Aries with a Leo...
I have been with my Leo bf for nearly 2 years. In that time we ended up pregnant and lost our baby girl at birth due to a cord accident. This was 4 mths ago. Things changed drastically. We had often struggled in the relationship b/c neither of us felt ready to be in one, we came together as friends. But we were always pulled back together by forces neither of us could understand, we were never able to fully walk away (even before the pregnancy). We have confided things in one another that no one else on this earth knows. Recently we acknowledged that it felt as if we had been together in another life. He is very much influenced by the 'people' around him (his father, brother, exwife and such). Right now he is asking for his space, which I am having a difficult time giving him with a happy and peaceful heart. I am not clear if I am having a difficult time doing this because I am still mourning our baby (which I am) or because I am fighting the natural progression. I have NO doubt in this world that this is the man that was created for me and me for him. Of that, I am completely positive. We have always been so natural together, nothing was ever forced. Even now, if we find ourselves together he will loosen up and let the wall down, he still confides in me. I also think that perhaps he realizes now that he has confided so much in me & that with our baby gone, that it would be easier for me to no longer remain loyal and to share the information he has given to me. I would never do that & deep inside he knows that. I have, in a hormonal rage threatened, but realized the other week that I had done that and sincerely asked for forgiveness. I know that I would never releave what he has shared with me. He has not mourned our daughter the way I wish that he had. His family does not seem to be emotionally open, that is really the main opposite that we have. But with me, he has almost always been emotionally open. It just seems that since our daughter's stillbirth that he has closed down all emotions.
I meditate and pray every night for him to come back to me, as I feel strongly that is what the universe has in place for us. As I said, he is whom I am supposed to spend my life with. I also believe that as simple human beings, we can take control of a situation and make a mess of it. Right now with the thought of his confussed and fearly position, what do you think that I should do? I would really appreciate any advice. The holidays are difficult enough without our daughter, where it's one of the main things that I think about, he said that he can't allow himself to think about that. We are both in our early 40's, so it's not as if we are inexperienced at life in general, but he has had no experience in his life with death, especially of someone close.
I believe he is suffering as much as you do. he doesn't show this, because his pride kicks in. a leo man believes crying is sign of weakness. he will not cry or show his weakness in any way in front of you. but he is, nonetheless, suffering for the loss of his daughter.
give him the time he needs. leo males are very close to his parents. like in the wild, they do have pack mentality. if his family is not open emotionally like you said, then this also contributes to him not wanting to show emotion. weakness is a no no for a leo male, he can be emotionally open to you, but that one thing he will not let you know. sometimes to deal with sadness and failure, his temper kicks in. so it can manifest in different ways, in his case, he asks for space. give him that, but try to keep contact or he will drift away completely.
just call or text him saying Hi now and then. so he doesn't feel pestered. not that you are pestering, but he will feel that way if he wants to be left alone.
as to your relationship, I will leave it to the universe. nurture yourself now. do routine exercise for your physical and your psyche (yoga and meditation can be found online for free videos, or go with your beliefs). you need to nurture yourself, for it is part of healing. healing takes time and discipline. when you are ready, the universe will send you the solution to your relationship problem. maybe he will return, maybe someone else will come to you. do your best to stay positive. positivity supports love and love supports life. your life, life of your relationship, life of your next child. understand that everything happens for a reason. the miscarriage didn't happen because you were punished. you have been careful but it still happened because the universe wants you to learn something else. In time, you will be pregnant again. this time, both you and the child's father (whether it is this leo guy or not) will be fully ready for the joy and challenges of raising a child and have a family. one more reason to stay positive, is because the universe sends back what you send out. refrain from negativities: anger, despair, sadness, worry, fear, jealousy, revenge etc. look back into the past and learn the lessons. close the door. make amends when necessary and possible. we all make mistakes. it's time to start a new. revenge is not necessary, for the universe will take care of that. stay positive even in times of turmoil and to those who wronged you. when things are tough, tell yourself This too shall pass, for it will and you will return to positive state soon. I made this post for you, what he does is his own choice. if he sees you change, he will change. if not, the universe will send you someone who sees the new you and would like to share his lfie with you. you may think you are meant to be together, I'm not saying against that. but I want you to understand that the universe knows us to the core, be open to posisbilities, for the universe is a place of abundance and it is ready to share its abundance with you.
Thankyou for your input. I have been in such turmoil with the stillbirth of our daughter. He and I do go about grieving in different ways. I choose to willingly outwardly remember her. I want people to know that I 'want' to talk about her. To him, it should be kept private and he shouldn't have any pictures of her on his keychain or his desk because as he said, what do I say if someone asks 'oh, she's dead'. Her delivery pictures look the same as my other three children. You cannot tell that she was stillborn. Thankfully, I know now that is because she did not struggle. I have been moving forward with my healing, I am focused on my health, my future and mainly, my other children. I know that I will again, see my daughter another day. It is difficult however to step back from the man you love. At my age, I had given up on the one true love coming into my life. When he came into my life it was as a friend and we progressed rapidly but very naturally. Meditation and prayer seems to bring me a great deal of calm, so that is the course of each evening around 8pm. My children even noticed that I seem calmer and at peace when I am done. I have chosen to step back and give him what he needs and at the same time, to be willing to wait for him. My heart knows that at some point in our future, we will be brought back together, just as we both feel we have been in past lives together, I know that there is future lives together... prayfully even now.
Again thank you for your insight. I am new here and am finding it very helpful in the direction that my new path of discovery is taking me.
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hope for the best Laine
and welcome aboard
stay positive and the change within you will bring nice surprises