CharmedWitchBente, I could really use some advice.

  • I have read some of your posts and you seem very insightful. If you could possibly spare a bit of time, I could very much use your help.

    I am currently in a relationship of about 13 years. About a month and a half ago, I entered into a relationship with a wonderful man. I had known him for a few years as a friend of my current bf, but obviously, something changed. The feelings were undescribable and I believe he felt (feels?) the same. My bf found out we were talking and now he (the new man) won't talk to me anymore. He won't answer calls or texts. I am so lost and broken w/out him. I'm trying to find him, but no success as yet. I just need to know a) Does he feel the same about me? and b) Will he come back so that we can be together? I firmly believe that we'd still have a relationship if I had never been caught, so I'm confused about the complete cut-off.

    Any insight would be so greatly appreciated and welcomed. Thanks so much in advance to anyone who may read this and offer some help 🙂

  • Let me get this straight. you are with a guy been with him for 13 plus years

    You meet a new man

    Yoiu get caught by yourman of 13 years

    new man withdraws and you can get him in touch?

    Pardon me for saying this BUT many men has a sense of moral. A sense of ethics. Sense of what is right and wrong.

    I get what ever he felt he aint gonna be THE OTHER ONE. Further i get IF he was choosing to BE the other man, WHAT STOPS you from not playing the field with your 13 year old relationship man or ANY OTHER hunk that comes along?

    Im sorry but I have a REALLY hard time helping someone who cheats their partner and themselves. However i feel YOU need to SIT DOWN n SERIOUSLY find out WHAT IS MISSING in the 13 year old relationship you cheated on. N now mark my words dear, do NOT blame your 13 year relationship partner entirely, bc you are as much to blame for what ever is missing and has gone wrong.

    ANY relationship is a delicate sensitive exotic flower. And if not cared for by BOTH partners, you may as well call it the quits.

    Last i wanna say, regard new guy you NEVER had a relationship. You had an affair. Step up and admit you cheated n find out why you cheated urself.

    If any other reader has insight plz chime in.

  • I appreciate the fact that you took the time to answer but I really didn't need to be scolded for it. I realize what I did was wrong and never said I didn't cheat. All I wanted was a little help. I guess I should have trusted my original instinct not to try asking for guidance in such a touchy matter. Thanks for your time.

  • Im sorry, if i scolded you. Is just ive seen the damage such has n can do. Again honey, you need to find out what is missing in your relationship. Once you do you can find out wether or not you wish to start anew with the new man. I felt he want you to be UNATTACHED, meaning SINGLE so he can court you in the proper way. I feel romance n romancing has been missing for quite some years now.

    to get it back we at times often need to show the way of what is lacking. if we want romance we need to create it, candle dinner at home, lovely food n good wine. If we want more sex, we need to up our wardrope meaning burn the comfy loing washed out sweats homey comfy clothes, n get some sexy alluring outfits. Grannie panties out with em n get sexy new ones etc

    I also know many couples just grow apart, their paths just goes in opposite directions. I feel your partner of 13 years still loves you, but doesnt know how to get it back on track.

    Now if you want him and u still love him, u can help him. if you dont, be upfront n say i cant go on like this anymore, i want out.

    Love do NOT tell us whiom we fall in love with, and its a force non can control.

    Im sorry again and if you need someone t listen or hear you and aide am i here for you, no matter what you choose.

    like you am i human and at times we overreact.

    I hope you will forgive me and allow me to help you. Forces of love ..... oh my LOL ive been under it, heck i AM under it. tidal wave right now lolol

    if you want more private mail me at

    toodles dear n smile, 2 men loves you but neither is sure how to ahm show it.

  • Thank you for your patience and understanding. I do forgive you, but feel there is no need. You did nothing wrong. You simply voiced your opinion and I appreciate that. I would love to send you private mail but it seems your address is missing (unless you removed it). I feel I could learn alot from you. If you would prefer, as per another post of yours, I could give you my email instead. Thanks again and hope to hear from you soon.

  • This post is deleted!

  • I know you are in pain right now but I promise you there will be a day long down the road when you look back at this and say boy did Iget lucky dodging THAT bullit! This realy is a blessing in disguise. Like all really good feelings that abruptly end there is a very uncomfortable withdrawl period. Hang tough--it will get better. I don't see this man coming back for you. He was attracted--but not that attracted to bust up a family. He's been there before, only to have the women panic and go back to ther man. He's sick of being the good listener and the "other man". You are the last time in his mind. I can hear him saying to himself this is messed up and I'm not a home wrecker--this is just too heavy man and I'm tired of playing lonely girls and leaving town He wants to do it different next time. He likes your husband and is pissed at himself. He and your husband have had words you don't know about. You already suspect that. You need to pray to your guardian angel for special strength to get past this. You could make yourself sick over this. Say a prayer and let it go out of your hands for now. Fill the space he has left with something you haven't done in a while that you forgot you loved. It will get better.

  • Thank you Blmoon. You are right and I want to cry right now. I'm trying to stay strong but it's so hard. I just wish I could talk to him.....

Log in to reply