has got some potential..Not to mention a job.But.This..Muwangula needs to quit dishing money out like it's a glass of water...
Sandran712>>Are you from Tanzania..(??).One of these African Countries?
I used to talk to a guy on the internet named Almodwee..'Oh for pity sakes.I can't spell in a foreign language let alone say it..LOL
Yeah, sounds like she has used you. You should stop giving her gifts and paying for her medical expenses.
i feel your pain man, ive been in a very similar situation, for almost 4 months now, take a break from her for a while maybe a few weeks to a month, stop thinking about her all the time and get your life back on track without her, then maybe contact her when you got your feet on steady ground, or if she contacts you first tell her you wish to not see her and tell her how she has made you feel "taken advantage of" "used" etc.... this is what im doing right now with my girl ive been "seeing", its hard to be a good guy like me and you, and not contact the girl that has our heart but if i can do it, you can too, i have hope that its not over between us and maybe move into a relationship but for now im taking a break and you should too, ive seen good guys be in bad relationships and its not pretty(my friend has been cheated on 8 times once caught in the act and he still is with her) because she will be on the streets if he leaves and uses everything against him to trap him there and us good guys need to find a girl that it worth all of our efforts. i know i have but not right now at this stage in our lives,
stay strong and leave her be for a while and see what happens, she shouldnt NEED you, she should WANT you, theres a difference
I had the same question as Sandra why did you pay for the bills? If you weren't around what would she have done then? I was almost going to explain the feeling of loosing a child but this doesn't fit in the mix.
These kind of persons really messes things up for decent woman who aren't like that.
I also agree that you shouldn't give her that job. Let her apply for it like anyone else. Fair chance for another person that can also use the money. If she qualifies let her know that she isn't getting any gift, favors, ANYTHING from you.
You did your share and that's it.
Sandran712>>Are you from Tanzania..(??).
Sandran712>>I just remembered the country called Tunisia on the upper right or left side of Africa.I used to talk to a guy there on the internet.This guy was not dark skin either.But,He was a nympho...LOL
chevelleman71>>ive seen good guys be in bad relationships and its not pretty(my friend has been cheated on 8 times once caught in the act and he still is with her)
Sandran>>He needs to dump this girl.That is just pathetic..If he has a guilty conscience of letting her go.He needs to just get a backbone and do it.That isn't healthy.He will learn to resent all future relationships that may be healthy and go after these women that are so pathetic and disgusting..Tell your friend.you think in his best interest to dump her and he wants to just be left alone.Don't worry that she would be left alone.Because when you are left all alone you do manage..I been on my own/alone for 46 years.I am sure she can learn to do it.Especially with her nasty azz behavior.
Flowsco>>had the same question as Sandra why did you pay for the bills?
Sandran>>This guy sounds like a really nice guy trying to buy a woman's affection with money.And this woman getting jealous if he steps within inches of another woman just leaves me to believe this guy must have a real good job with money.And she just jealous because she feels threatened the money source will be spent on another woman.Makes alot of sense..She is unemployed looking for a guy with money to pay bills for her.Muwangula... we call this a "Sugar Daddy" in the United States.If there had been sex involved.In your case it wasn't she would have been a prostiute...LOL
This is a very bad sign coming from a Cancer lady, it means you've no chance but she's too afraid to cut you off. She'll sponge, but not feel guilty if she bluntly tells you what she's doing.
Please just drop the gal and don't worry at all as to her capability to survive on her own. A cancer lady is a survivor and do very well independently, they at times do worse if they've someone to look after them, because they'll allow it even if they don't have love in their heart for you. It's a difficult scenario and just spells disaster to you in the end.
@ Sandran I think your right about him being a nice guy. So few of them out there. I hope he is able to show her that she doesn't have any right to think that she owns him s e x involved or not. It's just ridiculous. I am starting to wonder why the other guy stepped out!! Maybe he waked up and smell the uhmm.......coffee?....LOL
I really appreciate the views and encouragements you all made to my problem with the Cancer lady I have been pursuing. As she does every morning, yesterday she sent me an SMS of morning greetings. I acknowledged by telling her to leave me alone and probably consider her friendship proposal in the future. But today, she still sent me an sms of greetings but did not reply.
To my knowledge, there seems to be some cultural implications here. I originate from Zambia but permanently live in Namibia. In this country, unlike Zambia, tribes a highly divided due to the past colonial set-up which was a strategy by Germans to ensure that the indigenous people are separated to defeat them, hence few years after independence it was un-common that a lady accepted a man from another tribe. Ten years from independence, this trend has, however, gradually changed with a large number of ladies from the tribe of this lady being involved or getting married to men from other tribes or countries but for some it’s still a great barrier.
Whichever, the case, with all your encouragements, I have decided to park and eventually close this job file to help me consider other opportunities. As for the gifts I provided to her, I supported her most when she gave me signs of affiliation and love which fluctuated. I consider them as a gesture of appreciations for the moments we shared together and much more, as a reminder of a role I played in her life. As Taurus, I believe money comes and goes but what is important to me is that I still have my sources of my income; my skills and businesses.
My moving on will now be characterized of my distrust of the next woman I meet. Are there still any trust worthy women on earth or are they all just after using men? Why do unloving and abusive men get more loved and appreciated?
Thank you again for the support.
us women wonder the same thing, we wonder why guys fall for girls like that when genuine women who seek love get used and manipulated. I think we all (men and women) are drawn to what we can't really have.